Page 12 of Redeemed Wolf (Grim Wilds #4)

Chapter 12

Carter

I waited outside the lab, anxiously pacing, my shoes grinding the pavement on each pivot, before heading back for another pass. My insides were stretched to their breaking point. All afternoon, I’d been second-guessing my actions. I’d thought I was being bold by goading him into asking me out, but had I actually forced him into it? Maybe he’d never asked because he wasn’t really interested in me that way, but then I’d cornered him. Was he just being polite?

Stomach churning, I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to ignore the whispered commands flitting through my mind. Silas. Mate. Shift. Claim . I was seriously rethinking the decision to stop the meds. I reached into my pocket, fingering the pill bottle I’d stashed there. I could take one, I could make the voice stop… but the mere thought of it made my stomach clench, nausea roiling.

Whining, I let go of the bottle, dismissing the thought—for now.

Another minute passed, but it felt more like an hour. I should’ve gotten Silas’s phone number. Then I could’ve just gone home and waited for his text like a normal person, instead of stalking him outside work. I was going to scare him away, and it would serve me right. He was charming and sexy, clearly more experienced than I was, seeing as I had none. I was also his boss’s son.

Oh shit, what if he only asked me out because he thought I would get him fired otherwise?

Moaning, I gripped the sides of my skull as the noise got too loud, blaring and echoing and folding back on itself until I couldn’t possibly take another second of it. Gods, it… hurts…

But then the building’s front door opened and Silas stepped through, and everything came to a screeching halt. The doubt, the anxiety, the noise, it all just… poof . Disappeared. I sagged in relief as the tension evaporated.

I wasn’t even aware that I was searching out his scent until I had filled my lungs with it, holding it there as if I could somehow keep a piece of him inside me forever. And then his gaze came straight to me, as if he knew I was here and he was searching for me too.

His steps were hurried, not quite a jog, but eager nonetheless. “Hey,” he said, his smile almost shy as he approached me. “I realized too late that I never got your number. I was starting to worry about how I would get a hold of you.”

“I guess you would’ve just had to wait another day for our date.”

His pupils seemed to dilate, swallowing the iris until they were almost black. “I didn’t want to wait another day,” he said, his voice deepening until it was almost a purr.

The corner of my mouth hitched, and his eyes focused on the action. “Me neither. Which is why I’m waiting for you.”

“Well, then. Let’s remedy this little problem right now.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, unlocking it and passing it to me to enter my number into his contacts. Then I sent myself a text so that I would have his.

He peeked at his phone to see what I’d sent. “‘We haven’t even had dinner yet, and already I don’t want the night to end,’” he read, and hearing my words from his mouth made me feel so incredibly vulnerable. Was it too late to take them back? He looked back up at me, his smile blinding. “How did you know what I was thinking?”

I laughed, reaching for him before I’d even made the conscious decision to do it. I suddenly found his chest beneath my palm, warm and firm, and I blushed, stumbling back a step. “Sorry! I didn’t mean to—”

His hand snapped out and hooked into a beltloop, dragging me back until only a few inches separated us. “Well, then mean it next time,” he rasped.

His breath ghosted over my lips, and for one blissful second, I thought for sure I was about to experience my first kiss, but just as my eyes drifted shut, I felt him step back, a gust of cool air rushing to fill the space between us. I blinked owlishly, confused by the quick shift in temperature.

Silas glanced up at the security camera mounted on the corner of the building, pointed in our general direction, then over his shoulder toward the guard station at the gate. “Maybe we should save that for dessert,” he said, smirking playfully.

“I plan on holding you to that.”

He stepped back, retreating toward his car. My body was somehow reaching toward him, like a tether was dragging me after him, but I anchored my feet to the ground. “I’ll text you directions to the restaurant and meet you there.”

