30

MIRABELLA

Six Months Later

I sit on my balcony off my room sipping on wine. I haven’t been able to stand the taste of whiskey ever since I told Kilian we couldn’t be together.

At least he held true to his promise. He hasn’t contacted me since that day in London. When his mother arrived home with Aria, I nearly lost it. Aria was her normal self, jumping around and laughing. Like she was just on holiday and not being held a prisoner.

Siobhan Bancroft was so nice and apologetic. She thanked me for letting her meet her granddaughter. And I had to hold back tears thinking of the life I could have let her have with Aria, the life Kilian should have with Aria.

Kilian didn’t say goodbye to her. And I regret that the most. I was selfish. I should have let him say goodbye. Should have let him get one last look at his daughter. But instead I took Aria’s hand and left the estate without looking back.

I’ve cried myself to sleep most nights the last six months. I barely leave the house except for taking Aria to practice and games or when I need groceries. I finally accepted my parents’ inheritance, my self-deprecation keeping me from doing anything for myself.

I should have bought Magda and Salvatore’s restaurant. Should have kept their dream alive. They were like grandparents to Aria. Magda the closest thing to a mother to me. But I let their dream die with them. To this day, the place is still boarded up, no one wanting to purchase it.

Dante calls me every now and then to check on me. He keeps me informed that Giancarlo is still in a coma and that he has taken his seat as Don for the time being. Our calls always short. He may have helped me but he still isn’t my family. The only family I have left is Aria.

“Mama,” Aria sings as she skips into my room and stands in the doorway to the balcony. “I finished my homework. Can I go practice in the yard?”

I look at my phone, she still has an hour before bed. “Go ahead, sweetie.”

She turns to leave but pauses. “Are you okay, Mama?”

I nod.

“You’ve been sad for a while. Is it because Magda died?”

I clench my jaw to hold back tears. “I’ll always be sad about that.”

“Are you sad about Kilian? I know you really liked him. I miss him too. I wish he would come around.”

Tears crest my eyes and I turn my head away from Aria to wipe them away. “We chose different paths. We have different lives to live.”

Her next words shock me. “But he’s my dad. He should still come around for me at least.”

“What?” I shriek. “How… who…”

She shrugs. “No one told me if that’s what you’re asking. I just know it. Our eyes are the same.”

“A lot of people have blue eyes.”

“Yeah, but his are special. Just like mine. Not to mention that woman in London nearly cried every time she looked at me. And she told me she was Kilian’s mom.”

I have no words to say. I am completely shocked because I never thought she knew. She never said a word when she met him or anything the last few months.

“I really wish I could see him again. You know?” she says. “Just to tell him I think it’s cool he’s my dad.”

“Aria…”

“I know you didn’t tell me for a reason, Mom. And maybe one day you will.”

I watch her as she walks away. I am in complete shock. Her words rang with maturity and my heart breaks for her. She’s right, I never should have kept him from her.

Later that night, after I polished off two bottles of wine, I do the stupidest thing I could think of. I dig in my nightstand drawer and pull out the old burner phone. I stare at it for ten minutes before I plug it in and power it on and type out a text.

Bella: I was wrong. I’m so sorry.

I clutch the phone to my chest, waiting for a response that never comes.

* * *

I drop my purse on the end table near the front door and carry my bag of groceries into the kitchen. I just dropped Aria off at football practice and I should really get dinner started.

I pull the burner phone out of the kitchen drawer I stashed it in earlier and frown when I see no text. Not that I should be surprised. It’s been two weeks since I sent that drunken text to him. Two weeks with nothing in return. He probably doesn’t even have the phone anymore. He did what I asked and forgot about me, shut me out for good.

I shove the phone back in the drawer then empty my grocery bag. I walk over to the refrigerator and put the milk and chicken away. I nearly jump out of my shoes when I shut the door and find Kilian standing on the other side.

“W-what are you doing here?” I stumble over my words as I hold my hands to my chest. My heart rate picking up quickly.

“You texted me,” he says. His voice is gravelly and rich.

I take a deep breath and I inhale his smell. The cedarwood and spice mixed with that lingering scent of smoke. “I-I was drunk.” The words fall out of my mouth so quickly I don’t even know why I said them.

“I see,” he says.

“I mean… I just—”

“Is that why you’ve been checking that phone every day, multiple times a day?”

My jaw drops open. “How did you know?”

He gets that sexy smirk on his face that causes me to clench my thighs. “I didn’t. But you just confirmed it.”

He takes a step toward me, and I take a step back. I notice the slight limp in his step and I wonder if he never fully recovered from his dad shattering his kneecap.

“Kilian…”

“Bella,” he says.

I swear my heart shatters hearing him say my name. Not Mirabella but Bella. And I know, I know that’s him waving his white flag.

Tears fall from my eyes as I speak. “I’m so sorry, Kilian. I never should have said those things to you that day. I was just so scared. Scared of what could happen. Scared of what we could become.”

He takes another step toward me and I take a step back with each one of his until my back hits the wall.

“I never believed a word you said that day. I saw your heart break as you lied to my face. And I knew it was only a matter of time until I could have you back.”

His fingers trace up my bare arm and goose bumps ignite across my skin. “N-no,” I stammer. “I meant what I said. We can’t do this because of Aria.”

“No, we do this for Aria.” His voice is a command.

“But what about the darkness?”

“She is only light and she will never succumb to the darkness that I live in.” He presses his body into mine and cups my cheek. “And neither will you.”

I bite my lip, wanting to believe the words he is saying. I can see the truth in his gorgeous blue eyes. See his need for me. His want. His desire. I see that we can really have it all.

“I love you, Bella. I’ve loved you since that day we met as two lost kids twelve years ago. I never thought my life would get better. Because after I lost you, every goddamn day, it was like a piece of my soul dissipated into nothing. But then I got you back. And I thought my best days were ahead of us. Because I finally had the woman I’ve loved for so long. But that was a false hope. Because just like ten years ago, our families tore us apart. And these last months without you nearly ripped me in two. All I could think about were those months we spent together where I thought that our best years were ahead.

“Then you threw it all away with just a few words. But I won’t accept those words from you anymore. I know what we have is real. I know what it’s like to live without you. And I know what it’s like to live with you. And all my best days are when we are together. I know what I want, Bella. What I need in this life. It’s you. Only you.” His other hand lands on the other side of my jaw and his forehead touches mine. “Fuck, Bella, I love you and Aria more than I could ever say. And I know that our lives won’t be easy. That we will have to fight for what we have every single day. But just know that I would kill a dozen more men, a hundred, a thousand if it meant I could have you for the rest of my life. And that is all I want. You and Aria for the rest of my life.”

I can’t hold back the tears anymore. And I can’t fight my brain. Because my heart is begging me to tell this man yes. Tell him that I need him in my life. That I have barely breathed since the day I walked away from him. But I struggle to get the words out. Struggle to do anything but cry.

“Bella, mo stór, mo anam cara . Can we be an us again?”

I nod as I wrap my arms around his neck. “Yes,” I mumble through my tears. “A thousand times yes, Kilian. I can’t go on without you anymore.”

His lips touch mine in a soft kiss. And I know this right here is right. This man is what I need in my life. His body, his heart, his soul.

“I’m sorry,” I mutter against his lips.

I can feel him smile against mine. “You were always stubborn when it came to me.”

“Never again, Kilian. Never again.”

“It will always be us, Bella. You, me, and Aria. Our family.”

“Our family,” I repeat his words as I crash my lips back to his.