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18

MIRABELLA

I laugh as Aria throws flour into my hair. We are making cupcakes for a fundraiser for her football club. “You know the flour is supposed to go into the batter not all over the kitchen.”

“But it’s fun to see you covered in it.”

“It’s fun to see me in it. What about you?” I tease.

She looks at me curiously before I blow a handful of flour right in her face. “Mom,” she shrieks as she runs around the island with me chasing her.

“You brought this on yourself, Aria.”

“Noooo!” She giggles as I chase her. I grab her around the waist and smear frosting across her face. “Ewww!”

I laugh as she tries to wipe the frosting off her face but ends up smearing it all over the place. “You should go take a shower. I’ll finish frosting these cupcakes so you can take them to practice today.”

“What about the ones we are keeping?”

“I’ll let you frost those tonight. You need to get a move on. We have to leave in forty-five minutes.”

She runs up the stairs and I turn back to the mess in the kitchen. There is flour and batter everywhere. She really wanted to help with the cupcakes, so I let her do most of the work. I start to move the cooled cupcakes to the individual containers and frost them with a simple buttercream, then throw some sprinkles and a football ball decoration on top.

By the time the last batch is done, I have no time to clean up. I figure I can do it later. So I grab Aria’s football bag out of the closet and make sure all her things are inside.

She comes pounding down the stairs. She definitely ate too much sugar before practice. “Did you get all the cupcakes packed? Tina was just asking me if we made them all.”

I point to the four bags of cupcakes near the door. “All ready to go. Can you grab the fold-up cart out of the laundry room?”

She nods and skips to the back of the house to grab it. I use the mirror by the front door to wipe excess flour off my face and shirt. I should change but I don’t want her to be late.

“Ready!” she yells as she slides back into the living room.

“You don’t look ready. Grab your coat and shoes. I’ll load these up,” I tell her as I grab the cart from her hands.

By the time I have them all loaded outside, Aria jumps down the steps to meet me. “I bet we will have the best cupcakes. Tina made cookies. Blah, who is going to want cookies when there are cupcakes?”

“I’m sure some people will want to buy the cookies.”

“Are we going to stay for the whole bake sale today?”

“We’ll see how tired you are.” After practice, all the local sports teams are hosting a small carnival with games, food, and rides. But I can already tell after her two-hour practice she will be whiny and tired.

We walk the four blocks to the park and see the carnival already in full swing across from the practice field.

“I wish we could go to the carnival now!”

“Hey, no whining. You have practice and then you can have fun.”

“No fair,” she pouts.

“Don’t even start with me, Aria. You know football is your priority.” I tell her as I wave at some of the parents. “Besides, all your friends on the team will be here anyway. Then you all get to go over together and have fun. It wouldn’t be any fun if you were there without them.”

She kicks her foot around in the grass. “I guess.”

I kneel down in front of her. “What’s wrong? You are always so excited to play.”

She shakes her head. “It’s nothing.”

“Really? Well, you better tell me later or no cupcakes tonight.”

“Okay, Mom.”

I run my finger through her ponytail and then stand. “Go get ’em, tiger.”

She smiles at me then runs off to join her team. I drop the cupcakes off with the team mom and then head out to the market.

It’s the beginning of April and the outdoor weekend market is just starting. It’s my favorite thing to do on the weekends. I walk the one block over to where the market starts and buy some fresh vegetables and fruits. I am looking through the beautiful floral bouquets when a man bumps into my shoulder.

“Excuse you!” I yell as he continues walking briskly down the street.

I turn back around and a hard chest is right in front of me. “Excuse me,” I say as I try to move around the man. I go to move out of his way until his cologne hits me. The smell of cedarwood and spice. I look up to see Kilian smiling down at me. A pair of aviator sunglasses over his eyes and a baseball cap on his head.

“What are you doing here?” I ask as I pull him farther into the tent behind a huge display of flowers.

“I can’t get that weekend out of my head.”

“You can’t be here,” I say as I look around to see if any of Giancarlo’s men are around.

His hand comes to my cheek and pulls me to look at him. “It’s fine. I made sure of it.”

“You know we can’t do this,” I plead, dropping my gaze to his T-shirt-clad chest. I didn’t even know my hand was gripping his shirt.

“We can find a way, Bella. You know we can.”

I look back up at him. “You’re delusional. We’ll both end up with bullets in our heads.”

“Meet me later.”

“I can’t.” I try to pull away but he grips my arm.