“Or I can just follow you.” He nodded, and I forcibly turned toward my own vehicle. Of course we needed to drive separately. It wasn’t like I was going home with him tonight. Was I? The thought put down roots in my mind, sprouting and blooming while I followed him out of the lot and down the highway. His chest had felt so solid through his shirt, and I had a pretty good imagination about what it might look like underneath. Would his freckles extend all the way down?

I swallowed hard, the seatbelt constrictive over my chest—and my lap. Fuck. I was about to show up to dinner with a boner, and he hadn’t even kissed me yet.

He pulled into a lot ahead, and I followed, parking beside him. My palms were damp with sweat on the steering wheel, and it took me three tries to unbuckle my seatbelt.

When I opened my car door, he was already there waiting for me, a strange look on his face. “Hey, maybe leave your phone in your car. I’m not bringing mine either. That way we won’t have any distractions.”

I smiled softly. “That’s really sweet, I like that. Okay.” I reached back and tossed my phone in the console.

The air was filled with so many rich scents—garlic and cheese and fresh herbs—and I wondered why I’d never noticed how amazing food smelled. I came alive under the woven tapestry of aromas. As we headed through the lot to the door, his knuckles brushed against mine, and it felt intentional. I hooked a finger around his, and even that small point of contact seemed to sizzle with an electric current. He glanced over at me, an unspoken promise in his gaze. The night was far from over.

The host seated us at an intimate table for two in the back corner of the Italian restaurant. The place wasn’t super fancy, but it had white tablecloths and low lighting, and I didn’t need it to be anything more. He didn’t need to wine and dine me; I’d already decided I was his for as long as he’d have me. I’d been having a hard time focusing at work, for just those few hours before and after lunch. It was so sudden and intense that it frightened me, but no matter how many times I told myself to be careful, not to trust these new emotions, I couldn’t seem to slow down. I didn’t want to.

We sat quietly, trading sly glances over the tops of the menus. I felt… giddy. Excited. For the first time in my life, I understood what people meant when they tried to describe love. How had I ever thought he was just some guy, and not the most gorgeous man I’d ever met? When I thought back to when I first laid eyes on him, it was almost like I’d been seeing him through a foggy haze. Now, though, I was seeing every detail in HD.

“Do you know what you want?” Silas asked.

“Huh?” I almost told him exactly what I wanted, until I registered the waiter standing by the table, ready to take our order. “Oh… sorry, I wasn’t really paying attention to what I was reading,” I admitted.

Silas smirked. “I know the feeling. Two of the special, whatever it is?” he suggested, and I nodded, laughing. The waiter shook his head with a knowing smile and left us alone.

We sipped our waters as we waited for the food. We didn’t speak much, but it wasn’t awkward, and I didn’t feel the need to fill the silence like I might’ve with anyone else. There was just something about him that set my soul at ease.

The food arrived, but I barely noticed what it was. Some kind of pasta with a cream sauce. There might’ve been mushrooms? It didn’t matter, not when every bite seemed to be laced with Silas’s scent.

Silas’s gaze skimmed my face, and he seemed to be debating how to say something. “You don’t look much like your dad…”

“No, I wouldn’t. I’m adopted.”

“How old were you?”

“Really little, barely a toddler.”

“Really?” He frowned in confusion for some reason. “What was growing up with him like?” He leaned in, listening intently to my answer.

I shrugged. “I’m not really sure. I don’t remember much. I was… sick a lot.” I set my fork down, sighing. “Sorry, I know this is a little somber for first-date conversation.”

“No, it’s fine. I want to know everything about you, so it makes no difference if you want to tell me today, tomorrow, or next year. The first-date etiquette rules don’t apply.”

My heart gave a little bu-bump in my chest. As hard as it was to believe, I trusted him, and I wanted to share everything with him, especially the hard stuff. “Okay… Well, I was really sick as a kid. We’re talking strange fevers and bone-shattering pain with no apparent cause, but my dad… he worked for years on a cure for me. It’s a big part of why he’s studying genetics in the first place. I don’t remember much about those years, beyond pain so severe I couldn’t see straight. I couldn’t eat, sleep, and my dad had to keep my arms restrained so I didn’t hurt myself trying to claw my way out of my skin.”

