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As Renat drags me towards his car my heart relents to the fact that he is going to kill me.

It’s an acceptance I embrace with some form of peace in my heart. It’s what I deserve. I can’t blame any one of his brothers for wanting to do this, especially not Radmir.

He cuffs my wrists with cable ties and pushes me onto the backseat. One of his security guys is sitting there, a gun resting on his lap, a warning in his eyes.

Not that I will try anything.

I accept my fate.

I earned it.

Renat doesn’t say a word as we drive slowly through the city towards his mansion. I should be crying, or begging, or trying to reason with him for my life, but I can’t.

Inside I’m as cold as the frozen lake we used to skate on when we were young, before we knew how cruel life could be. That turquoise ice, clear and void of anything but cold—that is me right now. I can’t even pull a thought together. My body is rigid and immoveable. My heart is empty.

It’s a form of survival. I know this because it’s the same feeling I had when they told me my brother was dead. I remember it so clearly.

I was in the swimming pool with my sister. Malkov walked into the garden with the strangest look on his face and my heart sank the moment I saw him. Something was so terribly wrong. Arkady was following him. A blank expression on his face.

Malkov said the words. Grigor is dead. And I shook my head. The world moving in slow motion. I looked at my sister, waiting for her to tell me he’s joking. But it wouldn’t have been a very funny joke. And he wasn’t.

I remember Amber climbing out of the pool and running to Malkov. She was crying and demanding to know how and why and what.

I just stood there.

I couldn’t move.

I was the frozen lake then, and I am the frozen lake now.

Denial.

Shut down.

Nothing.

It doesn’t matter if I live or die.

Renat drags me from the car and up towards his house. He tugs me upstairs and throws me into a room, slamming the door behind me.

I turn and look at it in confusion. Why am I here? Why isn’t he throwing me into the basement, it would be easier to clean up the mess of my death down there.

I stand at the window, staring out into the garden, waiting.

***

A day goes by and I stop waiting for death and start thinking about Radmir and the pain he is in. Thinking about the man I love and what I have put him through… It makes my own pain feel insignificant.

I think about my brothers and my sister and how worried they must be. I think about Ruvim.

All of these people are in this position because of choices I made and now I understand why I’m not dead yet.

It’s because I have to get Ruvim back.

It doesn’t matter that Radmir killed my brother, I can’t do the same thing to him. And I am the only one who can lead him to the Enzo family who are known for their skills at disappearing.

On the second night, trapped in the bedroom at Renat’s home, I start searching for a way out. If it’s the last thing I do, I will save Ruvim.

No longer in a silent stupor of self-pity, I move through the room and manage to find a window that is not secured correctly. Using a knife from the plate of food I left uneaten on the bedside table, I begin to pry at the window. It takes a good thirty minutes before the latch breaks away completely. I breathe a sigh of relief and push the window open wider, stepping up onto the ledge to climb out.

My stomach churns with nervous fear as I peek over the edge, down to the ground two stories below. The drain pipe looks sturdy, but I worry about it holding my weight.

Either way, I have to try.

I climb all the way onto the ledge and then scream blue murder when I feel hands dragging me back into the bedroom. I kick and shout and yell, demanding to be released. He throws me onto the ground, and I demand again. “Let me go!” But Renat just stares at me with a blank expression. His arms are folded across his chest.

He waits, patiently, for me to settle down.

I huff loudly, fighting tears.

“Are you done?” he says sarcastically. His dry tone grating against my nerves and bubbling the anxiety in me.

When I don’t answer, he grabs my arm and hauls me to my feet. He’s much stronger than he looks.

He drags me down the passage and pushes me into a chair in front of a computer screen.

I try to stand up again and he shoves me back down.

“What game are you playing? Just kill me and get it over with,” I snap, testing his patience and my own.

I don’t want to die.

Renat points at the screen and waits.

I turn my head to look at two open windows, each with a video paused.

He pressed play on one of them.

My heart clenches and my blood runs cold. It is a video of my brother’s murder. Blurry and pixilated and heartbreaking.

I’ve seen a still image of this view before. I saw it when Andrei asked the Enzos to investigate Grigor’s death and they brought me this evidence.

I stare at the screen. My brother still alive, trapped in this blurry world. His movements so familiar to me. The way he lifts his hand and turns his head.

