Page 11

Hayden

I’m not worried , I tell myself, staring at the worn-out bracelet in my palm.

I don’t usually get nervous.

Not about games, not about my grades, not about anything. But as I sit in my car outside the restaurant, drumming my fingers against the steering wheel, I have to admit I might just be a little nervous.

Because Liam Myers is not someone who’s easy to win.

Unlike the people who usually flock to me and my teammates, Liam doesn’t care about impressing me. He’s unapologetically himself, taking pride in being himself.

I could never be like him , I realize as a flicker of unease rises within me.

I’d never be brave enough to let people know who I really am.

Don’t think about that now , I tell myself as the silver charms dangling from the bracelet gleam in the glow of the street lamps.

Liam is finally where I want him. He fought me every step of the way, wanting to stay away from me, acting like he didn’t want me the way I wanted him.

I was finally able to break through his defenses in that deserted classroom last night. His little moans when I kissed him told me all I wanted to know.

My touch and kiss ignited a flame within him. He kept saying whatever was happening was wrong but his body couldn’t keep up with his lies. His reactions exposed his true feelings and I took full advantage of it.

Liam wants me too. He just needs to accept the truth.

A grin curves my lips as I go over my plans to win Liam.

I reserved a table for us at one of the best fine-dining restaurants in Knightswood. The place is cozy, has raving reviews for its food and service, and is several miles away from the university campus.

It’s not the grandest romantic gesture but it’s strategic. This far from the campus, Liam won’t be worried about being seen with a student he’s tutoring. At the same time, I’ll be able to hide from my teammates. It was perfectly fine for two guys to eat dinner at a restaurant without raising any curiosity from onlookers.

I’m planning to create a safe bubble for us.

I’ll make sure Liam’s attention stays on me and not on Physics, responsibilities, and whatever excuse he tries to hide behind. He’s going to be relaxed while I turn on my charm, teasing him and flirting with him until he gives up and takes me back to his place for the night.

I exhale, running a hand through my hair before checking my reflection in the rearview mirror. For the date, I changed out of my jeans and varsity jacket and donned a pair of dark slacks and a formal white shirt. A navy blazer completes the look, making me look sharp, clean, and confident.

Perfect , I think with a grin. Liam will eat up this look on me.

Taking my phone out, I check the time. It’s almost seven.

While my focus is on my phone’s screen, someone taps on my window. Glancing up, I see it’s Liam.

“Hi,” he says, smiling at me. “I think you promised me a date?”

A light bulb seems to flicker to life in my chest. Warmth floods me as I take in Liam’s formal attire. Dressed in a silken mauve shirt and dark trousers, he looks exceptionally handsome. His blond curls are cleanly swept back and tied at the back.

With a start, I realize he’s spent just as much effort as me to look good for our date.

“Are you coming out or what?” he says, stepping away from the car.

“Yeah,” I say, curling my fingers over the bracelet I borrowed from him. I carefully place it in my jacket pocket before climbing out of the car.

“I hope you like Italian,” I say, leading him toward the restaurant on the other side of the street.

“I love Italian,” he says with a grin.

With no one around, I casually wrap my arm around his shoulders and pull him against me. To my surprise, Liam doesn’t resist or push me away. He’s relaxed, keeping pace with me as we enter the restaurant.

A young woman welcomes us warmly and promptly guides us to our table.

A look of pleasant surprise flits through Liam’s face as he takes in the posh interiors of Amore Fabbrica. The restaurant isn’t big but they’ve worked on the ambiance, creating an intimate space with a warm, cozy atmosphere.

“This place must be expensive,” Liam whispers as we take our seats.

“Do you like it?”

He nods enthusiastically. “I love how it smells like fresh bread and spices in here.”

I relax, enjoying the soft hum of Italian music playing in the background.

Our server comes to the table and hands us each a menu. While we peruse through the dishes, another waiter brings us a basket of bread rolls and dips.

“Would like to order some wine?” I ask, looking over at Liam.

He shakes his head. “I’m sorry, Hayden,” he says with a hesitant look. “I don’t drink.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” I say quickly. “I don’t drink either.”

Another look of surprise passes through his face. “You don’t?”

“I don’t like the idea of losing control of both my mind and my body,” I say in a grim tone. “I’ve seen how reckless people become when they’re drunk since I was in high school. I never want to be like them and make a mistake I can’t take back.”

“You keep surprising me,” Liam says, resting his hands on the table. “You’re not as callous as you pretend to be sometimes. I like it.”

Warmth bubbles inside me at those words. Liam is finally starting to see the real me behind the mask I keep on at all times.

Our server comes back and expectantly waits for our orders.

“I’ll have the salad, the calamari platter, and pasta with lamb ragu,” Liam says without missing a beat. “Oh! For dessert, I’ll have tiramisu.”

I smile inwardly, high-fiving myself for choosing an Italian restaurant for our date.

“What would you like, Sir?” the server’s voice breaks me out of my thoughts.

