Page 5

His hand heats against my lower back and I sense myself pushing into him a little. I like the way his hand feels on my body. I’ve never had someone compliment me as much as he does either, or look at me like that.

Briefly, I close my eyes and push those thoughts away.

I’m about to sit down at the table with all of his brothers. This is a big deal. I can possibly be in line to get some incredible information on all of them.

Especially seeing as I got interrupted when I was searching through his drawers today. Shit. That was so close. I can’t believe I got myself out of that situation, but then into a worse one.

I can’t believe I was going to kiss him.

And not just like—oh, I’m playing the role and going with the flow to trick him. I was proper lost in that moment. It was so intense I forgot my entire mission and just wanted to melt against his perfect fucking body and get lost in those perfect lips that keep saying all these perfect things.

I sigh angrily and Radmir runs his hand up my back. “Are you ok?” he asks, worried.

“Oh, I’m just nervous,” I reply.

“You have nothing to be nervous about. It’s going to be a fun night.”

Just as we step into the entrance foyer at the bottom of the giant staircase a beautiful girl walks through the door and rushes over to Radmir to hug him.

“Raisa, this is Jade,” Radmir says, “Raisa is my sister and here’s Ruslana. Where are your men?” he asks them.

“We left them at home tonight. Thought it would be nice to just hang out with you guys.” Ruslana grins, then turns towards me and hugs me. “Hi Jade. Do you drink cocktails?”

It’s like this instant welcoming from both of his sisters. They pull me towards the kitchen, where they pour us each a pink cocktail and start chatting about life as though they’ve known me forever.

I’m so shocked by how friendly his sisters are that I begin to feel guilty about my entire plan to take down his business and his life. But I can’t be, not after what he did.

I am tense when Ruslana and Raisa lead me through to the dining room to meet everyone else who has arrived. It’s noisy and chaotic and I’m expecting a room full of arrogant, cruel, cold assholes.

Just ruthless men from a ruthless world. A world where they will kill someone’s brother and not think twice about it.

My heart is beating a hundred miles an hour, practically leaping from my rib cage with nauseous tension.

But when I step into the living room, that isn’t what I sense at all.

Raisa grabs one of her brother’s arms. “Roda, this is Jade, she’s staying with Rad for a while.”

“Hi, Jade, I heard what happened, it must have been such a shock. Are you doing ok?” he asks with genuine sounding empathy. I nod blindly, momentarily dumbfounded.

Another one of Rad’s brothers steps towards me. “Jade, it’s good to meet you.” He grins and I stare between the brothers in shock. They are one fucking good looking family. How can every single one of his brothers be this hot.

I turn towards Radmir and the slightest smile touches my lips.

They aren’t as hot as him, though. He’s like Adonis-level heat wave.

Shit. I’m doing it again.

“Jade—“

I turn towards Roda. “Yes, sorry—“ I say, completely overwhelmed by everyone being so nice.

“I asked if Rad was treating you ok?” he chuckles, showing a mouthful of perfect teeth.

“He is treating me better than ok.” I nod, smiling.

I am so relieved when I feel Radmir step up behind me. He is something familiar amongst all of this chaos.

“I see you’re meeting everyone. Renat, Roman—“ he calls to his other brothers, gesturing for them to come over.

I giggle shyly. “I won’t be able to remember everyone’s names,” I confess with my cheeks burning red.

“You’re overwhelming her, Rad.” Roda laughs, “Come on, everyone, let’s sit down at eat. I’m starving.”

Roda, whose name I learn is actually Rodion, sits down without waiting for confirmation from anyone. He seems to take the lead naturally somehow, but the rest of them chirp and hand out cheeky comments continuously back and forth of fun banter.

“Roda is the oldest, that’s why he’s so bossy,” Radmir whispers in my ear as though he can read my thoughts. He is leaning close and letting the heat of his breath brush over my neck. I shudder in delight. “Come sit next to me,” he says, pulling a chair out for me and once I’m settled in, he sits right next to me with our legs brushing against each other and my skin tingling at the touch.

Everyone starts dishing up and passing take-away boxes back and forth across the table.

“Hand me that one,” Radmir says to one of his brothers, who passes him a tray of assorted foods.

He sets it in between us. “Thai curry, dumplings… Oh, the rolled pizza is over there. I’ll grab it before Roda finishes it all. And then I ordered New York steak strips with blue cheese sauce.“

He grins, looking triumphant.

“Oh, and I took the liberty of ordering prawns in garlic butter because I love those and seeing as we seem to have the same taste in food, I thought you might too.”

Staring at him I can’t help but knot my brows, an odd smile of confusion spreading across my face. He literally got me everything I mentioned and extra. He went out of his way to make me feel welcome with his family. He has been nothing but gentle and generous since I got here.

“Did I forget something?” he asks, raising his brows because I haven’t said a word yet.

“No, you—you—this is perfect.” I grin.

“I’ll dish up a bit of everything for you before these savages get their hands on it,” he says, taking a few smaller plates and starting to fill them with all the assorted flavors. I watch him as he serves me, wondering how he is managing to keep up this facade of being so kind and caring.

When will he slip up and show me his other side.

The side of him that murdered my brother.

The real Radmir Kuztnetsov.

I clench my jaw and remind myself who is he, but sitting at this table, surrounded by his brothers and sisters, all I can feel is warmth and family and love. It reminds me of dinners with my brothers and sisters. The back and forth. The snarky comments, the teasing and playfulness. Fighting for the best foods and complaining when someone steals the last of a favorite.

Radmir and I comment on each of the flavors, deciding our favorite has to be the dumplings with the New York steak coming in a close second and the Thai curry at third place.

