Page 11 of Pucking Strong (Jacksonville Rays #4)

I sit back, Teddy’s hand falling from my shoulder.

Is this it then? Is this how I honor Petra and show Karolina my love, by letting her go?

It will break my heart, but it’s ultimately not about me.

Her care must come first. She could stay here in Sweden.

Better healthcare, better education. And they’ll still let me see her, talk to her, visit her.

But just thinking it has my stomach twisting in painful knots again.

I don’t want to be free of the burden of care.

If these last few days have shown me anything, it’s that I want Karolina with me.

If it means my life must change to care for her, then so be it.

I’ve had enough of thinking and living only for myself.

Next to me, Teddy crosses his arms. “Well, let’s get this over with then.”

Elin raises a brow. “Pardon?”

He waves a hand at the offensive folder. “Tell us about these amazing foster families. You say Karlsson needs to know all his options, so let’s hear ’em.”

With a nod from me, she opens the folder and takes out the first file. Her eyes dart as she reads. “This is the application for Oliver and Britt Berglund. He’s a grocery executive. And it looks like they have a dog.” She shows us a picture of a kind-looking couple walking a labrador on a leash.

Teddy nudges me with his elbow. “Hear that, Karlsson? She could get a lifetime discount on apples. Never mind that you could buy her a whole freaking orchard. And Karro’s afraid of dogs,” he says at Elin. “I asked her yesterday. Next.”

I stifle my smile as Elin flips to the next application.

“Hugo and Anna Ehrling,” she reads out. “He’s a florist, and she’s a labor and delivery nurse.”

Teddy scoffs. “Flowers attract bees, Elin. That doesn’t sound very safe, does it?

And Karolina is only five. She won’t need the talents of a labor and delivery nurse for a good long while.

Know what she does need? A physical therapist. Lucky for her, Morbror Henrik is friends with, like, fifty.

One is sitting right next to him. Next application, please. ”

I don’t bother hiding my smile now. Before this trip, Teddy always tiptoed around me like I was a sleeping giant. He was awkward and fumbling, dropping ice packs and saying odd things. But in this moment, he’s the one standing ten feet tall, letting me collect myself in his shadow.

Elin flips to the next application with an irritated sniff. “Erik and Kerstin F?llman, and their daughter Maria—”

“You know, I’m sensing a bit of a pattern here,” Teddy says over her.

She glances up. “Pattern?”

He leans forward, elbows on the table. “Yeah, it sounds like what the Swedish government wants is for Karolina to go to a nice little straight couple. Not very enlightened of them, is it? Families come in all shapes and sizes, you know, including single parents. I was raised by a working single mom, and I turned out great.”

“Unfortunately, according to the Swedish government, there are many benefits to the two-parent household,” Elin replies.

“I make no commentary on whether their assumptions are correct,” she adds before he can protest. “But I must work within the bounds of the system as they set it. That Henrik is unmarried does not help his case.”

“Fucking medieval,” Teddy mutters.

God help me, is this how I lose her? Because I’m unmarried?

I never thought to have a wife. I was always too busy building and maintaining my career.

Professional hockey players start young.

If you show any talent, you’re quickly funneled into the elite junior league teams. From there, the top players all compete for spots on the European professional teams or the NHL.

It’s been my life’s work to climb that ladder and stay at the top.

Outside of hockey, my teammates always made time for dating.

Eventually, most of them settled down to start and raise families.

It just never appealed to me. Perhaps because I’m as awkward with women as I am with my teammates.

Women may find me attractive, but our conversations stall when I sit in prolonged silence or try to engage them with talk about my interests.

I’ve learned through experience that discussing the comparative frames per second of different camera bodies is not exactly an aphrodisiac to … well, any woman I’ve ever met.

And sex has never been a priority for me the way it is for some of my teammates.

I don’t crave it. The few times I had sex, I felt bored the whole time.

I felt unattached, like my body was going through the motions while my mind was elsewhere.

I tried it, didn’t care for it, and haven’t felt the need to try again.

Now, it seems my disinterest in sex, love, and marriage may cost me the one thing I do care about outside of hockey. Lost in my thoughts, I almost miss it when Teddy says, “So you’re saying it would strengthen Karlsson’s case if he were married?”

Elin glances between us. “Perhaps.”

He shakes his head. “‘Perhaps’ isn’t good enough, Elin. We’re out of time here, remember?”

I grab his arm. “What are you doing?”

He shrugs me off. “If Karlsson were married to say, a doctor of physical therapy, trained to rehabilitate injuries exactly like the ones Karolina has, would that strengthen his custody case?”

My heart stops. “Teddy …”

Across the table, Elin raises a brow. “I assume this partner would live at home with the child while Henrik travels?”

“He would,” Teddy replies. “Oh, and would that matter? That he’s a he? I don’t know what the gay scene is like here in Sweden.”

She fully frowns now. He doesn’t know she’s married to a woman. “Despite the limited selection of foster applications I sampled for you, Sweden is accepting of gay couples adopting children, yes.”

“Cool, because I keep totally normal workday hours. And I won’t be traveling with the team. I could pick her up from school, take her to physical therapy, ballet, whatever she needs.”

I grab his arm again. “Teddy, I can’t ask that of you.”

He ignores me. “Karlsson will be there every moment he can, and I’ll fill in the gaps.

Naturally, she’ll have school, too, and her hobbies.

