Page 89 of Pucking Strong (Jacksonville Rays #4)

“ P ressure good?”

Lying face down on the massage table, I grunt something that sounds like assent as the PT intern, Cassidy, glides her thumbs up the column of my neck.

“You’re carrying quite a bit of tension,” she explains as she works.

Astute observation. It’s been a week since the social worker interviewed us all again.

A week and we’ve heard nothing. Before, it would have been in my nature to sit and wait.

Having Karro has changed that in me. Now there can be no waiting quietly while our fate is decided by other people.

I have to do something. I have to fix this.

I can’t just lie here with my head metaphorically in the sand.

“If you could just try to relax,” Cassidy says in a soothing tone.

But I can’t relax. If anything, my shoulders tighten as she pushes down with her thumbs.

“Why don’t we try taking a few deep breaths?” she offers after another minute.

It’s no use. Lying here is only making me more frustrated. I’ll get no relief from a massage today. I have to get up. I can’t call Cheryl and it’s too late to call Elin in Sweden. Perhaps I’ll go for a run.

“Is something wrong, Mr. Karlsson?”

Before I can reply, the door opens.

“Knock knock, asshole.” Novy lets himself in, turning up the dimmed lights. “Hey, you almost done in here, bud?”

Flustered, Cassidy steps back. “I—we have this room reserved for another thirty minutes, I think.”

“Really? Hmm, well, by my watch you’re done.”

“But I—”

“Tell you what,” he says over her. “I keep an open tab down at the coffee cart. Why don’t you go get yourself a little afternoon pick-me-up? Leave me and Karlsson here alone to talk hockey for a minute. Assistant captain stuff. Very secret.”

My groan echoes in the face hole. “Both of you can go.”

“Thank, Cass. You’re a treasure,” Novy calls, ushering her from the room and closing the door with a snap.

I sit up to find him leaning against the door, arms crossed. Muttering a curse in Swedish, I swing my legs off the table. Neither of us cares that I’m dressed in nothing but my boxer briefs. “What do you want, Novikov?”

He stares me down. “Do we have a problem, you and me?”

“No.”

He chuckles, dragging a hand through his hair, still damp from his shower. We finished up practice less than an hour ago. “Yeah, see, only I don’t believe you.”

“Why not?”

“Because you just called me Novikov. You guys only do that when you’re pissed at me for something … except Mars. He only ever called me Novikov. But even you call me Novy.”

I sigh, my shoulders prickling with all this unresolved tension. “It’s not about you.”

His eyes narrow. “Then what is it?”

I’ve skated with this man for six years now.

And while I wouldn’t say we’re friends, we’ve always been friendly.

He doesn’t mind my awkwardness, and he always invites me to things.

And yet, we’ve never shared in each other’s confidences.

Not once in over six years has he sought me out to ask me about my feelings or the state of our relationship. So why start now?

I cross my arms over my naked chest, glaring at him. “What’s your game, Novikov?”

He chuckles. “Aaaand we’re right back to Novikov. See what I mean? Okay, so spill. What did I do?”

“Nothing.”

“Sure. Except Coley has the emotional sonar abilities of a freaking dolphin, and he thinks you’re upset with me. I told him he was crazy, and he told me I had to come set a few things straight. Are you listening?”

I grunt with annoyance as he holds up a finger in my face.

“Number one, what’s happening with your niece fucking sucks. I don’t know how you’ve been able to stay so calm about it. If someone was threatening to take my kids from me, I’d already be in jail for going full Punisher on their asses.”

I lean away, surprised by the vehemence in his tone. After a moment, I sigh, giving him my truth. “If I appear outwardly calm, you should know that it’s a thin mask I wear, growing thinner by the day.”

“I can well fucking believe it. Which leads me to point number two: I’m sorry about the massage stuff.”

“What?”

“You know, yanking your chain about Teddy and his magic massages. It’s no mystery that I like to tease.

Coley and I sort of get each other off on the whole jealousy kink thing.

Usually, it’s super fun. I swear to god, when that man gets wound tight enough, he can pound me into another fucking dimension—”

I scowl at him. “Fast-forward, Nov.”

He snorts, checking the time on his watch.

“Right. Well, that’s my point. It’s just teasing.

I have no interest in Teddy, Karlsson. It’s important to me that you know that.

Coley’s the only man I’ve ever been with.

He’s fucking it for me. He and Poppy are my world.

The rest is just my excess flirting energy,” he adds with a wave of his hand.

