Page 122 of Preacher Man

“No problem. I’m glad it did something. That was ..." she exhaled. "Jesus Christ, Grinder … that was scary as hell,” she admitted.

She didn’t see Preacher until her head turned and saw him standing framed in the archway, eyes dark as midnight, unreadable. She smiled with relief to see him.

He didn’t return the smile.

******

Ruby had been scared of him.

His heart about up and fucking stopped pumping in his chest.

A bad one. It was a bad one this time. Motherfucker. Maybe the worst in a long time. And she’d witnessed every ugly second. If only he had amnesia, but he always recalled his episodes one nasty second for another.

He’d scared her, he heard her plainly tell Grinder. Making his feet move, he went to the bar, grabbed two beers, cracked the cap off one, holding the other in the crook of his arm he tipped the cold bottle back and downed the full thing until all that was left in the bottom was foam suds. He popped the cap from the second before he looked over at her, she walked to him slowly.

There was no debilitating feeling like it than being so fucking royally screwed up mentally and having the woman you're into witness your deterioration in all its technicolor mess.

He felt like a jackass. Embarrassed to boot.

He saw eyes all over him like they expected him to bust out the crazy again any second. A growl formed in the back of his throat. It wasn’t the first time, and still, he was fucking uncomfortable and pissed that it had happened again.

He rose his voice. “Okay, ass-clowns, show’s over. Back to work. That means you, prospects, toilets ain’t gonna scrub themselves.” Three groans followed but they rushed off to obey his commands. Least he still had that going for him.

Throwing water on his face in the bathroom he’d done some fast thinking until he thought he’d bust a blood vessel he was concentrating so goddamn hard on the inevitable he had presented before him. There was no rock and a hard place for Preacher. It was a straight up delivered clusterfuck of astronomical proportions. He’d dreaded this day, and yet, he’d known it was fucking unavoidable.

Hadn’t he predicted just this? Yeah, dipshit, Ruby saw you lose your mind.

His lady saw it all and brought him back.

Goddamn, what a woman.

And yet.

Wanting what he couldn’t have for himself he was interrupted by having to say anything to her as she moved off to the side when Helen came through the door. A petite older blonde woman dressed in denim and smiles, she first kissed her husband Jed before Preacher got a chance to use her for distraction for a minute.

His head was screwed up.

Not sure how his heart felt as it continued to bang around his chest, but it felt shredded. He gulped the last of his second beer, setting aside the bottle, pasted on a smile and wrapped his arms around the smaller woman, no taller than his chest, with a head full of blonde hair, all her own, so she told it, and she paid for it making it hers. "When are you going to leave that old goat and run away with me, Helen? We can grab your purse right now and be in Vegas in a few hours. Look at the silver fox, he'd never catch us, he'd have to find his walker first."

The blonde laughed with her face stained pink before cuffing him around the arm. “Get away with you, you, big flirt. My Jed could still take you.“

“Damn right, darling.” Piped up Jed.

The distraction was soon over and he was left with Ruby. He took her in as he always did, sweeping his gaze over her lovely face, care in her eyes stiffened his jaw. “Come and walk with me, Ruby.”

She looked pleased to have something to do, to see him normal.This was about as normal as I get, baby.He’d kind of forgotten how drained an episode made him feel, raking over past pain as if it was a living breathing and live action movie all over again was a mindfuck not only on his head but every fatigued limb, he’d crash soon.

She was so goddamn pretty with her sad eyes for him. Even now he wanted to fuck her.

Always. Still.

Seeing his dead brother might make him a little mad, but his dick still had a good working head. He had to push any sex thoughts away, for fucking real he couldn’t have any arousal noise around him right now so even though they walked side by side until they reached outside, yesterday he would have grabbed her hand, today he didn’t. “Are you sure you’re okay, Preacher? Your friends seemed to know what to do …”

“It’s not their first rodeo with my crazy, baby,” he smiled tightly, letting the coolness of the breeze air him out, and cool-jet his thoughts, he needed a clear head, and considering his was a screaming basket case fifteen minutes ago it was gonna take some focus to keep clear when all he wanted to do was crush Ruby to his chest and bury his face in her hair.

“I’m sorry if…” warm skinny fingers on his arm shot electricity right through him, halted him mid step to look down at her, his heart heaving like a horse carrying a fat oaf across the finish line. He wanted to bring those long beautiful fingers to his mouth and suck on each one, in turn, he wanted to leave kisses on the middle of her palm to keep for later if she needed a kiss from him.

Knowing it would come to this and having it sat there on his shoulders was a whole other handbag of fish. Preacher inhaled and let it go slowly.