Page 15 of Redeemed Wolf (Grim Wilds #4)

Chapter 15

Silas

Where the fuck is he?

I was standing outside beside my car, waiting. Carter had been avoiding me all day. I knew he was here, I’d seen him. After he hadn’t answered my texts, I’d found an excuse to head down the hall past the lab, to confirm with my own eyes that he was alive and well. His shoulders had gone stiff like he’d known I was there but refused to even look at me. It was no surprise when he didn’t show up for lunch; at that point I’d been expecting to be stood up. The question was… why?

Was what we’d done so bad? I’d helped him through his first heat, shown him every care. I’d been tender and mindful of his needs, provided everything he’d asked for. And between sessions, I’d cleaned him gently with a warm cloth, brought him food and water. I’d shown him more respect than I’d offered anyone in my life.

I clenched my fists hard enough that my knuckles cracked. Dammit, I was fucking pissed at Carter. I wanted to grab him by the shoulders and give him a shake, demand that he open his damn eyes and see me for what I was to him, see everything we could be. If he didn’t want me, then he would have to tell me to my face. I just couldn’t believe he would turn away from our future! But more than that… I was terrified. What would Eric do if he found out we slept together? That we were mates?

Would he hurt Carter? Would he kill him? The possibility lanced itself through my chest like an icy spear.

Right when I was about to say fuck it and head back inside to tear the place apart to find him, consequences be damned, the door opened and out stumbled Carter. He was staring down at the pavement, not even looking up when I called his name.

He had to know I was here, but he didn’t even look my way. His movements were slow, sluggish, his feet dragging. “Carter!” I called again, stepping closer.

Carter seemed to have to fight to get his chin up, squinting as he tried to focus on me. His pupils were blown wide, and he blinked a few times, lost in a confused daze. “Silas? You’re…” He frowned, losing track of whatever he’d been about to say.

My nose scrunched up as his scent wafted off him. It was sour, nothing like the sweet aroma I’d breathed in just last night.

“Oh, baby, what happened to you?” I moaned miserably, reaching for him.

I’d half expected that he wouldn’t want me to touch him, after the way he’d run from my bed this morning, followed by a full day of avoidance. But instead of pulling away, he practically fell into me, clinging to my shirt. I wrapped my arms around him, doing my best to hold him upright, but his legs barely seemed capable of holding his weight.

“I can’t smell you anymore,” he mumbled, his lips moving against my throat as he took deep breaths, searching for something his body was no longer capable of finding.

“Carter? Hey, baby, listen to me,” I said firmly, pulling him back so I could get a look into his eyes. “Did you take something? Did your dad give you something? Pills or an injection?”

“Mm,” he grunted, frowning as he struggled to think. “Yeah, pills. Always pills… They make me feel bad.”

“I know, sweetheart.” I looked around to see if anyone else was watching. There was nothing I could do about the cameras now. I couldn’t leave him like this. “Come with me, okay? I need to get you home.”

“My home or yours?” He looked up at me with this dreamy expression.

I cupped his cheek, stroking my thumb over his pale, clammy skin. “Whichever one you want.”

He sighed, his eyes drifting shut as he leaned heavily on me. “I want to be wherever you are.”

That sounded just fine to me. I started walking us toward where I’d parked my car, his shoes making a scraping sound against the pavement with each step.

“But… what about my car?” he asked, looking around. He made a weak attempt to pull away, but with my arm around his waist to help him walk, he soon gave up.

“There’s no way you can drive like this. It’s worse than drunk driving.”

“Okay.” That was the last word he said, and he got progressively heavier in my arms, almost like he was falling asleep standing up.

I was glad he trusted me to take care of him, but fury simmered in my veins. How could Eric do this? Was it all in the name of his “science”? Was he looking for a way to suppress Carter’s wolf?

It took some juggling to get the door open and to lower Carter into the passenger seat. I buckled him in and leaned the seat back a bit, his head lolling on the headrest.

On the way out of the gate, Greg leaned down to look in the window. His face was pinched. “Is that Dr. Taylor’s son?”

I took a deep bracing breath. “Yeah. He’s too sick to drive. I’m gonna take him home.”

Greg speared me with a strange look and lowered his voice as he asked, “Are you sure that’s a good idea? You don’t want to get messed up in all that.”

The steering wheel creaked dangerously beneath my clenched fists. “I can’t do nothing, Greg!” I snapped. “Don’t you think we’ve all turned a blind eye for too long? Any word from Melissa?” It was a low blow, and I knew it.

Greg flinched at the gut shot and pushed off from the car. “Fine. Do what you want, but don’t blame me when it blows up in your face. If Dr. Taylor asks, I’ll tell him.”

“Be my guest,” I snapped.

I drove off, heading straight for home. I didn’t know the first thing about what was wrong with Carter, but he needed me, and there was no way in hell I was going to turn my back on my mate. What kind of alpha would that make me?

My mind drifted back to my pack at home. They didn’t need or want me to lead them, but Grim Wilds needed me. Jude and Amelia and Isaac… and Carter, they needed me.

Pacey must’ve heard me coming down the hall, because he opened the apartment door for me, standing back so I could carry Carter through. “Pacey, I’m gonna need you to run to the store for me. Lots of fresh meat and vegetables,” I instructed. It was a flimsy plan at best, but when I thought of caring and providing for my mate, I thought of feeding him.

“Yeah, sure. What else?” he asked, already slipping on his boots.

I paused, looking back over my shoulder at him. “And maybe call home. See if Grandma has any suggestions about what could be wrong with him.” Grandma was our code word for Vesta, the pack’s shaman. If anyone could help Carter, it was her.

