Page 23

We stop shortly afterward at a long-abandoned campground and have a quick lunch, but I don’t get to pull Deck away and work on his hair and beard because Logan has other plans.

“I’m going to check things out in town,” he explains as the rest of us are sitting around, finishing our lunches. “Make sure it’s still safe.” He uses two fingers to point at me and Deck. “Y’all come with me.”

I’m pleased to be included since I don’t offer much by way of skill or strength. He must be counting on Deck for any defense he needs if we run into danger.

Obviously thinking similar thoughts, Trisha asks, “Are you sure you don’t want some more help? What if you run into trouble?”

She must be trying to be nicer because she doesn’t mention the obvious fact that I’m not much help in a fight.

“I don’t want to show up with an intimidating entourage until we see what’s what there,” Logan says. He hesitates. Then nods. “But you’re right. Another gun won’t hurt.”

Trisha is starting to smile when Logan gestures toward Burgundy. “Why don’t you come along too.”

The petty part of me has to muffle a snicker as we collect ourselves and get on two ATVs—me behind Deck and Burgundy behind Logan.

We’re less than ten miles away, so it doesn’t take long to get to the town, which has a defensive perimeter with posted guards like nearly every populated community now.

When we approach the front gate, one of the guards must recognize Logan because he calls down a greeting and descends from his post to meet us.

He’s grizzled and tough-looking, but his attitude is friendly enough as he says hello to Logan, Deck, and Burgundy, all three of whom he remembers.

“We were traveling in the area,” Logan explains, his longish hair windblown and slipping out of the low ponytail he usually wears. “So I thought we’d stop by and see how things were going in town. Everything all right here?”

The man makes a face. Then says with obvious reluctance, “Generally the same but got some bad news for you.”

Logan stands perfectly still next to the ATV he dismounted and waits for the man to continue.

“Bobbi didn’t make it.”

I never heard of Logan’s wife until this morning, so I have no idea of her name. But it’s got to be Bobbi from the reaction of the others. Burgundy gasps out, “Oh no!” Deck tenses up in front of me.

Logan hasn’t moved a muscle—not even a flicker on his face. “What happened?” he asks quietly.

“She got pregnant. She was over forty, and with no doctors or hospital, she had a real hard time of it. Didn’t make it through the birth.”

“She was pregnant?” For the first time, emotion is evident in Logan’s expression. Shock more than anything else. “When did she die?”

The man makes another one of those reluctant faces. “Happened five months ago. She was full term. Never said who the dad was, but we all figured…”

He doesn’t finish the sentence, but he doesn’t need to. The town must have assumed what I’m assuming as well.

Logan was the father.

“Did the…” Logan’s voice sounds rough, so he clears it before he continues. “Did the baby make it?”

“Yeah. Sure did. Healthy little girl. Bobbi’s folks—you remember Gary and Mary—they took the baby when they left.”

“They left?”

“Yeah. With the little one, they wanted to head back to their kinfolk. Never really felt at home here. They’re from farther west. Ozark territory.”

“Do you know specifically where they went?”

“Nope. Real sorry. But they didn’t think you’d ever show up here again. None of us did.”

Logan is still standing motionless, but he’s breathing loud enough for me to hear from several feet away .

I can’t even imagine how he’s processing it. To hear that his ex-wife died and he has a baby in the span of five minutes.

Talk about a couple of hard blows.

After a minute, he gives himself a little shake and says coolly, “Okay. Thank you for letting me know.”

“Y’all want to come in and stay for a while? After the help you gave us last year, we’d be happy to have you.”

“No. Thank you. We’ve got to keep going.”

“All right. Glad you stopped back. Where’bouts are you headed?”

Logan turns back toward the ATV. “We’re headed west.”

If Logan has anything to say about the change in his circumstances—that’s he’s a father after all this time—he certainly doesn’t share it with us. He and Burgundy take the lead on their ATV, and Deck and I follow.

I feel weird and off-balance and confused—like my understanding of the people around me doesn’t quite hold together the way I believed it did even yesterday.

After a while, I finally ask Deck as we drive, “So he and his wife got back together last time when you were here?”

Deck shrugs and uses the fingers of one hand to spell out Guess so.

“You didn’t know they were together again?”

He shakes his head .

“It must not have been serious if she didn’t come with him and he didn’t stay there. Maybe they just hooked up a time or two?”

Probably. He doesn’t share.

“Damn. Poor guy. Even if they weren’t still together, it’s got to hurt to lose an ex that way. And to find out he has a baby but has no idea where she is? He must be torn apart inside.”

There’s absolutely no sign of Logan feeling anything—at least not that I can tell from the set of his head and shoulders on the ATV in front of us—but that doesn’t mean he’s not upset.

Anyone would be.

“So you think he’s going to look for her?” I ask after another minute.

