Page 15 of Rapunzel Is Losing It

“I know.”

“You know?” I wrought my hands in front of me, then shook them out, then ran them through my hair.

“You know that I know. We talked about this.”

“No, not six years ago,” I whined, “last night.”

“Oh. Wow.” Del’s eyes widened. “Based on your tone, I’m assuming it wasn’t good.”

It was good. Oh god, that first kiss. I was struggling not to mentally replay it again and again. When his fingers dug into my waist and his lips collided with mine and his tongue swept past my teeth. But he pulled away. The second kiss was the catastrophe. “I pretended it didn’t happen.”

“You jumped ahead. Context please.”

“Right, so, I was a little tipsy. I kissed him. And the first kiss was great, I think. But then he got all serious and told me I was drunk, and when I tried to kiss him again, he was stiff as a statue and told me to go to bed.”

“Did you only kiss him because you were drunk?” She narrowed her eyes. “Tabitha gets really horny when she’s drunk.”

“Yes, I did, but not like that. Not in a silly drunk hookup way.” I brushed my hair forward until it hid my face, and when that wasn’t enough, I folded my hands over my eyes and wished I could crawl back into bed. “It’s so complicated. We can’t even… I mean, he’s my… and I’m his… and after everything…” I struggled to find the words to describe the knot of emotions in my chest.

I heard some rustling and quiet steps on the floorboards before I felt Del lowering herself next to me. Her thigh pressed against mine. “Why did you kiss him?” she asked quietly.

“It’s like the wine just dissolved my better judgment,” I mumbled, “and I just did what I want to do when I’m sober.”

There it was. The stupid little truth. Out in the open.

I wanted to kiss Victor.

The reason I felt sick when he said Amani’s name in that low, spine-tingling way. The reason I couldn’t look him in the eye when I thought he might have a date.

“I get that. Alcohol does momentarily help with my social anxiety,” Del just said without acknowledging how big and stupid and impossible the idea of kissing Victor was.

“And this morning, I pretended like I didn’t remember.”

“Did he actually buy that? Victor’s usually not that easily fooled.”

“Oh, he definitely didn’t, but he went with it.”

“I see.” She hummed.

“I’m so stupid.”

“Hey, you are one of the smartest people I know.” Delilah delicately plucked my hands away from my face and fumbled with my hair to separate long strands from bangs. “You just did something a little stupid.”

“Maybe he has a girlfriend.”

“I think we’d know if he had a girlfriend,” she scoffed, “he spends most of his time five feet away from you.”

“It could be a long-term, long-distance, low-commitment casual kind of girlfriend.”

“Cordelia,” Del sighed, “I know this is the pot calling the kettle black, but spiraling isn’t going to help in any way. You actually have to talk to Victor. Have a healthy conversation.”

“I can’t. What if he leaves? What if he quits? The second kiss… He clearly didn’t want that second kiss. And, on top of that, I’m his employer. Oh gosh, I didn’t even think of that up until now. I’m his actual employer, Del.”

“You two kissed before, right? He didn’t leave then.”

“That was different.”

“Why?”