Page 23 of Redeemed Wolf (Grim Wilds #4)

Chapter 23

Silas

It was late by the time we’d put the town back to rights. I invited everyone to stay the night in Overlands, and they readily agreed. They were exhausted, and the pups were all fine to stay with Joe and Jesse in the city for one more night. We could’ve found other beds for them to use, in spare rooms or even Samson’s now-vacant cabin, but we all felt a need to stay close to each other. Nobody wanted to be spread out around town. Instead, without asking, they all opted to stay with me. I offered up my old room in the back, but even that was too much distance for them right now.

They all shifted into wolves (and one panther) and bedded down right there in the middle of the living room floor in a pile of fur and lolling tongues. Morgan, the only human, lay against Jude, digging his fingers into his fur with a relieved sigh.

If I thought three was a crowd, this was next-level intrusive. I grabbed Carter’s hand and dragged him to my bedroom, shutting them out. Then I turned my attention to my mate. “Arms up,” I said, grabbing the hem of his shirt and peeling the torn fabric off. I’d get him something clean to wear if I didn’t insist on having him naked in my bed.

Stripped down, I crawled under the blanket and dragged Carter flush against me. Fatigue pulled me down quickly, but just before I drifted off, I heard Carter whisper, “What did Shan mean about not letting Vesta’s sacrifice go to waste? He looked at you like he meant something.”

I traced idle patterns over his skin with my fingertips, my eyelids too heavy to keep open. “Our packs haven’t always seen eye to eye. But Vesta… she was the link between us. Without her, it would be too easy for a rift to form, for our differences to lead to disputes. Shan wants to make a pact.”

“Does that mean we’re staying in Overlands?” he asked.

I wasn’t sure how to answer that yet.

We returned to Grim Wilds the next day to put Vesta to rest. With everyone from Overlands that came to pay their respects, as well as a few from the nearby packs of Bowser and Dusk Fall, there was hardly room to move in the clearing. In the center, we’d built a pyre to cremate Vesta’s body.

Joe and Jesse had brought the pups back, and as soon as I’d seen Pax, I realized he already knew she was gone. In fact, he’d probably known it was going to happen long before it did. I thought back to their tearful goodbye. The child was destined to be our next shaman, though he was nowhere near ready. He’d been born with the sight, and Vesta had done what she could to train him, but from here on out, the poor kid would be learning on his own. It broke my heart. At least he had support from his pack. I knew they’d watch out for him.

There wasn’t a dry eye in the place as Tristan stepped forward with a torch. Vesta’s body was lovingly wrapped in muslin, a bundle of wildflowers the pups had picked laid over her breast.

Tristan paused, head bowed. “Vesta was the heart and soul of these woods,” he said, his voice ragged. “She helped deliver nearly everyone here. She offered advice, whether we wanted it or not, and healing even when we didn’t know what was wrong. She was our grandmother, in love if not in blood. But before she belonged to us, she belonged to her mate. To her children and grandchildren. And today, we will return her to them, with thanks for letting us keep her for so long.”

I could feel his reluctance, his regret, as he lowered the torch to the base of the pyre. It was never easy to say goodbye one last time, but there was no other option. We could not turn back time. The flames leapt up, licking the wood and catching the muslin on fire. Tristan returned to his family’s side, and Dylan and Pax held him tight, offering each other what comfort they could.

No one spoke over the sound of crackling flames. Carter hadn’t known her well, but he cried right along with the rest of us, bearing the burden of grief. As the wood turned to ash, Vesta’s body returning to the earth, the crowd began to thin. Until all that remained were the Grim Wilds pack.

And me.

Carter gave my hand a squeeze and stepped back, letting me have a moment alone.

Tristan approached me slowly, coming to stand by my side. Shoulder to shoulder. I didn’t think we’d ever gone this long without insulting each other before.

