Page 39

AMITY

I have butterflies all afternoon while Ren flits around the main house, working on a project to put new windows in. I’m glad it’s warm out today.

By evening the banging of the hammer is so loud I head over to the trailer to hide in my room. There’s no more word from the PS so I lie on my bed and stare at the ceiling, faded and grubby.

I'm not equipped for this mission, or anything else we’re doing tonight. I have two knives now, that I bought at the market, but still no training in how to use them.

I’m better off with the self-defense skills we practiced at school. Our instructor emphasized how vital it is to protect yourself and your friends. But we mostly ignored her. I’m lucky I tried because that’s what I do. I’m a trier. I like to do a good job. I like to please my teachers.

So here I am. Just stick me on a depo train and send me out into the world with nothing but money and highly sketchy instructions for getting to Anchorage and spying on the Forge.

I stare at the ceiling some more, thinking about it all, when I hear voices through the window. They’re coming from the main house. Two low voices, and one of them is Vale.

I hurry out of bed, grabbing a brush to run it through my hair. I’m dressed in dark jeans and one of the T-shirts I’ve been wearing around. Hopefully this will work for the party we’re going to. I have a feeling it won’t be like a PS party. I hardly ever went to them anyway.

When I get to the main house Eli is there. I haven’t seen him in a couple days. He’s working on the revolution at all hours of the day and night, apparently.

At the moment he’s spouting off about authoritarianism masquerading as harmony, and the uses of destabilizing insubordination.

“Eli.” I turn, seeing Ren and Vale. Vale is on this side of the empty window frame, and Ren is on the outside.

I laugh. Ren put Vale to work installing our windows.

“And you have to remember that the consolidation of power ensures that the parameters of existence are dictated by the elite,” Eli lectures Vale.

I don’t know Eli well enough to ask him to leave Vale alone, but Ren jumps in.

“Eli. Give the man a break, he just got here.”

“Hi, Ami,” Vale says, scraping the exposed wood. Ren is pulling off old pieces of the sash and liner.

“Just a second, let me get this,” they grunt at Vale, pulling a long strip of wood from the side of the window frame .

Sorry, I mouth to Vale and he shrugs helplessly. At the Forge he’s in charge, son of the king. Here he’s free labor, apparently.

“Ami, can we talk someplace?” Vale asks.

“Hang on there, handsome,” Ren cuts in and I bite back a smile. “One more in the back.”

“It’s okay,” I tell Vale as he follows to scrape another frame for Ren.

Eli and Qilan are chopping vegetables in the kitchen and I offer to help. Eli is talking a mile a minute but Qilan is quiet, watching me.

“You’re going off with him?” she asks me.

“Yeah. To a solstice party?” I say it like a question.

Qilan’s forehead wrinkles. “Where?” she asks.

“At the Brotherhood.”

Even Eli stops talking to stare at me. “I hope you have a good reason. You’re going with him?”

“He was invited,” I say defensively. “I’m just going along as a…guest.”

Qilan snorts and together they start shoveling vegetables into a pot. She and Eli exchange a wry look.

“You can stay home, you know,” she offers. “We’ll be around. We might watch an old movie with the projector or something.”

That sounds more my speed than a party, for sure. “I said I’d go,” I deflect.

Vale comes back with Ren.

“There’s His Highness now,” Eli announces.

“Eli,” I chide him. The distrust radiates off of Qilan, but I wasn’t expecting that from Eli. Vale is unbothered. Fair enough. He turns to me .

“So, can we talk somewhere?”

I shyly lead him out the back door and over to the trailer.

It’s old and shabby, despite the work Ren has been doing to fix things up, but it’s no worse than most of the places around the neighborhood.

We go into my room and I shut the door, immediately thinking about being in his room at the Forge.

“I can’t take you swimming,” I joke nervously. “The pool’s closed.”

“That’s okay,” Vale says. “I got to help with the windows.” And he has a small, secret smile.

He swings his backpack off his back and unzips it.

“I brought these for you. It’s clothes for the party.”

I eye the pile mistrustfully. It’s not very big. I glance up and he immediately guesses the source of my hesitation.

“I think you look great, just like that. But the girls at the party will be wearing skirts and stuff, and we need to blend in as much as we can.”

I nod, moving over to the bed and the clothes. There’s a shirt in a soft material with a scoop neck that’s red and he brought a skirt. I think that’s what it is. It’s narrow and black.

“How do you walk in it?” I ask, holding it up. Vale grimaces.

“I think it’s stretchy.” He reaches out to pull on the fabric and show me. “We can bring your clothes in my bag,” he explains. “At least a pair of jeans. But this is probably best for getting in to the party.” His eyes dart around.

I sigh. He’s right. Most of the women I see up here, even Qilan, wear skirts. I haven’t worn a skirt in years. They aren’t exactly against the rules to wear in the PS but definitely frowned upon.

“What about my shoes?” I glance down at the black boots I’m wearing.

