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“Do you know anything about his opponent tonight?” I ask, excited to see Renat in the cage again. Even though he doesn’t seem to like me, I’ve kind of figured out that it’s normal for him to be suspicious of new people and I shouldn’t take offense to it.

His warning doesn’t necessarily mean he knows anything about me that would put me in danger.

“I don’t. I didn’t have a chance to check in with Roman or Ruvim yet. They are all meeting us there though,” Radmir says, turning into the parking lot of the same derelict building that hosted the fight last time.

“You stay close to me in there,” Radmir warns me as we climb out of the car and walk towards the doors.

“I know.” I giggle, enjoying his overprotective nature.

He slips his arm around me after the bouncer lets us in.

The other night, when we shared all of those stories, talking about my brother with him felt very healing. I haven’t been able to talk to my siblings like that because they’ve been in as much pain as I have. Talking to Radmir, sharing those memories—it was cathartic and special. It was like I was keeping Grigor’s memory alive in my heart, but not in pain, in happiness instead.

And ever since I did that I’ve felt even closer to Radmir.

He makes me feel so safe. So protected and so adored.

It’s scaring me how close I’m growing to him.

I keep pushing the emotions away and they keep bubbling back up to the surface, stronger and stronger each time.

We make our way down the stairway into the sweaty, smoky arena. Similar music pulses through the air and I realize that the heavy beat must energize the fighters, blocking out the other sounds and the crowds yelling so that they can fully focus on what’s going on in the cage. Of course, you can’t block out the crowd fully. They are loud. Like seriously loud.

The fight going on as we walk in must be an especially exciting one as the people are going wild.

I glance towards the cage as we make our way to our usual table and see a man fly across the floor and slam into the bars with a loud clang. Wincing, I scrunch my nose and imagine the pain he might be in.

“Hey, hey,” Roman says, standing up and slapping his hand against his brothers in some secret handshake that only they know. “You got here just in time. He’s fighting next.”

“Excellent. Can we order drinks?”

“I’ve ordered a bucket of beers on ice. Uh… Jade is that ok with you?” Roman asks, raising his brows at me.

“Yup, I love beer. I have no problem with that.”

Roman nods, impressed. “I like a girl who drinks beer,” he chuckles.

Radmir throws him a warning look, a slight smile, and then tugs me close against him.

Roman puts his hands up in the air and laughs.

Renat walks up to the table. “Have the beers arrived yet?” he asks.

“Aren’t you—“ Radmir knots his brows, both of us staring at Renat in confusion.

“Aren’t I what? Santa Claus? The pope? You need to finish that sentence if you want me to answer,” he laughs.

“Aren’t you fighting?” Radmir asks, his voice sounding tight as though he’s already figured out the answer.

“He didn’t tell you,” Roman says tightly.

“Shit,” Renat says. “We thought you knew.”

“Ruvim is fighting,” Radmir says, clenching his jaw. The muscles rippling across his face.

Radmir is standing rigid next to me and I can feel the tension literally flooding off his body.

I step a little closer, trying to soothe him. He places his arms around my shoulders, then shifts and puts them on my waist, then shifts and takes my hand, then shifts and drops it.

“Hey,” I whisper against his ear, "He’s going to be ok.”

“Yeah.” He nods, not looking in the least bit relaxed.

I decide that he needs a little space, so I step away from him, grabbing two beers from the bucket and handing him one.

He takes a massive swig of it and stares dead straight into the cage.

The ref announces Ruvim, hyping the crowd about new blood and a cage virgin. Encouraging them to place bets, to take the chance, and to enjoy the gory show that is about to ensue.

Radmir is pacing on the spot. Rocking back and forth.

He hates this.

I saw him watching Renat when he had full confidence in his brother’s ability in the cage. There wasn’t a flicker of doubt over Renat’s safety, but with Ruvim he is a shredded wreck. My heart aches for him a little because I don’t want to see him this stressed.

The ref slams the cage door shut and Radmir visibly flinches.

The fight starts.

I glance between Ruvim and Radmir and puzzle pieces click together in my mind. Ruvim is the youngest brother, just like Grigor was. Ruvim is the baby, the most protected one, the one everyone worries about.

I reach up and fidget with the ruby hanging around my neck.

Ruvim is Radmir’s weak point.

His kryptonite.

