Page 30

CHAPTER THIRTY

JULIET

“What do you think, Lodhi?” I hold up a soft yellow tank top and a lacey green sundress.

My cat glances up from grooming himself with a look that is the cat equivalent of: I don’t give a shit, lady. I don’t know why you’re trying to impress him.

It makes my decision for me.

Definitely the tank top. The dress is too much.

Because my cat is right. Why am I trying so hard? This is just Ford. It’s not real. Even if that orgasm he talked me through was very real and woke up a side of me I didn’t know I had. A side that very much wants a repeat. But we’re just pretending. I don’t owe him anything. Even if that same part of me has had my hand drifting south in the shower the last three days and wondering what he’d look like without those gray sweatpants.

It helps that I’m usually gone before Ford gets up in the morning, and he’s already at the stadium in the afternoon when I get home from the restaurant. Our only interactions have been the handful of texts he’s sent for proof of life, so there haven't been any awkward run-ins.

Am I avoiding him?

Maybe. Mostly because I’m not sure if I want to talk about what happened or ask him to be in the room the next time I finger myself. Or maybe I’d just offer for him to be the one to make me come.

Freaking hell.

I don’t even know who I am anymore. I never had these kinds of thoughts with Tyler. Our sex life was always very cut and dry. Even before he went into the majors. It was always on his schedule, and when he wanted it, and to be honest, I was okay with it because I didn’t know any better.

Or maybe that’s not true.

Maybe I just never truly let myself admit I wanted more until it was too late, and I was trapped. I was so young when we got together, and it’s not like I had another option once we were married. What more could I do than be okay with it?

You could have spoken up. Said something. Tried to create a space of honesty with Tyler.

I chuckle to myself. Ford is rubbing off on my conscience.

But I can’t live in the should’ve, could’ve, would’ve.

I also can’t forget what it’s like to have the freedom to come whenever and however I want.

A girl has needs, after all.

Shit, is this what it’s like to be a hormonal teenage boy who just discovered his dick?

“You ready in there?” Ford knocks on my door, eliciting a hiss from Lodhi. “Everyone will be here in about twenty minutes.”

I quickly slip on the tank top and tuck it into my high-waisted yellow and plaid white shorts before swinging the door open. “What do you mean, everyone will be here? I thought we were going on date number two.”

Ford steps forwardand leans against the frame, arms crossed over his Rebelution T-shirt—who I have learned is a small reggae band he’s obsessed with. He’s paired it with a pair of dark wash jeans that sit low on his hips and hug his thighs in all the right places.

He doesn’t immediately answer. His eyes are too busy tracing their way down my body, much in the same way I did his. They linger on the swell of my breasts and then the hem of my shorts on the way back up. He sucks his lower lip between his teeth, and it shouldn’t be as sexy as it is. But you know, second puberty strikes and heat fills my cheeks and pesky butterflies flutter low in my belly.

Ford chokes out a cough when he realizes he’s been caught gawking, and I’m thankful he has no idea I was doing the same thing.

“I—uh—we are having ourdate, but we aren’t actually going anywhere.”

“We aren’t?”

“Nope.” He pops the p at the end and turns toward the dining area. “Today is a lesson in meeting your date’s friends and playing nice.”

My brow furrows as I slip on my shoes and follow him. “I know how to meet people, Ford.”

I just choose not to.

He looks over his shoulder and arches one of his perfectly sculpted brows. “And yet, your only friend is Paige.”

“I’m going to tell her you said that like it was a bad thing,” I warn, crossing my arms over my chest.

“Please don’t. I really like my balls attached to my body.”

I do too. But I don’t let him in on that spicy little inside thought. “So, your friends are coming here, and we’re going to do what exactly?”

He stops at the dining table, and I notice the vase that usually sits in the center has been replaced with a giant mat that has a grid pattern on it. He waits for me to slide up beside him and pins me with a smirk. “Play Dungeons and Dragons , of course.”