“It has to come outta me, or I’ll fucking burst, you know?

And you and Ted have just been easy targets.

But with everything else you’ve got going on, I don’t think you need to be teased right now.

By me or anyone else. So that leads me to point number three. ”

I sigh. “Christ, you have a third point?”

He grins. “I do.” His smile falls as he points beyond the door. “Whatever else happens with your kid, don’t fuck this up.”

I glance to the door. “Fuck what up?”

“What else, asshole? Teddy.”

Despite myself, my jealousy bristles at the look of intensity in his eyes. “Just say what you really came to say.” I can sense we’ve finally come to the heart of it.

He crosses his arms. “Alright, I will. When I look at you, Karlsson, do you know what I see?”

I hold his glare. “No.”

“I see myself. I see who I was six years ago, before Poppy and Cole flipped my life inside out. When I get scared, when things feel too heavy, I run. I’ve always been a runner. My running is a physical flight. You’re a runner too. But you run here .” He taps the side of his temple with a finger.

My racing mind trips at his accusation, and I let out an audible breath, leaning away in surprise.

Novy smirks. “Yeah, I see you running in there. You’ve been running for weeks.

Thinking, plotting, scheming, second-guessing.

But you and I are lucky, Karlsson. We picked partners who will run with us.

Hell, I imagine Teddy’s anxiety can run circles around yours all damn day.

But there’s something I’ve learned sharing my life with Poppy and Cole. ”

Apparently, I’m now accepting life advice from Lukas Novikov. “What have you learned?”

“The gift isn’t that they can keep up with us,” he explains.

“It’s not?”

He shakes his head. “Nope. The gift is that they’re the only thing in this life we wanna run to … not from. So run to him, Karlsson. Whatever else happens, never stop.”

Before I can respond, there’s another knock on the door and Novy leaps to pull it open. “Hey, there he is!” One-armed, he pulls Teddy into the room.

Teddy sees me all but naked on the table, and his eyes go wide. He glances between us, clearly looking for the other PT. “I … you told me to meet you here. Am I interrupting something?”

“Nope,” Novy replies, his tone cheery. “I only beat you here by a minute. Cassidy just left. Actually, this is a bit of a bait-and-switch situation. Classic Novy, right? I’m a scoundrel.

But hopefully this time you won’t mind because I’ve decided to donate my last Teddy massage to Karlsson.

Poor guy begged and pleaded with me for long enough that I just had to give in. ”

Teddy and I both stiffen, glancing from each other back to Novy. “But I can’t massage Henrik at work,” he says, his tone wary.

“Which is why the schedule will still read that it’s me in here with you,” Novy replies with a wink.

“When, in fact, I will now be sneaking up to Poppy’s office to fuck her on her desk.

It’s her own fault for wearing those heels with the ankle strappy things.

She knows I can’t resist. We’ll all taste a bit of afternoon delight, and no one needs to ever know. Deal?”

Teddy waits for me to make the decision. Novy’s last words fill my mind, taking up all the space I was using for worrying and over-thinking: Run to him. Never stop . Locking eyes with my Teddy, I hold out my hand. “Come here.”

He steps right past Novy, so easily drawn in by my quiet command. I part my knees and lure him closer. He doesn’t stop until his thighs hit the table. Then he’s in my arms, his hands brushing over my bare shoulders as I cup his face and kiss him, staking my claim.

I barely register the door closing as Novy leaves the room. After a few more moments of kissing, Teddy pulls away. “Wait. What really happened before I came in here just now? What did he say?”

I smile, brushing my thumb over his parted lips. “He apologized for teasing us.”

“Really?”

I nod. “I think he’s grown a conscience since Poppy and Morrow broke into his home and moved themselves in.”

He grins. “Hard to believe, but I think you might be right.” He glances around the room.

It’s little more than a repurposed closet, barely big enough for the massage table, with overhead lights set on a dimmer switch.

There are four of these rooms situated along the same wall in the PT suite.

“Should we … I mean, he was obviously joking, right? We can’t do a massage in here. We could get in trouble.”

Teddy speaks sense. Rules are rules. But now I have him in my arms, and all that worrying I was doing has finally eased.

My god, Lukas Novikov is right. With Teddy, it’s like the chaos of the world stops and my racing thoughts quiet.

With Teddy, I find stillness. Only with Teddy do I find peace.

I smile, brushing his locs off his shoulder.

“No more trouble than fucking you over the hood of my car at a public beach.”