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CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

PAIGE: Why am I finding out from Franny that you’re leaving Bare Necessities and not directly from you?

ETTA: I literally just quit five minutes ago. How the hell did you find out so fast?

PAIGE: Franny asked if I’d take over Jockstrap Joey until she can get one of the new girls trained.

ETTA: I’d like to formally apologize for that, but also, no regrets. If I never have to clean another jockstrap it will be too soon.

PAIGE: And yet you’re living with a professional athlete.

ETTA: It’s not like I do his laundry.

PAIGE: No, you just clean his apartment.

ETTA: I prefer contain the chaos.

PAIGE: I met him yesterday, by the way.

PAIGE: He isn’t as bad as I thought he’d be.

ETTA: That’s high praise coming from you.

PAIGE: I know, right?

PAIGE: Have you started looking for a new apartment?

ETTA: No. Not yet. It’s on my list of things to do this week.

PAIGE: Or, you could just take Ford up on his offer to stay as long as you want. And then let that gorgeous roomie of yours defile you? Because damn girl, he’s fucking divine.

ETTA: Does Anthony know you’re checking out my roommate?

PAIGE: Woman, he’d give his left nutsack to meet Ford. I’m pretty sure he’d check him out himself.

ETTA: And to answer your question, I don’t know.

PAIGE: Wait.

PAIGE: That’s not a complete no.

PAIGE: Did something happen?

PAIGE: Etta?!

ETTA: Um.

ETTA: I have so much to catch you up on.

PAIGE: Go onnnnnnn

ETTA: My date went horrible. So Ford sort of offered to teach me to date and then one thing led to another and he may or may not have walked me through getting myself off.

ETTA: hands covering face monkey emoji

PAIGE: First of all, let me say I know how hard that was for you to admit, so thank you.

PAIGE: Second

PAIGE: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK I’M SO FUCKING PROUD OF YOU!!!

PAIGE: I swear as soon as I’m done getting my vagina waxed, I’m calling your ass and I want all the details.