He sighed. “All right, fine. You can be in the pack,” Tristan said, drying his cheeks. “But you can’t be Beta. I’m Beta. You’re not even in line for Beta. In fact, you’re last in line. Even behind the pups.” I caught his sad smile from the corner of my eye. I appreciated the offer more than he would ever know.

This was what I’d wanted. It was the reason I’d gone to Fairhome in the first place, what I’d put my life at risk for. But… now that it had been offered, it just didn’t feel right anymore.

“You know, I’ve been thinking,” I said, keeping my eyes fixed on the dying coals, my emotions guarded. “Maybe I wasn’t the best Alpha for my pack, but I think I can do better.”

Shan came over, and his proud smile made me feel warm. It was like feeling the sun on my face. “I’m really glad to hear you say that, Silas, because I wouldn’t want anyone else to be in charge. You’re the right man for the job.”

“I wasn’t always,” I said. It was a hard thing to admit, but it was the first step to becoming something more.

He shrugged. “Maybe not, but we all have to start somewhere. You have to grow into a role like Alpha. And now… you’ve earned it.” Shan hooked an arm around my neck and gave me a little hug.

“Thank you,” I whispered, getting a little choked up. “For giving me the chance.” It had been a big day for emotions, and I’d just about hit my limit.

“I always knew you had it in you.”

Tristan scoffed. “I didn’t. You were an asshole, and I hated your guts.”

His honesty made me laugh. “Back at you.” Then I surprised us both by dragging him in for a tight hug. After a moment, he brought his arms up and hugged me back.

“Alright, alright. That’s enough of the touchy-feely garbage. I don’t want my mate complaining that I stink like you.” Tristan shoved me back, but not before I saw him wipe away a fresh tear.

It was a night to spend with family, to keep our loved ones close, so that was what we did. While Shan and Tristan went back to their cabins to hug their mates and children, I followed the length of the mating link from where it was tethered inside me to the other end. I found Carter standing at the back edge of the clearing, staring into the woods.

“What are you doing back here?” I asked.

He rubbed his hands nervously on his pants then turned to look at me, and his eyes were a startling green-gold. His wolf was staring back at me. “I… I think I want to run. I mean, shift and run. Uh, let my wolf run?” He chuckled awkwardly. “Sorry, I don’t know how to phrase it. I’m kinda new at the whole half-animal thing.”

Smiling, I drew him into my arms and kissed the side of his head. “You don’t have to apologize. It’s hard to put words to something you haven’t experienced yet. You won’t be the one running, but your wolf won’t do it alone, either.” He frowned, giving me a confused look. “You’ll see.”

It was a beautiful night for a run. The moon had risen full and bright against a clear backdrop of stars. I reached for Carter’s dress shirt and began to thread the buttons through the holes, baring his chest one inch at a time. Every time my fingertips brushed his skin, he shivered. He stood still and let me undress him, and when I tugged his pants down, I saw that he was all kinds of excited.

I undressed, hyperaware of Carter’s heated gaze following my every move. I tossed my clothes next to his in the grass. They would no doubt be damp by the time we got back, but I didn’t mind. I doubted we would be needing clothes tonight. I brushed his erection gently, making him gasp. “There’ll be time for that later. But first… you’ll have to catch me.”

“What?”

I gave him a quick wink then let my wolf take over. The stretch of muscle, the pop of bone, was almost painful after so long. It had been months since I’d given up full control to him. He was eager to stretch his legs, but we only jogged a few yards, stopping just inside the tree line. We looked back at Carter who was still standing there, gazing at us in wonder.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered.

In reply, we ran back to him with a light hop and yipped. It was an invitation for his wolf to come out and play.

“Okay…” Carter looked down at his hands, then sighed. “Here goes nothing.” He closed his eyes, and at first, nothing happened. I wondered if he would be able to shift without some coaxing, but then he gasped and fell to his knees, bracing himself with his hands on the ground. He arched his back and tipped his head to the sky, and his brief cry of surprise was cut off as a wolf’s howl echoed into the night.