“He tied you down?” Silas had stopped eating, his face set in a mask of intense emotion. Sadness, frustration, anger? I couldn’t identify it, but I wanted desperately to soothe him, so I reached across the table and took his hand, tracing my thumb over his knuckles, clenched tight around his fork.

“Don’t worry, I’m okay now. I wouldn’t be where I am without my dad. I’m so grateful for the chance at life he gave me. Not many people would’ve gone through all that for a child that wasn’t even theirs by blood.” He just kept staring at me, his eyes a little glassy, his throat working hard to swallow. “Are you okay? Did I say something wrong?”

He blew out a breath and placed his free hand over mine. “No. Never. You’re perfect, Carter. Just the way you are. You hear me? You are strong, brave, smart, and so damn beautiful. There is nothing wrong with you, not one single thing.”

His words hit their mark, dead center, and I felt them all the way through. My father, as much as he’d done for me, had never said that before. He was constantly hovering over me, waiting with his tests and pills as if expecting me to break, but here was this virtual stranger, who looked at me and didn’t see some weak, helpless man. He saw me how I wished I could see myself.

And the way he looked at me as he brought my hand to his lips, I could almost believe it.

“Thank you,” I whispered raggedly, my vision going a little blurry. I wiped at my eyes before any tears could fall, cursing my wildly fluctuating emotions. I could only assume it was the meds working their way out of my system, some hormonal reaction. I felt a little overwarm, too.

I pulled my hand back and sniffed, wiping under my eyes with my napkin. “Now,” I said, aiming to lighten the mood. “If we could please stop talking about my health and my father on this date, that would be great. Tell me more about you.”

Laughing, Silas thankfully turned to lighter topics, though I found him evasive when it came to talking about his past. I could tell he loved his omega mother, Kristen, though there was a shadow of grief coming off that I swore I could almost taste, and he danced aside of any mention of his alpha father. There was obviously some lingering tension there. I wasn’t about to pry, and I didn’t blame him for keeping his personal life to himself, but it also felt a bit like a step back from how intense our conversation had been when talking about me. I was disappointed he didn’t trust me enough to share his own story.

Instead, we talked about TV shows and books, food and music. It was just as well we didn’t discuss anything too serious, because I wasn’t sure if I could focus entirely on what he was saying, not once his foot made contact with mine under the table. I didn’t pull away, and neither did he. And then he slid his leg between mine, decisively, without even a hitch in his voice as he told me about this action movie he’d watched last night. There was a delicious tingle of friction as our calves brushed, our knees bumping, and as innocent as this bit of contact was, it lit me up inside. I was cursing the distance this table forced between us—hell, I was cursing our clothes . I swore I could feel each thread of my pants as the fabric chafed across my skin.

My mouth flooded with saliva as I watched the drag of his tongue over his bottom lip, catching a bit of sauce at the corner of his mouth. Sweat started to bead along my hairline. We needed to get the hell out of here. Now .

I had spent the better part of the past 20 minutes pushing food around my plate, not able to eat more than a few bites. It wasn’t that I wasn’t hungry—because seriously, I was ravenous—but it seemed that my appetite was for something else, and he wasn’t on the menu.

When the waiter returned to clear plates, I was grateful to shove the plate and cutlery in his direction. “Can I offer you something from the dessert menu?” he asked, and I groaned in frustration.

Silas met my heated glance, smirking, and for one drawn-out second, I thought he was going to say yes just to torture me. “No, I think we’re done. Thank you,” he said without looking away from me. “Just the check.” He pulled out his wallet and passed over a card.

“Oh, you don’t have to—” I began, reaching for my own wallet, fully intending to pay for my half, but Silas wasn’t hearing it.