Yes.

“That makes sense. We’ve got to travel somewhere. Might as well travel that direction and see if we can find her.”

Yes.

I sigh. Because I’m emotionally off-kilter, I don’t think through the words before I say them. “Do you ever think of making a home somewhere and having a baby?”

Deck tenses up palpably. What?

“Sorry. Just a random question.” I wish I hadn’t spoken. Now’s he’s going to think that’s what I want even though we’ve just been together a short time.

I feel even worse when Deck signs in a clumsy rush, You want to leave Logan ?

“No! No, of course not. It really was just random. I know you’re never going to leave Logan, and I’d never ask you to.”

He lets out a hoarse breath, but his body doesn’t really relax.

Now he’s upset too, and it’s my fault.

His ties to Logan are longer and deeper and stronger than his ties to me. He’s known and loved Logan for years. They might as well be family. Sure, he cares about me and he’s happy to fuck me, but he’s only known me a few months.

It’s not the same.

It can never compete.

And I shouldn’t want it to.

“I’m sorry,” I add. “I’m happy with Logan. I’m happy with you . Exactly as we are.”

Deck nods, but it feels like he’s still thinking about it as we take a tight curve in the road.

And suddenly get a view farther off the next stretch of old pavement.

Someone has it blocked.

I have no idea who it is. I doubt the others know either. They’re strangers. Several of them. Holding guns with a big truck angled to block the narrow road.

They’re using the switchback in the route as a choke point to catch travelers unaware. It’s not an unusual occurrence nowadays. One of the dangers of traveling in small groups. Completely random.

But at the moment, we’re those travelers caught in the trap.

Deck slams on his brakes just after Logan does, and they both veer off the road and into the woods. But Logan’s ATV doesn’t get there. Rifles start firing from behind the truck, and at least one bullet hits the vehicle.

It spins out of control and crashes. Burgundy gets thrown and Logan leaps off just in time to not get crushed.

The attackers are advancing, still shooting in our direction. Deck drives our ATV directly into the shelter of the trees on the right side of the road, and Logan drags Burgundy after us, using a big tree as a shield.

Deck climbs off the ATV, already aiming his rifle and shooting at the strangers. It takes me a minute to untangle my legs from either side of the seat, but I manage to get off too and pull out my gun. I duck behind another tree and lean over far enough to see where I’m shooting.

I’m in a blur of panic and shock, so I can’t focus on anything but pulling the trigger again and again.

I don’t really think I hit anyone, but maybe my firing still helps.

Burgundy is hurt. She’s still lying where Logan dropped her in the underbrush of the woods. But she’s alive. And in pain. She’s twisting uncomfortably and whimpering occasionally.

I really can’t believe this is happening. It’s hardly fair that we get hit with this ambush immediately following the news we heard in the town.

I’m honestly not sure how we manage it, but the attackers drop one by one. Both Logan and Deck are better than most with their rifles, and the trees provide a stronger defense than we deserve given the fact that we were taken so unawares .

When the shooting finally stops, Logan and Deck come out from behind the trees to check things out and kill the men on the ground who are only injured.

Still holding my gun at the ready, I follow them onto the road in case they need any backup.

But it seems safe enough.

Maybe we’re okay as long as Burgundy isn’t seriously injured.

I’m about to turn around to check on her when I see a motion from the pickup down the road. There’s someone still alive back there, and they’re aiming right at Deck.

I shoot without thinking it through, hitting the smallish man in the shoulder. He falls, dropping his rifle in the process.

Deck and Logan hurry over. Deck shoots the man in the head. Logan glances back at me.

“I know,” I say, my voice raw as if I haven’t used it in days. “I should have shot him in the head or the chest. I know .”

Logan doesn’t look angry or give me a lecture. He simply shakes his head. “Okay, Bilbo. We got lucky today, but luck isn’t always on our side. If you don’t shoot to kill, you won’t live long enough to regret it.”

“I know.”

I do know, but I’m more relieved than anything else as Deck and I go back to see about Burgundy.

Deck gives me a questioning look as we walk. He spells out, Bilbo?

“Yeah. That was a joke I made. Because I’m pretty much useless but can sneak around and not get seen. Logan thought it was funny.”

I can see this process on Deck’s face. You’re not useless .

“Well, thank you for that. But I do need to get a little tougher. Logan is right. In a different situation, not killing someone when I can would be a big mistake. I need to do better. I need to… change.” We’re almost to Burgundy, and I’m deeply relieved to see her sitting up. It looks like she’s mostly okay.

Deck scowls at me. You read Bilbo books .

I blink. “What? Yes, I read the books. Why?”

He has to spell out a few words because we’ve never learned them. Bilbo’s mercy saved everyone. He gives me a stern look. You don’t need to change.