He pulls his sunglasses off and looks at me with intense eyes. “Please, Bella, I need you right now.”

I see the sorrow in his face, the pain haunting his eyes. And I can’t tell him no. Especially because my heart is beating so fast. Being around him does something to me and I, too, remember our nights in Malta like they were yesterday, not nearly a month ago. “Tomorrow,” I concede.

He smiles that smile that is so rare and I can feel my heart falling for him all over again with just one damn look. Shit, this isn’t good.

His hand goes to my hair. “You have flour in your hair.”

I reach up to touch my head but he pushes my hand away as he brushes the flour out and blows cool air onto my head. “Aria and I were making cupcakes.”

His smile drops and I know it’s because just talking about her hurts him. If only he knew the truth. If only I wasn’t scared to tell him. My chest aches thinking about the memories I have made with her and how he should have been there for them all.

He shoves something into my hand. “I’ll text you.”

I look down and find a burner phone in my hand and when I look back up, he’s gone.

* * *

The rest of the day went by in a blur. I felt dazed the whole time thinking about Kilian. Luckily, Aria didn’t seem to notice as we spent a few hours at the carnival. And whatever was bothering her earlier seemed to pass.

By the time I lay in bed I am burned out. And it’s not just because of baking and shopping, and football and the carnival. It’s because my mind is centered around Kilian. Granted, it has been for the last three weeks but after running into him in the market, it’s worse. Like my mind was running a marathon and I feel brain dead. Then I remember the burner phone in my purse. I scramble out of bed so fast I nearly fall out as I get twisted in the blankets. I run down the stairs and grab the phone out of a zippered pocket in my purse where I stashed it earlier. I look down at the phone.

Six new messages.

I bite my lip, beyond curious what Kilian sent me. But I wait until I am back in my bed before unlocking the phone.

Unknown number: I miss you.

Unknown number: More than you know.

Unknown number: I don’t know why it hurts to miss you more now when it’s only been weeks compared to those ten years apart.

Unknown number: I cannot wait to ravish your body tomorrow. To make you scream my name so many times your voice is hoarse the next day.

Unknown number: But what I really wish is that my head was buried between your thighs right now as you sat on my face. Your hips grinding into me as my tongue works you to the brink of orgasm. Your knuckles white from gripping the headboard so hard. Your head thrown back in ecstasy.

Unknown number: But I know that pretty cunt of yours won’t come until I shove my fingers up that tight ass of yours. Working both your holes and biting your clit until you fall apart on my face.

I flush as I read the messages. The one thing I’ve always loved about Kilian is that he was never shy of dirty talk. He always knew exactly what to say to turn me on. To bring me to the precipice every damn time.

We’ve never done this before though. Back in Dublin we never had each other’s phone numbers. I just waited for him to show up at the bar. That’s when I knew he was in town. To have a way to communicate with him now feels different. It feels like more. And that is something we shouldn’t have.

I hesitate. Worried that I am making a mistake by texting him back. But then I think about those nights in Malta. Where I felt like I was twenty years old again. Young and in love.

Fuck, I cannot be in love with Kilian.

Not again.

I set the phone on my nightstand and stare at the ceiling. What the hell am I supposed to do? Ignore him? I know he will just come looking for me if I don’t say anything.

I grab the phone off the nightstand and hold my thumbs over the screen to text but my nerves get the best of me and I shove it under my pillow.

Stop, Bella, don’t do this.

But the fact I just called myself by the name only he calls me has me digging that damn phone out again. My fingers glide across the screen and hover over the send button. Everything about this is wrong. I shouldn’t be doing this. But I hit send before I can chicken out.

Bella: And what would you do to me after?

I bite my lip after I hit send. He sent me those messages hours ago. So who knows how long it will take for him to respond.

I drop the phone to my chest, my heart rate picking up, excited about Kilian’s answer. It doesn’t take long for me to feel the vibration on my chest.

Unknown number: I would lick up every last ounce of your cum then flip you over and tie you to the bed.

My body heats up as I read his message.

Bella: Then what?

Unknown number: I would lick every inch of your body until you were squirming and begging for me to fuck you.

Bella: How would you fuck me?

My hand slides under the sheets as I wait for his answer. My fingers gliding over the silk of my nightgown until I reach the lace of my underwear.

Unknown number: I would spread your thighs so wide your back arches up from the pressure. Then I would bite down on those dark rosy nipples of yours I love so much while I shove three fingers deep inside of you.

