Page 51 of Rapunzel Is Losing It

“I’ll do my best.”

The next dayI left even earlier than I wanted, just to pick up Cordelia’s birthday present across town. That damn teapot better brighten her mood. I didn’t even care that it cost me half a fortune, as long as it would make her feel better.

The old man in the antiques shop played me the repaired music box, then wrapped the thing in layers of tissue paper before boxing it up.

Maybe I should have picked up a quick wedding present for Nat, too, but I really didn’t give a fuck about this scam wedding. I’d put on a suit. That was all the effort my uncle deserved.

“There you are.” Irina caught me off outside the church. “You have been promoted to best man.”

“Why? I don’t even know the groom.”

“Why does my father want anything?”

“To show-off,” I grunted.

“Prize steed, Vitya.” She clapped her hand over my shoulder and directed me through the side door to the back of the church. Luka was already in the little backroom, grinning from ear to ear as he handed his flask to a blonde guy in a gray suit, who I assumed was the groom. There also was a gangly kid, wearing black, who looked like a younger version of the groom. He probably wasn’t quite old enough to drink yet, scrolling his phone instead.

Irina left me with another pat on the back.

“Victor!” Luka bellowed, cheeks red, clearly deep into that flask. “Come here, meet Nat’s husband-to-be, her betrothed, the future father of her children.”

This was going to be a long day.

Luka threw his arm around my neck and pulled me into their circle. The alcohol stench on his breath was strong enough to choke a man. “Daniel, my cousin Victor. Victor, the newest member of our family, Dan the Man.”

Dan the Man gave Luka a short once-over before he pocketed that flask inside his jacket. Good call. “It’s good to meet you, Victor. Luka said you’re working together? Do you run the car dealership with him?”

Ah, so that’s what Luka was up to these days. Couldn’t drive them anymore, so he’d gone into trading them. Made sense. Probably made enough money to satisfy his father.

“No, I’m in sports,” I said.

“I’m basically his manager these days.” Luka patted my chest.

“What sports, if you don’t mind me asking?” Daniel was soft-spoken but he oozed the confidence of every politician alive. Chin high, charming smile, just enough of a crinkle around his eyes to make him look trustworthy.

He was marrying into my family though, so anyone would be stupid to trust him.

“MMA.”

“He’s taught me badass punches, Danny Boy. So don’t even think about touching my sister, got it?” Luka swung a fist around without precision and Danny Boy just so managed to duck.

“For fuck’s sake,” I huffed, “let’s get you some coffee before you give anyone a black eye.”

“Thank you,” Dan whispered and nodded to me. He probably hadn’t gotten a say in his choice of groomsmen beyond his brother.

I dropped Luka into one of the chairs by the small refreshments table and filled a coffee cup from the thermos. “What the fuck’s gotten into you?”

“Natalia is getting married to Dan the Man today!” He flung his arms out, spilling coffee all over his hand and the tablecloth, thankfully sparing his suit. “Weddings are fun. Weddings are supposed to be fun. I’m not the party pooper,youare.”

“Let’s save the fun for after the ceremony, Luka.”

“My sister is marrying Daniel because I set them up.” He pointed at the groom who nervously tapped his hand against his chin while watching us. “Daniel’s gay. He doesn’t even like herlike that.”

“Yeah, I know.” I pushed the hand with his cup against his lips. “Let’s keep that between us.”

“Fine,” he grumbled into his coffee.

I forced him to down three of the cheap crumbly church cookies between gulps of coffee. By the time the second cup was empty, he seemed at least lucid enough to stand by the altar for 45 minutes without causing a scene.