Page 14 of Prudence (Balfe Family #1)

Derek

I was in hell while trying to keep it together and plaster on a happy face.

Milly was leaving, and the thought was agony.

It’d been bad enough not seeing her while she was away in Spain this past month.

I’d thrown myself into work, focusing on learning everything I could about running a hotel so I didn’t spend time wallowing over her.

I’d never felt for anyone the way I felt for Milly.

And perhaps being friends all year was a mistake because being around her had only worsened the situation.

I needed her, craved her, wanted her, desired her.

All the things you weren’t supposed to feel for a friend, I felt for Milly O’Shea.

It also didn’t help that she was wearing a dress so short and tight it should be illegal.

I’d never seen her dressed so provocatively, her tan legs fully on display, her curvy hips begging for my grip.

The dress was the exact shade of deep blue I loved on her.

Her hair hung long and silky around her shoulders, and I had to battle the urge to gather it in my hand, wrap it around my knuckles like a rope and …

Okay, I needed to stifle that thought.

It was Leaving Cert results night, and we were all headed into town.

I remembered getting my results last year.

I’d gone out with the lads, and although there were lots of girls willing to get with me, I had zero interest. All my thoughts were with the girl who was at home, studying and doing chores for her parents, because that was Milly.

She put others above herself a lot of the time.

So, although the idea of her leaving fucked me up, I was also proud of her.

She was doing something for herself, starting her life and taking a step toward her future.

For as long as I’d known her, all she’d ever done was make sure her sisters were cared for so her parents could work to pay the bills.

Perhaps moving to London was the only way she’d finally break free of the feeling of duty to her mother and father and focus on what she wanted.

“So, where to?” Aidan asked when the train arrived at our destination. “I know a great club where—”

“We’re not going there again,” I interjected, knowing the exact club he was about to mention. It was way too rowdy for Milly and her friends, not to mention my sister.

“Just because you’ve decided to turn into a monk, doesn’t mean the rest of us have to,” Aidan argued, and I scowled at him.

Milly glanced at me, seemingly curious about what Aidan had said.

These last few months, he’d really started to notice how I wasn’t interested in getting with girls anymore.

Not since I began hanging out with Milly.

It had led to Aidan bestowing me with the nickname “Monk Derek.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t want to go anywhere that you approve of either,” Tara said, levelling her black rimmed eyes on Aidan.

The two of them were like chalk and cheese, constantly rubbing each other the wrong way.

And whenever my friend group hung out with Milly’s, Aidan and Tara were sure to get into a row over something.

“Of course, you don’t,” Aidan fired back. “You’d prefer to skulk in a dark corner listening to My Chemical Romance and plotting your next kill.”

That was one of his regular put downs. He often told Tara she had serial killer eyes, and she’d retort with something witty like, Yah, and I only kill brain dead party boys, so you’re next on my victim list.

It was honestly amusing to watch them go at it, but we didn’t have time for them to be at each other’s throats tonight. I hadn’t seen Milly in weeks, and I wanted to make the most of her company.

“Let’s just find a nice bar and get some drinks,” my sister said to break the tension. “Preferably somewhere not too far away. These shoes are killing me.”

“Here, take my arm,” Theo offered, and Nuala shot him a grateful smile before slotting her arm through his.

We found a place that looked decent, and I helped Milly onto a stool before asking her what she’d like to drink. If tonight was going to be one of our last together, then I was going to make the most of it.

“I’ll take a vodka and orange juice,” she replied, head bobbing to the music.

“Coming right up.”

***

It might not have turned into the best night of our lives, but it was certainly a memorable one. Milly and I laughed and joked, and we danced and drank until the small hours of the morning when all seven of us piled into two separate taxis.

“Everyone should come back to our house,” Nuala said from where she sat in the front seat next to the driver. “Our parents are away for the weekend. I’ll text the others.”

My parents were away, and my brother Tristan was spending the summer in Galway teaching kids how to play rugby at a sports camp.

Still, with how I was feeling right then, having Milly at our house might not be a smart move.

All night, I’d struggled to keep my hands off her.