Bella: Just your fingers?

Unknown number: I want to make sure that tight little cunt is ready for my cock. So I’ll pump you hard, getting you as wet as you were while I ate you out.

Bella: I’m wet just thinking about it.

I blink when I read the text I just sent. I was always a wild one in bed but I have never had phone sex. Never sent dirty texts to anyone in my life.

Unknown number: Are you touching yourself, doll?

I swallow hard as I glide my fingers along my clit.

Bella: Yes.

Unknown number: Good girl. My cock is so hard right now thinking of those long slender fingers of yours sliding into your juicy cunt.

Bella: Keep telling me how you would fuck me.

Unknown number: Once I have you begging for my dick I’ll pull my fingers out and slam into you so hard your head slams into the headboard. Then I’ll shove my fingers down your throat and make you lick them clean while I pound into you.

Bella: Don’t stop.

Unknown number: Fuck, Bella, what I wouldn’t give to have you in my arms right now.

My toes curl as I think about Kilian’s massive dick driving into me, stretching me. My fingers aren’t doing what he could do.

Unknown number: Just when I think you are ready to come I’ll pull out of you. I’ll unbind your hands and flip you over and bring you to your knees, your ass high in the air. I’ll tease that tight hole of yours with my wet dick and when you grow tired of begging me for my cock, I’ll pin your hands behind your back and press into that ass, stretching you inch by inch until you can’t take it anymore and your orgasm explodes out of you so that you feel it in every inch of your body.

My entire body is on fire as I press my fingers into my clit. I come all over my fingers as I think about him fucking my ass. I remember the first time we did it. I thought I would hate it. But he made it feel amazing. I felt closer to him than I ever had before. And I miss that connection with him. Us knowing each other on the deepest, basest level.

Unknown number: I wish I could see your face right now.

Bella: You know what my face looks like right now.

Unknown number: It doesn’t mean I still don’t want to see it.

Bella: I’ve never come on my hand so hard.

Unknown number: You should be coming all over my dick.

Bella: Tomorrow.

Unknown number: Tomorrow.

Unknown number: I’ll text you.

I smile into my pillow as I think about seeing Kilian tomorrow. I type his name into the phone and shut it off as I curl up into my bed. My body still tingling from the aftermath of my orgasm.

* * *

I’m woken up the next morning by Aria jumping on my bed.

“Mom, get up! It’s pancake day!”

I groan as I roll over and toss the blankets over my head. “It’s too early.”

“It’s eight thirty!”

“Ugh,” I moan into the pillow. “Why are you up so early?”

“I want to work on my science project before practice so that way I can just bake cupcakes with Magda tonight.”

She keeps jumping on the bed and I swear she is going to make me throw up from the movement. I peel the covers off my face and when she isn’t looking, I pull her down and attack her with tickles.

“Mom, stop!” She giggles.

“This is your punishment for jumping on the bed! Remember what I told you?”

She squeals as she squirms underneath me. “No jumping on the bed or I may fall off and break my head!”

“That’s right,” I say with a smile as I pull away from her. I slide off the bed and she shifts up with the goofiest smile on her face. “You make sure all your practice clothes are clean and packed and I’ll make breakfast. Then we can work on your science project.”

“Okay,” she says with excitement as she sprints toward the door.

“What kind of pancakes do you want?”

She taps her finger against her lips. “Lemon mascarpone!”

I roll my eyes. “Of course you do.”

She starts to run down the stairs and I shout after her, “No running down the stairs with your socks on!”

I run to the bathroom and freshen up, tying a robe around my body. I check the burner phone for any texts from Kilian but there are none. I contemplate texting good morning but decide against it. That sounds too normal and I have no idea what the hell we are.

I head into the kitchen and start pulling all the ingredients out for pancakes. They are Aria’s favorite. But I only let her eat them on Sundays. It’s our little tradition.

As I pour batter onto the griddle I hear her dragging her practice bag down the stairs behind her. I shake my head. I have told her so many times to carry it but she never does.

I catch a glimpse of dark hair skip past the kitchen as she puts her bag by the front door.

The alarm chimes that the door is open and I am ready to grab a knife and run for Aria but then I see her skipping into the kitchen with a brown box tied with raw cord in her hand.

“I found this outside,” she says as she sets it on the island. “It has your name on it.”

I immediately think it’s from Dante with whatever stupid instructions he has for me. I have no intention of playing that game with him. He can fuck himself for all I care. I know he won’t touch Aria. It’s just an empty threat.

