Page 15 of Prudence (Balfe Family #1)

Just like that, the tight leash on my willpower snapped.

In a matter of seconds, I slipped off my shoes before pulling off my shirt and jeans.

I was across the room, lowering onto the bed and crawling in behind her before she had a chance to change her mind.

I wrapped my arms around her middle, and it felt so right, so natural, to just hold her.

“Hmm, this is nice,” she murmured, sinking back into my embrace, her round backside cushioning against my crotch.

Yep, real fucking nice. A million X-rated images flashed behind my eyes, endless desires I’d been suppressing pushing to be unleashed. But I resisted.

A moment of silence passed before she said, “Derek?”

“Yeah?”

“What did Aidan mean when he said you’d turned into a monk?”

Her question caught me off guard, and I considered making something up, but then I merely found myself answering honestly, “It’s because I haven’t been with any girls in a while.”

“Oh.” A pause she seemed to consider what to say next. “How long of a while?”

It was ridiculous, but I could’ve answered her question right down to the number of days.

It had been one year, three months, two weeks and five days since I’d last thought about anyone other than the woman currently nestled in my arms. The very same amount of time since I’d offered a rain-drenched Milly a lift home in my car.

In the end, I responded with a vague, “A little over a year.”

I heard her inhale. “Right.” She seemed to stiffen, and I suspected she didn’t know what to say. She was too smart not to understand why I’d been living like someone who’d taken a vow of abstinence.

I placed a kiss on the back her head and whispered, “Go to sleep, Camille.”

It took a few minutes for her to relax, and I felt it when her body loosened and her breathing evened out as she fell asleep. It wasn’t long before I drifted off, too, the sounds of my sister and our friends still partying downstairs muffled behind the closed door.

I sensed we’d been asleep for a long time when I blinked my eyes open and peered across at the digital clock on my nightstand.

It was almost midday, but I didn’t want to move, mainly because Milly’s head rested on my chest, her hands on my abs.

She’d turned towards me in her sleep, as though drawn to touch me, her legs entwined with mine.

I wasn’t complaining. Her lashes cast shadows across her cheeks as she breathed deeply.

The curtains were drawn, the room encased in blessed darkness with only a thin sliver of light breaking through.

I refused to end the moment of bliss with the girl I was hopelessly in love with so close to me, invading all my senses.

The smell of her wildflower shampoo and her warm cheek pressed to my bare skin was a heady combination.

Unable to stop myself, I pushed some of her dark tresses away from her face then smoothed my hand over her shoulder.

Nothing felt more right than this.

Unfortunately, the movement woke her. Her eyelashes fluttered, an adorable frown marring her brow as she clearly tried to recall where she was. Then she looked at my bare chest, her eyes flaring wide before she peered up, and our gazes clashed.

I love you. Don’t go to London. Stay here with me forever.

All the things I yearned to say to her got stuck in my throat as she breathed, “Derek? What time is it?”

“Almost twelve. We slept late.”

“Oh,” her pretty lips formed a rounded shape as she shifted off my chest, and I mourned the loss of her.

I stared down at her, amazed by how beautiful she still was, even sleepy eyed and hungover.

“Was there somewhere you needed to be?”

“What? No, I just … didn’t expect to wake up in your bed.”

I frowned. “Do you remember last night?”

“Bits and pieces,” she confessed. “I went a little harder on the vodka than I normally do.”

“We didn’t have sex,” I was quick to inform her. “Just in case you were wondering.”

“I know that. Pretty sure I’d feel it if we’d had sex last night,” she blurted then immediately covered her mouth. Her face crinkled in a wince. “Oh, God. Forget I said that.”

“You don’t have to be shy with me.” My voice was gruff as I forced myself not to think of all the ways I wished to be with her.

Selfish instincts. Milly might not be ready for sex.

It took a long time for some people, and I’d rather castrate myself than force her to do anything she wasn’t ready for.

I was relieved I hadn’t given in to my desires last night, glad I’d merely held her while she’d slept instead of trying to kiss her.

Because there was no way kissing Milly in my bed while half naked wouldn’t lead to other things, especially when we were both less inhibited due to alcohol.

“Yes, well, anyway, thank you for being a gentleman. You always are.”

She gazed up at me, her eyes full of adoration.

My heart gave a swift thud when her hand went to my forehead, gently smoothing my hair back.

