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KILIAN

S he moans as she eats a bite of steak.

“You know if you keep that up someone might recognize those noises.”

She grins at me. “Wouldn’t that be an interesting conversation?”

I chuckle before taking a bite of my fish.

“You really worked up my appetite.”

I raise a brow at her. “I did all the work.”

“Semantics.”

I shake my head at her and take a sip of whiskey. “I really am sorry, Bella. I never should have been mad with you about your daughter. I had no right to be.”

I see something pass through her eyes. Regret. Sadness, maybe.

“Don’t. Kilian, please…” She pauses. “Not tonight. Not her.”

I study her and wonder why she doesn’t want to talk about her. I let the feeling pass as we continue on with our dinner. Once again, it’s like old times with her. Laughing and joking around. It makes me sad that so many years have passed. So many things we have both missed out on. I don’t care about our families. This woman in front of me has understood me better than anyone ever has. I guess I let her see a part of my soul that I never let anyone else see. And now she knows it all. And she isn’t running away. She’s running her fingers over my hand that rests on the table.

My anam cara .

My soul friend.

She always laughed at me when I said that before. She thought I was trying to impress her with my Irish. I didn’t know that she was studying languages at school. Didn’t know that she knew exactly what that word meant. I recovered by telling her I only try to impress her with my dick. That led to an eye roll and her drinking expensive whiskey all night while she worked. Although, she did end up in my bed that night. Her mouth wrapped tight around my impressive cock.

“What are you thinking about?” she asks me.

I grab her hand in mine and squeeze it. “You don’t want to know.”

“I think I do,” she says as she straightens up in her chair.

I smirk at her and lick my bottom lip. “I was just thinking about your lips wrapped—”

“I cannot believe someone had sex down there while we were eating dinner. Do you know how hard it was to explain to the kids what that noise was?” Bella and I both break out in laughter as the woman at the table next to us talks to what I can only guess is a manager.

“Absolutely terrible,” Bella snorts.

“Dreadful,” I chime in.

The woman turns to us with a scowl on her face. “You might think it’s funny but it was highly inappropriate.”

“Sounds like it needed to be you down there. You seem a little uptight,” Bella retorts.

I throw my head back in laughter and even hear a small laugh coming from the manager. The woman turns bright red.

“How dare you—”

“Ma’am,” the manager interrupts. “How about we talk about this in my office? I am sure I can find a few ways to make your accommodations for the rest of your stay better.”

I turn to Bella once they walk away and the manager apologizes to us. “You are a dirty, dirty woman.”

She swallows back the rest of her whiskey. “I just know when to open my mouth.”

I smirk at her. “That you do, doll.”

After I charge dinner to my room, we head back to hers. I hold her hand the entire walk to the elevators and it feels normal. Like something every human does. I don’t even remember us doing this back when we were fucking. Not on the walks back to my townhome together. Or any time in the bar. Even when what we had turned into more than fucking. This is something entirely new.

When the doors open, I press my hand to her back as I guide her in. When the doors close, I press her against the wall. My hand cupping her jaw, my eyes mesmerized by hers. “You are special, Bella.”

She shrugs.

“Just so you know, I compared every woman I slept with to you. Every single one. And no one compared. I swear it. I was searching for you. Trying to find someone that gave me what you did. But I never found anyone. All I could ever think about was you.” I drop my gaze to her lips before raising it back up to meet her eyes. “All I’ve ever wanted was you.”

She leans forward and presses her lips to mine in the gentlest kiss. I want to intensify it but the doors open and we are on her floor. She smiles at me as she pulls away then grabs my hand as we walk to her room.

Once we’re inside, she stops in the middle of the floor and turns to me. “There has never been anyone else but you to me. I compared every man to you. Every single one. And none of them lived up to you. Even after all these years. I held on to the hope that I would find you one day. I wasn’t a part of my family. I didn’t have the resources. Because of Aria, I couldn’t just hop on a plane when I saw in some tabloid where you were in Monaco or Paris or the Algarve. And then you were dead and I lost all hope. I knew I would never find another man like you.”

I pull her into me, kissing her with reverence. This woman will be the death of me. But that is the one death I will accept.

* * *

After fucking each other’s brains out, we lay spent on the bed. Her hand circling the tattoos on my chest, her leg wrapped around mine, my hand resting on her ass.

“Did you ever want to be with The Partners?” she asks me out of nowhere.