“Why don’t you go get your science stuff ready so we can work on it after breakfast? Pancakes will be done in ten minutes.”

“Okay,” she singsongs as she runs back up to her room.

I eye the package on the island. Wary of opening it.

I flip the pancakes on the griddle and grab the mascarpone out of the refrigerator. But my eyes keep flitting back over to the box.

What could they possibly be sending me in a box?

Maybe it’s not from Dante.

I set the mascarpone down. And pull the pancakes off the griddle before pouring another batch on. My curiosity gets the best of me and I drag the box toward me.

I pull the cord off and open the top. A handwritten note sits on top with my name on it. I open it to find a familiar script.

Wear this tonight.

I smile when I realize it’s from Kilian. I pull back the tissue paper and find a beautiful red silk dress. It’s simple but I know it will hug every one of my curves. Beneath it sits another note.

For the panties I ruined.

I laugh as I find three silk thongs in the box, all black, all the same. Another note sits underneath it.

I thought I would buy a few because I am sure to destroy these too.

I smile as I shove everything back into the box and run it upstairs before Aria sees what’s inside.

I flip the pancakes and send a text to Magda confirming that she is still okay with watching Aria tonight.

She lets me know she is and then tries to pry out details from me. I only told her yesterday that I had a date and of course, she wants a full dossier on the man taking me out. I lied and told her I hit it off with a man I ran into at the market. Which is kind of true.

I know it’s a risk seeing Kilian tonight. But I trust him. I know he will take every precaution to make sure no one sees us.

I pull the last of the pancakes off the griddle and shout for Aria to come downstairs. We eat at the island, indulging in lemon mascarpone pancakes. And then I help her with her project.

* * *

I run my hands down the side of the red dress. Kilian knew exactly what would look killer on me. The dress hits at my knees to keep it modest in length but that’s where the modesty ends. It’s tight around my hips and ass and the plunging neckline accentuates my girls.

I paired it with a pair of black stilettos, a drop diamond necklace that used to be my mom’s and set my hair in loose curls over my shoulder. I swipe my red lipstick over my lips and head downstairs.

“Mommy, you look so pretty!” Aria shouts as I walk into the living room where she is watching television.

“Thanks, baby girl.”

Magda whistles as she walks out of the kitchen, a towel in her hands. “You look gorgeous and sexy as hell. Where is this mystery man taking you? You must be going somewhere special.”

I really have no idea. I assume he is sending a car to pick me up and take me to some hotel where he will either fuck me in this dress or rip it off me. Hopefully both.

“It’s a surprise,” I lie to Magda.

“How romantic,” she sighs. “He better come to the door if he is a gentleman. And I want to meet him.”

“Magda, stop. It’s nothing. A first date.”

“Chivalry, my dear. Besides if you dress like that for a first date, he must be important.”

More than you know.

“I just wanted to look nice. It’s been a while since I went on a date.”

“Mmhmm,” Magda says, giving me a look like she can see right through me.

I grab a leather jacket and wrap it around my shoulders. “Don’t give me that look.”

“You are the one with the look on your face,” she chastises. “Looks a lot like the same look you had when you came back from Malta.”

“You mean relaxed?” I ask as I grab my clutch and switch a few things from my purse.

“No. In love.”

I freeze at her words and wonder if my feelings are that transparent. If Magda can see it then surely Dante or Giancarlo will notice something is going on with me.

“Mama, are you in love?” Aria asks as she quits paying attention to her television show and kneels on the couch to look at me.

I shake my head at her. “Nope. Just a date.”

Magda shoots me another look.

“Magda, please stop. There are no fairy tales here. It’s a date.”

I really should have hired a teenager to babysit so I didn’t get the third degree from Magda. I look at my phone and see it’s just about five when Kilian told me to be ready. I wait for a text to let me know my ride is here when I hear a knock at the door.

Shit.

He can’t really be stupid enough to come to the door and pick me up.

Magda brushes past me and opens the door before I can stop her. A man stands there I don’t recognize.

“Hello, I am here on behalf of Mr. Oliver to pick up Ms. Di Masio,” the man says. I smirk at the name Oliver.

Magda throws a glance my way and I shrug.

I give Aria a kiss on the cheek and head to the door. “I’ll be back by eleven,” I tell Magda as I pass.

“Mira.” The authority in her voice is enough to make me stop on the threshold of the door. “Enjoy your night. But be safe.”

