Page 2 of Redeemed Wolf (Grim Wilds #4)

Chapter 2

Silas

Neither of us spoke until we were out of hearing distance from the pups. It was warm enough that I didn’t mind the breeze on my bare skin, the gravel biting into the soles of my callused feet, but since I was the only one naked, I felt at a disadvantage. I couldn’t decide if this was a power move on his part. He didn’t strike me as the type.

“What are you doing here?” Shan asked after the silence had dragged on for what felt like an eternity. His gold-flecked eyes were focused on the distance. He didn’t sound angry, more curious.

I sighed. “Look, I know we might’ve gotten off on the wrong foot—”

“When you sold out your Alpha’s weakness to a rival pack,” he said simply, stating a fact.

“To save your life,” I snapped, quick to defend my actions. He raised a brow, his eyes darkening as he turned them on me, and I felt the judgment all the way to my core. It took everything in me not to lower my head. “Okay, fine, I might’ve had selfish reasons, but it all worked out in the end. Some people just need to die.”

He kicked a rock down the road ahead of us. “You might be right about that. There is unspeakable evil in this world, and while my father taught me to be kind and brave and noble, he never taught me how to rehabilitate a monster like Thorn.”

Shan looked at me then—truly saw me—and I witnessed a storm of emotions behind his calm gaze. “I don’t know what the outcome would’ve been if I hadn’t known about Thorn’s injury ahead of time. I imagine he could’ve killed me, taken my pack, my mate, my son, and you know my family is everything to me, so a part will always be grateful.” Shan’s steps slowed, until we were both standing still in the middle of the road. His sigh seemed to join the chorus from the birds in the trees. “But another part of me remembers how for years you sat back and watched as Thorn abused Brody, and you did nothing.”

I gritted my teeth, choking on the words I wanted to spit in his face. That I hadn’t sat back and done nothing, that I’d tried to fight back and set things right—and I’d failed . I could’ve tried a thousand times, but the truth was that I hadn’t been strong enough to take him on myself. But Shan already knew all that. He knew, and he was baiting me, waiting to see how I would react.

The rage washed over and through me, and Shan’s gaze dipped down to where my fists tightened at my sides. My face heated with what could only be described as shame. It was hard for me to admit my shortcomings. “I don’t know what you want from me. I could apologize,” I said eventually, “but it wouldn’t mean anything. They’re just empty words.”

He shrugged. “Doesn’t mean I don’t want to hear it.”

My chest tightened, squeezing the breath from my lungs. “For what it’s worth, I am sorry,” I said, staring down at my bare feet, curling my toes into the gravel. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d apologized for anything. Maybe to the ghost of my mother as I lay bleeding out on the forest floor after Thorn had torn me to shreds. “ I’m sorry I wasn’t enough… ” I’d whispered, my blood and tears soaking into the ground beneath me.

My scars itched, a constant reminder of my failure. As much as I wanted to tip my chin up in defiance, I fought the urge, keeping my eyes down. Shan had earned my deference, and if I were to join their pack, it was something I would have to get used to.

This is not the same , I reminded myself. Bowing to Shan is nothing like kneeling to Thorn .

“I’m going to ask you again… what are you doing here?” Shan’s voice took on a sharper edge, biting into me. “And not just today. I’d assumed once you got what you wanted that we’d never seen you again, but lately, you’ve been finding reasons to hang around.”

“You know why,” I mumbled through gritted teeth.

“I want to hear you say it.”

I sucked in a slow breath, forcing the tension from my limbs. When I finally looked up, I met Shan’s eyes, glowing gold with his wolf’s gaze. “I want to be a part of your pack.”

He stared into me for a long moment, and I did not blink even once. Until the gold seeped away, leaving his eyes a rich brown. “There, was that so hard to admit?” He patted my shoulder then turned and cut through the trees, pressing ferns back with his hand, which fell back into place behind him.

I stared after him, wondering what the hell just happened. Was I supposed to follow him? “Hey, Shan?” I called, but when he showed no sign of having heard me, I padded after him. The softer mossy ground was a relief on my feet, the air cool and damp beneath the canopy. “Shan, what does that mean?”

He came to a stop at the edge of the creek, allowing me to catch up to him. His mouth was set into a firm line. “I don’t trust you, Silas. You’re stubborn and brash, and quite frankly, you’re an asshole. And I don’t know if I will ever be able to trust you because I’m not sure you’ll be able to let go of being an Alpha.” My stomach clenched at his declaration, but he wasn’t done. “I’m telling you this because I don’t want you to think you’re wasting your time waiting around for that to change. You deserve my honesty.”

It was hard to hear, though I’d expected nothing less. I wasn’t new to mistrust. I nodded once. “I appreciate you being straight with me, but if it’s all the same to you, I’ll keep waiting.”

The corner of his lips twitched. “Fair enough.” He gestured his chin toward the crystal-clear water burbling over the rocks. On the grassy bank was a backpack. “Wash yourself up and help yourself to a change of clothes. Dinner’s in an hour.” Then he turned and headed back toward camp.