Dancing with her had been the perfect excuse to slide my palms along her curvy hips as we swayed to the music.

She smelled incredible, and her body felt so soft and warm next to me in the back of the taxi.

It was all I could do not to fantasise about unzipping the back of her dress, letting it fall to the floor before I climbed over her and showed her just how much I’d been craving her.

In the end, I didn’t protest going back to ours. I wanted to savour every moment with Milly while I still could. At the house, we made a beeline for the kitchen, Nuala disappearing into the pantry to find some alcohol to keep the party going.

I felt pressure at my side and found Milly leaning into me as she let out an adorable little yawn. I smiled at her in affection and arched an eyebrow. “Tired?”

She grinned sheepishly. “A little.”

I slid my arm around her middle. “Come on. You can lie down in my room.”

“You’re the best, Derek,” she said, still grinning up at me as I led her upstairs.

She was drunk, and so was I, which meant I had absolutely no intention of making a move.

Although I would admit that the idea of Milly sleeping in my bed—even without me in it—was satisfying in a way I hadn’t felt before.

I wanted her scent on my pillow, her skin warming my sheets.

She’d been in my room a bunch of times, mostly just to hang out.

Sometimes we’d sit together, and Milly would study while I did my college coursework.

I was studying for a degree in business.

The plan was always for my brother and me to take over running the hotels for Dad when he retired, and I was fully on board with that.

I knew some people resented having to take up the family business, but I wasn’t one of them.

In fact, I’d inherited my dad’s passion and hoped to one day open even more Balfe Hotels across the country.

Perhaps it was because I looked up to my dad so much. He was the sort of man I wanted to emulate when I got older.

For a moment, I imagined the future, but there wasn’t some faceless woman at my side who I hadn’t met yet. No, the only person I imagined sharing that future with was Milly.

The realisation wasn’t entirely shocking, not when I’d spent the last year living like the monk Aidan often liked to refer to me as, which was troubling.

This could simply be young love, something I would be able to move on from with time.

But what if it wasn’t? What if Milly was the only woman I ever felt this way for?

The only one who made me feel lit up from the inside out, whose energy seemed to complement mine so perfectly?

She’d captured a part of my soul that day on the playground when she’d confidently tended to my brother.

Maybe she’d stolen my heart that very same day and had been in possession of it ever since.

“Wait a second,” I said when Milly pulled back the covers to climb into my bed. She paused as I went and opened a drawer, pulling out one of my old T-shirts that would probably work as a nightie for her. “Wear this.” A pause as I soaked her in. “You’ll be more comfortable.”

“Thanks,” she murmured, colour high in her cheeks as she took the T-shirt then disappeared into the bathroom to change. I sat down at my study desk and scrolled through my phone for a minute, calling out, “There’s some spare toothbrushes under the sink.”

“Found them, thank you!” Milly called back.

I heard running water, and then a few minutes later, she emerged, my T-shirt hitting her mid-thigh. Fuck, she was beautiful. She cast me a questioning glance as she approached the bed, and I knew what her look was asking.

Where will you sleep?

Swallowing down the lump of pure need lodged in my throat, I said, “Tristan’s away. I’ll sleep in his room.”

Milly nodded. “Okay.” A long pause followed, and I didn’t move from where I sat. She was under the covers, stretched out on my side of the bed, and all I wanted to do was climb in next to her. It took an iron will to finally rise and walk to the door.

“Goodnight,” I whispered.

“Derek,” she said, a nervous tremble in her voice.

“What is it, beautiful?” I asked and heard her sharp intake of breath. I was too tired, too drunk and too heartbroken at the idea of her leaving to censor myself right then. Besides, she was beautiful, and she deserved to know it.

“You can sleep here if … if you like.”

I just about managed to hold in a groan, then quietly responded, “I can’t.”

“Why not?”

My voice fell a few octaves lower. “You know why.”

“I just …” she trailed off, sighing.

I clenched both fists to keep from losing control. “You just what?”

Her eyes, so pretty and blue in the lamplight, fixed on mine. “I want to be close to you.”