Page 21 of Project: FU (Longwood U #3)

NOLAN

A week goes by, and I still haven’t given Tavis an answer. I know my answer. Yes . I feel that with my whole body.

But there are a lot of doubts that pop up every time I think I’m ready to tell him so. I am afraid of how he’s actually going to take his kids’ disapproval.

Then I wonder if I’m rushing in blindly because I want to be loved. While this has never been about Kelsey in the way my fuckery with her brothers had been, there’s a niggling feeling asking me if that’s actually the truth.

I feel it is. She barely crossed my mind once I started talking to Tavis at the bar. When he touched me, when he kissed me, I wasn’t thinking ‘ Ha, Kelsey! ’ in the same way I did with her brothers.

Which makes me a shitty person all over again. They deserve apologies. Especially Skye.

So I do the thing I always do when I need advice.

I call my Daddy Wren. I’ve gone to all my dads over the years for lots of different things.

I knew Princess Daddy V would give me the soft, soothing comfort I needed when I was heartbroken.

He would be angry that I was upset, but he wouldn’t let me hear that anger.

He’d give me the comfort I needed in a way the rest of my fathers wouldn’t be able to.

But right now, when I need my fears either validated or soothed, I need Daddy Wren.

I take a seat at the picnic table outside the cafeteria, where I can people watch, but be left alone when I call.

“Hey, Pup,” Daddy Wren answers.

I smile. “Hi, Dad. What’s up?”

“Trying to rein in your father from purchasing a yacht we’ll never use.”

“A yacht sounds like fun.”

“How often do we use the other three boats we own?”

“Wait, we have three boats?”

“See?” Daddy Wren calls. “Even our kids don’t know we own three boats. That’s how often we use them! No yacht.”

“We’d use a yacht,” Papa Orson says. “We can have our grandkids’ birthday parties on it.”

“Your delusion makes me crazy,” Daddy Wren mutters.

I laugh.

“Anyway. How’s school?”

“It’s good. I, uh… I need some advice.”

“Sure. What’s going on, kid?”

I take a breath and hold it until my lungs burn before letting it out slowly.

“I’m seeing this guy and I’m going to guess that there’s going to be some controversy around it because he’s twice my age, and I go to school with his kids, and he’s really close with them and he wants to get serious, and I want that too because I love how he makes me feel and I might be falling for him but I’m afraid because I still remember what it feels like to have my heart ripped out, and I don’t think that will happen with him, but what if he can’t take how angry his kids are at this and decides to break up with me?

He assures me that’s not going to happen, but he’s also never faced that kind of fallout with his kids, and I need to know if it’s worth the risk,” I vomit without pausing.

“Whoa, slow down, Nolan,” Daddy Wren says in his quiet, soothing voice. “One thing at a time.”

I take another breath and let it out. “Sorry. I didn’t want to lose my nerve before I got all the words out.”

He chuckles quietly. “It’s okay. I’m going to ease your mind about the age, though. You know Princess V is twice Papa Zvi’s age, right? And the rest of us are well over a decade younger than our princess.”

There is no better love than that shared between my fathers. I smile. “Yeah.”

“Don’t let outside opinions sway your love for someone, Nolan. You love who you love. All you have to do is listen to your heart. You don’t owe anyone anything else than being true to yourself, regardless of what they think.”

“Thanks.”

“Next, I think the overall theme of your concern is your fear of being hurt again by whatever cause leads to that outcome. Am I right?”

I nod. “Yes.”

“You need to take the risk or you’re going to end up living a very lonely life.

I know we’ve all heard the adage, ‘ With great risk comes great reward .’ It’s true, though.

If you don’t put your heart on the line for fear that someone is going to hurt you again, then you’re never going to experience the love you deserve.

Honey, Kelsey was the wrong person. And that’s okay.

I think most people suffer a broken heart at least once.

It’s part of growing up. Becoming stronger.

Learning from past experiences. What you need to ask yourself is how strongly you feel about this man.

Do you see a future with him the likes of which you’re willing to put your heart on the line again?

