Page 14 of Rebel Secrets (Devils Hockey #3)

We sat for a second in silence, gazes locked, while I told myself she looked a hell of a lot younger than twenty-nine.

Then she cleared her throat, looked down at the table, then her gaze lifted to somewhere over my shoulder.

“So, what are we doing here, Rebel?”

Good question. Right now, I didn’t have an answer, except the one I’d given her before.

“I think if we get to know each other a little better…”

“You wouldn’t think I was so annoying.”

My lips twitched, wanting to smile at her sass. “I don’t think you’re annoying.”

She hmphed, arms crossing over her chest. “Oh, please. You practically run in the other direction when you see me coming.”

My turn to roll my eyes. “I’m not afraid of you, Erin.”

“Then why do you avoid me?”

Shit. How truthful did she want me to be? How much truth was too much? And how much did I really want her to know? I wasn’t used to talking about my issues with anyone except my therapist. Didn’t think anyone else needed to know.

But she was right. I’d invited her.

I rubbed a hand across the back of my neck, rethinking my entire strategy for this dinner. I’d thought we’d manage small talk for ninety minutes then go our separate ways. And at the wedding, I’d be a little less likely to want to spend most of the wedding on the other side of the room from her.

Now, she watched me like she was expecting me to bare my deepest secrets, her expression more than a little stubborn. I’d almost call her cute, but I’d never say that out loud to a woman. My mom didn’t raise an idiot. And I didn’t think she was cute. Cute was for kittens and toddlers.

“I’m not good with people I don’t know. And it takes me a while to warm up to strangers.”

And I hated exposing my jugular to anyone.

Erin’s expression softened with every word, which made me stiffen.

I always hated to be pitied. Luckily, Luna returned with our drinks and took our order.

Apparently, Erin came here often, as well, and knew the menu.

When Luna disappeared again, another silence fell.

This one was worse. I knew she was judging me.

But what she said next surprised the hell out of me.

“I know I can come on strong. I’m sorry I make you uncomfortable.”

Now she looked uncomfortable, and I wanted to bang my head on the table. Damn it, it was not my intention to make this woman feel bad. Her gaze had fallen to the table and her hands had folded into a knot in front of her. Jesus, she looked like I’d kicked her puppy.

“Erin, this isn’t about you. It’s about me. You’re not at fault.”

She nodded, and her lips curled into a false smile.

“Good to know.”

Oh, for fuck’s sake. “Erin. It’s not you, it’s me.”

I thought I might get a smile out of her, but once again, I got it wrong.

Her lips twisted into a grimace. “Not the first time I’ve heard that. My former fiancé said the exact same thing before he called off our wedding.”

My brain hit rewind. “Your fiancé? You were engaged?”

“What, you don’t think anyone would want to marry me?”

“NO! That’s not what I meant. Jesus?—”

Her lips twisted and finally curved into a true smile.

“I’m kidding, Rebel. Take it easy. Yeah, I was engaged. It ended.” She shrugged. “End of story.”

It didn’t exactly sound like the end of the story. In fact, I was pretty sure there was a hell of a lot more to the story. But I knew she wasn’t going to spill it to me. And it’s not like I needed to know. We were just here to get used to each other. But I found myself wanting to know more.

“Did it end before you came here?”

“Yes.”

“Did you end it?”

“No.”

Okay, now I knew why my sister got pissed at me for one-word answers.

I sat back in my chair and considered what to say next. Erin stared back, looking a little more wary than she had a few minutes ago.

You’re not here to interrogate her.

No, but I found I wanted to know more about her.

“So, you’re from New York City, right? You grew up there?”

She nodded, eyeing me like I was trying to pry state secrets out of her.

“I did.” Her teeth lodged in her bottom lip like she was trying not to say anything more, but then it was almost like she couldn’t help herself. “Upper West Side.”

“Your family has money.”

It wasn’t a question. It took money to live well on the Upper West Side.

And it wasn’t a dig. My family had money.

My great-grandparents had built a small-time whiskey business into an empire.

A small one, but still enough that my parents had been able to build the Northeast Professional Hockey League into a viable business when so many other leagues had failed through the years.

Erin had been chewing over her response for several long seconds, until she finally nodded.

It wasn’t like it was a big secret. Everyone knew her grandfather was loaded.

The guy had outright bought the local newspaper and the building from the former owners and had kept everyone on the payroll until they had either moved on or retired.

Which was how Erin had come to be here.

“Did you always want to work in journalism?”

She blinked, as if her brain was trying to compute the change in conversation.

“No, not at all. I studied pre-law in college because I really didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life.

My dad’s family is into real estate, and I thought I’d work there after law school, but I never went.

” She shrugged, her gaze falling away for a few seconds.

“I worked for the company for a while until Mom asked me to come help Granddad close down the paper.”

“But you ended up staying, and St. David still has a newspaper.”

Her left shoulder twitched. “Things changed.”

“That have anything to do with your broken engagement?”

She stiffened, her gaze flitting around the room, as if she were looking for something or someone to save her. She got lucky. Luna returned with her our salads. But it was only a brief reprieve. I found myself wanting more, wanting to know more about her.

“Have you ever been in long-term relationship that ended…badly?” she asked after a few bites of her salad.

Payback time. “Yeah. One.”

Her eyes widened. She hadn’t been expecting that.

“Really?”

I didn’t know whether to be amused or offended. “Yeah. In college.”

“I’m not sure I knew you went to college.”

My turn to shrug. “I wasn’t going to. I was just going to join the team. All I wanted to do was play hockey.”

“What changed?”

“Have you met my pop?”

Her spontaneous laughter seeped into my bloodstream and made it heat. A slow burn that felt almost uncomfortable, like an itch under the skin I couldn’t scratch.

“I have.”

“He told me it was either college or service.” Then I told her something I’d never told anyone else. And I had no idea why. “There are times I wish I’d enlisted.”

Her eyes widened. “Really? Why?”

I nodded. “I wanted to follow in my dad’s footsteps. But I’m not my dad.”

Her smile softened. “That’s not a bad thing, Rebel.”

“I know. Which is why I didn’t enlist.”

“What did you study?”

“Business, but I majored in hockey.”

“Ah. Did you get good grades?”

“Do you think my parents would accept anything less?”

Her lips quirked. “Of course not.”

For the first time in a long time, I wanted to talk about what had happened during my senior year. I hadn’t spoken about it since I’d unloaded on Brian last year. Not a lot of people knew that I’d nearly ruined my life because I’d been too afraid to ask for the help I desperately needed.

And it made no sense that I wanted to tell her. So, I didn’t say anything.

We spent the next few minutes focusing on eating, our meals following the salads minutes later. We managed to keep up small talk through dinner, but afterward, I caught her looking at her watch. And I found myself not wanting to leave.

When Luna brought the bill, Erin wanted to pay half of it, but the look I gave her must have convinced her not to try. We left shortly after that, and I walked with her the couple of blocks to the newspaper building, where her apartment was on the third floor.

“So,” she said, “do you think we’ll be able to spend the night together?”

My lips quirked in a smile, her eyes widening as she realized what she’d said.

“Oh, my god, I didn’t mean—I mean, that’s not?—”

My laughter echoed around us, cutting off her words. “I know what you meant, Erin. And yeah, I think we’ll be okay for the wedding.”

Her lips curved and, again, that heat curled in my gut. Must be indigestion.

“Me, too.”

Several seconds passed before she blinked and took a step back toward the building.

“Thanks for dinner, Rebel.”

“Night, Erin.”

I waited until she opened the door and disappeared inside the building before I headed for my car.