Page 36

CHAPTER 36

Tristan

O nce again, I could barely focus on practice, which cost me. Coach Jensen put me through the wringer, making me run through drills repeatedly. Alex smirked at me and whispered at me to get my head in the game and off pussy. I tried unsuccessfully to focus.

As I skate off the ice, anxiety courses through me. The fear of Jordyn being a distraction is coming true. I don’t like it, but I can’t walk away from her.

As soon as practice ends, I rush through my shower and change into sweatpants and a long-sleeved tee before racing out. Alex shakes his head but knows better than to say anything, especially with Josh suddenly paying attention to me. During practice, he commented about me being distracted and asked what was wrong. I lied and told him I was struggling because of the anniversary of my parents and sister’s deaths, which was only a week away. Thankfully, he seemed to accept my response.

I stare at the dot on the app, which shows Jordyn’s phone’s location. I rush inside the rec center and head toward the room offering a group fitness class. Jordyn’s blonde hair glistens beneath the fluorescent lighting as she heads toward the restrooms. I drag her into the first available room, which happens to be one of the supply closets.

“Jordyn, I need to know what the hell is going on.” Running a hand through my hair, my breaths rasp from my lungs from sprinting over here. “Why are you avoiding me?”

Her eyes drop to my chest. Crossing her arms over her chest, she chews on her bottom lip, not saying a word.

“Did I do something wrong?”

Her gaze lifts to mine, and the sadness in her aqua eyes guts me. “No.” She shakes her head, her blonde ponytail whipping back and forth. “It’s just… I think we’re moving too fast.”

Too fast? Where the hell is this coming from?

“What brought this on?”

She heaves out a long sigh. “This is fun and all, Tristan. But we’re opposites. Not to mention that my stepbrother can’t know about us.”

I open my mouth, almost blurting out what I’ve been holding inside, but then shut it. I don’t want that to be a deciding factor for us. I need to know she really cares for me, and right now, I’m having too many doubts. “Why now?”

“Chelsea noticed and made a comment. It made me think….”

I scowl at her, irritation coursing through my veins. “So that’s what you do, huh? When things get heavy, you run.”

Her arms drop to her sides before they move to her hips. She glares at me, her body vibrating from anger. “You’re a fine one to talk. Ironically, you’re criticizing me for what you’ve already done.”

My hand goes through my hair again, tugging at the roots. “Yeah, and I apologized and learned from it.” I step closer to her. “I really care for you, Jordyn. This…” I gesture between us. “It’s not a joke to me. We’re both risking a lot. I thought we were on the same page and believed it was worth it. ”

She doesn’t say a word.

“I guess I was wrong.” Swallowing hard, my stomach hardens from the hurt welling inside. Shock and disbelief course through me as I stare at the only woman I’ve ever loved. The one that lights up the darkness, pulling me from it.

Without another word, I spin on my heel and exit the closet. My lungs constrict inside my chest, making it hard to breathe, as I exit the rec center.

Sucking in a breath of the cool September air, my thoughts are bleak. I clench my teeth as I stumble in the direction of my vehicle, my shoulders hunched from pain. I try to convince myself it’s not as bad as it seems. That I won’t always be alone.

Unlocking the door, I slide behind the steering wheel, letting the misery swallow me. My chest is as hollow as my sluggish heart.

Alone.

I’m destined to spend my life alone.