Page 17 of Rebel Secrets (Devils Hockey #3)

The kid had been quiet through most of dinner, which wasn’t like him.

I hadn’t pushed. I knew when I didn’t want to talk about something, people asking me what was wrong was a sure way to make me shut up.

I’d been waiting for him to open up. Usually Ian couldn’t keep his mouth shut.

Today, I couldn’t get him to open it. All I got now was a shrug, which made him look at least ten years younger.

I tried not to worry about that shrug, because that wasn’t me.

I wasn’t the guy who patted the younger guys on the back and encouraged them to become their better selves.

That was Rowdy’s job. I was the guy who bought them a beer and sat and listened when they wanted to bitch and complain before they moved on to someone like Rowdy who could tell them what to do.

“So that’s a no. Okay, I can deal with that. You wanna hear about my day weeding the garden beds or –”

“Hey, you must be Ian. I’m Rowdy.”

My brother stood by our table, welcoming grin on his face and hand outstretched.

I couldn’t believe I hadn’t seen him coming, but I’d been so focused on Ian.

The kid looked up at my brother, blinking.

After a short hesitation, he took Rowdy’s hand.

And since Rowdy missed nothing, he slid me a quick glance, his smile never dimming.

“Um, yeah, hi.”

“Nice to meet you.” Rowdy’s smile didn’t waver, even though I knew Rowdy had clocked about nine different things that seemed off about Ian.

I could sometimes miss things that were right in front of my face, but Rowdy missed nothing, even though he came off as a clueless, smiley golden retriever.

“Reb said you’ll be around for a while.”

While Ian’s brain tried to come up with a suitable response, Rowdy released Ian’s hand and turned his attention to me.

“So, Pop said you’re gonna take the camp coach position.”

I rolled my eyes and sighed heavily, though it was mostly for show. “He forgot to tell you I didn’t agree yet.”

“Yeah, we both know that’s just a formality. You’re gonna do it. And seriously, the kids’ll love you. Just wanted to stop and say hi before Tressy sees you and forces you to come sit with us. Now I can tell her you told me to fuck off and leave you alone.”

I smirked at Rowdy as I gave him the finger, Ian looking between us with his mouth hanging open.

“Now you can tell her the truth. And I still haven’t told Pop yes.”

Rowdy’s grin widened. “You know you’re going to do it. Don’t know why you think you’re not.”

And like the tornado Rowdy was, he turned and headed in the opposite direction, where I saw Tressy and Krista waiting by the entrance. Tressy did a little finger wave, but it was Krista’s happy arm-waving that made me grin and wave back, before turning my attention back to Ian.

“Sorry about that. Rowdy can be a lot, even in small doses.”

Ian shrugged. “No problem. I know I came at a bad time. You’ve got a lot going on?—”

“Ian.” I leaned forward, just a little, making sure to hold Ian’s gaze.

“You don’t wanna tell me what’s going on, that’s fine.

You wanna talk, that’s fine too. You’re welcome here for as long as you fucking want to be here.

Got it? My place is more than big enough for the two of us.

” And I just had a brilliant idea. “If you’re up for it, I might even have a job for you. ”

Ian perked up at that. “A job? Seriously? Doing what? I had a job, but it fell through… when everything went to hell.”

I paused for a second, considering what I wanted to say. “You in trouble? You need?—”

“No!” Ian sounded like he’d dropped back into his pre-teen years. “No, I’m not. I just…” He sighed hard, and I knew I had to drop it.

Something had happened, and I hated that he didn’t feel comfortable enough to tell me what was going on.

Then again, my face didn’t exactly coax people into confiding in me.

And usually, I didn’t want to know. But Ian was a friend.

And he had a problem. And yeah, maybe I had more of my dad in me than I cared to admit.

“So, this job,” I said. “I’m not sure you’re gonna want it, but I got…” roped into “an offer I couldn’t turn down. And it turns out, I’m gonna need help.”

Ian finally looked me in the eyes, missing a little bit of the guilt and, yeah, despair, he’d had before. And I knew this was the right thing. For both of us.

“You know my brother’s getting married in a couple weeks, right? And then they’re going on their honeymoon for a couple of weeks. Turns out the local hockey club needs a coach for their two-week camp. Usually, this is something Rowdy would do but?—”

“How come?”

“How come what?”

“Why would Rowdy do it and not you?” Ian looked genuinely confused. “I mean, you’re a fucking awesome player. No offense to your brother and all, but you got an AHL position without coming through the system. That’s fucking awesome.”

I’d heard that before. Someone people had said it straight to my face with a sneer, like I must have bought my way in.

Those were players I mopped the ice with during games.

They didn’t open their mouths again. Some players, like Ian, had been better about it.

Most everybody had an opinion, though. Which meant a lot more attention than I was used to. And that had sucked.

Now, the absolute sincerity on Ian’s face made me smile.

Which is what I was doing when a flash of rose-gold hair caught my eye from across the room.

I caught Erin’s gaze and the surprise on her face turned my smile into a grin.

Which made her mouth drop open in shock.

That girl would get fleeced in any poker game she ever played.

My grin quickly turned into a frown when I realized who she was with. What the hell was she doing here with Kade? And why the hell did it matter?

What the fuck, dude?

Kade followed Erin’s gaze and grinned when he saw me. Then I noticed Brian and Rain behind them, and?—

We should’ve stayed home and ordered pizza.

“Is that Erin?”

Ian had followed my gaze, his expression lightening and a smile emerging.

“Yep, that’s Erin.”

“Cool. Can we say hi?”

