Page 15 of Rebel Secrets (Devils Hockey #3)

Chapter Ten

E rin

“Wow.” Rain stood in front of the dress my mom had bought for me. “That is absolutely stunning.”

I sighed, laying across my bed. I’d driven home from New York yesterday with that dress in a bag in the back seat of my car, loving it and hating it at the same time. I’d known it was the one the second I saw it. The problem was, so had my mom. We’d instantly agreed.

“It is. I love Chanel.”

Rain looked over her shoulder at me, brows raised. “But…”

Shrugging, I rolled over to look at the ceiling.

“But my mom chose it.”

“Ah.”

“Yeah.”

Rain flopped next to me on the bed, staring up at the ceiling with me.

“Is she really that bad?”

I sighed like a hormonal teenager. “No, she’s not. Of course, she’s not. We actually had a nice day.”

“So, what’s the problem?”

The problem was I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Rebel since our not-date Monday night. And that was a major problem. I’d seen another side of him. The non-grumpy side. So what? I was sure he’d be back to his same grumpy self the next time I saw him.

“I feel like I’m still twelve when I’m with her. But that’s a ‘me’ problem.”

“You wanna talk about it? Or do you wanna go have some wine and whine?”

I glanced over at Rain, who had a goofy smile on her face but was clearly pleased with her wordplay. I grinned and shook my head.

“No on both. I’m on a self-imposed alcohol freeze until the wedding. I don’t want to have to worry about fitting into my dress. And I’ve got a therapist for whining.”

“Did you decide to go to your cousin’s wedding stag?”

My nose curled. “I hate that word. It seems so…male centric.”

“Would you rather I ask if you’re going alone?”

“That sounds pathetic.”

Rain rolled her eyes. “Are you taking anyone with you? Jeez, I should know better than to fight with verbally spar with a writer.”

“Except I’m not really a writer.”

“Sounds like something your mom said yesterday.”

“She’s not wrong. I wasn’t trained as a writer. Actually, I wasn’t really trained to do anything except take tests and do very, very well on them.”

Rain’s expression hardened. “You went to college for four years and didn’t learn anything other than how to read textbooks?

I call bullshit. You write articles for the newspaper, articles that make people laugh.

You’re really good at those, you know. And you run two businesses.

Well, three if you count how much you do for your granddad at the paper. ”

Rolling onto my side, I bent my arm and propped my head on my hand. “You’re a really good friend. Will you marry me? Ooh, or you could come to the wedding with me.”

“You know I would except Brian and I are going to the shore that week.”

“Shit. I forgot.” I really hadn’t but I could hope something had changed. “I just…really don’t want to go alone. My sister will be there with her perfect husband, and my brother will be there with his flavor of the week, and she’ll be some beautiful woman with an amazing career.

“And all night, I’ll have to fend off questions about how I’m such a good person to give up everything to help my elderly grandfather manage his affairs. Like he’s on his deathbed, and I’m just waiting for him to die so I can collect his money.”

“Your family reunions must be loads of fun.”

“We don’t have reunions. We have board meetings, and no, they’re not fun.”

“Wow. Your family drama sounds made for TV.”

“I swear my parents’ staff leaks info to the tabloids. It’s a nightmare.”

“Did you just say your parents have staff? Like, ‘maids and butlers’ staff?”

Erin and I had been friends since the moment we met in the Tea Room where Granddad and I had had dinner the first night I’d arrived. He’d introduced us and, when she hadn’t run from my initial obnoxious, anxiety-ridden verbal assault, I’d immediately realized she was a keeper.

But even though I’d told her a lot about me, I hadn’t exactly told her a lot about my family. I mean, sure I bitched about my mom like a normal person, and I’d told her a little about my dad, though that was a touchier subject. I didn’t feel like I had a real relationship with him.

And of course, I always complained about my perfect siblings. My sister was Type-A on steroids, and my brother made playboys look like philanthropists. But the more cringey stuff, like the wealth and the lifestyle…I never really talked about it.

Her family was wealthy, yes, but mine was a level above wealthy. And it made me uncomfortable to talk about it.

“Yes,” I drew the word out to about five syllables. “I mean, I just assumed you knew.”

Not true, but hell, everyone could Google. All she had to do was a simple search. And I’m sure she had.

“Well, sure, I knew you came from a rich family. I guess I just never thought about it being mega-yacht and second-mansion-in-the-Hamptons rich.”

“Replace the yacht for a villa in Tuscany, and you’d be close.”

Rain’s eyes widened. “Damn. I mean, my parents are loaded, but yours are on another level, aren’t they?”

And this is why I didn’t tell people about my family. They looked at me differently.

I just shrugged. She knew the answer to her question just by the look on my face.

“Shit.” She made a face that was both amused and resigned. “There is such a thing as too much money, huh?”

“My parents’ wedding was more of a business merger. My granddad’s not poor, obviously,” I waved a hand around at the building I lived in, which he’d bought on a whim because he’d always wanted to run his own newspaper, “but my dad’s family…yeah.”

“So, how’d you turn out so normal?”