His shift was slower than mine, not a practiced thing, but joints shifted, sinew tugging into place, fur and teeth and claws. Until at last, Carter’s wolf stood strong before us. His wolf looked almost as surprised as Carter.

Ears perked, nose working, his wolf turned to look at me and gave a bark loud enough to startle himself. His head whipped around, almost as if expecting to see another wolf beside him who’d made the sound.

We let our tongue hang out, pulling a silly face, and lowered our chest, ass in the air, tail wagging. It was a sign we wanted to play.

Carter’s wolf made to follow, his steps almost a little clumsy at first. This was, after all, like a baby’s first steps. He figured it out quickly, though, and leaped forward all at once, taking a playful snap of his teeth. The sound that came out of him was undeniably laughter.

Without warning, we turned and bolted into the trees, stopping only once to make sure he was following. He was right on our tail, so with a burst of speed, we took off.

It was the most fun I’d ever had in my life. He chased us, then we chased him. With each step, our claws dug into the moist earth, releasing the scents of the forest. It was loam and moss, moisture and life. It was green and blue, brown and silver.

When Carter’s wolf caught the trail of a deer, he veered off to hunt. We kept back and watched, but he wasn’t hunting out of necessity. This, too, was a form of play. He was too loud in his tracking, not patient enough, and when the deer was startled out of the bushes, he didn’t bother giving chase. He simply turned back and barked at us, as though saying, “ Did you see? Did you see what we found? ”

We led him back to the small lake, and he ran straight in, splashing in childlike joy. Once he drank his fill, he ran back to us, fur dripping, and licked at our muzzle. He was ready to shift back.

I shifted first, then knelt in front of him, stroking his coarse fur. “Whenever you’re ready, you just need to ask your wolf’s permission to come back. You share this body, this heart, this mind. It’s a partnership, and you must respect each other.”

His wolf gave me one last lick before he bowed his head and focused inward, the two of them having a conversation. Then slowly, gently, Carter took his skin back. His eyes were bright, cheeks flushed.

“Wow. Just… wow,” he gushed, grappling with my shoulders as I pulled him up. His legs were wobbly, so I kept a hold of him in case he lost his footing. “How did I not know?” he asked. “How was I so oblivious to this whole other piece of me, of my soul!” He seemed to grow a little horrified by that fact as he came to grips with everything that had just happened. “All this time, I thought I was alone, and he… he was just…” His expression turned desperate, and he clawed at his chest, so I took his hand and held it.

“Shh, it’s okay. Nothing that you went through was your fault, Carter. You couldn’t have known. Eric made sure of it.” He buried his face into my chest, his tears dampening my skin. I simply held him, whispering words of comfort and love, until he calmed down.

“I’m just scared. What kind of dad will I be, if that’s what I grew up with?” he asked, peeking up at me.

“You’re going to be the best dad,” I said without a single bit of doubt. “Patient and kind, smart enough to provide an answer every time they ask you, ‘why?’” I gave him a gentle smile, feeling his words too acutely. “What kind of dad will I be?” I asked in turn. “When my own father was abusive, my Alpha more of the same. It wasn’t until I met Shan that I found someone worth looking up to.”

“You will always protect our child, care for them, make them feel loved and cherished, just like you have me.” He reached up to cup my face, tipping up his chin to kiss me. “You know what? I think we’re both going to be amazing, not because of who raised us but because we survived it and still managed to find ourselves in the end.”

“Do you want to go for a swim?” I asked.

He looked over the beautiful setting, the shimmering lake, moths aglow in the moonlight. “You know, I think I’m ready to go home.”

“To Grim Wilds?” I asked.

“For tonight maybe, but you’re my home, Silas. I’ll go wherever you go.” He smiled and took my hand, interlacing our fingers. “And I have a feeling you’re needed back at Overlands.”

I laughed because he knew me too well. “I think you might be right.”

We shifted one last time to run home, but this time, there was no playful wrestling, no games. We had somewhere more important to be. We had a date with a bed.