Page 42 of Prudence (Balfe Family #1)

Milly

In the space of a second, my entire history with Derek flashed before my eyes.

Every moment of yearning, every instinct I’d denied, every time he touched me and I’d wished for him to never stop, it was all there in vivid technicolour.

I just barely had the ability to open my eyes and ensure the front door was closed before his tongue slid along mine, and his deep groan had me gripping the collar of his shirt in both hands and tugging him closer.

I was running on pure adrenaline when I curled my leg around the back of his knee, bringing the thick, hard length in his pants flush with my centre and sending tingles right to my core.

“ Milly ,” my name was a puff of air leaving him before his lips returned to mine, kissing me like he was desperate for my taste.

One of his large hands gently closed around my throat, tilting my head back for greater access, while his other hand went to my thigh, caressing the outer curve before venturing inward.

In less than a second, he had the skirt of my dress shoved up, his fingers whispering over the delicate silk of my underwear, and my entire body undulated in response.

I wanted him to touch me—my inhibitions had left the room—and when he roughly commanded, “Open your eyes,” I did as I was told, never dropping my gaze as his fingers pushed past the barrier of my underwear to my slick centre.

Derek’s gaze simultaneously darkened and lit ablaze when he discovered my wetness, and I shivered when he softly thumbed my clit before sinking two fingers inside me. My head fell back against the hard wall as a moan escaped me, and I closed my eyes. This was … heaven.

“Don’t do that,” Derek whispered. “Keep them open.”

I opened my eyes once more, heat encapsulating me as the smouldering embers in his dark gaze burned bright. Derek Balfe had his fingers inside me. How was this real?

“That’s it, Camille. Fuck, you’re soaked,” he groaned, and I loved how vocal he was, how he was so lost in me that the words just seemed to tumble out of him in an endless stream of adoration and praise.

“You feel incredible. I knew it would be just like this. I can’t believe how beautiful you look right now. Come for me.”

I was going to come—and soon. I hadn’t had sex in over ten months, and even then, the sex was entirely ordinary.

Whatever was happening with Derek right now was so far from ordinary I wasn’t sure I was equipped to handle much more than his hand down my pants.

The very idea of having him inside me was enough to make my head spin.

“That’s it, let go,” Derek encouraged, alternating between watching me and pressing needful kisses along my neck and jaw.

“Derek,” I cried, my release building. His thumb circled my clit, and my inner walls undulated.

He swore under his breath, feeling it on his fingers and circling harder until I let out a pleasured gasp at the very moment my orgasm hit.

Waves and waves of bliss washed over me as Derek stared and stared, drinking me in like I was a miracle unravelling before his very eyes.

“You are …” he trailed off, words failing him before he finally continued, “A dream. This must be a dream.”

Deep pleasure settled over me to be so adored.

I still held his shirt collar in my grip and used it to pull his mouth to mine.

Against his lips, I whispered, “Not a dream,” and then I kissed him again.

Derek grunted when I licked into his mouth, feeling pliable and loose after my orgasm.

Self-consciousness had yet to trickle in as I let one hand drop from his collar to the crotch of his jeans to palm his erection.

The thick length made me clench my thighs together with need. I wanted to feel him.

“I’m going to carry you up to your bedroom now,” he said, breaking the kiss and meeting my gaze as though waiting for consent.

It was on the tip of my tongue to say, Yes, please, have your way with me , but then a tendril of apprehension floated in.

Were we moving too fast? Was I doing all this because spending the last few hours with him had my endorphins flowing, zapping away my inhibitions?

No, I would’ve wanted Derek to kiss and touch me no matter the occasion.

But there were other considerations, such as the fact that I still hadn’t come clean to him about Aunt Nell, not to mention he might not realise his daughter was holding onto hope about him getting back together with her mother.

“Wait,” I said, my voice a wisp of air as I pressed a hand to his deliciously firm chest.

“What is it?” he asked, breathless, and distracting me when his hand slid along my stomach then up to cup my breast. His thumb swept across my pebbled nipple and my brain short-circuited for a second.