If I take his brother away from him, it will destroy him. The same way it destroyed my family. It will cause the same pain, the same anguish, it will give him nightmares and have him crying in the dark, lonely hours of the morning. I know, because that is what I went through. I know the pain.

And I know Radmir’s weakness.

If I knew this information a month ago I would have been ecstatic. I would have reveled in the fact that I found what I came here to find.

But knowing this, understanding this now—all it does it make me feel sick, right to the pit of my stomach.

It’s been so easy to be relaxed because I hadn’t found anything to use against Radmir. But now I know, and I have to make a choice.

A choice I pretended didn’t need to be made.

I swallow hard and turn my face away from Radmir because it hurts just to look at him.

I’m fighting tears that I don’t want anyone to see.

I stare straight ahead, into the cage, where two men appear to be of equal strength and both putting up a brilliant fight. Ruvim is doing well. He is holding his ground and fighting just as hard as his opponent.

But now, watching Ruvim, I realize that knowing he is Radmir’s weakness means he would need to die for the plan to be effective.

I know him.

I have spoken to him.

I’ve laughed with him and spent time with him.

How can I pass on information that will lead to the ending of his life?

Grigor’s face flashes through my mind and I squeeze my eyes shut. Would my brother even want this? Would he ask this of me?

Anyone would say yes, right? Anyone would immediately agree that their own killer deserved to suffer.

If someone murders you, you want revenge against them and you would expect your family to carry it out for you.

Ruvim’s body slams against the cage and Radmir takes a sharp, visible breath in. His fingers are gripped so tightly around the beer bottle I fear he might smash the glass.

I tentatively reach out towards him, but then pull my hand back. How can I comfort him over his fear about losing his brother when I am standing here trying to figure out if I can go ahead with something that will cause Ruvim’s death .

I set my mouth tight and let a wave of determination wash over me.

But it’s fake. It’s forced. It’s not working.

Your family will be so disappointed in you, Jade.

Your family never wanted you to do this in the first place. They said no for weeks. They never liked this plan.

I chew at the inside of my cheek, thoughts and fears churning together in a washing machine of doubt inside my mind.

The Enzos are relying on me for this. They have been so supportive of me since I lost my brother. Andrei has done so much for me and for my family. His best friend deserves justice, too.

They are all getting impatient with me. I did make promises. Andrei is right. I promised this would be easy. I promised I would be in and out in a matter of weeks. But I had no idea what I was walking into and what would happen to my heart and what I would learn and who I would meet.

I had no idea.

And now I’m almost a different person.

Somehow, this experience has helped me heal a little and overcome that suffocating pain.

I think it was Radmir.

What a joke. What a cruel, mocking joke that the man who killed my brother is the man who helped me heal from the pain.

Not that it will ever go away completely. I understand that. But I’m not hellbent on revenge anymore.

I sigh and press my fingers against my eyes.

I’m so caught up in the turmoil of my own thoughts that when the crowd screams in victory, I jump in fright.

I glance first towards Rad.

He is downing his beer, his brothers are standing next to him, grinning, high fiving each other.

They all look relieved.

I glance towards the cage and a very broken, very beaten looking Ruvim is standing there in the center with his hands raised in the air as he screams his own inner triumph.

He won.

Barely though, by the looks of him.

He sways and staggers a little, leaning against the side of the cage for support.

“He won!” Roman shouts.

“This time,” Radmir says, unimpressed.

“Let’s go.” He turns to me and holds out his hand.

I place mine in his and let him lead me out of the cage fighting arena, up the stairs and to the car park.

He is angry and quiet. Dark and moody.

But he isn’t taking it out on me. He’s just lost in his own thoughts, like I am lost in mine.

In the dark night I look across the car towards him.

His face is tight and pained.

If he lost his youngest brother, it would drive him crazy with guilt. It truly is the key to ruining him and his empire, and his family.

Anxiety sits tightly in my chest.

Neither of us speaks as we drive home and I make sure to go straight into the bathroom and close the door when we get there, turning the shower on I sit on the edge of the bath and cry.

I don’t know what to do.

I want to do the right thing.

I want to avenge my brother, to get justice for his death, to ruin his murderer, but why did I have to meet Radmir? Why did I have to get to know Ruvim and his family?

How am I going to face the Enzos if I don’t go through with the plan? How would I explain this to them? It would be viewed as a betrayal and it would not be taken lightly.

I would be protecting my brother’s murderer.