Page 17 of Redeemed Wolf (Grim Wilds #4)

Chapter 17

Silas

I wasn’t an idiot. I knew there was a good chance that Eric was having me followed—especially after I’d appeared on the security cameras putting his incapacitated son into my car—but I took whatever precautions I could. Our phones were back at the apartment, and I’d dressed us both in baggy clothes and pulled up the hoods on our sweatshirts, hopefully disguising us enough that someone might not recognize us at first glance.

I hoped it was worth the risk. Carter deserved to have answers. He was completely in the dark about his past, his family, about who he was at his very core. And while I knew there was a good chance that he wouldn’t believe me about anything I had to say, I had to try, because he would never leave with us if he didn’t know.

There was a shady park at the end of the block, and there was only a handful of people present. A small group of kids from the daycare climbing on the play structure, a man walking his dog. I led Carter by the hand over to a bench and sat down, drawing him as close to me as he could get without sitting in my lap.

Sighing, I debated how to start this conversation. “Carter, I… like you.” I grimaced, hating the way that word tasted in my mouth. “That’s an understatement, but I don’t want to scare you off.”

Carter leaned in and rested his chin on my shoulder, his breath ghosting over my cheek. “I’m not going anywhere,” he assured me. “You can tell me anything.”

I smiled sadly, feeling a small amount of relief, but he didn’t have the first clue about what I had to say. “You might change your mind before I’m done.” I braced myself, drawing strength from him, from the heat of his body along every inch we touched.

“I’ve never really talked to anybody about where I came from, about my past, but I need you to know it’s not that I don’t trust you. I do. It’s just… my dad, he… he was a mean son of a bitch. He was hardly ever home, but when he was, I’d wish he wasn’t. He’d knock me and my mom around, and in the town I grew up in, that kind of behavior was considered acceptable. Hell, it was applauded, and he was determined that I should grow up to be just like him, even if he had to beat it into me.”

Carter rubbed his hand up and down my arm, offering his silent comfort, allowing me to get it all out.

“One night when I was a teenager, he went too far and my mom…” I couldn’t say the words, as if not saying it would mean she were still alive. “And then after, he took his own life.” I felt cheated that he hadn’t let me have the honors.

“Oh, Silas, I’m so sorry,” he whispered, shaking his head, his face a mask of anguish. “I didn’t mean to push you to tell me. I had no right to—”

“No, it’s okay. It’s important that you know why I’m like this. I am careful about who I let in, I keep my emotions close to my chest. And I’m not a kid anymore. If someone tried to hurt those I love, I would do whatever it took to protect them. Anything . You understand?”

“Of course I do.”

Closing my eyes, I thought out each word before I said them. “I think there’s more going on at the lab than you think.”

I felt Carter stiffen next to me, and when he didn’t say anything, I opened my eyes and found him frowning up at me. “What are you talking about? What does this have to do with your past?”

“What do you think they’re studying there?” I asked.

“We’ve been working on a cure for the virus I’m infected with, so I don’t have to take any temporary treatments anymore.” I was already shaking my head, and his eyes followed the movement. “We’re not?”

I sighed, digging my fingers into my thighs. I watched the kids playing a game of tag, their squealing laughter soothing the jagged edges of my shredded nerves. “I don’t expect you to take my word over your father’s, and it wouldn’t be fair of me to put you in that position. All I’m asking is for you to take a step back and think things through for yourself. Think about why you’re being asked to work with the DNA from different species . Where do you think he’s getting these samples from, and what does that have to do with what’s supposedly making you sick?”

His frown deepened. “What do you mean supposedly? I remember the pain so vividly, and I know it stopped when my dad started giving me medication for it.”

“But do you remember the cause of the pain?” I asked, coaxing him to dig deeper into his memories.

“Well, no, but… my dad said it was from the virus overwhelming my immune system. It was more than my body could handle.” He huffed, and I could sense that he was teetering on the edge of being overwhelmed. It wasn’t my goal to chase him off. I couldn’t just give him all the answers; I needed him to come to the right conclusions himself.

“Carter, I’m asking you to follow your instincts, because nobody knows what you need more than you do. I have a feeling that they’ve been suppressed for so long that you don’t even trust your own feelings anymore. Am I right?”

“I—” His jaw clicked shut when he realized he couldn’t refute what I was suggesting. I’d seen the internal struggle every time his wolf had urged for something his human half deemed irrational. His wolf was in there somewhere—I just needed to find a way to get Carter to let him out, to accept who he was in his core.

“I think you know that the drugs he’s been giving you are what’s making you sick. They’re not good for you, and he is relying on the trust you have for him to keep taking the drugs. I just want you to feel better. Will you give me a few days? Please? I want you to try the herbs to help clear it out of your system, and if it doesn’t help, then you can go back to whatever medication he wants to give you next.”

