Page 20

This morning, I had a fight with Ruvim.

He spent the night with the doctor, getting stitches and tending to his injuries. He just doesn’t get how serious this is. He thinks that because he won, he is king of the cage and every fight will be as easy as that one.

They set you with a lower-level opponent for the first fight. And Ruvim got lucky. The moment people start placing more serious bets on him—he becomes a target for foul play.

Renat can still watch his own back, and he has spent years studying the other fighters. Ruvim has no clue how this really works.

He is a goldfish in a pool of sharks.

I stand up, pushing my chair away from the desk. I worked from home today, even though it’s the weekend I had to try and distract myself. It didn’t work, though. I’m angry with Ruvim, and I’m angry with Jade. Because on top of that whole cage fighting frustration, Jade has been avoiding me since we left the fight. I can’t imagine why, but she’s spent the entire night and the whole of today pushing me away and giving me short one worded answers when I try to speak to her.

I fucking need her right now and she’s pushing me away for seemingly no reason.

And it’s starting to get to me.

Every time I think that things between us are improving, she switches sides and turns the cold shoulder.

I’m tired of it. It’s not fair to me.

I have a right to know if she is interested or not so that she can stop playing with my heart, thoughts and ideas of our future.

I know what I want, and I’ve been trying to make it as clear as possible to her. I’ve given her time to process things and come to her own conclusions. But she’s playing hot and cold.

She’s playing games with me.

And I don’t play games when it comes to things like this.

If there is nothing between us, I want to know now so that I can move the fuck on with my life. Although, at this point, I have no idea how that will be possible.

The idea of losing her, even what I have now, aches deep inside me like a virus blooming through my body.

Taking the risk of confronting her is a double-edged sword.

If she says no—I lose the little interactions we have now.

But the few interactions we have now are driving me crazy.

I need to know. For my own sanity.

I storm downstairs with a thundercloud brewing above my head. A proverbial tornado, precariously close to unleashing and slipping out of my control.

I am not usually one to lose control, but she has me in a mess.

Jade is sitting in the living room, reading a book. She looks up at me when I march into the room and glare at her.

“What are you doing?” I demand, standing next to the sofa and glaring at her.

“What do you mean?” she asks, lowering the book and resting it against her chest, open on the page she is busy with.

“Don’t play coy with me, Jade. You know exactly what I mean.” My heart is beating faster than it should be and the anger is quickly rising.

“Rad—“ she stammers. “I—it’s—what do you mean?” Her face has gone pale, she looks shocked by my confrontation. Obviously, I haven’t ever spoken to her like this before. I’ve only ever been gentle and warm towards her.

“Your cold games. The way you think you have a right to tease me with possibilities for a future with you, but then the next moment you refuse to even look at me,” I snap.

“A future?” she mumbles, setting the book down and sitting upright on the sofa. She no longer looks comfortable.

“Don’t play games with me, starfish. It’s time for you to tell me exactly what it is you want from me. I can’t take this anymore. You need to decide, and I want to know. Right now.”

She stands up, tilting her head and knotting her brows.

“Decide what?” she asks cautiously.

“Are you kidding? You have to decide if you want this? What the hell are you doing here? Don’t pretend like you don’t know exactly what I’m talking about.” I’m shouting, and I hate shouting, but she has to hear me. I’m silently going crazy. Day by day—losing myself to her.

She opens her mouth to speak but then changes her mind.

“Say it.”

“What?”

“The first thing that came to mind. I dare you,” I snarl.

“Stop being like this,” she snaps back at me.

“I won’t. I have a right to know what you want from me. Have I not tried to give you everything you need?” I step closer to her, closing the distance between us and feeling that string that ties us pulling tighter against my heart.

“You don’t just get to march in here and start shouting at me!” she yells with wild panic in her eyes. She’s flustered and overwhelmed. I can see straight through her.

Her hazel eyes are fuming, sparking yellow and fierceness. She turns as though she wants to walk away from me, and I grab the back of her neck, pulling her back to face me. “No,” I whisper darkly. “You don’t get to leave now, you don’t get to shut me out, Jade. Can’t you see what you are doing to my heart?” My tone has gone from angry to darkly desperate.

I hold her face close to mine and force her to look at me. I want her to see the pain in my eyes. The need. The urgency.

“Radmir,” she whispers, her breath warm against my mouth.

I grip the back of her neck tighter.

“You’re hurting me,” she whispers.

“Talk to me, Jade.” Our eyes are locked and the flicker of fear in hers is a temptation I never knew I wanted.

A single tear drifts down her cheek, falling silently. I let it fall. I don’t wipe it away for her.

“I love you,” she whispers, so quietly it’s lost on her lips.

But I heard her.

And my heart explodes like a nuclear bomb, shooting pain and joy through my body.

I crash my mouth into hers and nothing else matters.

Kissing her now is more intense and more intimate than ever before. She is mine. She confessed it. She loves me and I love her.

I want to tell her… I want to say the words to her, but I can’t do anything but kiss her. Taste her, consume her, until she is entirely and utterly spent in my arms.

We move together with feverish passion.

Tearing each other’s clothes off in the heat of the moment, desperate and savage.

I grab the edges of her shirt and pull it over her head, hearing a ripping sound and not caring.

