Page 59 of Raine

I am so dead.

Chapter19

Raine

My heart is thrashing around in my chest and it’s not from nerves. I look to my private dressing room, the pills and coke screaming my name from behind the closed door.

Clenching and unclenching my fists, I quickly straighten my sparkly, diamante black bra and small patch of leather fabric that just covers my pussy. I do the same with the garter and fix my fishnet stockings as well. Spinning around in the mirror, I check my ass out and I see Kenzi and Starr doing the same. They’re both wearing identical outfits to me, and I know I’m in the shit when Justyce sees her on the stage looking like that.

They’re talking between themselves, distracted enough that I can sneak away for a second. My feet move of their own accord, saliva pooling in my mouth as the jittery feeling intensifies when I reach my door and open it.

I walk straight to the dresser, opening the top draw and pulling out a bag of white powder. Quickly, I sprinkle a little out onto the clean glass on top of my dresser and grab the round tube I use for snorting.

Glancing over my shoulder, I see Kenzi and Starr in the same position they were a moment ago when I left them. Lingering for a beat, I watch them through the small opening of my door, then turn back to what I came in here for. My fingers quake around the tube, my hands shaking as I lean down closer to the coke and place the tube up my nose a little.

Looking up, I catch myself in the mirror on my dresser, and I turn away, ashamed and excited in the same instance. I don’t question what I’m about to do any longer; instead, I snort the line of coke, the burn scalding my nostril as I step back and screw up my face.

My eyes water, and the bitter taste lingers in my throat even after I swallow it down. Tapping my nose and wiping the tears lining my eyes, I reach down beside the dresser to a small bar fridge and grab the eye drops to help keep my eyes clear.

Leaning my head back, I place the last couple of drops in each eye and discard the now empty bottle in the bin beside the fridge. I inhale deeply, attempting to calm my raging heartbeat and the lustrous feeling now pumping through my veins.

Snatching a bottle of water from the fridge, I walk out and see Kenzi and Starr looking at me, and I hope they can’t see the guilt lining my features.

“You ladies ready?”

Starr nods, but Kenzi speaks up.

“You know I am. So I’m going to come out in the middle of your routine; you guys will part and do your thing with me doing mine?”

“Yep.”

“What song did you choose?”

“Don’t Cha by The Pussycat Dolls.”

Kenzi bursts into a fit of laughter, and Starr and I do as well.

“Stop laughing; you’re going to ruin your makeup,” I say, wiping my eyes delicately and feeling the edgy feeling creeping through my body.

The drugs are sluicing throughout, and I love the heady feeling they provide me — the numbness slowly washing away all the heavy shit that occupies my soul daily.

Speakers crackle around us, signaling we’ve got to head out in a moment. I grab my phone from the dresser and dial Justyce.

Placing my finger to my lip, I shush the girls and they giggle, which earns them a scowl from me. Justyce picks up after the third ring.

“Raine?”

“Where are you?”

“Arcane. Waiting for you to get your ass on stage, actually.”

“Heading there now, sheesh.”

“Good. Oh, and Raine?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re not off the hook for your stunt today.”