Page 1
Hayden
The wind howls against my face as I wade deeper into the churning waves of the sea. Cold water drenches my jeans, chilling my skin. The rolling clouds overhead let out a thunderous roar, reverberating through me, warning me not to take another step toward the oncoming waves.
Would it be so bad if I let the sea claim my soul? I wonder as a huge wave crashes over me, drenching me fully.
Tears seep from my closed eyelids as my heart squeezes, sending waves of cold through my chest. I drove this far out to escape my father and his relentless obsession with my performance as the center of my team but even here, his words haunt me.
Your team won but it wasn’t because of you. So what if you scored three goals, you still let those bastards knock you down on your ass , his seething voice, louder than the thunder, hisses in my head. It’s your fault you couldn’t score another goal for the rest of the game.
He’d slapped me in the end, the impact so hard, it smashed my lip and left it bleeding. The cut stings in the freezing wind, reminding me of his abuse.
My fingers curl into fists as I stare out at the raging sea.
A step forward and the weight of everything on my shoulder would disappear. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I wonder if I’ll dare to risk it or just turn back and continue to let my fears and uncertainties burden me.
The wind howls around me, waiting...
And then—
“Don’t you dare.”
A male voice cuts through the storm, sharp as a blade, shaking with something raw and desperate. The sound of thrashing water erupts close behind me, alerting me of a stranger’s presence.
Before I can turn around to face him, strong fingers grip my wrist. The force of the pounding waves nearly thrashes me against the stranger’s chest.
He’s so warm , my mind whispers even as I try to get my footing on the rolling sand under my feet. A fork of lightning lights up the sky and the atmosphere around me, illuminating the man’s face momentarily.
He seems to be a few years younger than me, maybe he’s a freshman at college. His wide eyes reflect the dark clouds overhead while his soft blond curls wave and thrash around his face.
“You can’t do this,” he says in a strong voice, his eyes boring into me. “You don’t get to leave. You don’t get to run. At least...not like this.”
I want to tell him it’s not what it seems like.
Even though I contemplated for a moment whether to end it all, I came out here to escape the storm in my heart. Not to kill myself.
“Even if you feel lost, there’s always a solution,” he says, unknowingly speaking to my shattered soul. “There’s always a way out of the deepest hell if you’re just willing to fight.” A fury that could challenge the wild storm rages in his eyes as his grip tightens on my wrist. “I need you to fight.”
I almost nod at his ferocious war cry.
Surprise sparks in the hollow darkness within my chest. Why am I reacting so strongly to this strange kid?
Anguish mars the soft beauty of his face as he takes a step toward me. His warm breath fans over my chest, a whisper of warmth against the drenched, cold fabric of my shirt. “Do you really believe this is the answer to all your problems?” he asks, staring right into my soul. “Do you believe it’ll all end if you disappear?”
I remain silent, as something bright flickers in the dark, bottomless pit of my heart. This stranger is stirring emotions inside me that I’ve long buried. He almost makes me crave someone who’d be on my side and fight for me.
He’s starting to make me crave him .
A shudder reverberates through me. I can’t let myself think this way about another man. If my father knew of these feelings, he’d unleash his inner monster on me.
A wave of rage and hatred crashes over me.
Even now, in this very moment, when I’m suspended between hope and despair, my thoughts go to the man who’s been ruling my life since I was born.
A sharp tug on my wrist brings me back to the present moment. My gaze falls on the guy in front of me, erasing all thoughts from my head.
“Do you want to live?” he asks.
Even though I remain silent, he sees through the crack in the ice I’ve built around me.
“Good,” he says, tugging me closer to him. “I’ll help you. Come with me and I’ll make sure you know the world is better off with you in it.”
My heart pounds against my chest almost painfully from a strange emotion.
It’s neither the fear I feel at my dad’s presence nor the thrill I feel when I’m on the ice, facing the enemy team. It’s something else altogether.