While Pacey ran to the store for me, I carried Carter into the bathroom and got a bath started. He stirred at the sound of the tub filling. “What are you…” he tried to ask.

“I’m taking care of you,” I murmured, brushing his sweaty hair back from his forehead. “You’re going to have a bath, okay?”

He nodded obediently and sat still while I peeled his clothes off, one article at a time. His shirt clung to him, the fabric damp. I’d never seen a shifter sweat quite like this before. It was almost like his body was going through a detox, trying to purge whatever he’d been pumped full of.

My wolf whined in my head, prowling back and forth, helpless to do anything but begging me to try anyway.

“Up we go,” I whispered, lifting him gently and lowering him into the tub. He flinched as if the water burned him, but then his teeth began to chatter. “Carter?”

“It’s… so cold,” he stammered, though I could see the steam rising off the water’s surface.

I added some hot water, as much as I dared, but he couldn’t seem to stop shaking. “To hell with this,” I growled before climbing into the tub with him, clothes and all. Water spilled over the edge, slopping across the floor, but as soon as I moved in behind him, with my legs bracketing him tightly in the narrow tub, my arms around him, he seemed to relax.

He blew out a long sigh, turning his head to press his face to my neck. “I’m sorry,” he whispered raggedly. “I didn’t know…”

“Didn’t know what?” I asked, running my fingers through his hair.

“He said the pills would make me feel better, but I was never sick. Really, I was just scared.”

Pressing a kiss to his temple, I savored the way his breathing slowed to match mine. “What were you scared of, baby?”

“I was scared of how much I needed you. I shouldn’t need you…” A sob broke out, and he tried to turn away from me, but I wasn’t about to let him go.

“You want to know what I think?” I asked, wrapping my arms tightly over his bare chest. He nodded wordlessly. “I think that you’ve been surviving on your own for so long. You have been stronger than anyone I’ve ever met to get through it all, and even if I weren’t here, you would still make it through. That doesn’t sound like you need me at all. Wouldn’t you agree?”

He stilled, trying to think that through.

“You might not need me, Carter, just like I don’t need you, but it’s okay to want each other. I’ve been all alone for so long, and for the first time, I think I’m ready to let someone in. I want to let you in.”

“You do?” He peeked up at me, and while his eyes still looked glazed, he seemed a bit more coherent.

“I really do.” I kissed his forehead softly, raking my fingers through his hair. “Once we get this shit out of your system, we need to have a talk, okay?”

“About what?”

“About who you are, who I am. About where we go from here.” More importantly, we needed to talk about who his so-called father was and what he’d been up to, but I had no idea where to begin. This was going to destroy his world as he knew it, and I didn’t want him to hate me for it.

When I heard Pacey come back from the store, his familiar heavy tread making its way to the kitchen to unpack the groceries, I used my foot to unplug the drain. Carter and I sat in the tub as the water receded, our bodies slowly being reclaimed by gravity.

Leaving my soaked clothes in the tub, I grabbed a towel from under the sink to wrap around Carter’s shoulder, then threw a few more onto the floor to soak up some of the mess. “My downstairs neighbors are not going to be pleased,” I muttered under my breath. I wondered if the Grim Wilds bank account had enough to cover water damage.

I tucked Carter into my bed, my beast pleased to have him wrapped in our scent. “I’ll be right back. You get some rest.” He nodded, sighing as his eyes fluttered closed, then I snuck out, closing the door behind me.

Pacey was staring at his phone, eyebrows pulled low, where he’d brought up a recipe for chicken soup. When he picked up the knife and started hacking at the onion, I decided I couldn’t stand to watch the massacre.

“What the hell did that onion ever do to you?” I asked, cringing. I plucked the knife from his hand and nudged him out of the way. “It’s okay, I’ve got this.” I got started with the onions, grateful that the knife he’d bought was sharp at least.

The skills came back to me easily, but the memories of my mother did not. They left my insides feeling scraped raw as I repeated the actions she’d taught me as a pup.

“ Watch your fingers. Just because you can heal, that doesn’t mean you can grow back the tip of your finger ,” she’d said, booping my nose and making me giggle.

“Did you call home?” I asked to distract myself from the memories, all too aware of Pacey watching me, a strange mix of confusion and awe coming off him.

“Huh? Oh, yeah, Grandma was sleeping, but they said she’d get back to me. Hey, where’d you learn to do that?”

For a second, I debated not telling him. My memories were private, I’d never really spoken about my parents to anyone. Talking about them felt like taking a knife to myself and reopening those scabbed-over wounds. But Pacey was gazing at me with such an earnest expression that I found my hard edges softening. “My mom did. Since my dad wasn’t around so often, she mostly raised me herself, and working in the kitchen was what she knew best. So…” I gestured down at the neatly diced onion. “She told me that I would be able to use these skills one day to provide for my mate.”

The Overlands habit of letting the omegas care for the alphas had never sat right with me. It went against all my instincts, but I’d never felt comfortable voicing that to the others. They would only tell me I was wrong.

“Huh.” Pacey watched as I heated oil in a pot and set the chicken in to brown, before starting on the other vegetables. “Maybe you could teach me sometime.”

My hand stilled, the knife hovering over the cutting board. “Maybe…”

Only a minute later, with him still hovering over me, I sighed and passed him the peeler. “Here, think you can peel the carrots?”

“Of course, thank you!”

I told myself I was letting him help because it would mean less work for me, and that it had nothing to do with the eager gleam in the burly man’s eyes as he followed my instructions. It wasn’t my job to teach new skills to others.