Is that future together bright enough to take the leap? ”

I’ve been nodding throughout the last few questions. Not intentionally, but when I realize, I think I’ve already answered Daddy Wren’s questions. I already knew my answer, but I needed someone to quiet the voices of doubt or tell me I’m making a mistake.

Daddy Wren would have told me to bail if he thought I was making a mistake. I’m confident about that. He’s done it with my siblings in the past.

I feel almost giddy now that he’s told me that this isn’t one of those times. Granted, I haven’t told him some of the other complications, but I’m not sure they really matter.

“Thanks, Dad,” I say.

“You feel better? Feel more confident in your emotions?”

“I do. A lot. I appreciate the pep talk.”

“Of course, Pup. What else is new? How’s your frat with the sex shop in the basement?”

My parents thought it was hilarious that DIK has not one but two adult studios in the basement. Papa Zvi said his life has come full circle now that I work in the editing department of an adult content production company.

Yeah, in a previous life, my Papa Zvi was a porn star. I’m choosing to believe it’s a previous life, and he’s not currently living it. I’d like to pretend my parents aren’t still on the internet with their junk hanging out.

“Well, I’ve been convinced to help one of my brothers make replica dildos of some of the models. That was probably one of the most awkward moments in my life when it came time to cast it.”

Daddy Wren laughs loudly. “Oh no.”

“Oh yes. To make it even more awkward, Kylen walked in as we were in mad scientist mode, and man, I can only imagine how that looked.”

He continues to laugh. “Have you traumatized that boy?”

“There’s a very good chance.” I think back to his quasi-confession where he and Kole alluded to him being a virgin while our angel girl is living her best slutty life. “A very good chance.”

“Poor boy.”

I’m amused that they have the angel and demon monikers all wrong. The frat has figured it out. Kole’s sweet, innocent smile and pretty eyes hide the devil. Kylen, who’s ready to take down the holy trinity to assure his sister’s place in heaven, is truly the quiet, sweet angel in wolf’s fur.

I’m distracted when I see Skye heading in this direction. He hasn’t seen me as he looks at his phone. “Dad, I have to go.”

“All right. We love you. Be good.”

“I will. Love you, too.” I hang up the phone and shift in my seat, hoping to catch his attention. My movement works, and Skye’s pretty brown eyes turn in my direction. His cheeks immediately turn a beautiful shade of pink.

How does he not have a trail of men drooling after him?

I smile, waving him over to join me. His gaze darts around before he does. Ohhh, maybe he has a secret lover. Like father, like son, right?

“Hey. Haven’t seen you in ages,” I say when he hovers beside the table.

Skye shakes his head. “I guess we really don’t have a reason to cross paths much.”

“We don’t. Where you headed?”

“Lunch.”

“Want to join me outside? We can catch up.”

He studies my face for a minute before nodding. “Okay.”

I nod. “I’ll be right here. Unless you want to eat inside.”

Skye shakes his head again. “Here’s fine. I’ll be right back.”

I watch him head inside, wondering if I can work myself up to apologize. Here might not be the best place where there are people who can overhear. While I wait, I tap through my phone, pulling up my chat history with Tavis.

My fingers hover over the keys, wondering if this is something I should say through a text. I hit the voice note button and raise my eyes to the door of the cafeteria.

“This is probably not best done through text, but I don’t want to wait until we can steal a moment together to tell you.” I pause, letting my surety fill my chest. “I want that future, too. All of it.”

It feels like there’s so much more to say. How excited I am. How nervous I am. I can’t wait to see what we do next. I know that we’ll scale the mountains together, but I’m ready.

I’m giving him my heart and trusting that he isn’t going to crush it.

A few seconds pass when I don’t speak, and I let the recording end. Maybe that’s the stuff I leave for in-person. As long as he knows where I am now.

Skye steps outside, and his eyes are on me. I smile. I’m feeling good. Hopeful.

He joins me, sitting across from me. “You look happy again,” Skye notes.

Probably because my smile won’t fade. “I am.”