“I’ll have whatever he’s having,” I say, handing him my menu card.

“Would you like something to drink while we get your food ready?”

“Coke,” I say.

“Same for me,” Liam adds. “Thank you.”

When the server leaves our table, I fix my attention back on Liam.

“So,” I say, leaning forward with a curious smile. “Are you enjoying your time at Knightswood U?”

Liam grabs a bread roll and tears into it. He nods, dipping a piece in a bowl of olive oil. “The faculty at the Physics department is amazing. They’re all experts in their fields and are always willing to help out even if you’re not one of their students. Even though I miss the beach, I’m glad I decided to transfer here.”

“You love Physics that much?”

“Yeah,” he says, chuckling and chewing bread. “I love conducting experiments and feeling like a wizard in the lab.”

“Does that beach house belong to you?” I ask, wanting to know more about him. “Did you live there alone?”

Liam chuckles, shaking his head. “I wish that gorgeous house belonged to me. But, no. It belonged to my gram’s late partner. It’s been years since he passed away but Grams has kept it the way he left it. She likes to travel, so she left me in charge to look after the place. I’ve been the caretaker for the past three years now.” His shoulders slump as a sigh escapes him. “I miss that place terribly. It was my home, you know?”

I want to nod and tell him I understand what he means, but I have no idea what a home is supposed to feel like. Unlike Liam, I have no warm memories of my grandparents. I don’t even miss the house I shared with my dad growing up.

“How long have you been interested in Physics?” I ask before Liam can ask me about my home and my family.

“I wanted to be a scientist ever since I was seven or eight,” Liam says with a faraway look in his blue eyes. “All the superheroes and villains I read about in my comic books were exceptionally talented scientists. I wanted to be just as smart and powerful as them!”

A proud, gleeful grin brightens Liam’s beautiful face. “Did I tell you I love being a scientist?”

An easy chuckle escapes me. “I believe you mentioned it earlier.”

It feels wonderful to see Liam relaxing and having fun. He’s always so closed-off and tense at the university, worried someone will discover him having feelings for the hockey player he’s tutoring.

Seeing Liam happy sends a rush of warmth through me. Once again, I pat myself on the back for bringing him to a restaurant that’s far from the university.

Liam takes a sip of water, unaware of the feelings building in my chest.

“I wanted to be a scientist so badly, I rigged my gram’s microwave to generate plasma when I was thirteen,” he says, meeting my gaze.

An amused grin blossoms on my lips. “Don’t tell me you burned down the house and they had to build it back again.”

Liam chuckles. “Nothing like that happened but Grams did throw the microwave away. We didn’t have one for over a year. We had to heat every little thing on the stove.”

I wince dramatically. “No microwave for a year? Now, that’s tragic.”

“Tell me about it.” Liam tastes a spoonful of a green dip, nodding to himself before going back to eating some more bread with olive oil. “I think that was the moment Grams realized she was raising a crazy scientist.”

“Your grandma raised you?” I ask, surprised.

Liam nods, a sober look coming over his face. “My mom got pregnant with me when she was still in high school. She wanted to give me up but Grams insisted on raising me on her own. Mom went off to college and then, got married to a guy she was working with in Dubai. She has her own family now and doesn’t stay in touch. Her family doesn’t know I’m her son.”

“But you have your grandmother,” I say, hoping he wouldn’t look so sad and hopeless. “She looked after you, didn’t she?”

“Yeah. Grams is the best.” He dips a piece of bread in the green dip he’d just tried and holds it toward me. “You haven’t eaten anything since we sat down. Just have a taste of this while we wait for our food to arrive.”

The gesture makes me smile. Leaning forward, I wrap my mouth over the morsel of bread and take it from Liam. “It’s good,” I say, chewing through a mouthful.

I can’t help but enjoy his attention. He can be so darn sweet when he feels safe and relaxed. His walls are down and he’s allowing himself to come closer to me.

Leaning forward, I focus on him as he tells me a ridiculous story about a professor from his previous university who once fell asleep during his lecture.

“You’ve got to be lying!” I say, laughing hard.

Liam winks. “I have a video.”

Another big laugh escapes me. Something warm curls in my chest as I realize Liam is doing his best to amuse me and keep the conversation flowing.

I have never felt so good in anyone’s company in my life. It’s easy to be with Liam and not feel burdened by the weight of the entire world on my shoulders.

“Our food is here,” Liam says as our server comes to our table with a huge tray.

The sight and smell of the freshly made food make my mouth water. I’m about to take a sip of the coke the waiter just put down when something catches my eye.

Over Liam’s shoulder, just past the bar, I see the last person I want to see.

Logan Johnson. My team captain.

He’s walking straight into the restaurant with a girl on his arm. Shit! He chose this place for a date too.

Every muscle in my body stiffens while my heart pounds against my chest.

This can’t happen. He can’t see me with Liam.

He can’t know I like guys. He can’t know I’m gay .