I suspect my jaw might’ve been gaping, but I was glad he wasn’t here to witness my shock. An invitation to dinner? That sounded like progress. “I’ll try not to be an asshole,” I called after him, but he had nothing to say in return.

In the bag I found a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, Tristan’s from the scent of them. I couldn’t imagine he’d given them up willingly. There was also a bar of soap. Grabbing it, I stepped off the bank into the flowing water, braced for the chill. The water ran a frothy pink as I washed off the blood, and I paid special attention to taming my red hair. I needed to make a good impression.

Missed a spot , my wolf nudged, bringing my attention to my shoulder where the flecks of blood had camouflaged with my freckles.

I withstood the cold for as long as I could, then stepping onto the bank, I shook as much of the water off as I could before pulling on the clothes. Without a towel, the clothes clung to my wet skin, and I finger-combed my hair back. My feet were still bare, but it was a sight better than before.

The whole process didn’t take longer than 15 minutes, though I was tempted to linger here. “Coward,” I said, closing my eyes in a long blink before I forced myself back to camp.

The aroma of roasting deer was already perfuming the air, and everyone was working together to prepare the meal. Even the kids. Mal was overseeing the table setting at the outdoor eating area. In the warmer months, this was where the pack tended to congregate, and I noticed with pride that there was an extra place setting for me.

Tristan stepped out from the kitchen with a large bowl of salad, and his lip curled with a low growl when he saw me standing here in his clothes. He slammed the bowl down in the center of the table, then turned to leave.

Before I could second-guess myself, I said, “What can I do to help?”

Tristan’s shoulders were tensed, almost like he was waiting for a fight, but he forced himself to look over his shoulder at me. “Come grab the plates.” He was obviously holding back a whole slew of swears, but his eyes flicked to the kids, and he must’ve decided that it would be better to set a good example for the pups.

I would take it.

Following behind him, I did whatever he asked of me. Back and forth, I carried stacks of plates, jugs of water, and heaping dishes of roasted vegetables, all while weaving around the pack members pointedly excluding me from their conversations. I was aware that it should’ve rankled, but there was something… familiar about it all that soothed my rough edges.

When at last the meat was cooked and everyone had gathered around the table on the cut-stump stools, the younger ones on laps, I let myself fully relax.

I felt better than I had all year. For once, I didn’t feel like I needed to watch my back. My guard was down, and I managed to draw a full breath. I couldn’t remember how long it had been since I could do that. My own pack never gathered like this. There were always plenty of walls between us—and not just the physical barriers, but also the emotional ones. We were a bunch of bitter, angry wolves with only the flimsiest of connections between us.

But this… this wasn’t just a pack. It was a family.

Shan sat at the head of the table, with Tristan on his right and Jude on his left, their mates beside them, while Brody, the Alpha Omega, sat at the other end of the table, bracketed by Dawn and Damon. Me, meanwhile, I found myself tucked on side between Mal, the six-year-old, and Sasha, the timid omega. I should’ve felt relieved that they trusted me around their most vulnerable pack members, but instead, I felt a little like I’d been relegated to the children’s table. Like I wasn’t a threat.

Vesta smirked from where she sat across from me, and I swore she was directing it at me, though her eyes were milky white with blindness. It was like she always knew exactly what I was thinking.

Looking up and down the table, I realized there was a lingering tension, but for once, I didn’t think it had anything to do with me. Jude was glaring down at his plate, fork clutched awkwardly in his fist. “Shan, we need to talk about—”

“Not yet,” Shan interrupted sharply, his eyes flicking toward the kids. Forcing a smile, he said, “Eat up, everyone. Food’s getting cold.”

It was simple fare, seasoned with herbs they’d grown themselves, but I devoured it all the same. It helped to fill the hollow that forever lingered inside me.

Conversation was sparse and broken, reinforcing the sense of tension that only seemed to build. I looked around for a clue about what it could be, but it was like trying to guess what a whole puzzle would be while holding only one piece.

By the time the kids had finished eating, Malachi was squirming in his seat. “Can I please be excused, Papa?” he asked.

Shan nodded, but before he could get far, he cleared his throat, and Mal stopped. “What do you say to Silas?” Shan coaxed.

“Thank you for the deer,” he said in a rush before running off to play. Wynn and Pax echoed his words before chasing after Mal. Jesse had fallen asleep in her omega father’s lap.

Jude’s leg was bouncing under the table. “Now?” he asked. “I need to know what he said.” Morgan, his mate, reached under the table to still his fidgeting.

Shan looked down the table and shared a weighted look with Brody. A strange sense of electric anticipation left my body buzzing. What the hell was going on?

Finally, Shan pushed his plate away and leaned his forearms on the table. “We heard from Joe. He got a lead on the lab today.” The table erupted into gasps and murmurs, plus a few outraged curses.

“Are the missing shifters there?”

“When can we go after them?”

“How did Joe find them?”

Joe Caruso was Dylan’s dad, Tristan’s father-in-law. He was the closest thing I’d ever met to a gangster—richer and more powerful than any of the gods—and he was also a badass panther shifter.