I blink, unsure that I heard him correctly. “Your nerdy tabletop game?”

“One and the same,” he says with a chuckle. “And I wouldn’t knock it till you try it.”

“But I don't know how to play.” I backpedal toward my room. “And isn’t it something where there’s a story, and you guys have already started, and I’m not a part of it, so I’d just be in the way?”

“Relax, Juliet. I’ve got you taken care of.”

Doesn’t he always.

Ford picks up a stack of papers off the table and offers them to me. “I’ve created you a character with an easy backstory. Your only job will be to hit things really hard and protect your party.”

“That’s it?” My brow wrinkles. “It can’t be that easy.”

“If that’s what you want. That’s the beauty ofDungeons and Dragons. You can be as much or as little as you want.”

I chew on my cheek, debating if I shouldn’t continue my retreat to the bedroom or hear him out.

This is so far out of my comfort zone. But of course, that’s why we’re doing it. Ford promised to teach me the ins and outs of dating. Anyone I go out with will have interests of their own that I’ll need to try. How am I supposed to discover what I like if I’m not willing to step outside my norm a little?

But Dungeons and Dragons?

Come on. Will I really be able to use these skills in the future?

Still, I can’t deny my interest is piqued by the game that took Ford from surfing prom king and unleashed his inner nerd.

I take the stack and glance over the top paper. The first thing to pop out at me is the name and class of my character.

“Shea Holkenson, Barbarian.” I snort and level a playful glare. “Youseriously named me She Hulk?”

Mischief glimmers across Ford’s face as he feigns innocence. “It seemed fitting considering you like to call me Hulk.”

All I can do is shake my head as I continue reading through the backstory Ford created for me. Shea is an orc who has been wronged. She used to be known throughout the lands for her family’s famous chili. But someone stole the recipe and is now claiming they have the best chili in the land. Shea is working her way across the continent to find the thief and bring them to justice.

It’s quirky and cute, and I hate that I’m swooning over the fact he wrote a backstory for my character that incorporates my love of cooking.

“Okay, so I’m a big green orc barbarian with a vendetta, but where do I fit into the game?”

“That’s the best part. We play a style of game that each session is a mission, that way whoever is able to show up to play can, and we’re still pretty low level, so there’s not too much overarching story yet. You’ll just be a pretty orc at the tavern that joins the party so she can make a few coins to fund her vendetta.”

Excitement and passion shine in his eyes as he talks about this game he loves. It’s contagious, and I find myself looking forward to seeing Ford in his element. Especially after watching him pour over the source books he now has neatly stacked on a cart in the corner.

“You’ve thought of everything.” I quickly look away and continue to read over the stats and features of my character so he won’t see how touched I am by his actions. “And who plays with you?”

“A few of the guys on the team. It started with me showing Smitty how to roll up a character during a rain delay. By the time the game started, a few more of the guys had joined in, and I agreed to run a game. Now we play whenever we’re in town and have a free day or the night off after an early game, like today.”

“And Jo plays with you guys too?”

“Correct. She’s probably the most excited for tonight, since it will mean she’s not the only woman at the table.”

Ford takes two steps forward, closing the space between us so we’re nearly toe to toe. His citrus scent engulfs me, and my stomach flips as I tip my head back and grin. “Well, we wouldn’t want to disappoint Jo, would we?”

His lips pull up in a tight smile. “That’s your reason for saying yes?”

“Do I need a better one?”

He shrugs nonchalantly. “It just means I’m going to have to wow you tonight, so you’ll walk away wanting to return for me instead of her.”

“That’s a tall order, Mr. Hulk.” I tilt my head to the side, exposing my neck to him.

For the hundredth time since our first date, I’m wondering who the heck I am to tempt fate like this and tease him, but I can’t help it. It's just so…easy with Ford. Maybe it’s because there are no consequences for my reckless behavior, or maybe it’s because as of late my body craves release like a drug, but I’m enjoying learning with him.