I am quiet for a few minutes. Unsure of how to answer. Normally I wouldn’t let anyone in on my feelings but this is Mirabella, my Bella, the only one I would let see my ghosts and demons. “I did when I was young. I wanted the wealth and power. Hell, I didn’t know how deep my father was involved with The Partners until seven years ago. I thought he was just like everyone else. But he wasn’t.” I contemplate how much to tell her. How many secrets I could possibly give away in one night. “My father is a cruel man. He had my life written out for me by the time I was twenty-two. He knew I would never marry, never have kids, never settle down. Both my brothers were in serious relationships. He knew they couldn’t take over the darker side of the family business.”

Her fingers still on my chest. “Your—your family runs The Partners?”

I run my fingers through her hair. “The Partners are an intricate business. No one knows who runs them. They work on levels. So many hoping to get to the top, get greater cuts in the business. But it’s something that rarely ever happens. I didn’t know my father was a Partner until my best friend’s brother died. Until I saw the lack of empathy and emotion my father had for anyone or anything other than money. Most days I don’t think he even cares about me. He just wants the Bancroft name at the table. A legacy seat. Like my grandfather and my great grandfather.”

“Does anyone else know this?” she asks me hesitantly, her chin resting on my chest as she looks into my eyes.

I shake my head. “I could get killed for letting you know that.”

“I could get killed for telling you anything about my family too.”

I squeeze her ass. “Then I guess we’re even.”

“I guess so,” she says with a shy smile.

“My brothers know and my mother. The only other people are those at the table. And I only found out who they were when my death was faked. When I sold my soul to them and my father.”

“Why? Why did you fake your death?”

“My father found it as a way to intimidate potential businessmen. Companies that buy into us, that filter our money, that ship our drugs and weapons. If they know the price someone like me, the son of a prominent businessman in the world’s largest investment firm, paid for failing them then there is no way they would say no to The Partners or turn their backs on them. I was a bargaining chip my father groomed me for. I played into his hands to free my friends from the despair and destruction of their family.”

“You risked everything to save someone else.”

I nod. “Bastian, my good friend, his brother would have been killed for screwing The Partners over. Bastian had gotten out, one of the few who had, but he turned himself in to save his brother and the woman he loved. I couldn’t let him lose everything for something I dragged him into to begin with. So I gave my life to them. And I’ve been paying for it every day since.”

She crawls up the bed and straddles me, grasping my cheeks with both her hands. “Most men wouldn’t sacrifice their lives for others. In my family, they kill to keep secrets, even their own family. You are an honorable man, Kilian.”

I shake my head. “I’m not. I got them involved—”

“We all make poor decisions. We all do things we regret. But if we find a way to redeem ourselves then that cancels out the bad we did.”

I brush a loose piece of hair out of her face. “You are something else, Bella.”

“I’m just a girl running from her own life.”

I shake my head. “No, you are a woman living the life you always wanted.”

A sad smile crosses her face. “Almost.” I want to ask her what she means by that but then she asks another question. “So what about now? Do you want out? Can you get out? What do you want for your future?”

I chuckle. “That’s a lot of questions.”

“I’m a curious woman.”

I sigh, letting myself be completely honest with her. “I don’t know. Parts of me want it. Want the power. Other parts wish I could live a different life.”

“I’m not one to judge you if you want to lead a criminal organization.”

I smile at her. “You are probably the only woman who would say that.”

She smiles at me and my heart clenches. “What is the different life you want?”

“I met this woman once who made me question things, made me think there was more out there than the life I was born into. I thought maybe we could have it all. But then she disappeared and I couldn’t help but wonder if there was something better out there.”

A blush hits her cheeks. “Must have been a pretty special woman.”

I pull her up onto my chest so we are face to face. “She is.”

A tear falls from her dark eyes. “But you know it can’t—”

“Shh,” I say, cutting her off. “Let’s just be us while we can.”

A sad smile crosses her lips. “Okay.”

“Do you have to leave tomorrow?”

She nods. “Aria is with a friend and I need to go home.”

“Can that friend watch her another night?”

“Kilian…” She trails off but her answer is written all over her face.

I should know I can’t compete with her daughter but I try anyway. “Please give me one more day, Bella. It’s been ten years since I’ve felt this way. Please just give me one more night. I need one more night with you.”

She bites her lip but then presses those lush lips to mine. When she pulls back, I’m surprised by her answer. “Okay.”