“I invited you for dinner. That makes it my treat.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “I’m pretty sure I forced you into it.”

He chuckled, shaking his head. “Trust me, you did no such thing. I don’t do anything I don’t want to do. Ever.”

I huffed. Was this a macho alpha pride thing? I wasn’t sure how much the guards at the lab were being paid, but it couldn’t be as much as I made. I was about to argue that point, when Silas said, “If you’re really so eager to pay me back, you could always invite me out for dinner next time.”

“Next time…?” I asked, trying to bite down on my smile. “You want to see me again?”

“If I had it my way, I would never stop seeing you, all day, every day, from morning to night and back again.”

That tingling warmth that had been spreading slowly through me went full-bloom, all the way to the tips of my toes, tingling like I’d had too much to drink, though my glass of wine had barely been touched.

“O-Okay,” I stuttered, reaching under the small table to brush my fingers over his knee and as far up his inner thigh as I could reach. “I want that too. Especially the night part.” I reveled in the corresponding blush that crawled up his neck, turning his pale skin a gorgeous pink.

When I squeezed his thigh, his knee jerked, bumping the table and setting the wine in our glasses sloshing. “We need to go,” he said with a gravelly rasp. “Right. Now.” And when he shoved back from the table and stood, it became very clear why he needed to leave. I couldn’t look away from the outline of his erection through his pants.

The waiter was back with his card, and Silas grabbed it with one hand, me with the other, before quickly steering us through the tables and out the front door. It had begun to get dark while we were inside, but the cool evening air did nothing to relieve my flushed cheeks. Sweat dampened my shirt, the fabric clinging.

We arrived back at our cars in the lot, but before I could ask if this was where we said good night, Silas had dragged me into him and shoved me up against my car. He pressed his entire body into me, making me hyper aware of every single inch of him—hard and hot and oh so ready—and no matter how much pressure he put on me, it wasn’t anywhere near enough. I needed him, all of him. “Silas, I—”

He cut me off, his lips crashing down on mine with near violent force. I could taste his desperation, his need, as he licked through my mouth. I grabbed him wherever I could get a grip, likely tearing his shirt, until I carded my fingers into his short hair to bring him even closer, as if I might be able to swallow him whole.

For the first time in my life, I felt wanted, needed. My body’s response was terrifying. Slick was freely trickling from my hole, and I had no doubt my pants would soon be soaked with it. I whimpered, grinding my cock against his, but I felt like I was trying to scratch an itch on the inside of my body, impossible to reach.

But I’d be willing to bet Silas could reach it…

“Come home with me,” I panted, wrapping a leg over his hip so I could ride his muscular thigh.

He reached down and grabbed my ass, growling when he found how wet I was. The sound reminded me of some kind of feral dog, vibrating through me, but instead of fear, I felt the most unimaginable power, that I was the one who could drive him this mad.

“Do you live far? My apartment’s just down the street. Please,” he panted, his fingers kneading and flexing on my ass. “I’m willing to beg… on my knees…” There was no missing the inuendo, especially the way he sucked on my tongue.

All of my father’s warnings rattled around in my head. Don’t talk to strangers, don’t get into a car with anyone you don’t know. But Silas wasn’t a stranger, I reasoned. He was my other half.

“Okay,” I gasped, nodding fervently. “But hurry.”

Silas pressed a button on his key fob to unlock the doors to his car, then he hooked his arm around my waist and bodily lifted me into his car, closed the door, and ran around to the driver’s side at full speed.

He sped out of that parking lot with squealing tires, the scent of burning rubber lingering in the air. I laughed shakily as I watched him adjust himself in his pants with a wince, which had him laughing too. We laughed all the way down the block to his apartment building, until we came to a screeching halt in his parking space. Then the laughter died as the reality came crashing down.

I swallowed hard, my throat tight, as I looked across the car at Silas. Was I really about to lose my virginity tonight?

Hell yeah, I was.