Page 38

AMITY

It feels different walking in Spenard on Saturday morning. The sun is high and bright. This is the first time the air in Anchorage has a warm, heavy quality I recognize from Baltimore.

My hair is a little damp and it feels good, cool on my head with the warm heat.

There are old strip malls on either side of the wide street I walk on. People are living in most of the buildings. Their faces are grim.

I’m reminded of history, of photos of people on the streets of Baltimore. Everyone in Maryland these days has a cared for, polished look. These folks are hungry, and I shiver as I pass them.

I still have Vale’s hat. I’m wearing it again today.

It smells faintly of pine and chlorine. I pull it low over my eyes.

Everyone looks away from me when I glance around, but I notice a couple of kids playing with a broken shovel in front of a storefront that says Jewelers but clearly doesn’t sell jewelry anymore.

They stare at me like I’m something they haven’t seen before, and I slowly realize that most of the folks standing around are men, and the few women I see are shrinking back.

The phrase “barefoot and pregnant” pops into my head, something else I remember from history.

I give a little girl a wink and she cowers back.

When I get back to the trailer I go straight into my room. I sit on my bed, thinking. Tonight I’ll go to the solstice party with Vale and pretend to be his girlfriend. My face twists. Maybe I should have paid more attention to the women lurking in the shadows. Is that what he’ll expect from me?

I think back to the depo train. Everything felt totally new, there was so much I had never seen before. I realize how sheltered I was growing up in Baltimore and I wonder why we didn’t travel more as a family, go to other places.

Surely it wasn’t dangerous for us to visit New England, or the Midwest? Both territories signed the Universal Accord and purged their weapons.

I have a lot of questions. I wish I could travel around and talk to more people, find things out, understand what’s going on in the world.

My phone buzzes, bringing me back to the gray walls around me. I hear a cupboard slam in the other room, Ren must be here. I instinctively tense up; I don’t want Ren to know about my communications with my “mom.”

I wish I knew whether it was my mom on the other side. The words don’t sound like her, but that might be on purpose .

The phone buzzes again and I flop back on the bed.

Hi honey how’s it going?

Again with the honey stuff.

Good. I’m meeting up with a friend later today.

Who’s that?

Vale Adamson. We’re going to a party together for the solstice.

The phone buzzes in my hand and it says secure video call. This hasn’t happened before. I glance toward the door where I still hear Ren moving around in the common area.

I swipe the screen and a picture appears—my mother and another woman stare out at me from the phone. I feel a pang when I realize my mom was there on the other side of the phone all along. The other part of the screen shows me—there must be a camera facing me from the phone.

I look different, my cheeks are red from the June sun. My hair is damp and short, hanging around my face and brushing my shoulders.

“What’s happening, Amity?” my mom asks, her voice steady, not warm.

“I’m going to a party with Vale.”

My mom nods eagerly. “Isaiah’s son. The Society is aware of them.”

“Mom, I saw Zeph, he came here, but he doesn’t want to leave,” I tell her. There’s guilt dropping into my stomach at the thought. I worry that there’s more I should have done for Zeph.

“Don’t worry about Zeph. I’m sure he’s fine,” the other woman says.

My mom cuts in. “What else, Amity? What is happening at the party?”

“We’re supposed to steal something,” I tell them. I wonder how private this call is. “I’m not sure if I should…”

“This is a secure link,” my mother tells me. “Tell us what you’re supposed to steal.”

“Me and Vale. We’re supposed to steal a laptop that has information about the Peaceful Society that the Forge wants. We find the laptop and bring it to them.”

My mom and the other woman exchange a glance. This has happened my whole life. At home, at school, and out in the community. My mom and the other CSOs: always whispering, giving each other significant looks.

I'm annoyed. Here I am, in Alaska, ready to risk my neck.

“ What? ” I say, pointedly.

My mom stares back at me, cold now.

“What, Mom? Can you fill me in, please? You said the link was secure,” I add a little petulantly, even though I try not to. “I deserve to know.”

My mother’s lips purse. The other woman starts to speak, and apparently she’s allowed to tell me what my own mother can’t or won’t.

“We believe the Forge is preparing to move to a location much closer to the Peaceful Society. There are reports of a site being prepared in West Virginia. ”

“Zeph said something about that, that they were going to try to negotiate with the PS,” I tell them.

“Nonsense. We believe they are getting ready to strike the Peaceful Society, organize an attack that will cause widespread injuries or destruction. It could be plans for our electrical grid, something to take down our servers, or even a biological agent or poison.”

I suddenly remember the trucks and buses. “There were trucks, so many trucks, lined up outside the building. And buses.”

“What were they doing?” my mom asks, urgently. “Were they loading them?”

“Walking up and down.” I picture the scene in my head, what I saw before Vale whisked me away. “They were checking them, inspecting maybe. I don’t think Vale wanted me to see.”

“I’m sure he didn’t,” the other woman says.

“Ami, we need that laptop. We need to know what they’re planning, to prevent the Forge from terrorism.”

Terrorism? That’s not how I see Vale at all. I think of him: protecting me, laughing with me and teasing me, swimming powerfully beside me in the pool.

“Go with him tonight and get the laptop, but you must keep it away from the Forge. We can tell you where to drop it off later.” My anxiety spikes at my mother’s words.

My mother sees me breathing in, a sharp double breath, and knows what I’m up to. “Ami, listen. It’s going to be okay. Do this and then you’ll be done. We’ll make arrangements to get you back here and you can start training with the other girls.”

“Why me?” I can’t help asking .

“The boy, he cares about you, right? He trusts you?”

Does she mean Zeph? He still cares about me, but I don’t think he’ll ever want to go back to the PS unless things change. But Vale’s father keeps dangling him, using him to control me. Cooperate and we’ll help Zeph. Cross us and he’ll struggle.

“Vale,” my mom clarifies.

“Oh. Yeah, I think so,” I say, my eyes shifting.

“It’s okay,” she reassures me. “You’re doing great. Getting close to him is an excellent strategy. There’s no way they would involve you so quickly in the work of the Forge otherwise.”

There’s a knock on my door and I have a fleeting sense of relief. I don’t want to know any more. I don’t want to know if Vale is planning to do something terrible to the PS.

“Hey, Ami?” Ren pokes their head in. I try not to twist the phone away immediately. It’s already angled towards the wall.

“Yeah, Ren?”

“I’m going next door to see if they need help with lunch. Want to come?” My eyes travel around the room, skimming over the phone. The link has been shut down. My mom is gone.

A message pops up.

We will get you info for a secure location where you can drop off the equipment.

Love you, honey.