Page 122 of Raphael

Raphael. Me. Gabriel.

“I want to go.”

ChapterFifty-Two

SAILOR

Three weeks and two days since I was rescued. Two days since I told my devil I wanted to go.

Aurora visited, assuring me I was safe. Isabella did too. Gabriel just hugged me and talked about normal things. I knew I wasn’t in that basement anymore. But my mind kept drifting to it. Going back to that dark place.

Nightmares plagued me. I’d wake up screaming, hearing Santiago’s voice. Sometimes my father’s.

But Raphael was always there to pull me back. My savior and my captor.

We hadn’t spoken since I told him I wanted to leave. Not that we talked much since he rescued me. But my mind was made up. I had to leave, heal on my own terms. Figure out where to go from here.

My terrors affected Gabriel. I could see it in his eyes. They even tore at my husband. Dark shadows lingered under his eyes. I heard whispers about the devil’s temper from the staff when they came to clean the room and they thought I was sleeping.

“I have to go,” I rasped to my reflection, staring back at me.

Sitting on the black toilet seat in Raphael’s black marble luxury bathroom, I listened to the shower running, watching as the water rolled over the slick marble.

Gabriel visited earlier then left for school. Raphael enrolled him into a school he used to attend as a boy. It was a good move. Gabriel needed stability, a routine. Goals.

I didn’t know what my goals were anymore.

Aimless. Stagnant.

That was how I felt. Stuck in a fog, somewhere between a nightmare and a dream.

The skin on my back itched. The doctor said it was healing well. No infection. There shouldn’t be lifelong scars.

But showers hurt. They were painful and soothing at the same time. Except, it took courage I lacked to push myself under the water.

So I just sat there, in my panties and tank top, staring at the way the water splashed against the marble tile wall and trickled down, creating raindrops. My body was still a canvas of bruises and cuts.

My eyes met my reflection in the mirror again.

I looked the same, but I couldn’t recognize myself. As if seeing through a stranger's eyes. Anya and I looked nothing alike. She had ebony black hair and brown eyes. I guess like her father. I never pondered on our physical differences, because we were so much alike on the inside. But now that I stared at my reflection, I could see Anya in my eyes.

The bathroom door opened and my gaze flickered up to find Raphael watching me. He was dressed in his black three-piece-suit, his holster outline clearly visible. A handsome and charismatic devil, just like on the first night we met.

“Are you okay?”

His eyes traveled around the bathroom, as if he thought he’d find someone here before returning his attention back to me.

He took two steps and lowered down on his one knee. “Reina, are you hurting?”

Yes. No.I sighed tiredly. “I don’t know.”

His eyes darted to the shower, then back to me. “Do you want to take a shower?”

I lowered my gaze. My body was a mess. Shame filled me and tears burned my eyes. I swallowed hard, desperate to hold the tears at bay while my lower lip quivered.

Raphael’s hand gently took my chin between his fingers. “Let me help you, Reina.”

Our gazes held. The love he gave was like writing on a fogged window, but the steam from the hot shower wiped it out. He said he loved me. I couldn’t say it back. I felt dirty.Broken.