I didn’t really have to answer that. Kade was already on his way across the room, Rain and Brian close behind. And Erin trailing along behind them, biting her lip as her gaze met mine before hers slid away again. Her smile emerged only when she caught sight of Ian.

My sister didn’t even bother to say hi to me. She was all about Ian, introducing Brian and Kade and never asking him what he was doing here. Brian must have gotten the word around. Good. That was good.

Ian seemed most excited to see Erin, who was all smiles for him. I sat back and let Rain and Erin handle the conversation as Kade and Brian pulled another table over to ours. And in some weird twist of fate, Erin ended up next to me.

I trusted Rain to keep everyone else from overwhelming Ian for the time being.

My brain had decided it was more interested in whatever Erin was doing.

Which wasn’t much. She sat quietly, fidgeting a little but not enough to be noticeable to anyone else.

But her silence would be. And that was because of me.

I turned to look at her just as she turned to me.

“I think we?—”

“I heard you?—”

We both broke off.

“What were you going?—”

“Sorry, go ahead and?—”

I tried not to roll my eyes. I really did. But I knew I’d lost the battle when she huffed out a sigh. I held up my hand, and she pursed her lips.

“Ladies first.”

Her brows rose and her lips twisted into a semi-smile. And again, I wondered why I’d never noticed how pretty she was.

You always thought she was annoying.

Always talking, always in motion. Always busy. Just being near her made me want to tear my hair out. Except right now…

“Rain said you’re going to run the team camp this summer. I just wanted to let you know I’ll be providing the lunches this year.”

“I didn’t realize that was part of the program.”

“It wasn’t until a couple years ago. Have you run the camp before?”

I huffed out a laugh. “I haven’t even agreed to do it yet.”

She looked confused. “Why? I think you’d be perfect for the job.”

My brows rose as her cheeks flushed. It made her eyes greener. Something I shouldn’t have noticed.

“Why does everyone keep telling me that?”

She didn’t even stop to think about her answer. “Because you’re so still.”

She said it like it was obvious. And I had no idea what she meant.

Frowning, I shook my head. “Still?”

“Quiet.” She shrugged. “I think kids respond to that better than…other ways. The only coaches I ever had were intense.”

Interesting. “What sport did you play?”

Her nose wrinkled. “Tennis.”

“You didn’t like it.”

Her left shoulder lifted slightly. “I love to play. I don’t like competing.”

“Couldn’t you just play the game and not compete?”

She paused, and I saw the calculations going on in her head. What should she tell me? How much did she want to reveal? How much did she trust me? It pissed me off that she didn’t trust me enough to tell me this small piece of herself. And yeah, I knew it didn’t make any sense.

Fuck it.

“That’s not how it worked in my family,” she finally said.

Okay, that gave me a little better picture.

“Parents had high expectations, huh?”

“Just a little, yeah?”

She said it with a smile, as if she really didn’t care, but I saw hurt in that way too expressive face of hers. And it pissed me off even more. Not at her. For her. But from the way she was staring at me, I could tell she thought I was coming down on her. Shit.

She pulled away mentally. Shut down. I saw it in the flat lines of her face. She didn’t do that with anyone else but me. Made me feel like shit, honestly.

Holding her gaze, I leaned forward, her eyes growing larger every centimeter I got closer. At the moment, no one else was paying attention to us. I knew because I checked. They were all engrossed in their own conversations.

“You know you don’t need to live up to anyone’s expectations but your own, right?”

Her lips parted and her eyes widened like I’d told her I wanted to strip her right here and now and lay her out on the table so I could kiss her from that adorable nose to the tips of her toes.

The thought flickered through my brain at lightning speed, too fast for me to be able to tear it apart. So I pushed it to the back of my brain and focused on watching her.

“I do. But it’s hard when it’s your parents. I mean, your parents are amazing. They’re so supportive and loving and?—”

“Yeah, they are. But that doesn’t mean they don’t have expectations. And trust me, I haven’t always lived up to theirs.”

Her head ticked to the side as she thought about my words. Then that little smile came out again, and I knew our conversation had reached its limit. For her, at least.

“No parents are perfect, I guess.”

That right there was her exit ramp to this conversation. The problem was, I didn’t want to give it to her.

“And some are worse than others.”

She held my gaze for a few seconds.

“My parents aren’t monsters.”

“Didn’t say that.”

She huffed. “Then what are you saying?”

“I’m just saying sometimes parents aren’t always right about what their kids need.”

Her teeth latched onto her bottom lip, digging in until the skin turned white before she released it. My hand curled into a fist under the table, resisting the urge to press my thumb there and make sure she didn’t hurt herself. It pissed me off that she might.

“Is that why you moved here?” I nudged at her just a little more.

“Because my parents thought I should win more tennis matches?”

Sarcasm coated her voice, which didn’t suit her at all. And it pissed me off. Took a little bit of work to keep my expression neutral, but I think I managed. She didn’t run screaming, anyway.

“You wanted to be where you could be yourself.”

Now she looked at me like I had two heads and a tail. Finally, after a few quiet seconds, she shook her head, and her gaze slid away.

“So anyway, about camp. I usually bring lunch around 11:30 so I have time to set up. Everything’s ready by noon for the kids to eat. You won’t have to do anything. I do cleanup, too.”

I didn’t say anything right away. “Seems like we’re going to be seeing each other a lot more than we anticipated.”

“And are you okay with that?”

She said it with a little more of her natural sass and something inside me settled.

“Guess I am.”

And part of me wasn’t unhappy about that.