Page 91 of Pucking Strong (Jacksonville Rays #4)

“ W as it always this cold in here?” Jayla blows hot air into her hands, trying to warm them up. “I feel like it wasn’t this cold last time.”

On my other side, Natalie wears a puffer coat zipped up to her chin. “Serves you right for always thinking you need to dress with your tits out.”

Jayla tugs on the bedazzled V-neck of her Rays T-shirt, which only makes her ample cleavage more pronounced. “Don’t be jealous ’cause you got Auntie Deb’s flat chest.”

Nat scoffs. “Me jealous of you? Don’t make me laugh.”

Sandwiched between them, I can only groan. “Come on, no fighting. Please? We’re in full Operation United Front mode, remember?”

Jayla rolls her eyes, flicking her braids over her shoulder. “We know.”

“We’re here, aren’t we?” Nat adds.

It’s game night. Nat left the baby at home with Darius, bringing only her older girl, Evie.

She and Camila sit in the row in front of us, showing Karolina how to play a bubble-popping game on a tablet.

The intermission between the second and third periods is almost over.

Rays are down by one, but it’s been an exciting game.

They’re playing the Panthers, so the arena is a pretty even mix of red and teal. And completely sold out.

Checking the time left of the game clock, Nat grabs her purse. “I’m gonna go get the girls more popcorn. You two want anything?”

I shake my head. I’m too nervous to eat or drink.

“Get me some chicken tenders,” Jayla calls as Nat starts jogging up the stairs. “And French fries! Hey, and some of those roasted pecans!”

As soon as Nat is gone, Jay nudges me. “You okay?”

I just shrug, looking out at the ice as the Zambonis do their final pass, smoothing the surface back to shiny white glass.

Am I okay? It’s been a whirlwind two weeks since Henrik and I sat in Poppy’s office, feeling like our life was imploding.

In those two weeks, we’ve dealt with the second home visit, four away games, new PT regimens, and moving a full-time caretaker into the boat shed to live with Henrik’s parents.

It turns out that having a reporter take advantage of Maria’s confusion was the last straw for Henrik.

His dad fought it at first, but Alma is a retired nurse who plays cards and likes to garden.

She’s the perfect helpmate for Maria. It’s not a permanent solution, as Alma has plans to move in with her daughter over the summer.

But it’s a temporary fix that seems to be easing everyone’s minds.

Alma is there during the waking hours, helping around the house and in the garden.

She stays with Maria if Gunnar needs to go to the shops. And she monitors their medicine intake.

We don’t have the results of our home study yet, but the whole team and all the WAGs were willing to be put on an interview list for the case worker.

Hanna and Sam Torres were each interviewed again.

As were Tess and Ryan, Brady, Poppy, even Novy.

His interview was the only one we received immediate feedback on.

Cheryl blushed, shuffling her paperwork, and called him “quite a character.”

Cheryl also asked to interview my family.

They stepped up without hesitation. Shae said Cheryl interviewed Mama for over two hours.

When I expressed concern that Mama might sabotage the custody arrangement, Shae all but reached through the phone and smacked me.

“She loves you, Teddy. And she’s sorry for how that first meeting went down.

Return her calls, and she’d tell you herself. ”

Shae was right—I was being a coward. I was afraid not talking to my mother would somehow save me from hearing something I didn’t want to hear.

But all it really did was make me sad and frustrated.

It was Henrik who finally stepped in. Two nights ago, he pulled the jar of olives from my hand after dinner, replaced it with my phone, and pointed to the balcony door. “Call her. Now.”

I called my mom, and we talked late into the night. It’s not all fixed by any stretch, but it’s a start.

God, just when everything in my life was starting to feel settled, it’s all up in the air again!

We can’t think, can’t plan, when our life isn’t our own.

I mean, will Karolina even be with us for Christmas?

Or will they come and take her back to Sweden?

It’ll kill us both if they take her away.

I can’t even think what it will do to Karolina.

No, but Henrik’s right. We’ve done everything we can. It’s out of our hands. All we can do now is wait. Which just happens to be one of the many things I’m terrible at …

Jayla nudges me again. “Hey.”

I glance her way.

“You know we’re with you, right? Maybe we gave you a hard time at first, but that’s only because you surprised us. If you say Henrik is the one—”

“He is,” I say over her. “He’s the one, Jay. He’s my only one.”

She smiles. “Then I’m happy for you.”

The players skate onto the rink to the applause of the fans.

Jayla claps along with the music, watching them warm up.

It’s not hard for me to find Henrik. He skates past, working a puck on the end of his stick.

