Page 40

CHAPTER 40

Tristan

R unning my hand over my parent’s tombstones, tears flow freely down my cheeks. My throat and chest ache from the grief running rampant inside me. “Hey, Mom and Dad. I can’t believe it’s been a year since I lost you.” My gaze moves to my sister’s gravesite. “Elaine. I miss the way we teased each other more than I can say. Life is so unfair sometimes.”

Bowing my head, my shaky hands lift to my Wolverines sweatshirt, fisting the material over my broken heart. Squatting down in front of their graves, my legs shake from the weakness permeating my body. My eyes are dry and achy from the tears I shed last night and this morning. Between Jordyn and the anniversary of my parent’s death, I’m not doing well.

“You’d be so disappointed in me.” My voice cracks, and I swallow multiple times, my throat constricting before I can go on. “I vowed to chase my goals and focus on hockey. Then I fell for a girl.” I heave out a sigh, bowing my head.

“I tried to resist her, but I failed. It wasn’t until I talked with Coach Jensen that I got my head straight and realized I could have both.” I lift my head, my eyes moving to each of their tombstones. “Things were going great until they weren’t. I was so hurt… So fucking betrayed by her actions, and now, I don’t know what to do.” I fall to my knees, the sobs taking over me. “I need your help. I don’t have a fucking clue what to do. My life is a train wreck.” I fall forward, my hands sinking into the cool ground.

I’m not sure how long I remain like that, sobbing my heart out while on my hands and knees in front of their graves, feeling more alone than ever. “I know I can’t have you back.” I sit back on my heels, wiping my face with my dirty hands. “But Jordyn… She made me feel things I’ve never felt. I could breathe around her. Her presence and love replace the vast emptiness that lives inside me since I lost the three of you.”

My breaths rasp in and out of my chest. My head tilts to the sky. “I’ve lost her, too.”

A warm hand squeezes my shoulder. It feels like a dream when a soft voice on my right whispers, “No, you didn’t.”

The mental fog clouding my head makes me think I’m hallucinating Jordyn’s sweet voice in my ear, her hand on my shoulder.

Turning my head, I see a pair of aqua eyes filled with tears. Sunlight cracks through the clouds, filtering around her and giving her an angelic aura.

I’m dumbfounded, blinking repeatedly, unable to trust what I see. “J-Jordyn?”

She nods, squatting beside me. “I’m here, Tristan.” Blowing out a breath, her earnest eyes shine with sympathy and concern. “I’m so sorry.”

I’m so pissed at her… but I need her. The weight on my chest has lessened by her mere presence. Her strawberry scent fills my nostrils every time I inhale, lifting my spirits. I know last night was shitty, but right now, I don’t care.

I reach for her, dragging her against my chest. Burying my face in her hair, my arms cling to her like a lifeline. When she hugs me back with the same intensity, I close my eyes and let go, unleashing the crippling grief inside me.

When I have no more tears left to cry, I pull back. She pulls tissues from the pocket of her hoodie and begins cleaning my face.

My hand wraps around her wrist, drawing her eyes to mine. “Thank you.”

She nods, sadness lingering in her eyes. “You’re welcome. I’m here as long as you need me…” Her head bows, golden hair shielding her face like curtains. “Then I’ll go….”

Fear and panic rise inside me. I remember all the terrible things I said to her last night, but in the harsh light of day, I realize I didn’t mean any of them. She hurt me when she lied to me, but I withheld information from her, too. She was making decisions based on fear and necessity, but I was the one who put her in that position, blindingly expecting her to trust me. “Please, don’t go.”

Aqua eyes dart up to mine, hope flashing in them. My hands push her silky locks away from her face. “I’m so fucking sorry for what I said last night, Jordyn. Although I don’t like you stripping, I understand why. It’s partially my fault for not revealing the truth sooner.”

“I’m at fault for lying to you.” Shaky fingers fidget with the string on my hoodie. “But when Robert revoked my funding, he pulled the rug from beneath me, taking my dreams with it. I swore I’d never put myself in that position again.”

Leaning forward, I press my lips to her forehead. “He’s such an ass. It’s no wonder you don’t trust men.” My hands cup her face, lifting it to mine. “I want to take care of you, Jordyn. I want to support you, helping you obtain your dreams.” My finger presses against her lips when she opens her mouth, effectively shutting her up. “I want to work through this because you mean so damn much to me.”

Her sigh as my thumbs skate over her cheeks causes my heart to flutter. “We have a lot to talk about, but I wanna work this out, Jordyn. I can’t live without you.”

She blinks, and tears course down her cheeks. “I don’t wanna live without you. I was absolutely miserable last night.” A bitter laugh escapes her lips. “I’m to blame for pulling away from you. Even though it was my fault, I missed you so much. Although I was shocked to see you at Sinful, I was glad to see your face.”

“I didn’t like seeing you on stage, taking off your dress. That fucking bra and panties should have been for my eyes only,” I growl, irritation drawing my brows in. “But, damn, you’re sexy as fuck when you dance around a pole.”

Her giggle makes my heart soar. Her smile fills me with warmth and repairs the broken shards of my heart. I know we have a long way to go, and serious conversations need to take place, but right now, having her by my side is everything.

She lifts her hand to touch my face, but I catch it, my eyes narrowing at her skinned palms. “What happened, kitten?”

“I fell on the pavement after you… left. It’s just a little brush burn.”

Sorrow fills me as I gently kiss her palms. “I’m sorry, kitten.”

“I missed you calling me that.” The serene smile on her face warms my heart. Her eyes are full of happiness as she waves a hand dismissively. “I skinned my knees, too. I cleaned them in the shower and put my ointment on them. It’s fine.” She nods at the three graves nearby. “Aren’t you going to introduce me?”

“I’ll kiss those wounds later.” My ass plops on the ground, and I pull her so she’s sitting between my legs. My arms wrap around her waist, and my chin rests on her shoulder. “Jordyn, this is my dad, Christian Harrington. My mother, Courtney, and my sister, Elaine.” A light breeze blows through my short hair. “This is Jordyn… The woman I’ve fallen in love with. ”

She looks at me over her shoulder, her expression soft. Her hands cover mine as they rest against her stomach, our fingers curling and intertwining. “I’ve fallen in love with you, Tristan.”

She nods in the direction of the three tombstones in front of us. “In front of your family, I’d like to apologize and promise you that if you give me another chance, there will be no more secrets or running away. If you want me to move out?—”

“No. That’s the last thing I want.” A genuine smile blooms over my lips. “I’d rather kick Josh out if he can’t deal. Fuck em. His daddy has money and would pay his rent somewhere else.”

Jordyn’s musical laughter rings over the hill, and my grief lessens. Although it still hurts, with her by my side, it’s manageable. “I like that plan. But please don’t think I’m with you because I need a place to?—”

My lips are on hers before she can finish that statement. She moans against my lips, twisting in my embrace. She pushes me onto my back and rolls on top of me, kissing me until I’m drunk on her essence.

I pull back when my lungs begin to burn, needing oxygen. “You’re under my skin, Jordyn. I can’t and won’t let you go.” I rub my nose against hers. “You’re stuck with me, kitten.”

Her smile brightens my dreary life, lessening my grief. “Good. Because you’re stuck with me, captain.”