“Hayden, are you okay?” Liam asks, looking closely at me.

I glance at him, unsure how to act normal.

“You look pale. Are you feeling all right?”

“I’m fine,” I mutter, my gaze flicking back to Logan. He’s being welcomed in by one of the servers and hasn’t noticed me yet.

Fuck. He’ll see me any second now.

Panic surges through me, kicking up my instinct to run and hide.

Before I can come up with a plan, I do the worst thing possible.

Tightening my grip on my glass, I throw my cold drink at Liam.

He jerks back, his eyes wide with shock. “Why did you do that—”

I jump from my seat, grabbing a napkin. “Sorry—that was just—uhh, reflexes—”

“Reflexes?” He stares at me, trying to figure out what’s going on in my head. “Hayden, what’s wrong—"

“Come on,” I say, reaching Liam and yanking his arm to force him on his feet. “We’ve got to go.”

“Go where?” he demands angrily.

“Anywhere. I’ve got to hide you before he sees you.” My pulse thrums loudly in my ears. Fear and adrenaline course through me, making me focus on one thing alone.

Logan can’t know about this. He must not see me with Liam and assume the worst.

“Hayden, it’s okay,” Liam’s quiet voice makes me glance at him. He’s on his feet and staring at me with an icy expression. “You know that guy, don’t you?” He gestures toward Logan.

I swallow. I don’t want to tell him the truth but he sees it on my face.

“You don’t want anyone seeing us together.” He speaks softly but his tone is frigid. He takes a deep breath, his shoulders slumping. “I get it.”

I want to say something—anything. But before I have a chance, Liam turns around and walks away.

I want to run after him and explain to him that I can’t let my teammates know about me liking guys that way. That this has nothing to do with him.

It’s me. I’m the coward who’s afraid to lose the only thing he has in his life.

Hockey.

Liam walks toward a different section of the restaurant, ensuring he doesn’t cross paths with Logan and his girlfriend. He’s just...leaving.

Liam had just been smiling, happily telling me about his funny professors back home. And now...he’s walking away without bothering to turn around to look at me.

“You don’t want anyone seeing us together.” Liam’s voice sounds loud in my mind, choking me. I’m left standing alone, hands clenched, watching the only person who’s ever made me feel at home disappearing among a group of waiters.

“Hey, Bastian.”

Logan’s loud voice breaks the spell, snapping me back to reality. I barely have time to erase my expression when his heavy hand clamps on my shoulder.

“Didn’t know you’d be coming here,” Logan says, nodding toward the table. “Are you on a date too?”

A heavy weight sinks into my gut. My body stiffens while my brain goes into overdrive to come up with an explanation.

Liam is gone but the table is set with food for two. We’d ordered the same dishes, so there’s no way to lie about being here alone and not being caught. Liam’s chair is also pulled out, making things too obvious.

Realization spreads over Logan’s face as he notices the signs too.

“Nah, I’m too busy with shit to be dating anyone,” I say, forcing a loud, fake laugh. “I was just...uhh...studying.”

There’s not a book in sight, making it so damn obvious I’m lying to him.

“Studying?” he says slowly, meeting my gaze. “Here?”

I shrug, still forcing myself to act cool. “I just needed a change of scenery.”

“Right.” By now, both of us know I’m just spewing bullshit.

Logan glances at the second seat again, taking in the abandoned drink and a half-eaten bread roll on the plate. Taking a deep breath, he lets out a chuckle. “Damn, dude. I had no idea you took school so seriously.”

I force a grin. “Yeah. I’ve got to keep up my grades so they don’t kick me off the team.”

“Yeah, right. Like they’d ever bench you . I might be the captain but you’re the golden kid scoring all our goals. I’d protest if they even tried to get you off the team.”

I laugh, pretending like everything’s fine while my insides are twisting into painful knots.

“How about we go to our table?” Logan’s date says, digging her manicured nails into his arm. “I’m hungry, babe.”

“Ah, alright,” Logan says, turning his attention to the girl beside him. “I’ll see you around, Bastian.”

“Yeah, see you,” I mutter as they both walk past me to reach their table.

My heart squeezes painfully as I sink into my chair.

Liam is already gone. And I’d done nothing to stop him.

His sapphire eyes were like chips of ice when he realized the truth. He knew I was scared to be seen with him.

More of the food that we’d ordered arrives, overcrowding the table. Everything smells amazing but I’ve lost my appetite. I’ve lost Liam.

Will he ever forgive me for the way I treated him?

I don’t even want to think of the answer to that question.

Liam never wanted to get into a relationship with me. He kept warning me to stay away from him so that people wouldn’t find out I was gay.

It was me who kept chasing him. It was me who ignored his protests and sank my claws into him.

But the truth is out now.

I’m just a coward who can never acknowledge my relationship with Liam. And Liam values himself far too much to be a part of my toxicity.

Desperation, like I’ve never felt before, spreads through me in cold waves as I realize Liam will never let me touch him again.