Oh, and he was also newly mated to Jude’s omega father, making Tristan and Jude stepbrothers. Talk about an awkward family dynamic.

“That dick Eric Taylor is mine .” That one was from Jude, his claws protruding from his fingertips and leaving gouges in the tabletop.

The balance between man and beast was always tenuous, but I could always sense Jude’s wolf close under the surface. I suspected that had a lot to do with how he’d been raised in one of those so-called labs. Not sure what the supposed “doctors” were studying, but it was a safe bet to say that it was nothing good.

Shan held his hands up, waiting for everyone to settle down a bit before he said, “We don’t know a lot yet. He tracked down Dr. Taylor, who has been seen coming and going from the secure complex, and honestly, that’s enough for me.”

The Alpha turned to Jude on his left, placing a hand over his bunched fist in a tender gesture. “Jude, we don’t know for sure if your brothers or sister are in there, but there’s a chance. I don’t want you going in there half-cocked, all vigilante style. We know from experience that they’re well-armed and dangerous, and that while they’d love to catch us alive, they know how to put us down. Promise me that you’ll hold off until we know more.”

Jude’s jaw clenched, but when he nodded, I knew it was a promise he would keep.

Shan reached down to a bag beside his stool and pulled out a tablet. Setting it on the table, he brought the screen to life and brought up a picture. “We have some pictures of the outside, but Joe hasn’t been able to secure the blueprints. It’s all under heavy security.” He slid the tablet to the center of the group so everyone could lean in.

“The lab has put out a job opening for some security personnel, and Joe is planning to put someone on the inside to get more information,” Shan was saying. “The problem is that these guys are on to us, and they likely have measures in place to identify shifters. We’ll need to recruit a human to—”

Morgan, being human, sat forward, raising his hand to volunteer, but Jude snatched his wrist and lowered his hand. “No,” he said firmly, brooking no argument.

Morgan looked wounded. “But I can help! He just said—”

“Another human. Anyone but you.” Jude’s eyes flashed green. “You’ve been in enough danger. Not again. Jesse needs you. I need you.” His voice cracked. And if that wasn’t enough, he added, “And Eric knows you.”

Morgan sagged in his seat, stroking Jesse’s dark hair. “Okay,” he whispered, looking defeated.

But it wasn’t like we had a lot of humans we could ask. By nature, shifters kept their existence a secret from humans, for the very reason we were currently dealing with. Humans were often afraid of what they didn’t understand, and that led to hatred and violence. How could we suddenly divulge our secret to a human, and then expect them to help us? That was an awful lot of trust to put in someone we didn’t know.

So naturally, they began talking about how to get a shifter in.

I was still sitting on my stool while the others had stood, crowding around the tablet. The sun had begun to set, the tablet’s screen lighting their faces from below. I’d already made up my mind. “Count me in,” I said, interrupting the discussion.

Tristan glared at me, teeth clenched. “You weren’t invited.”

Slowly standing, I leaned my palms on the table and looked around at each of them in turn. “You need someone inside, and I’m volunteering for the job. None of you can go undercover. They’d recognize any of you, and I don’t see any other trustworthy humans around here.” I caught Tristan’s glare and held it. “And if they find out I’m a shifter, why would you care? I’m expendable. I don’t have a mate or pups, and I’m not even a part of your pack.” Yet , I thought, meeting Shan’s eyes with the silent message. “And I think we can all agree that I’m more than willing to do whatever needs to be done. You need me,” I said with a feral grin.

“That’s what I’m worried about,” Tristan grumbled, narrowing his eyes before he dropped back onto his stool.

Heads swiveled back and forth between me and Shan as their Alpha weighed their options, even though they all knew they had none. The screen went into battery-saver mode, leaving us in the near dark. The pack got silent and still, until the only sound I heard were the kids playing a game of tag in the clearing. Until even they seemed to sense something momentous was happening, and then all that was left was the wind through the trees, the day’s final call of a mourning dove, and nestled underneath it all, the beat of our hearts.

The silence was a physical thing, tension pressing in on all sides until I could barely catch my breath. Shan and I remained standing, two Alphas in a standoff, and the weight of his will nearly made my legs give out. We both knew why I wanted to risk this. I’d apologized, but actions spoke louder than words. Shan said he didn’t trust me, but that didn’t mean he didn’t want me to convince him.

The longer the silence drew on, the more doubt crept in. In the end, though, it wasn’t Shan who made the final decision.

“He will go,” a raspy voice said from the deepening shadows.

Shan startled and looked away first, searching out the woman who sat forward, her nightgown almost glowing in the rising moonlight. I’d almost forgotten she was here. Her eyes were unseeing, though she looked straight at Shan. “He will go to the lab,” she repeated.

Vesta was the pack’s shaman and midwife, but she was so much more than that. She held sway over them as a matriarch of sorts. She’d been on this earth longer than any of us, and she’d lived through much in her years. She’d seen even more in her mind’s eye.

For a moment, I thought Shan would argue, but instead, he nodded. “Okay. Silas will go.”