“Without the blue cheese sauce, the steak would be at third place though,” I say seriously.

“Oh, I one hundred percent agree.” He nods as though we are judging some five-star cooking show.

I can’t stop smiling, enjoying the atmosphere far more than I expected to. Surprised by everything and everyone.

Ruvim leans over and hands me a fortune cookie. “We always get these. Just for fun.” He grins.

“You guys don’t strike me as being the superstitious types?” I say, tilting my head to the side.

“The universe is a big and beautiful place. Who are we to say what magic is or isn’t out there?” Ruvim winks at me.

“Hey, stop flirting with her, Ruv,” Renat says loudly, teasing his brother.

Everyone cracks up laughing when Ruvim’s eyes shoot wide and he quickly turns his head away.

I’m laughing, too.

The brothers carry on eating and teasing each other. They are much nicer to their sisters, but it’s not like the girls don’t get teased too.

The night is coming to an end, and my heart feels warm and full, as though I’ve had dinner with my own family, with my own brothers.

Suddenly, all I can think about is Grigor.

The ache that slams into my heart is intense and deep and no matter what I do, despite my best efforts, I can’t push it aside. I can’t ignore it and I feel the lump in my throat starting to grow bigger as I try to swallow it away.

“Are you ok?” Radmir asks, leaning close and speaking quietly.

I nod, too nervous to speak incase my voice cracks.

“Jade, are you sure?” he says, brushing his hand over my leg.

His tenderness is making it worse.

I don’t cry in front of people. Not real tears. Those fake crocodile tears I put on display when he saved me where different. This is real emotion. Raw and untamed. I don’t let anyone see me like this. Not even my own family. I’m the strong one. I’m the one who doesn’t need anyone.

Standing up, I mutter, “I just need to excuse myself for a moment.”

Then I hurry out of the dining room before anyone can say anything or see the tears already spilling down my cheeks.

I run up to my bedroom and sit on the edge of my bed, gasping through the tears that are now streaming down my cheeks.

I don’t expect Radmir to follow me so when I hear a soft knock on the bedroom door I jump a little and hurriedly wipe the tears away as though I could hide them. But I think it’s way too late for that. My face must be a blotchy mess at this point.

Radmir walks in and sits next to me on the bed, wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me up against himself.

“Hey, are you ok, what’s going on?” he asks gently.

I shake my head and swallow hard. This is too real.

“Jade, you can talk to me—“ he says.

I bite my lip and then sigh softly.

“It’s my brother,” I whisper. “He-he died earlier this year. I just—I miss him so much sometimes it gets really overwhelming. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—“ I start crying again, unable to stop myself.

He grabs me in both arms and pulls me onto his lap. Wrapping his arms so tightly around me it’s as though he is protecting me from the entire world.

“I’m so sorry, little starfish. I’m sorry you had to go through that. I can’t imagine that pain,” he says gently, brushing his fingers through my hair and down my back. “You never have to apologize for the way you feel. It’s healthy to let your emotions free. Don’t lock them inside.”

I start crying harder.

It’s the stupidest thing ever, but no one has held me like this or comforted me in this way since I lost my brother. No one has told me it’s ok to cry. No one has made me feel safe enough to let go and let these tears out.

Radmir holds me for ages, the heat of his body soaking into mine. My heart soothed by his voice and his words as he continues to whisper to me and tell me it’s ok.

When I tilt my head back to look up at him my heart skips a beat. His dark grey eyes are piercing. Like a thunder storm, charged and wild and full of emotion.

I can feel it’s going to happen before it happens and no matter what I tell myself later on, I know I want it in the moment.

He presses his lips against mine and the kiss is so soft, yet so intimate that my entire body ignites like a wildfire spreading through a forest. The intensity of this kiss will haunt me long after it’s over.

His hand gently cups my face as he pulls me closer to him. The kiss deepens and my body starts to respond in more heated ways.

That is when I realize that the beginning of the kiss wasn’t only sexual. It was intimate. It was emotional and gentle. All things I cannot fake with a man like this.

I quickly pull away, horrified with myself about kissing the man who killed my brother.

I climb off his lap and look from left to right, for somewhere to run. But I’m already in my own room.

Radmir stands up, looking as bewildered as I am.

“Jade, I’m sorry—“ he mutters.

“Please, can you go? I think I need to be alone,” I say quickly, unable to look at him for fear that I might want to kiss him again.

“I’m sorry,” he says again, then hesitates before nodding and walking out of the room.

My heart is beating way too fast.

I run into the bathroom and close the door, leaning against the back of it and letting the tears flow freely again.

I can’t betray my little brother like that. I’m not here for this.

How can this even be happening?

How can I feel anything but hatred towards that man and how is he managing to trick me into thinking he is anything other than a monster?

I sink down to the floor, pulling my legs up against my chest as I cry silently, letting my guilt spill from my heart and burying my face against my knees.

In this moment I regret coming here. I am so tempted to grab my phone and tell someone to come and fetch me. This might have been the biggest mistake of my life—thinking that I can handle this.

I’ve never felt so disarmed by someone before.

He has this way of making me feel so safe I would tell him anything. He breaks down my defenses and his masculine, yet gentle strength is like a blanket of protection over me that I never knew I have always craved.

I let out a sharp breath.

No.

This is bullshit.

I am so much stronger than his fake manipulative kindness.

I came here for a reason and I will do what I planned.

The cold water I splash against my face forces me back into myself. I stare at my red rimmed eyes in the mirror.

“You can do this, Jade,” I promise myself.