Page 38

CHAPTER 38

Jordyn

O h my God. What the hell is Tristan and the Wolverines hockey team doing at Sinful Sirens?

Swallowing nervously, my eyes dart around the table of hockey players before searching the club. I breathe out a sigh of relief when I don’t spot Josh anywhere.

Maybe he’s in the bathroom. Once he comes out and sees me, it’s all over.

Tugging at the hem of my maroon dress, my attention snaps back to reality when I hear a group of guys whistling at me. I dare a glance at Tristan, who is throwing murderous looks at his teammates. Despite the fear coursing through my spine that my world is about to implode, I can’t help the thrill of pleasure from his jealousy.

As I move to my position in front of the pole, I can’t help but sneak another peak at Tristan. His jaw and fists are clenched on the table, throwing looks that could kill at the table of men yelling beside him.

Alex leans over, his hand on Tristan’s shoulder as he whispers something in his ear. Tristan’s Adam’s Apple bobs as he swallows hard, his green eyes flashing with betrayal and hurt when they lock with mine.

Even though I’ve been avoiding Tristan all week, I’ve missed him. Now that he’s here, I’m irresistibly drawn to the intensity in his gaze, his presence so close yet far away.

One of the waitresses walks over to the table Tristan is sitting at, her scantily clad body drawing the attention of his teammates. He ignores her, his full attention focused solely on me. She bends down in front of him, trying to give him an eyeful of her cleavage, but he shifts his body, his attention never wavering from me.

The music begins to play, and a flirty smile blooms across my lips as I roll my hips, then lower myself, the pole at my back, spreading my legs. Even though his nostrils flare and his face is red from anger, the heat in his eyes warms me from the inside out. I forget about everyone inside the club and begin seductively dancing for him.

His jaw clenches when I grab the hem of my dress and slowly glide it up my thighs. I wink at him before dragging it up my body and over my head, revealing the lacy maroon bra and panties. His mouth drops open, and he pushes his chair back, but Alex grabs his arm.

His teammates are too distracted by my performance to notice his reaction. But he’s throwing them deathly glares as they yell and scream as I perform. If Tristan had his hockey stick in his hands, he’d knock out every damn one of them with it.

When his eyes return to mine, I wink before my hand glides up the pole. I lift my weight, flipping upside down to do a split. I hear men hoot and holler as I wrap my left leg around it, extending my right leg and arms, arching my back.

Bringing my hands back to the pole, I bend my right leg so my left ankle rests on my knee, sliding down the pole before I release my legs and lower them to the floor. I whirl around, my hips moving to the beat, a smile blooming over my face at the impressed look on Tristan’s face. His eyes roam over my body, burning into my skin, setting me on fire.

I’m no longer performing for the men in the club. I’m dancing for him.

As I dance for him, I’ve never felt more alive. Realizing that I’ve fallen so hard for him hits me like a shot in the chest. I’ve acted like a damn fool for avoiding him all week. I’m desperate for this performance to end so I can talk to him.

When the song ends, I bow, a fake smile plastered on my face. My gaze moves back to Tristan’s seat, but it’s empty.

Frowning, my gaze locks with Alex. He shakes his head, disappointment all over his face.

Oh, God. What have I done?

My gaze roams around the club, but I don’t see him anywhere. I’m relieved I can’t find Josh, especially since I forgot about him while I danced for Tristan.

With a wave, I grab my dress and money before hurrying from the stage, tugging it over me as I walk. A sickly feeling is in my stomach as I exit the stage through the door, nodding at Gary as I make my way to the dressing room. Not bothering to change or remove my makeup, I shove the bills into my duffle bag, then grab the leather jacket I wore here, putting it on over my skimpy dress.

A commotion in the hallway causes me to still. My heart beats frantically inside my chest as I grab my duffle bag, then run to the dressing room door and whip it open. A furious Tristan stands in the hallway, arguing with Gary.

“Stop.” I rush over to the men, my heels clicking against the linoleum. Turning my pleading eyes to Gary, I say, “I know him. And I really need to talk to him.”

Tristan’s furious gaze bores mine as Gary sighs. “There’s nowhere the two of you can talk in here. You’ll need to take it outside.” He gestures for us to follow him, and I glance at Tristan as we move. The muscles in his jaw move, and his face is red from anger. I try to grab his hand, but he jerks it away, gesturing for me to go through the door first.

A lump is in my throat as I step outside into the cold night air. Grabbing the railing, I descend the steps until I stand on the pavement.

I whip around, facing Tristan’s wrath. “I’m sorry. I know this was a terrible way to find out I’ve been dancing?—”

His bitter laugh causes the words to die in my throat. “Terrible way? Are you kidding me with this shit, Jordyn?” He runs a hand through his hair, glaring at me, disgust contorting his face. “I can’t fucking believe you. You ghost me for a week. Then I come here tonight to celebrate my teammate’s birthday and get the fucking shock of my life when I see you on stage stripping.”

Humiliation burns my cheeks. Crossing my arms over my chest, I shiver from the coldness in his eyes that chills me to my bones. A light wind blows, but I’m numb to it. “Please, Tristan. Hear me out.”

“Hear you out? Oh, you mean like you did this week?” His voice drips with sarcasm. “I tried talking to you, but you froze me out.” The venom in his voice paralyzes me. “You downplayed what we had.”