Making a sharp turn, he flicks it into the back of the empty net.

Fuck, he’s so beautiful. Even when all I can see is the bottom half of his face.

Next to me, Jayla hums. “You’re different with him, you know?”

“Different how?” I say, not taking my eyes from him.

“You’re more relaxed, I think.”

I laugh out loud. “Yeah, right.”

“You are,” she says over me. “You seem more sure of yourself. You’ve grown up, Teddy. Before, you were a boy. Now look at you—a husband, a daddy, a doctor. You’re a man now.”

I let her words sink in as I watch Henrik down on the ice.

She nudges me. “What are you thinking?”

“I’ve always felt like I was sort of blasting through life, you know? Taking risks, making mistakes.”

She laughs. “We all make mistakes. It’s called living.”

I shake my head, still lost in thought. “No, I was … I think I was afraid to really live, you know? At least, I was afraid to live as me. I teased Henrik for compartmentalizing, but I did it too.”

“How so?”

“I kept putting pieces of myself in boxes. Too loud? Put it in a box. Too emotional? In another box. I tried to be whatever people around me needed me to be. I did it so much, I think I forgot who I really was.”

Her expression softens a little. “And now you’ve remembered?”

I smile. “Henrik helped me remember. And Karro. There’s no such thing as too much Teddy for them. With Karro, I can be as loud and as silly as I want. I can bedazzle T-shirts and sing until I’m hoarse.”

She loops her arm in with mine. “And Henrik?”

I watch him skate past, warmth glowing in my chest.

With one look at my face, she’s pulling away with a huff. “God, forget I asked.”

I laugh, keeping her pinned at my side. “Don’t get me wrong, the sex is fucking epic. I mean, just the other day we were in the massage room at work and—”

“Nope. No way.” She waves her hand in front of her face. “To me, you’re still seven years old, wearing Superman pajamas, asking me how to make mac and cheese.”

“It’s not just about that,” I say, still laughing. “In fact, it’s not really about the physical stuff at all.”

She glances up at me. “What do you mean?”

“I mean that with Henrik, for the first time in my life, I tried to build the relationship first, no sex. I think depriving me of sex was the key needed to unlock me. Does that make any sense?”

“Unlock you?”

“Yeah, like, unlock my personality. I was so afraid Henrik didn’t want me sexually that it started to not even matter if he liked my personality. So, I just let it all out. He got the full Teddy treatment, with no filter.”

“And he stayed?” she teases.

I shrug my shoulder in my bedazzled WAG jacket, recalling the sweet words he whispered to me in the massage room. “I think he might like me just as I am. Go figure, right?”

She hums, clapping along with the music as the lights in the stadium lower.

“What?” I say, raising my voice to be heard.

She just smiles, shaking her head. “Oh, Teddy.”

“What?” I say again.

“I think he might love you.”

“ I thought you said we could get ice cream,” Camila whines.

“We have to wait for your uncle Henrik,” Jayla replies.

“But it’s right there!” She stomps her foot, pointing to one of the concession stands, which has pictures of ice cream posted on the wall.

“They’re shutting all these down,” Natalie explains, holding hands with Evie as I push Karolina in her wheelchair. Now that her arm cast is off, she’s using her crutches way more. But at these crowded home games, it’s nice to have her safe in the buffer of a chair.

The game is over. Rays lost by two. Now we’re working our way down the concourse towards the WAG room. “Henrik usually texts me by now. I don’t know what’s keeping him tonight.”

My phone buzzes in my pocket with a new message.

POPPY: PRESS ROOM. NOW. HURRY.

“Oh no.”

Nat looks over at me. “Teddy?”

“What’s wrong?” asks Jay. “You look like you’ve just seen a ghost.”

“Stay with Karolina.”

“What?”

“I said, stay with Karolina. I’ve gotta go!” Not waiting for their reply, I take off down the concourse.

“Teddy! Hey! Where the heck do you want us to go?”

“’Scuse me,” I shout, ducking around some drunk Panthers fans as they weave their way towards the stairs. “Outta the way!” I take the stairs two at a time, racing down for the lower level.

Majorie, the volunteer docent, stands watch at the press entrance as I sprint up. “My goodness. Everything alright, honey?”

I pat down my chest and all my pockets, trying to catch my breath.

“I—can’t find—fuck, my pass is missing.” Groaning, I press a hand to my forehead.

My arena pass is in the front pocket of my backpack, which is strapped to Karolina’s wheelchair.

“I don’t have my pass. Marj, I don’t … it’s not here. ”