I walk as he aggressively tugs on my wrist, determined to get me out of the sea. I don’t know what it is about this guy, but something deep within me has chosen to trust him. For the first time in my life, I’m willingly giving the reins of control to someone else.
“Damn, it’s cold tonight,” the stranger mutters, his long, slim fingers strongly holding onto my thick wrist.
The howling wind is freezing but his hand is warm against my wrist. Can he feel my pulse throbbing against his hold?
Once we’re out of the water, he leads me along the deserted beach until I can see the silhouettes of rising houses in the distance. Our wet shoes make squelching noises as we battle against the rough wind to reach our destination.
Soon, we’re walking up to a two-story house with a tall iron-wrought gate. Old-fashioned lamp posts illuminate a densely growing garden beyond it, making me question my choice to follow this strange guy.
“Come on,” he mutters, pushing the gate open and leading me through it.
The subtle fragrance of roses hits my nostrils as we hurry down the curved path leading to the house. Bent forward against the wind, the stranger drags me toward the front door.
He lets go of my hand and digs inside his jacket pocket, probably looking for a key. I immediately miss his warmth and step closer to his back. He doesn’t notice my closeness as he finally grabs the key and unlocks the door.
I don’t know why I was worrying a minute ago about following this guy.
Up close, under the glow of the porch lamps, I can see he’s more than a foot shorter than me, the top of his head brushing the center of my chest. His drenched clothes reveal a lean, lithe figure.
It’d take ridiculously low effort for me to tackle this guy and pin him underneath me. If I were to grip his wrists like he gripped mine, he’d never be able to break out of my hold.
“What are you waiting for?” the guy says, breaking me out of my thoughts. “Get inside already.”
Looking ahead, I see that he’s already entered through the door and waiting for me inside a lit hallway. “Hurry,” he urges.
Digging my hands into my jeans pockets, I walk forward.
“Let’s keep our shoes here,” he says, taking off his sneakers. “I don’t want to make a mess of the living room with all the seawater and sand.”
I do as he instructs and follow him down the narrow corridor.
Entering the living room area, I look all around me, taking in the old-fashioned décor. Lace curtains cover the tall windows while mismatched furniture dots the place. All the cushion covers are crocheted in a myriad of bright colors.
“Here, dry yourself,” my strange companion says, suddenly throwing a lumpy towel at me.
I grab it before it can smack me in the face.
“Nice catch!” he says, grinning.
For the first time, I allow myself to take a good look at him.
Soft, golden curls frame his heart-shaped face. His eyes are a bright blue, reminding me of a mid-summer sky. His skin is flawless and has a natural tan, like he spends a good amount of time walking along the beach. As he smiles, my gaze gets stuck to his luscious pink lips.
Damn! He’s beautiful , my mind whispers.
“So, what’s your name?” he asks, jolting me out of my thoughts.
“Does it matter?” I ask, my voice sounding deeper than I meant it to be.
His smile falters. A sober expression comes over him as his shoulders slump. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to pry. You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to. I just need you to relax, okay? You’re safe here.”
I simply stare at him. He should be the one feeling unsafe with a man who’s twice his size with the ability to break bones.
“I’m Liam, by the way,” he says, giving me another smile that sends warmth shooting through me. “I’ll get you some dry clothes so that you can get out of those wet ones.”
With that, he turns around and disappears down another corridor.
I use the towel to rub my dark, wet locks. By the time, I’ve peeled off my wet shirt, Liam strides into the room with a stack of clothes.
His expression dims the moment his gaze lands on my naked torso. Walking closer to me, he stares at the bruises that mark my skin. Most of them are from the game I played this afternoon while the others are older, healed scars.
“Who did this to you?” he asks, his voice shaking with rage. His gaze is now firmly fixed on my cut lips, the freshest of my wounds.
He probably thinks I got beaten up by bullies.
Technically, I did but I also returned my own hits, injuring at least three players in the opposing team. Only my dad got to walk away without facing any retaliation.
“Doesn’t matter,” I say shortly, snatching the clothes from Liam’s arms. “Do you want to stay here and watch while I strip?”