“We still haven’t … haven’t had a chance to talk properly.”

He stilled, though his hands remained right where they were. Derek tilted his head. “You want to talk now?”

I grimaced then chuckled. “No, not particularly, but I think we probably should. There are also your kids to consider.”

His expression sobered. “What about my kids?”

Oh, man, I really knew how to kill a mood, didn’t I?

I wet my suddenly dry lips. “Well, I’m not sure about your son, but I was in the car with Gigi earlier, and she was speaking about her mother and wondering if you two would ever get back together.

It’s clearly something she secretly hopes for, so I think whatever next steps we take will have to be tentative. ”

His expression was crestfallen, and I suddenly wished I hadn’t said anything. Derek stepped back, his touch falling away as he dragged a hand through his hair. “I had no idea she was thinking like that.”

I reached for him, pulling him back to me and wrapping my arms around his waist. “Are you all right?”

His eyes met mine, and they were full of self-recrimination. “Paloma and I will never be getting back together. I thought Gigi understood that.”

“It’s hard to know what’s going on in kids’ heads sometimes.”

“She’s been so much better lately,” he went on. “I don’t want to … I can’t jeopardise that.” He looked so apologetic that my heart sank.

“It’s okay,” I whispered even while a crack formed in my chest. “I understand.”

“No, no, we’re not … I’m not giving you up. Not again.”

“It isn’t that simple, Derek. We both have children to consider.”

His expression was determined. “We’ll make it work.

We’ll figure this out. I can’t lose you.

” His hands sank into my hair before sliding down my spine and wrapping around me, returning the hug.

We stayed like that for a long moment before I tried to break the tension with a little humour.

“So, I guess you were lying when you said you wanted to check the quality of the repair work on the ceiling?”

Derek chuckled low, some of his tension fading when he released me from the hug. “I wasn’t lying. Show me.”

Something about the way he said “Show me” had a shiver dancing across the back of my neck, heating the tips of my ears. Maybe it was the fact that he’d just given me the most incredible orgasm, but suddenly, my brain was interpreting everything he said through a filter of sex.

I cleared my throat. “All right, let’s go take a look, then.”

***

Satisfied with the repairs, Derek went home a little while later without visiting my bedroom. Yes, I was disappointed, but at the same time, I understood why he’d pulled the brakes. He needed to be mindful of his daughter and take things at an easy pace for her sake.

It was also why I decided against bringing up the subject of my aunt.

I’d been planning to come clean with Derek about everything that had happened in the past, but I could see he already had a lot on his mind.

I’d find a better moment to talk everything through, though admittedly I was stressed about the possibility he’d be angry with me.

Not only because I’d allowed my aunt to influence my choices but because I’d never told him what I knew about his father.

Just before he’d left, we’d stood on my doorstep, and he’d cupped my jaw, kissing me so thoroughly it made my toes curl and my stomach flurry in a way that took hours to settle down.

I thought of his intense expression and earnest face when he’d told me he wasn’t going to let me go this time. Whenever I remembered, my stomach would flurry all over again.

Over the next few days, we saw one another a couple of times but never for long enough.

Derek was busy with work, making sure everything was running smoothly with his father now retired.

He barely had a moment of spare time. In a way, I was relieved because it meant I could delay our inevitable conversation about our past and my aunt for a little while longer.

On the other hand, I yearned to be alone with him.

The few minutes of hastily shared bliss in my hallway after the concert wasn’t nearly enough.

With his busy schedule, I didn’t expect to see him at our next guided meditation class.

Then, as I settled down onto my mat a few minutes before the class started, I turned my head just as Derek lowered onto the mat next to mine.

He’d once again abandoned his spot at the back of the class, and my belly whirled at the sight of him.

He looked tired but handsome. His hair was rumpled, and the T-shirt and shorts he’d changed into after being at the office caused my attention to go to his waist. Or, more specifically, his crotch.

Okay, Milly, eyes up please.

“Hi,” I breathed, meeting his sexy gaze while air got trapped in my lungs. The way he stared at me in my tight, long-sleeved yoga top and leggings had my entire body breaking out in tingles.