And I wouldn’t be some stranger or in-home medical aid.

I’d be her uncle’s legal partner. A two-person household, two incomes.

The millionaire hockey superstar and the board-certified doctor of physical therapy who specializes in injury rehabilitation.

Would that help him win custody of Karolina? ”

Elin glances between us again. “It would certainly help, yes.” Her gaze settles on me.

“But if the government suspects that you’re committing fraud to gain custody of a child, the consequences could be quite severe.

You would have to follow through with this and live as partners.

They would do a set of in-person wellness visits. ”

“We can make that work,” Teddy assures her.

“And this is for temporary custody only,” she clarifies.

“We’re deciding whether Karolina goes with you now or goes into foster care while her case is fully processed.

I warn you that the adoption process can be arduous.

There will be interviews with your friends and family, your coworkers, financial audits, a home study. ”

Christ, what is happening? I feel like several important steps were skipped here, like Teddy asking my permission first. Call me old-fashioned, but getting married ought to come with a conversation at minimum, right? Even a fake marriage to a colleague.

Squeezing tight to his arm, I rise and pull him off his chair. “I need to speak with you,” I growl in his ear. Elin has the good sense to turn her attention back to her coffee as I drag him over to the corner. I don’t care that other people in this cafeteria are watching us.

He grunts as I all but shove him against the wall. “Ouch—”

“What the hell are you doing?”

He dares to look confused. “What does it look like I’m doing? I’m helping you get custody of Karro—”

“By marrying me! Are you mad?”

He grins. “If by ‘mad,’ you mean brilliant, then yes.”

I groan. This has been the week from hell.

Too much is changing. Too much grief. Too many decisions I don’t want to make.

It’s all just too much. “I can’t—Teddy—” I claw at my chest, trying to free the words locked deep.

But I can’t speak, can’t express this fear, this loss, this creeping anger that chokes the air from my lungs.

Sensing my distress, Teddy steps closer. Grabbing my wrists, he lowers his voice. “Hey, just breathe.”

I shake my head, fighting his hold.

“Breathe, Karlsson. I know this all feels huge. So, let’s just break it down. One thing at a time, yeah? Right now, you need to compete with Bergdorf the grocer and the couple with the bees, right?”

I nod.

“You need stability and a two-person household—which I still maintain is bullshit,” he adds with a pointed glare.

“But you heard Elin the Mirthless over there. You’re out of time.

Karro will be discharged from the hospital any day.

The court’s not waiting, and apparently there’s a line of happy little Swedish families just itching to get their hands on a doll like her.

They want to take her and make her theirs. Is that what you want?”

“No,” I growl, twisting in his hold until I’m gripping tight to his forearms.

“Well, this is your best option to get immediate custody. I’m here, and I’m saying yes.”

I search his face. “Why?”

His eyes go wide with shocked indignation as he pulls away. “Why should you fight for Karro? Are you fucking kidding me—”

“No, why would you marry me? Why help me in this way?”

His expression immediately shutters. He does this a lot, I’ve noticed.

He changes his mood so quickly. One moment he’s confident and commanding, the next he’s nervous and retreating.

Now, he’s folded himself inward, shut up tight like a clam.

How I’d love to climb inside his head and know exactly what he’s thinking in this moment.

“It’s the right thing to do,” he says with a shrug. “You know, for Karro … and for the team.”

But I shake my head, still frowning. “This goes so far above and beyond anything a team would ever require, Teddy. This is your life. And you heard Elin, we’d have to make this legal immediately.”

“I know.”

“That means we would have to get married.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“We’d have to tell people.”

He shrugs. “That’s kind of the point, right?”

“Everyone would know. The team, the media, our governments, our families.”

At this, he falters slightly, swallowing his nerves. “Yeah, I mean, that’s cool with me, if it’s cool with you. And there’s no skeletons in my closet or anything. I’m totally clean and—well—I don’t mean like that. Not, like, with sex, obviously.”

My shoulders stiffen.

“No!” He waves his hands. “I said not with sex. You’re not even gay, right?

So that would be crazy. This would be a totally fake marriage.

I’m clean with, like, my record. I’m just a normal guy who likes sports and anime and helping people.

And I wanna help Karro … and you.” His nerves settle a little as he holds my gaze.

“I can help, Karlsson. Please, let me help you.”

This is more like the Teddy I remember from all those years ago, the distracted young man who walked into traffic and prattled nervously as he wrapped my shoulder with ice. He’s older now, more commanding and self-assured. But he’s also still the same Teddy.

Taking a deep breath, I give him one last chance. “You would really marry me?”

He considers for a moment. “I would, yeah.” Then his eyes shoot wide. “Oh god.” He looks around. “Is this a proposal? Are you proposing to me in this hospital cafeteria right now?”

I can’t help but chuckle. “I suppose I am.” Squaring my shoulders, I offer out my hand. “Teddy O’Connor, will you marry me?”

I can see the anxiety flashing across his face, and I don’t blame him.

This is reckless, and wild, and completely out of character for me too.

But I can’t be parted from Karolina. I won’t.

Not now, and never again. And I may hardly know him, but I trust Teddy.

He’s a good person. Noble, kind, loyal. If Teddy is saying yes to this mad plan, then so am I.

After a moment, he takes my hand. “Yeah, Karlsson. I’ll marry you.”

I give his hand a grateful squeeze, relief flooding me. “In that case, it’s probably best you start calling me Henrik.”