“What?! Of course, not!” A faint blush spreads on his cheeks as he steps back. “Go ahead and change while I get you something hot to drink. And if you want to use the bathroom, it’s down that way.” He gestures toward the corridor he’d disappeared through earlier.
Without looking back, he heads that way.
Surrounded by wicker chairs, antique décor, and crocheted cushions, I feel like I’ve been transported to a world that’s far from the cold whisper of ice underneath my feet, the loud war cries of hockey fans, and the harsh glares of rink lights.
After the fight with Dad, I drove blindly until I found myself cruising along a beach in Long Island. I must’ve driven for at least an hour to be transported here from the university campus.
After shedding my damp clothes, I put on the stuff Liam gave me. Everything’s ridiculously tight on my broad, muscular six-foot by three-frame.
Shaking my head, I grab my clothes and head down the hallway to look for him. The sound of clinking metal leads me to the kitchen where Liam is stirring something on the stove.
“What are you doing?” I ask in a gruff voice.
Turning around, he greets me by lifting a spatula. “I wanted to make us some hot chocolate but I’ve run out, so I’m cooking some ramen noodles. It’ll warm us up and fill up our bellies better than cocoa.”
Crossing the kitchen, I stalk toward him.
My menacing demeanor doesn’t faze him. He grins at me, his gaze sliding over to the lump of wet clothes in my hand.
“Give them to me,” he says, grabbing the clothes from me. “I’ll put them in the dryer for you.”
He walks past me but I grab his arm before he can take another step.
Liam looks up at me questioningly.
Pulling him closer to me, I fix him with a glare. “Why are you doing this?”
“Wouldn’t you be more comfortable in your own clothes?” he asks. “My stuff looks too small on you.”
Closing my eyes, I try to rein in my frustration.
“That’s not what I meant,” I say, clenching my jaw. “Why are you being nice to me? I’m a fucking stranger to you. Why bother bringing me into your house and feeding me?”
His casual demeanor slips away. “You can’t be alone tonight.”
“I could be a bad guy,” I say, tightening my grip on his arm. “How do you know you’re not helping someone evil?”
“Did you kill someone?” he asks in a calm tone.
“No.”
“Did you rob someone?”
I let out a frustrated noise. “No.”
“Did you run over a puppy and didn’t look back to see if he was okay?”
“What?”
“Answer me, Pirate,” Liam says with a grim look in his sapphire-blue eyes.
“No,” I reply through gritted teeth.
“One last question,” he says, starting to smile again. “Do you eat kittens for breakfast?”
An uncontrollable chuckle escapes me as I shake my head. “That’s ridiculous.”
“Answer me, dude,” Liam says, refusing to give up.
A huff escapes me. “No, I don’t eat fucking kittens for breakfast.”
Liam’s smile turns radiant, taking my breath away. He drops the wet clothes on the floor and steps closer to me. Raising his arms, he cups my face in both his hands. “Then, you’re most definitely not a bad guy, Pirate. You deserve someone to be on your side.”
My eyes widen at the intimate gesture.
“I’m gay.” The forbidden words tumble from my lips before I can stop myself. Now that they’re out, I stop breathing, watching closely for Liam’s reaction.
I wait for the familiar look of disgust I’m used to seeing on my father’s face but it never comes.
“Again, Pirate. Did you kill someone?” Liam asks, pinching both my cheeks.
My pent-up breath comes out in a rush as I chuckle again. I’ve never felt so relieved in my life. It feels like Liam’s taken a massive weight off my chest.
“So, you don’t mind?” I ask as he steps away from me and bends down to pick up my clothes.
“What an adult does with another consenting adult behind closed doors is none of my business,” he says, straightening up. “I’ll drop these in the dyer and be right back.”
Warmth, like I haven’t felt in years, washes over me. People like Liam don’t exist in my world. How the hell did I manage to come across someone as kind, caring, and fucking beautiful as him?
He comes back into the kitchen and directly heads to the counter. Putting another pan on the stove, he goes to the fridge and brings out some other ingredients.