It was torture to wait as he mulled it all over, but I sat as patiently as my wolf would allow, letting Carter think things through. I’d seen firsthand as an Alpha how people responded to being told what to do, what to think, what to be. So instead, we sat in silence. We sat on the bench long enough to watch the kids get picked up by their parents one by one, long enough that the sun dipped low behind the building, the air taking on a new chill that hadn’t been there while deep in the summer months. Fall was on our doorstep, and it felt like time was running out.

It was too early for him to know one way or the other, but I could scent the barest hint of a shift in hormones. Maybe it was just the drugs working their way out of his system. Or just maybe… Carter was pregnant.

I’d never let myself dream of being a father before, probably because my own father had been such a waste of space. It wasn’t like I had a great role model to look up to. My mother, though… she’d been love personified, her light snuffed out too soon. If I could be half the parent she was, I thought I’d be okay. And Carter, well… he would make the most amazing dad.

As long as he was okay with the truth of who he was.

Finally, Carter took a deep, shuddering breath then sat up, leaving the side of my body cold where he’d been pressed to me. He blinked a few times, looking around dazedly, as though just realizing how late it was. “Silas, will you take me home?” he asked softly, standing up.

“Of course.” I shoved down the regret and disappointment that he wanted to leave me, but I would respect his decision, even as every single cell in my body ached to stay near him. It was too much— I was too much for him. I started walking toward the apartment. “Let me just run in and get my keys.”

He stopped walking, and when I turned back to look at him, he was frowning. “What? No, not my house. I meant home with you. You’re my home.”

Hope soared inside me, and I nearly burst into tears. “Really? I thought you might be mad at me, that I was more effort than I was worth.” My chin dipped to my chest, feeling more vulnerable than I had in my life.

“I’m not mad, not even a little.” He stepped into my side and slipped his hand into mine, squeezing tight. “You said to listen to my instincts, and every single one of them says that you’re worth any effort. That you’re mine.”

One traitorous tear slipped free, rolling down my cheek, and Carter reached up to brush it away with his thumb.

“Does that mean you’ll give me a few days before you go back on the drugs?” I held my breath, waiting on the answer. Vesta’s herbs were safe for his pregnancy, but there was no guarantee on whatever Eric was feeding him, and I sure as hell didn’t want the good doctor knowing about our child, either. There was no way to know what experiments he might perform on them.

“Yes, I think that’s a good idea,” Carter said. “I’m in no hurry for a repeat performance of how they made me feel. Now come on. Let’s go home—together—and you can make me some of that tea.”

That night, we made love. It wasn’t the frantic, desperate tearing of clothes and rough fucking like during his heat. This was softer, slower, and a thousand times more intense.

I knelt in the middle of the bed, cradling Carter in my arms, his legs wrapped tight around my waist. I took my time thrusting into him, watching him slowly fall apart, quivering with need. He was so beautiful like this, his skin glistening with sweat and slick, flushed and whimpering with his impending climax.

“Silas,” he cried, pleading as he clung to me. “I need… more. Faster, harder.”

I kept on with my agonizing pace. It wasn’t meant to torture him—or me, for that matter—but I just didn’t want it to end. I never wanted this feeling to end. I paused the roll of my hips, breathing him in. Clenching my eyes tight, I jumped straight off the precipice I found myself on. “Carter, I love you,” I said against his shoulder, allowing myself a taste of his skin.

His gasp was breathy, with the power to change my world. He leaned back in my arms and looked straight into my soul. “I love you too,” he said, before his full lips broke into a beaming smile. He brought his mouth down on mine hard, tongues and teeth clashing.

When I began to rock against him again, I was too lost to worry about delaying the inevitable peak. We were in love . I was his and he was mine, and that was all that mattered. I didn’t need to make this last because we would have a chance to do this again tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after that.

I tipped forward onto the mattress, pinning Carter beneath me, gliding deep inside his tight channel, finding that sweet spot that would make him see stars. The pitch of his whimpers grew desperate, his pleading mindless strings of curses. My knot began to form at the base of my cock, but clenching my jaw hard, I managed to hold off my orgasm until I felt him release between us.

“Silas, fuck !” he shouted, his legs clamping on my hips as he bowed off the bed with the force of it.

I thrust a final time, shuddering as I unloaded my seed inside him, and just as my knot expanded to fill every single bit of space inside him, I felt his teeth sink into my neck. The skin broke, blood dripping down over my chest. The slither of a half-formed bond snaked through me, searching for its other half and coming up short.

Oh. Fuck.

Mate, Carter, bite, claim. Ours.

My wolf saw this as permission to claim our mate, and for a split second, I considered giving in. I wasn’t thinking about all the reasons why I couldn’t—like how Carter didn’t know about shifters or the permanence of a bite.

But then he seemed to realize what he’d done, and he started to panic. “Oh shit! I’m so sorry! You’re bleeding, oh gods, I made you bleed. Why the hell did I bite you?!” He wiped frantically at the bite mark, smearing blood and making it look worse than it was, but how was he supposed to know that it would heal? When I propped myself above him and looked down, I saw my blood on his lips, and if I weren’t already knotted to him, that would’ve been enough to tip me over the edge. Fuck, it was such an erotic sight.

