Page 72 of Pucking Strong (Jacksonville Rays #4)

It’s not as if I didn’t know. Anyone can see the way they are together—laughing and singing and making jokes.

In those moments of play, he reminds me the most of Petra.

They’re so different in personality in all other respects.

But loving Karolina brings out the best in both of them.

Teddy is just the sort of joyous, fun-loving parent Karolina deserves.

I’ve been finding my own way into parenting, shifting from being the morbror she only saw on video calls and holidays to being a daily fixture in her life.

Ours is a quieter kind of love, the love of stillness.

Arms to hold her, words of comfort to share.

She goes to Teddy when she wants to laugh and play.

She comes to me when she’s tired, when she’s sad and grieving, when she needs the world to stop spinning quite so fast.

Both kinds of love are worthwhile. And Karolina deserves nothing less. I smile, glancing at Teddy. We really do make a good team. “She’s a very blessed little girl,” I say, giving his thigh a squeeze. “To earn your love is a gift not to be taken for granted.”

He inches closer. “Hen, I …”

“What?”

He swallows, his nervousness now like an aura around him. “I said it in haste to you before … at the restaurant. I kind of threw it at you, actually. Classic, Teddy, right? My emotions get the best of me, and I sort of just blast everything I’m feeling, like a firework.”

I can’t help but smile. A firework. It’s such a fitting analogy for my Teddy. He burns hot, spiraling in the air, bursting in a kaleidoscope of colors. He’s everywhere at once, requiring all my senses to fully take in his radiance.

“But I do feel that way about you,” he goes on, a giant blush on his freckled cheeks.

“I mean, I still do. I did then, and I do now. But I definitely should have finessed it better. I can’t just go around blurting those things out.

To Karro or to you. I need to be more measured, more controlled, more—”

“Teddy.” I squeeze his thigh again and he stops, my breath held tight. Still smiling, I lift my other hand and brush my fingertips down the locs on his shoulder. “Never make yourself smaller. Not for Karolina, and certainly not for me.”

He flashes me that nervous smile. “You gotta admit, I’m a lot. Especially for Swedish people.”

“You are just enough. You’re my partner, my husband. And you’re Karolina’s fiercest guardian. We’re lucky to have you, Teddy. I for one mean to continue earning the trust you’ve put in me. I will put you first—”

“And I’ll put you first.” He scoots closer, his hand covering mine on his thigh. “You and Karro. I mean, this can work, right? It’s crazy. How this all started is so crazy. It’s no wonder people gossip about us.”

“Let them gossip.” My anger still threatens to peak at the thought of someone saying cruel words where Karolina or Teddy can hear. “They mean nothing to us.”

He nods. “Yeah, they don’t matter.”

“Nothing matters but this.” I take his hand, placing it over my heart.

He splays his fingers, his body relaxing as he sinks closer to me.

I reel him in, one arm around his shoulders.

Yes, this is what I want. Everything else can be fixed.

This may have all started in a haze of grief and panic, but that now feels like another life.

Our families will forgive us. The press will ignore us.

So long as I have Teddy, it will all be fine.

In this moment, I just want him close to me.

I want him sharing my air. I want to be his air.

Pulling him to me, I kiss him, my lips parted and seeking.

He hums with relief, as if he too is starving for my affection.

I cup the back of his neck, breaking our kiss.

“I believe you promised me a reward for my good behavior today.”

He grins, his hands braced on my chest. “I did, didn’t I?” He leans closer, kissing me again. “You were such a good crab for me, baby. So patient.” Kiss. “So helpful.” Kiss. “And I can’t believe you actually let us paint your face like a rainbow tiger.”

I huff. “That’s what has you most surprised?”

“Attending the Rays’ annual Boo-tacular Trunk-or-Treat doesn’t seem like your jam,” he says with a shrug.

I let a glare seep through my contented expression. “You should be more impressed with how I made no comment while you made plans to stroke my teammate from head to toe. Thrice over.”

“Ooooh.” His grin widens. “Is that why you were being so weird with Novy? I thought it was some kind of protective thing, like you were trying to intimidate him for me.”

“Impossible. The only person alive who can intimidate that man is Poppy St. James.”

“But you were jealous,” he presses. “You’re jealous that I’m gonna give Novy a massage?”

“Three massages.” I hold up three fingers, still glaring at him.

Laughing, Teddy grabs my wrist and climbs into my lap.

With my fingers still held up, he reverently kisses the tip of each one.

Then he takes my hand and slips it back under his shirt, rubbing my palm up his bare chest. He arches into my touch, his hips grinding over mine.

Letting my wrist go, he places both hands on my shoulders.

“Trust me when I say there’s no reason to be jealous of me massaging Novy. Or anyone else on the team.”

“Is there not? I’m your husband, so you’re not allowed to massage me, remember? It’s hard not to feel like I’m being punished for having the audacity to make you mine.”

He rocks on my lap again, teasing me with a groan, as my cock hardens against my thigh. Then he runs his fingers through my hair, tipping my head back. “The rule is no massages at work . Novy was right. You’re the one to be jealous of here, not him.”

“Oh, yes? Why?”

He moves atop me, setting the fire in my chest burning brighter. Then he folds over me, kissing me, hands stroking. “Because you can have the full Teddy treatment anytime you want. All you have to do is ask.”

Weaving my fingers into his hair, I tug him gently back, breaking our kiss. “You would massage me too?”

“Baby, ‘too’ implies I’m gonna massage you like I massage your teammates. And I don’t typically massage my clients naked. You’re an exception.”

Stifling a growl, I sit up. Hands on his ass, I hold him to me as I stand. He gasps, the sound coming out like a laugh, as his arms wrap around my neck, legs around my hips. “Ohgod—”

Walking him forward, I don’t stop until we hit the wall. He groans, his head tipping back. Pinning him with my hips, I free a hand, wrapping it around his throat. “I’m the only exception. Say it.”

His smile is incandescent as he leans into the pressure of my hand. “You say it. Say the words, Henrik.”

I grind him against the wall. Christ, my heart is racing. I feel desperate. He makes me want to lose control. Or cede it. I know if I do, I’ll feel nothing but pleasure.

As he reads my mind, his smile is triumphant. “You’re aching for it, baby. You think I can’t feel your hard cock pressed against mine? You need release. Say the words, and I’ll give you what you need. Let me show you how good we can be.”

My senses are spinning as I try to remember how to form words in English. He does this to me. He twists me up, leaving me breathless and voiceless, completely incapable of thought. To go from feeling all but numb to life to this vibrancy? It’s almost more than I can bear.

Every moment with Teddy has been something new—joy, curiosity, anxiety, lust, need, peace, frustration.

He feels so much all the time. Like an electrical conduit, he transfers all his emotion into me.

When we touch, we become a completed circuit.

Feelings overflow from him into me. In this moment, I’m that cup with no bottom.

I want him to pour into me and never stop.

But his family is wrong about us. There’s no fear of me draining him dry. There is too much of Teddy to ever claim all of him. He’ll give me only what I need. He’ll take such good care of me. Someone as precious as him can do no less.

“Say it,” he teases again. “Say, ‘Massage me.’”

Those are the words he wants, but they’re not the words I give him. It’s time. I’m ready. I want to be his in all ways. I squeeze my hand at his throat and lean in, holding his adoring gaze. “Fuck me.”