I take a seat at the plain wooden table in the corner and watch him cut up hot dogs into small pieces and sauté them. Next, he fries up some eggs.
“Do you like spring onions?” Liam asks, his back to me.
“I don’t mind them,” I say, watching him divide the noodles into two bowls.
“Good,” he says, loading up the first bowl with the fried sausages and egg. “Spring onions just take these ramen noodles to the next level.” Turning around, he brings me the bowl. “Go ahead and eat it while it’s piping hot.”
“Thanks,” I say, inhaling the aroma of the steaming noodles.
I wait until Liam is at the table and then, pick up the spoon to taste the hot broth. It’s simple but the hot, spicy soup is enough to soothe my throat and warm me up.
“This is delicious,” I say, devouring the noodles.
Liam chuckles. “Glad you’re enjoying my cooking, Pirate.”
I pause, fixing my gaze on him as he pops a piece of hot dog into his mouth. “Why’d you keep calling me that?”
“You refused to give me your name, so I made one up for you,” he says, grinning. “I found you battling the waves like a pirate, so that’s the name I’m giving you.”
Suspended in this moment with Liam, I feel like I’m in a different universe.
Here, I’m just a regular guy enjoying a bowl of noodles with someone who’s a friend. I don’t have to hide who I am. I can be myself without the fear of being an outcast for simply being me.
Liam continues to eat without asking me anything. His quiet acceptance of me is like a balm, soothing the wounds I’ve always carried within me.
“Leave the dishes in the sink,” Liam says after a while, yawning. “I’ll wash everything in the morning. For now, I just want to hit my bed.”
“Oh, you want me to leave?”
“It’s past midnight, Pirate,” Liam says, stifling another yawn. “Of course, I’m not throwing you out of the house tonight. Especially, when it’s still raining so hard.”
It’s no longer thundering like before but I can still hear the sound of the rain hitting the glass panes of the kitchen window.
“Can I sleep with you?” I ask, wanting to see how far Liam’s acceptance will stretch. “I don’t want to be alone tonight.”
“Sure,” he says with a nonchalant shrug.
I follow him as he walks out of the kitchen and heads to the staircase at the end of the hallway.
“What were you doing out there tonight?” I ask as we head up the stairs.
“I was cooped up all day writing my report for a school project,” Liam replies with a backward glance at me. “I’m studying Physics at Kingston U, by the way. Anyway, I needed to get out of the house even though a storm was about to hit us. I was on my way home when I spotted you among the waves.”
He comes to a halt at the top of the stairs and turns around to face me. “Promise me you won’t do something like that again, Pirate,” he says in a grim tone. “Promise me you’ll fight no matter what life throws at you. If you need to talk to someone, you can count on me to listen.”
My chest tightens with a foreign emotion and all I can do is nod my head in reply.
Liam walks down the hallway and opens a door. “This is my room,” he says, striding inside.
I follow him into the room and find myself in a modest space that’s filled up with a bed, sparse furniture, and wooden shelves crammed with thick books. Superhero posters, especially of Spiderman, cover most of the walls.
A smile comes onto my lips as I realize my Liam is a hardcore nerd.
Wait...did I just think of him as my Liam?
“Night,” I hear a murmur and find him slipping under the covers.
I stand by the bed, feeling unsure whether to climb in beside him. Barely a few minutes pass by when I hear a soft snoozing sound.
Liam has already fallen asleep.
Surprise flickers through me. How can he sleep so soundly with a guy around who’s just confessed to being gay? I could yank the covers off his slim body and force myself on him right now and he’d have no way to escape me.
Liam trusts me , I realize with a start.
Another wave of warmth suffuses me, melting more of the icicles surrounding my heart, allowing it to throb with a powerful emotion. I’ve never felt this feeling of wanting to be around someone so strongly before.
With a smile on my face, I climb under the covers beside him and close my eyes. My exhaustion and the warmth of Liam’s bed easily lull me into a deep sleep, allowing me to escape my tormenting memories.