She has a look in her eye, almost like a warning. I just nod and follow the man to the waiting Bentley outside.

He holds the door open for me and I thank him as I slide into the luxury car. I half expect Kilian to be inside, the windows tinted so dark no one would know he was in here, but he isn’t.

I settle into the soft leather seat and watch the town pass as we drive along the coastline. The driver lets me know we are headed just outside Palermo. I sit quietly in the car for the forty-five-minute drive. My stomach is in knots and my heart is beating a million beats a second.

I didn’t realize until now that this is the first time I have ever been on a date with Kilian. Besides dinner at the hotel in Malta but I don’t count that. This is the first time I’ve dressed up with the intention of meeting him for a date. I’m thirty-one years old, you think I would be able to handle this but a swarm of butterflies has taken over my stomach.

They only get worse when we pull up to a marina. The driver stops next to a pier then gets out and opens the door for me.

“This way.” He gestures and I follow him down the dock.

We get to a boat lit up with Edison lights on the deck and I see Kilian standing in one of his classic three-piece bespoke suits waiting for me.

“Enjoy your evening, Ms. Di Masio,” the driver tells me before walking away.

Kilian takes my hand as I step onto the small yacht. “Good evening, Ms. Di Masio,” he says into my neck as he wraps his arms around my waist. “You smell divine and you look gorgeous.”

I blush as he pulls his face from my neck, his hands squeezing my ass. “But maybe I should have bought you a different dress because all I want to do is take you to bed and fuck you.”

I pat his cheek as I step out of his embrace. “You’ll need to feed me first.” He makes a face that tells me exactly what he is thinking of feeding me. “Real food, Kil.”

He presses a kiss to my cheek. “Of course.”

I sit on a bench and slip my heels off before taking Kilian’s hand as he guides me to a small sitting area near the front of the boat. A bottle of Redbreast sits on the table with two glasses.

He sits down on the small sofa and I cuddle into his side. Needing to be as close to this man as possible with whatever time we can steal with each other. My stomach is still full of butterflies as we sit in silence. The boat starts to move as we move out to sea. Kilian pours us each a glass of whiskey. Then he sits back on the couch, his arm wrapped around my shoulder.

“I know this isn’t a date like at a restaurant. But I wanted to give you something more than I’ve ever given you,” he says softly into the air.

I look up at him. “Kilian, this is perfect.”

“I didn’t want to risk anything. And the weather is nice enough for a sunset dinner.”

“I appreciate it all.”

He looks down at me. “You’re nervous.”

Wow, maybe I am transparent. I swallow down my glass of whiskey and set it on the table. “This is the first time we’ve ever done this. Like a real date. I’m just… I don’t… I’m scared…” I trail off not able to find the right words.

Kilian sets his glass down on the table and pulls me closer to him. “It’s just us, Bella. You and me. I wanted to take you out so many times back in Dublin but I knew you didn’t want that. You were young and carefree. You wanted that freedom that anyone your age would want. And I was fine with our relationship the way it was.”

“You know I wasn’t as carefree as you thought.”

He looks down at me, humor etched on his face. “I didn’t know you were a mob daughter at the time.”

I laugh. “True.” I pause as I take in the beauty of the sea in front of us, the way the sunlight dances across the water. “I wanted more with you back then but I was too scared to admit it to myself much less you. And I was hiding such a big secret from you and I knew there was nothing I could do. There was no way we could be…”

“Like this?” he asks, finishing my sentence.

I nod. “We always understood each other on the deepest level. But I knew I could never let you into my heart.”

“What about now?” he asks me.

I take a deep breath to admit the truth I wish I’d told him ten years ago. “I think I let you into my heart back then and you never left. When I disappeared, I left you with a piece of my heart I never thought I would get back, but now that I am with you, I feel like this is right. Us. Together.”

“Is that why you are nervous?”

I shrug. That and the fact I still haven’t told you Aria is your daughter.

“It’s just us, Bella. Don’t be nervous.” I nod before he continues. “And just so you know, I think you’ve always had a piece of my heart too.”

“ Anam cara ,” I say softly.

“Forever,” he answers.

We spend the rest of the night enjoying ourselves in a way we never let ourselves before. Pretending we are a real couple, laughing, dancing, enjoying the freedom that comes on a boat in the middle of the Mediterranean. We don’t think about our families or the reasons we could never be together. It is just the two of us, dancing under starlight.