His words cause agony to swell inside me like a wave. One word swirls inside my chaotic thoughts that spin around like water circling a drain. Had. Past tense.

“I’m sorry.” Tightening my arms over my chest as though they can miraculously keep the pieces of my heart from splintering, I stare at the guy I’ve been too scared to love, fearing I’ve ruined everything. I used Josh as an excuse to keep Tristan at a distance, but the truth is, I’ve been too scared to love since my dad passed away. I saw what his loss did to my mom. His death nearly destroyed her.

“Sorry, huh?” He shakes his head, his tone like acid. “I’m the one who is sorry. You played me for a fool, making me believe you were different. You drew me in, understanding my loss because of what you experienced. Although I promised myself I’d focus solely on my goals, I let you in. In the short time we’ve known one another, you crept beneath my skin and became a part of me.”

A tear slides down my cheek as his words pierce my heart like arrows.

“But it wasn’t reciprocated. You kept yourself at a distance, not allowing me in.” His voice cracks, a tear rolling down his cheek. “I fell in love with you, and you couldn’t even be honest with me.”

I fell in love … Agony swells inside my chest. He loved me, and I ruined it.

I try to find the words to make things better. “That’s not entirely true, Tristan. I let you in more than I’ve let any man in since…” I choke on the words, unable to finish them.

His stony stare bores into me before he folds his arms over his chest. “How long have you been dancing here?”

My breaths rasp in and out of my chest, knowing I can’t lie to him, but once I say the words, he’ll slip completely through my fingers. My hold on him is tenuous at best.

“A few weeks.”

“You lied about your whereabouts. Instead, you came here, stripping and showing what I thought was mine to other men.”

A sob bursts free from my shaking lips. “I need the money.”

“For what? You aren’t paying rent. You have a graduate assistant position.” He glowers at me. “You confessed that your mom gave you money.” He turns his head, his narrowed gaze locking on Sinful Sirens as though he wished he could burn it to the ground with a single look. “So why the fuck are you dancing here?”

The tears continue rolling down my face as I silently stare at him, knowing there’s nothing I can say that will make things right between us. I can’t tell him I’ve been saving money in case Josh finds out about us and kicks me out. It’s pointless now since there is no us.

A bitter laugh escapes him as he looks up at the darkened sky. “Lemme guess. You worried Josh would kick you out?” His head slowly lowers, waiting for my confirmation.

When I nod, he shakes his head. “You never trusted me at all, did you?” His hands clench into fists. “Here’s a secret I kept from you—I’m the only name on the rental agreement. That’s why Josh asked me if you could move in. He wasn’t being a polite roommate. He’s been paying me rent.” Anger burns in his eyes as he leans closer. “He doesn’t have the authority to kick you out. I do.”

I gasp, my hands flying to my cheeks. Shock has my mouth hanging open as I struggle to comprehend his words.

“If Josh found out about us, he could have threatened to kick you out, but he wouldn’t have been able to do it.” His breaths rasp from his lungs, passion burning in his eyes. “I fucking loved you, Jordyn. I would’ve tossed his ass out long before I asked you to move out.”

“W-What?” I squeak, my body numb from shock and pain.

“I didn’t tell you. I knew you’d feel obligated to pay rent I didn’t want or need. And once we became involved, a part of me needed the assurance that you cared about me . I needed to know I wasn’t a place to stay while you fulfilled your dreams.” Angrily wiping the tears from his eyes, his voice is like gravel when he mutters, “How fucking stupid am I to think you cared about me?”

I open my mouth, but he holds up a hand. “Save it, Jordyn. I don’t wanna hear it. I’ve been foolish enough.” The deeply pained look in his mossy irises guts me. “I thought you were special. Instead, you played me for a damn fool.” He whirls around, his large strides carrying him away.

I sink to my knees, trying to force his name through my dry mouth and lips, but the only thing that comes out is heart-wrenching sobs. The cold, hard blacktop cuts the skin on my knees, but I’m barely cognizant of it over the breaking of my heart.

I’m not sure how long I sob, my hands planted on the parking lot, my grief over losing him dulling my senses, making me oblivious to everything except the soul-deep agony that drowns me.

A large hand wraps around my arm. Alex’s soothing voice whispers in my ear. “Come on, Jordyn. I’m taking you home.”

As he lifts me to my feet, I shake my head, drowning in misery. “I don’t have a home. I don’t have anything.”

Alex squeezes me against his chest. “Yes, you do. Tristan is upset and hurt. Rightfully so.” He pulls out some napkins from his pocket, handing them to me. “Clean up your face. Where are your keys?”

I blankly look around, spotting my duffle bag on the ground. I have no idea when I dropped it. I think it was when Tristan and I began arguing, but I’m unsure.

Pointing to it, I hoarsely whisper, “Outside pocket.”

Alex nods, carrying me to my bag. He easily scoops it up before he heads to my car. My head falls against his shoulder, the tears overwhelming me yet again.

As he opens the passenger door and sets me on the seat, I lift the napkins he’d given me to my eyes, wiping the tears from my face. “Where are you taking me? ”

“To my house. It’ll give Tristan time to cool down.”

My chin quivers. “He h-hates me, A-Alex. He’ll k-kick me out, and I don’t b-blame him. B-But I don’t c-care about t-that.”

My throat closes, but I force the words out anyway. “I’ve lost him. Forever.”