I growled deep in my chest and kissed him. He was shocked by my reaction, and when he gasped, I took full advantage, invading his mouth to taste my blood on his tongue. He moaned but then came to his senses and shoved me back. “No! Don’t kiss me. I hurt you!”

“Carter, didn’t I tell you to follow your instincts?”

“Well, yeah…”

“And was that what your instincts told you to do?” He sucked on his lower lip but nodded after a moment. “Then I’m glad you bit me.” I couldn’t help grinning, even though I knew this had just made everything a whole lot more complicated. I secretly loved the thought of him laying claim to me, even as a deep ache of longing and loneliness yawned open inside me.

I held and comforted him until my knot loosened and dislodged from him, my cum dripping from his hole, then I crawled out of bed to wash up, since the sight of my drying blood was clearly causing him some distress. I came back with a warm cloth and cleaned him up carefully.

“You’re not hurt?” he asked again, the corners of his eyes creasing in concern and guilt.

“Nope. The bleeding has already stopped. Barely a scratch. I don’t even need a band-aid.” Of course, he didn’t understand that I’d healed in under a minute.

He was particularly agitated, likely due to the incomplete bond, so I settled in beside him and wrapped my arms around him, whispering promises of love and forever in his ear. I waited until his breathing slowed and then evened out, before I carefully crept out of bed again, grabbing some clothes on my way to the living room. Plans began to take shape in my head, and we couldn’t afford to wait much longer.

Pacey had returned about half an hour ago, and he was lying on the couch, reading a new book. “Watch him,” I commanded, snatching his burner phone from the coffee table. “I’ll be back in ten.”

His dark eyes burned with curiosity, but he didn’t question my order. He set aside his book and sat up, alert and ready. I was surprised to find that I trusted him not just with my own life, but with my mate’s.

For the second time today, I pulled up my hood and jogged down the sidewalk to the park. The neighborhood was dark and quiet, and I saw no sign of being followed. I headed straight to the same bench I’d sat on hours ago, and I perked my ears, listening for anyone nearby, and when I was certain I was alone, I dialed the one person who could help me and held the phone to my ear.

“Yeah,” a gruff voice said in answer.

“Joe?” I asked.

“Silas, that you?” The older panther shifter sounded instantly ready for action. He knew if I was the one calling instead of my Beta that it was important. “What’s the news?”

“We’re going to need to move soon. Things around here are getting… tense. We’re about to hit a breaking point, and if we don’t act, we could lose it all.”

I could hear him breathing through the phone, and footsteps like he was walking. “Hang on, I’m getting Jesse.”

A moment later, Jesse’s voice came through, panic in the forefront. “What’s wrong? What’s happened to my children?”

“So far, they’re hanging in there,” I assured him, but I knew that most of what I had to say wouldn’t go over well. “Look, I’m sorry to have to tell you like this, but Carter is my mate.”

Jesse gasped, choking on a sob. “He is? That’s… that’s good, right? No one else will protect him like you will. Is he… is he okay?”

“Yes, for now, and hopefully, we’re close to getting them all out of there. Is Joe still there? I need to talk to him.”

The phone was passed back, and we got down to business. “Look, Carter doesn’t remember that he’s a wolf, but he will soon, and when he does, I can’t predict how he’ll react, but I have a feeling we don’t want to wait and find out.”

“Well, what do you have in mind?” Joe asked, his voice hardening. This was the man I needed. Not the father or the mate. I needed the mobster, the criminal with the right connections who didn’t mind getting his hands dirty.

“The way Dr. Taylor does his research, he times collecting samples around the full moon when our beasts are at the surface. But that also means—”

“That it’s when we’re at our strongest,” he finished the thought for me, already jumping on board my train of thought.

“Exactly. You and I need to find a way for us to sync up, so that you can provide a diversion at the same time I’ll be in the cell getting the sample. Something loud and preferably violent.”

He chuckled, the sound dark and full of promise. “Oh, I’m sure I can come up with something.”

“I know I can rely on you.” I was painting the image in my mind, trying to think ahead to Eric’s procedures. “Amelia’s smart, and they tend to bring non-lethal weapons into her cell, so it would be easier to get her out first, but Isaac is… well, he’s a powerhouse and he’s very, very angry.”

“You think he deserves a little payback?” he asked with malevolent glee.

“Oh, I know it.”

We spent the next few minutes going over plans, but in the end, it was more a matter of hitting them hard and fast and then getting the hell out of there. We couldn’t give them a chance to mobilize their defenses.

“Trust me, Silas. I’ve been collecting my own information on the lab and its employees, and I have a very reliable source. You take care of what you can on the inside and know that I’ve got your back. Whatever you need, it’s yours.” I took that to mean muscle and firepower.

It wasn’t in my nature to accept help from others. I’d stood alone for so long, been screwed over so many times, that it had never come naturally to me, but I was surprised to find that it felt kinda good to have people I could trust to watch out for me and mine. And then, to watch out for them in return.

This was what I’d always thought being pack Alpha would be like.