Page 123 of Rapunzel Is Losing It

“I’mas safe here as I would be at home. I’m as safe here as I would be at home. I’m as safe here as I would be at home,” I whispered my new mantra over and over and over again. If Irina or Luka were tired of hearing it for the last ten hours - intermittent only by the sleeping pills I took on the plane - they didn’t show it.

I knew I was lying to myself but even the repetition of those ten words helped a little. If only to stay present enough to voice them, present enough to get to Victor.

“See?” Luka huffed. “Told you it burned down.”

“Oh yeah,” Irina quipped, “that’s some shitty scaffolding though. You’d think they’d make it prettier for this kind of monument, right?”

My eyes flicked up to Notre Dame on the other side of the river, illuminated by street lamps and the flashing red lights on the construction cranes. Catastrophic images of flames and dark plumes slithered into my mind like smoke, and I immediately pulled my gaze back to the fraying end of my braid. I wrapped blonde strands around my finger until my skin turned bright red. “I’m as safe here as I would be at home. I’m as safe here as I would be at home.”

Our car stopped across the street from the Accord Arena. I’d studied the building’s plans online, but from here, it just looked like a strangely geometric hill of grass. Way too serene for the bloodshed about to happen inside.

“Get out,” Irina barked at Luka.

“Seriously?”

She kicked his shin in response, and only turned to me when he was out on the sidewalk. “You have sixty seconds to ramble or cry or throw up, because once we walk through those doors, you need to be switched on, got it?”

I nodded and took a shaky breath.

“Got it,” I whispered.

“Okay, go.” Irina grabbed my bag and pulled out hairbrush and makeup before getting to unraveling my braid.

I wasn’t sure what she expected from me. It wasn’t like I could flip a switch and go through a quick sixty second panic attack and then feel magically better. The panic was always there. Just beneath the surface.

I could, however, watch Luka light a cigarette and scratch the scar on his neck, and remind myself that our fathers had sent us down an impossible path. His. Mine. Victor’s. This wasn’t about me, and everything that their actions had put me through. This was aboutus. We deserved better than this. All of us.

“Done.” Irina capped the lipgloss she’d just put on me and tossed it back into my purse. “Let’s go.”

I wordlessly got out and let Irina fix my dress, tug the silky purple bow at its front into place, and press my overstuffed ruffly pink bag into my lace-gloved hands. She and Luka had agreed that I had to look as girly as possible if I wanted to get us in the same room with their father. So I was all boob and lace and pastel tonight.

The two of them got us into the building and backstage and I just concentrated on staying upright in my heels. We didn’t stop until we were around the corner of a long hallway at the top of the arena. The VIP suite wasn’t hard to spot. No other door had three security guards positioned outside.

“This is as far as I go,” Irina said and waved her branded hand through the air.

“Thank you,” I sighed, “go find Victor. We’ve got this.”

“Good luck,” she said before taking a door that very clearly saidStaff Only.

Once the door fell shut behind her, Luka placed a hand on my shoulder and nodded once for reassurance. “Here we fucking go.”

“We’ve got this,” I repeated. If only to make myself believe it a little more. If only because speaking the words out loud kept me rooted in the moment enough to pay attention as we walked down the hallway. I bit my lip and stared at my feet and hoped that was enough to look small and vulnerable.

“You’re not supposed to be here,” one of the security guards said when we stopped at the VIP suite, and Luka’s hand stiffened on my shoulder.

“Yeah, I’ve never been much good at doing what I’m supposed to do,” Luka chuckled.

“What’s she doing here?” one of the other guards asked. No beating around the bush with these guys.

“I know Dad’s pissed at me, okay? It’s why I brought a little present. Get myself back into his good graces.”

“A little present?” I let my head snap up. “Is that what you call kidnapping me?”

“Will you shut up about the kidnapping already?Fuck me.”

“No, thank you.”

“Yeah, we’ll see about that later. I can think of a dozen ways to keep your mouth busy,” Luka bit back in a tone that actually made me flinch. No acting chops required.