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13

Razor

M y eyes open, feeling the burn of the morning sun shining through the window.

The view before me is even better than the dream I was having.

My girl is snuggled in my arms, tucked in close, the prettiest angel I ever did see.

I lean forward and breathe her in, thanking my lucky stars as I kiss the top of her head.

One thing I know, I will never take having her for granted.

“Morning.” Her groggy whisper tickles over my chest, causing my morning wood to stir.

“Morning, baby. Did you sleep all right?”

“Barely got any sleep,” she grumbles, but I can hear the playful smirk in her grumpy tone.

She was the one who couldn’t get enough of my dick.

And hell if I wasn’t eager to please.

“You need to take up that irritation with that little pussy of yours because she was the one demanding more.”

She nuzzles into me on a moan, rubbing up against my stiff cock.

“I still want more.”

Goddamn, she’s something straight out of my dreams. Pretty as an angel with an insatiable hunger.

She knows exactly what makes my dick weep, leaving me feeling drunk on sex.

“How about we get showered up and I’ll wash you from top to bottom.” I smile.

“First, I’ll clean you with my sudsy hands.” I kiss her forehead.

“Then I’ll use my tongue to sponge over that little spot between your legs.” I kiss her cheek.

“And then…” I slide my lips to her mouth.

“I’ll make sure you’re clean from the inside out.”

Before I can plant a kiss on her lips, she’s already scrambling off the bed, rushing to the bathroom, leaving me chuckling as I hear the shower turn on.

My laughter dies when my phone starts ringing on my nightstand.

My gut getting hit with a punch of guilt when I see King’s name lighting up my screen.

After airing things out to my girl yesterday, I realized that I’ve been a selfish dick.

I abandoned the ones who took me in and had my back.

I ran out on my family and have been hiding up here.

Ignoring my responsibilities.

Letting my friends down.

I’m not the only one who lost their brother that day.

We all did. Not to mention the fact that I left Skully to deal with his shit.

I should be there with him, taking him to PT and helping him with his PTSD.

But I’ve been a selfish bastard.

It’s time I get my shit together.

And now that I’ve got my girl back, I’m ready.

“Hey, brother,” I answer the line.

“Wasn’t sure you were gonna pick up. How you doin’ up there on that mountain of yours, Razor?”

I look toward the bathroom, hearing my girl brushing her teeth, and I’m grinning from ear to ear.

“Couldn’t be better, man.”

“Shit. That’s good to hear. What’s got you perked up?”

Two perky plump tits attached to a sinful sexy girl who owns my fucking heart.

“Got my girl back,” I state, feeling like I can breathe lighter as I say that.

“Kensington? Shit. You for real?”

I’m just as shocked as he is.

“Yep. Gonna make her my old lady.”

“Well, I’ll be damned. Good for you, son. I always thought she was right for you. Glad to hear it worked out.”

Me too.

“So, what’s going on?” He never phones unless something’s going down.

Thankfully, it’s been a while since shit was erupting on the streets.

Though, we’ve got a drug problem down at the strip club we need to deal with.

“Prez and Ice called. They got a big problem on their hands and wanted to meet. Apparently, they’ve broken open a case on a sex trafficking ring. Sounds like some pretty high-powered fuckers are involved, and they need our help. I’m riding out today to meet with them. Find out what the hell is going on. Figured you could use a change of scenery and it’d be good to see you. But seeing as though you’ve got your girl with you, you might not want to leave that cabin of yours.”

Don’t want to leave my girl, but I’ve been hiding out for too long.

It’s time I got back to my life and my family.

Plus, I want the guys to meet my Kens.

“Yeah. I’ll ride with you.” I’m sure Kens could use a day at her house to check in on things and pack some stuff up.

She probably wants to check in with Kitty too.

She used my phone last night to call her, and Kitty had been scared shitless that something bad had happened to my girl.

I’m sure the two of them could use some time to catch up.

“Damn, good to hear, son. We’ve missed you around here.” Hell, I’ve missed them too.

“I’ll swing by your place in a few hours, and we’ll ride out.”

“Sounds good, man.”

Finally, life is going my way.

I’ve got my sexy girl all slick and covered with bubbles smiling at me, and I’m not loaded down with as much guilt.

I know King never blamed me for what happened during the raid.

None of them did. But I still couldn’t get out from under the weight of it.

My girl has shown me that I can’t sit stagnant in the past anymore.

I’ve got a life to live.

There are others who need me.

King needs me, Skully needs me, and I’m gonna get off my ass and stand by their sides.

“What took you so long?” she asks, as I climb into the shower.

She’s already washed up, but one can never be too clean.

“King called. He’s going on a run this afternoon and asked me to come. You were right, babe. They miss having me around. So, I told him I’d ride with him. Should only be gone for one night. And I figured you could use the time to go pack up a few things at your house and get caught up with that friend of yours.”

Her entire demeanor changes right before my eyes.