“Those are good.”

What happens next, I put the clothes on? I shudder at the thought of wearing them over at the house and hearing what Ren and Qilan and Eli have to say.

“Uh, should we go over the plan?” Vale asks. He’s not in a big hurry. He seems nervous. Maybe I need to be the one to hold things together.

“Come here,” I invite and we both sit on the bed. I take a deep breath. “Okay, what are you thinking?”

I listen carefully while he tells me about where the laptop is, in storage on the roof of the building. I nod, wishing I knew more about the Brotherhood so I could be more help. I memorize what he says so I can act as naturally as possible when I’m there. Focus on the job.

Vale starts to close his backpack, then looks up. “Anything else I should pack? A phone or anything? There aren’t any pockets,” he says apologetically.

“No pockets?” I laugh. “Wait, are you serious?”

He shrugs.

“I’ll bring my phone and stuff in my purse.” I show him the purse I picked up at the market and he nods; apparently it passes his inspection. And stuff meaning my knife, since that’s better than leaving it at home and wishing I had it.

“Okay, I’ll just—” I pick up the clothes. Vale’s eyes are glued to the floor suddenly.

“Could you step out?” I ask shyly.

“Of course, sorry, Ami.” Vale shakes his head as if to clear it and springs to his feet, his tall form ducking through the doorway and pulling the door shut. I change into the red top, giving a side eye to the way it hugs my shape.

Then I slide into the skirt, which is stretchy as he promised. The skirt is short, or I’m tall, and a sliver of tan skin shows between the bottom of the shirt and the top of the skirt. I try pulling up the skirt but now it’s too short to be comfortable. I pull it back down and poke my head out.

“Almost ready,” I tell him when he glances up from the folding chair he’s sitting in. “Come here a second, I need to ask you something.”

He comes immediately. I sit him on the bed and show him.

“I’m not sure if I should wear the skirt lower, but it leaves a gap here, or higher, but then it’s so short?” I ask, tugging the skirt up to show him.

“Vale?”

His eyes are on my legs. They seem a little glassy.

“Vale? The skirt?”

“Um…” He looks up to my face, grimacing.

“Sorry. Sorry, Ami. What was the question again?”

I sigh. “What do I do about this skirt?” I show him again. He starts to reach out and pauses before his hands touch me.

“May I?”

Suddenly my mouth is as dry as it’s ever been. His voice is so intimate, and his hands are hovering over my hips. I can’t form the word yes so I nod, holding his eyes. Without breaking my gaze he brings his hands to my hips, tugging the skirt lower, leaving that sliver of stomach .

His hands linger on my hips as he says thickly, “Like this, I think.”

I’m silent for a beat and his hands are still on my hips. I wonder what it would be like for his hands to slide around my waist, pulling me towards him. As if in answer to my thought his grip slides up, resting on the skin between my red shirt and the tight black skirt.

“Ami, I…”

I bring my hands to his shoulders and he pulls me even closer, hugging me between his legs. His breathing is deep, he sounds like he’s trying to calm himself down.

“I’m worried about tonight,” he mutters. “I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

Oh. He’s worried about me. I thought maybe we were going to kiss. I hug him.

“It’s okay,” I reassure him. Maybe seeing me in these clothes makes me seem vulnerable. “It’s what I want. I want to get the laptop,” I tell him. The words are heavy and wrong in my mouth. I do want to get the laptop, but I’m speaking a half-truth.

“This is something I need to do,” I tell him. At least that’s the truth. We stand there, hugging, as his breathing regulates. Then he releases me and I back up, giving him space to stand. He busies himself with the backpack, and I grab what I need for my purse.

It occurs to me that I might not see Vale after tonight. If I can get that laptop for the PS, and get it to a drop point tomorrow, they said I’d be on my way back soon. And Vale will be here, in Anchorage.

When he turns back I slip closer and he stills. I may never see him after tonight. I bring my lips close to his, almost brushing them together.

“Vale, can we…”

He closes the space between us and our mouths press softly, our lips fitting together. He’s gentle. His lips are soft.

There’s a thud of the backpack hitting the floor and Vale’s hands are gripping my ribcage, pulling me closer. I angle my head, exploring, and drop my purse to wind my arms around his neck.

My whole body tingles. I’m hot all over but the kiss is slow, gentle, and ends too soon. I step back, and he drops his hands awkwardly.

Then I remember I’m supposed to be his girlfriend at the party.

“Okay.” I take a couple of breaths, backing up more, trying to remember what we were doing. “So. We’re going together, like we’re on a date?”

“Yeah,” Vale says slowly. “But we don’t have to do what everyone else is doing,” he goes on, looking worried.

“What kind of party are we talking about?” I joke.

“Oh, not like that, but guys are pretty protective of their women up here. You’ll want to stay close…” He trails off, suddenly unsure again.

“That’s okay. Yeah.” This party is going to be quite the experience, I can tell already.