She fumbles with my shirt buttons while I tug at her jeans. Once her button is open she pushes me back, away from her, and then starts to wiggle out of them while I pull the shirt off my shoulders and unbutton my own pants.

We both step out of our clothes at the same time, kicking them free of our feet and sending them skidding over the floor.

“Take them off,” I demand, eyeing her translucent white underwear. As gorgeous as they look on her, I want to see her naked, bare and exposed for my eyes only.

She slows down as she slips out of her delicate bra and panties. My cock is so hard, throbbing and pulsing with need.

I ignore it, admiring every inch of her, overwhelmed by so many emotions that I can’t lock onto one of them to describe it.

I reach out and take her hand, pulling her body, made to perfection, right up against mine.

“Jade, I’m in love with you,” I whisper against her ear as I brush her long dark hair over her shoulder.

She shivers and goosebumps break out over her arms.

Touching my finger beneath her chin, I lift her face to mine.

I say it again, this time looking into her beautiful eyes.

“Jade… I am in love with you.”

Her eyes relax, her brows rising slightly, hope flickers across her face and—love. I see it in her eyes.

“I-I love you too, Radmir,” she says strain in her voice.

“So, stop fighting it,” I growl softly, sliding my hands down her back, cupping her ass cheeks and lifting her into my arms.

She wraps her arms around my neck and leans her face close to mine. Her lips brush over mine. Not a kiss. Something gentle. Something innocent. She brushes them over mine again and the softness of her breath and skin tease me.

I step towards the wall and press her back against it.

She giggles from the coldness. Squirming for a moment.

The enticing sound of her laughter makes my cock throb.

I reach my arm around the front of her thigh, threading my arm through her legs and hooking her knee over my bicep, I lift her legs against my body to pull them apart. One locked over my arm, the other around my waist. She moans softly and the gentle touch of our lips turns into a kiss.

My cock brushes over her pussy and she moans again, a little louder, a little more urgent.

I dip my tongue inside her and at the same time I slowly thrust my cock into her as well.

The delayed pleasure, as I inch forward, deeper inside her, but not completely connected with her. It is a torture and an ecstasy I can almost not handle.

Jade is hardly breathing at all with the sensations of my cock pushing her pussy open and filling her up. Her eyes are closed, and her head is tilted back. I watched her, savoring the expression on her face, the way her lips part and the flutter of her dark lashes.

I push forward until I am completely buried inside her. Then I stop, pausing to gain control, to feel every muscle twitch and to listen to her breathing, waiting for it to even out ever so slightly. My cock throbs inside her and she moans again, letting out a little purr of pleasure.

I pull out, and slam into her. Her back gets shoved against the wall and she gasps loudly. I do it again and suddenly, we are both in a frenzy of pleasure. She is digging her fingers into my shoulders as she tries to tug me towards her every time I move backwards with my hips. And each time I penetrate her, she lets out the sweetest little cry of utter resolve.

I wrap my hand around her jaw and push my lips against hers. We kiss while I fuck her, our bodies moving together in an intimate dance of fire.

She told me she loves me and that is the only thing in the world that I want to know right now.

She loves me.

My emotions surge and I move even faster, pushing harder, my cock growing more rigid inside her.

Her moans are becoming quicker and more intense as her hand reaches up and knots in my hair.

“Radmir—“ she gasps, just as the orgasm electrifies her with pleasure. I thrust so deep into her that it feels as though we are one person. My cock pulses as my own orgasm waves through me in time to hers.

She gasps in my arms, tilting her head back against the wall.

I rest my face against her shoulder until I’ve caught my breath, then I look up at her, smiling.

“Jade—“ I whisper, but my words are cut short.

She is crying. Silently, desperately trying to fight the tears, but they are streaming down her face.

I lower her to the floor, gently letting her escape my hands and she takes a step away from me, holding her hands self-consciously in front of her naked body.

Her tears become richer, some kind of hurt running through her blood.

“Jade, what’s wrong?” I mutter, stepping towards her again.

She covers her face with her hands and shakes her head.

“Speak to me, little starfish. Whatever it is we can work it out, everything, anything… We can do it together.”

She leans her back against the wall again and sighs bitterly.

“I’m not who you think I am, Radmir,” she sobs, her voice muffled against her hands.

I reach out and take her hands in my mine, dropping them away from her face so that I can see her.

“Jade, what do you mean?” I ask.

“I’m not—you deserve one of those beautiful girls, someone who deserves to be loved by you. Someone who isn’t… me.”

“Jade,” I say in horror. Does she have no idea how beautiful she is. Why would she say something like this?

“Everything about me—Radmir, I’m not the girl for you.”

I grab her face in my hands, speaking stern and clear.

“You are everything I want. I love you no matter what you think is wrong with you. I see nothing wrong.”

“You don’t know everything about me—“

“I’ll learn. We will work it out together.”

She crosses her hands self-consciously over her stomach again and my heart breaks for her. She truly does not understand how gorgeous she is to me. I wish she could see herself through my eyes. If she could see what I saw she would be smiling every day for the rest of her life.

I wrap my arms around her and hold her tight against my chest.

“Little starfish,” I whisper. “I love you for what I see in those beautiful eyes of yours, for your heart, for your kindness, and I think you are the most gorgeous woman on this planet.”

She is still crying softly, hiding her face against my chest.