It was an automatic touch, one of affection.

I let my head fall to the side, giving her full access to caress me as much as she wanted.

There was nothing she could ask of me that I wouldn’t be willing to give.

“I’ve always wanted to do this,” she said, her expression one of longing.

“What?” I asked, my voice heavy with arousal. “Touch my hair?”

She giggled lightly. “Pretty much. It has a very touchable texture.”

“You can thank my barber,” I responded then groaned when her nails scraped gently at my scalp. Just like that, her eyes rounded. She hadn’t expected me to make such a pleasured noise. I cleared my throat. “Sorry,” I murmured. “It just feels really good.”

Something about the statement sparked a curiosity in her, and she continued running her fingers through my hair, like she was enjoying this just as much as I was.

Fuck, when she left, it was going to break me.

But maybe … maybe things didn’t have to be that way.

I’d never dream of trying to convince her not to go to London, but we wouldn’t be separated if I went with her.

I was certain I could transfer to a college over there and finish my degree.

I could get a part-time job at a hotel to pay my way, find a flat or a room close to where her aunt lived. It could work.

I wanted to blurt out my plan right away, but I held my tongue. There was no point getting her hopes up if I couldn’t transfer. I needed to research what courses I could qualify for and where I’d be accepted first.

Instead, I said, “I don’t know about you, but I’m starving. Want to go grab some doughnuts for breakfast? They do these maple bacon ones that Tristan says are amazing.”

Milly smiled. “Sure, let me get dressed.”

We drove to the doughnut shop in my car, stuffing ourselves with deep fried sugary goodness before I dropped her off at her place.

She seemed in a bit of a hurry to get inside, swiftly waving me away, and I noticed her aunt’s car was parked out front.

Milly was probably just embarrassed about going home in last night’s outfit and was in a rush to get inside before her neighbours spotted her.

She’d mentioned that the lady who lived two doors down was particularly gossipy.

Returning home, I found my sister in the living room watching a period drama in her pyjamas. She sipped on a beige, disgusting looking smoothie she’d probably convinced herself was a hangover cure.

“How’s your head?” I asked with a grin as I passed by the doorway.

“Killing me,” Nuala replied, wincing. “But last night was the best. So worth it.” She paused to study me. “Where did you and Milly go? You disappeared almost as soon as we got back here last night.”

“We fell asleep,” I told her, and a grin tugged at her lips.

“Oh, really?”

“We just slept,” I told her flatly. “You know it isn’t like that between us.”

Nuala barked a laugh. “Sure.”

I didn’t bother arguing with her because I didn’t feel like lying to my sister.

Instead, I went straight to my room, intent on figuring out if moving to London with Milly was feasible.

I was on my laptop looking up information when I realised I needed to check some of my enrolment papers from college.

Rifling through the chest of drawers where I kept all my paperwork, a small box fell out and I bent to pick it up.

It was one of those velvet jewellery boxes, and I couldn’t place it until I opened it up and remembered.

A pretty gold diamond ring lay inside—an engagement ring, to be precise.

My grandmother, Joan, had left it to me in her will.

She said that, as the eldest son, it was to go to me to propose to my future wife.

I’d only been thirteen when she’d passed away and had scoffed at the idea of asking any girl to marry me.

I’d never anticipated how my feelings for Milly would evolve to the point where I never wanted to be without her.

It was the whole reason I was sitting here, trying to figure out if I could move to London just to be close to her.

Bloody hell, I’d kissed her once. Once . We hadn’t even slept together, and I was head over heels in love. I was so gone for her I was staring at the ring in my palm, a wild idea forming.

Milly’s whole reason for staying friends was because she needed to focus on her studies.

But her exams were over now. Would she feel differently if I asked again, only this time, a much more serious question?

The way she’d looked at me this morning, how lovingly she’d run her fingers through my hair, savouring my pleasured reactions.

It was like she’d been unable to prevent herself from touching me.

Maybe she felt just as intensely for me as I did for her.

She was so shy and reserved that I wouldn’t be surprised if she were simply too self-conscious to tell me how she really felt.

No, when it came to Milly, I would have to be the one to make the first move.

But a move as life-altering as this? It seemed mad. No, it was bloody insane, but I was so certain of my feelings, so certain I never wanted to be with anyone else.

Only her.

Mind made up, I formulated a plan.