Page 100 of Pucking Strong (Jacksonville Rays #4)
“You listen to Norah Jones in the bathtub, Kendrick Lamar at the gym, and never the other way around.”
The crowd laughs as Teddy shrugs. “True.”
“You burn yourself every time you take something out of the oven. When you’re stressed, you only want to drink Diet Dr Pepper. You have a strict eight-step skincare routine, and I’m not allowed to ask you any questions about it. If there’s a risotto dish on the menu, you will always order it.”
He smiles. “All true.”
Folding the paper, I tuck it back in my pocket.
“But those are just things, habits and patterns, the little routines you live by. I know more now. I know the rhythm of your breathing when you sleep. I know the catch of your breath when you hear something that surprises you. I know the furrow of your brow when you don’t get your way.
I think I could chart the pattern of the freckles on your cheeks with my eyes closed.
They’re more precious to me now than the stars in the sky.
They are the constellation that guides me home.
To you. Always to you. Only to you. My life and my love, my only one. ”
Tears trail down his cheeks and I reach out, wiping them away with my thumb.
“We have a lifetime together to learn more trivia about each other. But the essential things won’t change.
I know you, Teddy. I know you and value you above all others, even myself.
You married me once when I was drowning.
You kicked for me, bringing me to the surface.
In marrying me again, I vow to keep swimming, to keep trying to be worthy of you.
I may not succeed, but I will always try. That is my vow.”
Silence answers my words as half the crowd reaches for tissues to dry their eyes. I glance around, suddenly feeling self-conscious. “What?” I glance to Teddy. “Was that not correct for a vow?”
He chokes on a laugh, snatching the tissue his sister offers him. “Are you freaking kidding me?”
The crowd laughs as he dabs at his eyes.
After I nod to the officiant, she continues. “Okay, thank you, Henrik. And Teddy, was there anything you’d like to say to Henrik?”
He huffs, tucking the tissue in his pocket. “Sure, no problem. I’ll follow that.”
The crowd laughs again.
Cleaning his throat, Teddy reaches out and takes both my hands in his. “Henrik, I’ve loved you for six long years. I loved you before I really knew what love was. It was a fanciful, dreamy kind of love. The kind of love you get lost in while soaking in a bathtub, listening to Norah Jones.”
There are a few chuckles out in the crowd.
“I had you up on a pedestal in my mind,” he goes on.
“You were perfect, my own masterpiece. I set up ropes and added alarms. I could look, but I couldn’t touch.
I think I was afraid that if I made you more human, you could hurt me.
Worse, you could actually want me. Worse still, you could think you want me, learn more about me, then not want me anymore.
I think that was my biggest fear, finally being seen by you …
and having nowhere left to hide. Even once we were married, I hid pieces of myself away.
I tried to play it cool and pretend like I wasn’t dying inside every time you looked at me, every time you touched me. ”
His words hurt my heart, to know how he suffered in those early days.
As if he can read my mind, he glances out to the crowd. “Don’t worry, this story has a happy ending.” He gestures to me with a wave of his hand. “See? I got him. He knows everything about me, down to the freckles on my face, and he loves me anyway.”
There are cheers and applause at this, all our friends and family smiling, delighted for us and our love.
Teddy turns back to me, his expression sobering.
“No one else has ever loved me the way you love me. No one else has ever made me feel so safe to be myself, to be loud and messy and panicked and happy and stressed. You let me feel all my feelings out loud, all at once, all the time. Henrik, you are my safe place, my harbor, and my home. I never want to leave the comfort of your arms.”
Lifting his hands to my lips, I kiss first the ring on his left hand, then the ring on his right. “I love you, Teddy.”
“Oh god, I love you too.”
The officiant smiles at us, nodding down at Karolina.
I take Karro’s hand as the officiant continues.
“Nothing makes God happier than when people treat each other with kindness, love, and fairness. You’ve opened your hearts to each other and made a home for this girl you’ve vowed to raise together.
We here stand witness to your vows and commit now to help you see them through.
In return, we vow to be your community, your support, and your safe shore.
Lean on us, as you will undoubtedly lean on each other. ”
“We will,” Teddy says with a nod.
I squeeze Karolina’s hand, smiling at them both. “I will.”
The officiant nods, raising her hands. “Then, by the power vested in me by the State of Florida, I now pronounce you husbands. You may kiss, sealing the bond of your marriage.”
With a squeak of excitement, Karolina steps back.
Teddy trembles, his smile wide, as I pull him into my arms and kiss him soundly.
No word of my vows was a lie. Tasting him on my lips is like coming up for air.
I was drowning, and he saved me. I was lonely, and he brought joy and laughter into my life.
I was lost, set adrift, and he found me.
He reeled me in and moored me to him. We are bound now.
Irrevocably. Teddy is my life and my love. To the end of my days, he is my home.
“I love you,” he says, the words a brand on my lips.
Smiling, I kiss him again.