Ford leans in, his lips so close that I can feel his breath brush mine. “I’m up for the challenge.”

My heart thunders against my rib cage. I suck in a sharp breath, but before I can exhale, he’s gone, turning toward the table. He picks up a small velvet drawstring bag and reaches for my hand, dropping it in my palm.

“These are for you.”

The bag is heavy, and the contents rattle as I move to pull the top open and tip the contents into my hand.

Out fall a beautiful set of pink dice that have a soft white swirl to them and intricate gold numbers etched into each side.

“They’re made from rose quartz,” Ford explains.

“These are—” I’m at a loss for words, my gaze darting from his face to the gift in my hands. “You bought me crystals.”

He nods, a sheepish smile spanning his lips. “I figured you’d need something to play with tonight, and why shouldn’t they be a beautiful something you can add to your collection?”

My mouth gapes like a damn fish, but at least it hides the unease blooming in my chest. I don’t have the heart to tell him I sold most of my crystals in order to make ends meet while I was trying to pay off Tyler’s debt. Or that I haven’t collected any new ones because they remind me of my family, who I still haven’t had the courage to call and straighten things out with.

“Thank you,” I whisper, but really, I’m freaking out on the inside.

These dice—crystals—they’re too much. They aren’t pretending. They’re very real. Very penguin-like. And even though my heart is absolutely swooning, my mind isn’t sure what to make of it.

Ford slips his hands around my waist, holding me against him as he lowers his lips to my ear. “You never have to thank me for taking care of you. It’s my pleasure.”

It might be the heat of his body against mine or the word pleasure falling from his lips, but with every breath that coasts along the crook of my neck, tension builds low in my belly.

“Are we still not talking about the other night?”

The tension crackling between us surges and settles like an electric current neither of us can quite snap free from.Part of me wants to explore every nuance of our phone call, but still, I shake my head. “I don’t think we have enough time to cross that bridge before everyone gets here.”

“That’s a shame.” Ford pulls back slowly, and even though his words are playful, his eyes betray his desire. “But it does bring me to one last point I’d like to talk about before our friends arrive.”

“Which is?”

His eyes trace myface, pausing briefly on my lips. “Everyone coming over are people I trust and have been informed that we’re seeing how things go between us, but I need to know what you’re comfortable with.”

“Meaning?” I breathe, but I’m more focused on the way his gaze hasn’t left my lips.

“Can I brush your hair away from your face?” He tucks a stray strand behind my ear and trails his fingers down the exposed flesh on my neck, over my shoulder and down my arm, sending a pulse of need through me. He laces his fingers through mine. “Can I hold your hand?”

“Yes,” I whisper.

I swear he inches closer.

“In front of everyone?” he asks, almost having me believe this action is some kind of monumental breakthrough that will change everything.

“Yes, please.”

His lips twitch with amusement, but it’s the heat flashing in his eyes that does me in. He wants me too. Even if it’s just make believe. I roll up onto my toes, my eyes leveling with his, and lean in…

Only to be interrupted by three loud raps on the door.

We both tense, neither of us moving an inch either way.

“That’ll be the guys,” Ford whispers.

I nod. “Then you should get that.”

He presses his forehead to mine. “I’d rather stay here.”

“Ford.” It’s less whisper and more breathy declaration.

“Fuck,” he growls and I love reducing him to the primal curse. “You can’t say my name like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like you’d rather have a repeat of how hard you came to the sound of my voice than allow me to open that door.”

Shit.

My lips part, and I’m about to tell him to cancel our date. I'd rather stay in with him, but then Ford chuckles and steps back, effectively ending whatever could have been.

“You win, for now. Mostly because Smitty won’t knock again before he just barges in. But for the record, this conversation isn’t over.” He leans down and presses a kiss to my cheek, his lips far softer than any man’s should be. “Now let’s roll some dice, love.”