Page 174 of Preacher Man

God, she'd said it, she loved him, and the world hadn't imploded.

Maybe they'd be okay after all.

"I know we both have things still to work through. But maybe then for now you don't run and I only save us, Asher."

It was offered lightly yet heavy with intent, she was offering them a chance, she was offering him herself, fully, problems and all, scared, terrified Ruby with her battered heart was asking him to take care of it as best as he could.

He blinked and pulled her in closer, this tall rough man with the flecks of gray and blue in his green eyes that darkened when he was being intense, loved her.

"Do you mean it?" he asked gruffly. "Don't say that shit to me if you don't mean it, Ruby, because I want everything from you. I'll take it all, I’ll chase you fucking down, I mean it." Ruby was not a sweet crier, she didn't look sexy crying, fugly-crying was invented solely for her, she was sure of it, so before answering she brushed under her eyes to clear the waterworks out of the way before she smiled up at him, and took his hands in hers, brought one to her lips and kissed the back of each tattooed knuckle. "I'm already your wife.”

"Old lady." He amended to make her grin.

"Less of the old."

"Do you mean it?"

"I do. So much. I want us to be everything to each other." And she did. God, she really did. Every scared part of her wanted to be everything to him. Ruby's expectations had been to carve a better life for Sebastian, and with Preacher's help, she was going to do that, and while that made her grieving heart happy, she craved more from life than only that, she'd allowed herself to want more, even when she couldn't admit it, though that little boy meant the world to her, he wasn't the whole world.

No, that would be Seb and Asher. She needed Asher to complete her universe. To complete her circle.

It seemed crazy and yet she was so desperate to believe him her heart sped up inside her chest, it beat hard and out of sync, long excitable pumps. For some small mercy, he’d seen her guts ripped out and all her baggage spilled on the floor and still wanted her.

He wants me. Wants us.

She’d tried damn hard not to feel anything for Preacher. Really hard. Keeping it just sex, who said sex wasn't a complication? It was the most complicated act two people could do, she'd been fooling herself in assuming sharing herself with Preacher would be easy to walk away from, what a crazy idea, how did she ever think that would work, the dangerous physical connection between them had become alive instantly. Even their casual glances had been something more, darker, wanton, palpable, a promise to come.

Only looking up at him, so patient waiting for her answer it didn’t feel like a failure at all. It was---- togetherness. Connection. And hope.

The air was combustible.

Her life up to this point had been insidious. Everyone pecking at her until there was nothing left. She was tired and done.

"I want to tell you something," she said between soft kisses, she groaned as their mouths parted. His eyes waited.

“Hi, my name is Ruby Steele.” His brow rose and she chuckled amending. “Priest and I have a longing to be needed by those who don’t deserve me, so please don’t hurt me if I allow you in my heart. I’ve let people walk all over me in the name of love and it hurts me,” she spoke every word into his chest, a muffled tone and still she knew he heard her when he replied, inhaling fast first he lifted her chin, kissed her on the nose. “Good girl.” he was smiling. She let go of her breath. “And what else?”

What else? Fingers clutched the back of his shirt. Wasn’t her spilling that enough? The man wanted her soul as well as her blood. Greedy beast. Ugh, fine, she'd come this far, no point stopping now.

Ruby took a brave shuddering inhale and like he had said, she too was all in now. Life was for living and risking and trusting your person. “And I kind of, crazily love my sexy husband. I want to trust him more than I’ve ever wanted anything before. I want to lean on him and help him, and be at his side when he needs me and talk and laugh and ---screw his brains out until we both die. He makes me hope and wish for heart-stopping love, to have real and goodness that isn’t about using each other but about being together because the thought of not being with each other is unbearable.”

God. She really was going for it. Too late to take it back. She'd poured out her guts like she was in a two-week confessional box. And she wasn't even Catholic.

Preacher was deathly still, only the fierce rap of his heart under her cheek told her he was still present.

And then he smiled a roguish wicked smile, nuzzled her forehead. "My brave fucking lady, now that didn't hurt, did it?"

"Yes." She laughed burrowing her face in his chest. “Will you always be honest with me, too, even if it’s not what I want to hear?”

“Of course. Always.” Instantly. "Without you, Ruby, I don't make sense."

His love and trust shook something loose, some cornerstone she’d been holding together with duct tape and sheer will. It broke off and she flung herself into his massive chest, holding on for dear life.

He was big, and cut and so very deadly and was holding her like she was a precious diamond, his hand coasting up and down her back.

She was unlocked.

Preacher had unlocked her and now what?