Her shoulders tense up and the smile on her face slides right down the drain with the soapy water.

And I see it. The pain I never wanted to see again.

It’s there. Burning in her eyes.

Expanding as the seconds tick by.

“I don’t have to go, babe. I’ll call him back and tell him I can’t come.”

I think I fucked up in agreeing to leave her side already.

We just got shit right between us.

And here I am less than twenty-four hours later, running off.

I should be tucked in bed with her, pampering her little body with pleasure for the next two days straight before we come up for air.

“You should go.” Her voice is a thick whisper coating every one of my nerves with trepidation.

“You should get back to your life.”

Yeah, but she’s a part of that life now.

All I’m doing is going on a quick run, then I’m coming right back to this cabin.

Right back to her. Even when I return to the club, I’m still going to be living out here with my girl.

Or at her house. Her choice.

My time at the club will only be for church and business, that’s it.

My priority now is my girl.

“Baby…” I reach for her, but she climbs out of the shower, grabbing a towel.

Turning away to where I can’t see her face.

I shut the water off and climb out, stepping up behind her.

“Talk to me, Kens. Tell me what’s wrong, baby.”

“I’m sorry, Sean.” She shakes her head, staring at the sink.

“I can’t do this.”

What the fuck does she mean she can’t do this?

What the fuck happened?

I won’t go on the stupid ride.

I won’t leave her. I didn’t mean to make her feel like she isn’t my priority.

Probably should’ve given that some damn thought before I agreed to go with King.

I was just trying to make things right on every front.

“Need you to tell me what I did, Kens. I can’t lose you again, baby. Please, talk to me.”

I see her tears falling in her reflection, and it’s breaking me apart.

I feel like the anxiety is clawing up my throat, trying to strangle me again.

“I’m not cut out for this life, Sean. I don’t want to be a part of the club. I don’t want to live in fear every time you walk out that door, worried you won’t come back to me. I’m sorry. I wish I could be the girl you want. I wish I could be your badass biker babe, but it’s not me. I want to go to law school and become an attorney. Being tied to someone who doesn’t even believe in the law isn’t going to work.”

But that’s just it.

She is the one I want.

The rest of it doesn’t mean jack shit without her.

I know what life is like without her in it.

I know how fucking miserable it is.

How fucking lonely I was.

Thinking about her every day.

An empty ache in my chest. Feeling like I couldn’t breathe.

I lost her once, and there’s no way in hell I’m losing her again.

If she wants to be a lawyer, she should.

I won’t stand in her way or cause trouble for her.

And I don’t expect her to be a badass biker babe; I want her as she is.

She’s perfect.

“I’m not letting you walk away from me, Kens. If that means I have to turn in my cut, I will. I’ll quit the club, just don’t leave me.”

Her head turns, and I hate that I’ve put the sadness back in her eyes.

It’s the one thing I swore I’d never do.

“You would do that? You would quit for me?” I’d do anything for this girl.

If turning in my leather is what it takes to prove that I’m in this for the long haul, I will.

“Yeah, babe. I lost you once, and it nearly fucking broke me.” If I’ve learned anything over the last eight years, it’s that she’s the most important thing in my life.

I thought I wasn’t cut out for the straight and narrow.

But what I’m not cut out for is a life that doesn’t include her in it.

“Won’t lose you again. I want our future, Kensington. I want to marry you and have a family. If me being a part of the club isn’t something you can live with, then I’ll walk away. Who I’ll never walk away from again is you. Mean it, babe. Our life together is all that matters. If I could go back, I would’ve chosen us. This time, I am.”

More tears fill her eyes, and I don’t know whether they’re good or bad.

Need a clue on what she’s thinking because I can barely breathe.

“I don’t want you to resent me.” She shakes her head.

“I know they’re your family, and I don’t want you to choose a life with me and be miserable. What if you regret your decision?”

The only decision I’d ever regret is letting her go.

The guys will always be a part of my life.

They’ll always have my respect and friendship.

But I’m okay if I have to go straight and quit running with them.

I haven’t missed out on the adrenaline rush for the last year.

My girl is the only thrill I need.

“No.” I shake my head, pulling her into my arms. “You are my family, baby. Those men are my brothers and always will be, but my heart isn’t going to keep beating without you. You hear me? This is what I’ve been praying for. You and me. A future together.”

When her lips crash to mine, my heart finally starts beating again.

It had stopped. My happiness flatlining and I was caught in the fear of losing her again.

I grip her cheeks, holding her to me.

That was too close. She almost slipped away.

“I love you so much, Sean. Thank you for choosing me.”

“Nah, babe. The only one who needs to be thankful here is me. After what I did, I’m grateful you could find it in your heart to give me your trust again. And I’m never going to break it.”

“You didn’t get your shower yet.” She shifts back, her cheeks tipping up into a sly little smile.

“Can we get back in and I can get you clean?”

I reach down, tugging the towel off her, and lift her up around my waist. “It’s time to get dirty first. Then we can get clean.”