This is why I loved Rain. She was the sister I’d never had. My actual sister and I had never really been close. I’d blame the age gap of eight years, but really, we just didn’t have anything in common.

And now my eyes started to tear up.

“There are a few people around who would say I’m not.”

Rain rolled her eyes. “And they’re assholes, so ignore them. Seriously, you’re the least snotty rich person I know.”

“I mean, you know I went to prep school. I was pretty much an outcast there, although I did make a few fellow outcast friends. We kept each other grounded, you know?”

Nodding, Rain pushed herself up to sit on the bed cross-legged. “Yep. I get it. I know you told me you stayed because you love it here, but I’m beginning to think there’s more to it.”

In all the time I’d been in St. David, I’d never mentioned my fiancé to Rain. I didn’t like to talk about him. I never wanted to talk about him, but my mom and sister would always manage to work it into the conversation. I should be over it by now.

And I was over him. Had been for a while. I didn’t even really think about Michael anymore.

Except, I’d never told Rain about him. I didn’t ever talk about him, except to my therapist. And even then, not as often as we had six years ago when it was fresh and it’d hurt like I’d been shot in the heart.

“I guess, maybe, it might have something to do with my failed engagement.”

Rain blinked. “Say what now?”

I shrugged, like it wasn’t really a big deal, even as I couldn’t hold her gaze. “It was a long time ago. A couple of years before I moved here. We were engaged in our senior year of college. It ended after four years.”

“You were engaged for four years? Did he cheat on you?”

“Not physically. Emotionally…” Another shrug. “He fell in love with someone else.”

Rain reached across and squeezed my hand. “That sucks. I’m sorry.”

“I know it was for the best now. We weren’t right for each other.”

Except that’s not what I’d thought at the time. I’d thought we were perfect. And he hadn’t.

“Well, I say you dodged a bullet.”

Except everyone in my family thought I’d been the one at fault. Everyone except Granddad.

“I know that now. I should’ve known it when he got engaged to a friend of ours six weeks later.”

“Oh, he is a total dick.”

“Actually, he’s not. He runs an international charity for children, and he and his wife have adopted three kids.”

“Well, damn. Now I really hate him.”

I burst out laughing. “I know, right? It’s like the plot of a bad romcom, except I’m the sad side character who disappears into the background after the main characters get married and live happily ever after.”

“You’re not a side character, Erin. I really hope you don’t think that.”

“I did, for a while. That’s part of the reason I came here to help Granddad. Part of it was I wasn’t happy with myself or my life, and I needed a change.”

“Is that why you haven’t really dated? Because of the douchebag?”

I loved Rain for making me laugh. “No. Yes. Maybe a little. I mean, I have dated.”

She gave me a look. “When was the last time you went out with a guy?”

Monday night. With her brother.

“Oh wait.” Rain’s eyes narrowed. “I heard a rumor you and Rebel had dinner. But I can’t believe that. You would have told me if you were going out with my brother.”

“It wasn’t a date. It was just dinner.”

Rain’s brows couldn’t get any higher. “Why do you sound a little defensive?”

“I’m not. Rebel thought it would help us get rid of some our awkwardness during the wedding dance.”

“Huh. Okay. I’m kind of amazed to say my brother might have had a good idea. But don’t tell him I said that. So, did it? Help?”

I didn’t have to think about the answer. “Yeah. I think…Yeah. We know each other a little better now. I think we’ll be able to smile convincingly for the cameras on wedding day.”

“I don’t think anyone was worried you’d ruin the day, you know that, right?”

“I know. Rebel and I just don’t have the best track record.”

“And that’s his fault, not yours.”

I knew that wasn’t completely true. “I can be a little…extra.”

Rain huffed. “I wish you could see yourself the way I do. You’re only extra in the best ways. You’re kind to a fault. You genuinely love to talk to people, and you like to take care of them. That’s how I see you.”

I blinked, feeling the sting of tears.

“It’s nice that you do. But there are a lot of other people in town who still look at me like an outsider. And a weird one.”

“Stop that. You’re not weird. And if anyone out there thinks you are, that just makes them dicks.”

“Thanks, Rainy. I appreciate it.”

“Yeah, but you don’t believe me, do you?”

“I know you mean well, but I also know myself. It’s something I’ve been working on with my therapist for years. Learning to accept myself the way I am.”

“The way you are is what makes you who you are. I wouldn’t want you to be any other way. And Rebel and all those other people can go screw themselves sideways.”

Laughing, I fell back onto the bed again. “Your brother’s not that bad, you know.”

“I know. He’s got things he needs to work through, but he’s working on himself, too.

Guys just take longer to develop critical thinking skills.

Some of them anyway.” Rain got off the bed to pick up the Chanel and hold it against herself, standing in front of the full-length standing mirror that at one time had belonged to the original owners of the building and should probably be in a museum somewhere. “So, you and Rebel are good?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

“Good. I really think you and I need to go on a shopping trip to New York City. I gotta get me one of these. I think Brian would definitely like to see me in something like this.”

And for a brief second, I wondered what Rebel would think of me in that dress.