“Good. I like when you smile.” His words are accompanied by red cheeks.

There’s a chance my smile climbs. God, why does he have to be so damn cute? “Thanks. I like when you smile, too.”

He rolls his eyes. “I’m glad you haven’t let my sister get to you for too long.”

“I think… my actions following that video might have been rash, but I also think they led to me getting into the place I’m in now.”

Skye stares at me, and I hope he hears what I’m lamely trying to say.

“Maybe it happened for the wrong reasons, but I don’t regret it. I hope they don’t either.”

He drops his eyes to his tray, but I’m glad to see that there’s a shy smile on his face. “I don’t think they do,” he answers and then takes a big bite.

That’s all the alone time we get. Orion, like a storm, is suddenly there. He drops onto the bench beside his brother and gives me a big smile. “Hey, cutie,” he says, pushing his shoulder into Skye’s.

“You talking to me or Skye?” I ask.

He looks between the two of us, his smile not wavering. “Both.” He winks.

Skye rolls his eyes, but he doesn’t try to move away from his brother sitting so close.

“You’re here early, aren’t you?” I ask.

“Yep. I had a meeting with my professor and, inconveniently, his office hours are in the middle of the day, so I had to take the afternoon off.”

“Heartbreaking,” Skye says.

“I know.” Orion looks at him. “You don’t have class for a while, so I thought we could hang out.”

Skye’s small smile is as soft as always. Sometimes I think he’s indulgent of his brother’s big personality instead of getting lost in its shadow. “Yeah. Fine.”

“Cool,” Orion says and turns his attention to me. “What about you? You feel like hanging out?”

“I can for a while, but I have class in a bit.”

“Sweet.”

My phone pings, and I’m dying to look at it.

I hope it’s Tavis. I hope he listened to my message.

I don’t dare look at it, though. Not with Orion and Skye right here.

I know there’s nothing that will immediately point them in the direction that I’m talking to their father, but I’m not willing to take that chance.

I think this should come from him. When he’s ready to share it.

Orion carries most of the conversation, for which I’m not surprised. He’s by far the chattiest one in his family. Even over the girls. What I’m not sure I’ve noticed before is that he always has this flirty undertone.

Since it’s indiscriminate whether it’s directed at me or Skye, I have to think it’s always been there, and I never noticed before. Which I’m a little surprised about since he flat out told me he’d never been with a guy that time we got together.

I suppose that doesn’t mean he hasn’t teasingly flirted. Lots of people do that. They’re flirty by default, and it doesn’t matter who it’s pointed toward.

I kind of like the way Skye flushes when Orion flirts, though. It’s fucking cute. I grin at his reaction more than anything Orion’s saying while we remain at the picnic table.

More importantly, I’m relieved that neither of them seems upset with me.

I totally fucked and ghosted. That’s the hook-up culture, though, so I imagine they didn’t expect anything more.

It’s not like I actually ghosted, either.

We’ve always just run into each other at random unless I’ve been over their house to hang out with Kelsey.

This could have been ugly. I’m relieved that it’s not. It would have sucked in so many different ways for it to have turned awkward or with bad feelings. Especially since I’m relatively convinced that neither of them is likely to approve of me dating their father.

Then again, they might dislike that news even more since I’ve slept with them both. Do they know I’ve slept with them both? Is that something they’ve shared?

My phone continues to send me notifications. I’m relatively certain they’re not all from Tavis, but the damn thing is burning a hole in my pocket. I’m almost relieved when I have to excuse myself for class.

I look at my notifications as I walk away. I was right. Most of them were between two different chats. One with the Whitaker twins and one is a general frat chat that’s usually filled with memes and innuendos. Today is no different.

But there’s one from Tavis. A voice message.

I glance around, making sure that no one is close—and especially no one who might recognize his voice. I turn the volume down and play it close to my ear.

“I can’t wait, Nolan. I can’t express just how happy you’ve made me in this short time we’ve been getting together. I’m looking forward to many more years with you.”

Many more years . My heart thunders in my chest.