My entire body tenses when the man standing behind him draws a gun and points it at my brother. No . Run Grigor. Escape .

The man.

Radmir . Tall, muscular, light brown hair and a shadow of a beard.

The man I know so well… but I don’t know at all. Looking at this video reminds me that he has another side to him. A side I’ve never met.

I clench my jaw and sit rigidly, confusion soaking through my heart.

Renat pauses the video before it gets too gory and I silently thank him for not leaving me with that image.

I’m crying as he clicks play on the other video.

A video of Radmir in one of his warehouses, pointing and giving instructions to some of his workers. This video is much clearer. His face makes my heart break. I hurt him so badly.

“What do you want from me?” I ask weakly, not understanding the point of any of this.

“Pay attention, Jade. Roman worked hard to find this video for me,” he complains, pointing at the lower corner of the screen on the video of my brother and Radmir.

I read out the small numbers imprinted on the footage—the date and time.

“And?” he snaps.

I look at the other video and read out the same date and time.

A minute apart.

“And?” he says impatiently.

“And… it wasn’t Radmir,” I whisper as a cold sweat runs over me. “It couldn’t have been Radmir.”

I squint at the man standing over my brother on the paused screen. His height, build and features all resemble Radmir, but the video is too grainy to say without doubt that it’s actually him.

I sit, dumbfounded, staring at the screen.

I don’t know what to say. I’m overwhelmed by confusion. What does this mean? Radmir did not kill my brother. But who did?

The Enzo family was wrong when they told us who it was, I can see why they made the mistake though, the man looks so much like him.

I chew at my lip, narrowing my eyes, drawing a blank, stalled in my thoughts.

Next to me Renat sighs loudly and when I look up at him he rolls his eyes. Does he always have to be such an asshole? Although, he hasn’t killed me which I’m grateful for.

He slides a picture across the desk and lets it sit in front of me.

A picture of a man who might resemble Radmir in a blurry video, with the same hair and angular jaw, the same height and bulky muscles, but his eyes are dead and cold. He isn’t good-looking. He looks rough and mean and his face has a thick scar running from his forehead to his chin.

“Who is this?” I mutter, not able to tear my eyes from the picture. It sends cold shivers down my spine just looking at him.

“John Grecko. A killer for hire. He has been working in the industry for decades. This is the man who killed your brother, Jade. And this is who he was working for.” He slides another piece of paper in front of me.

It’s proof of payment. The letterhead is familiar. I’ve seen it before, long ago on my uncle's desk before he passed away, back when my family and the Enzos came into alliance. The familiar emblem of the Enzo family.

The letterhead is stamped with that same emblem. The crest of the Enzo family and when my eyes scan across the page I can quickly see it is proof of payment for a large sum of money, made to John Grecko. The man in the photo.

“They paid him?” I mutter, more to myself than Renat.

“Look at the date of payment.”

Everything I’ve believe for the past year crumbles away beneath my feet.

The payment is dated the same day as my brother’s death. Just a few hours after his murder. Job well done. Here’s your money.

“John Grecko was hired to kill your brother, Jade. He was hired by the Enzos, who then tricked you into thinking it was Radmir so that they could use you to infiltrate our family and help them take us down.”

“No,” I say so quietly it’s hardly audible. “I—“ I know there is no other thing that makes sense. They did this. They killed my brother. They had me believe it was Radmir. But it hurts so deep inside to know how intimately I have been betrayed. And that they spent months edging at my grief to push me towards the idea of seeking revenge for my brother's death.

They used my pain—pain that they first created, and then twisted and guided me towards their own goals.

“Why—why did they have to kill him?” I look up at Renat, tears streaming down my cheeks. I know there is no answer he can give me that will bring Grigor back. I just had to ask. And he doesn’t answer.

Renat stands next to me, looking uncomfortable.

“Can you take me to see Radmir?” I ask, assuming he will refuse.

“Yeah. Come on,” he says, turning to walk out of the office.

I can’t believe it. He said yes.

My feet trip me up as I scramble from the chair to follow him.

I look like shit, I feel like shit, and I have no idea what I’m going to say to him, but I have to see Radmir.

The car ride feels like an infinite loop of tension.

All the way there I am picking at my nail varnish, biting my lip and fighting tears.

How will I make this right?

I’ve been made such a fool of and used so badly, but I still have to own the choices I made that resulted in Ruvim being taken.

Renat parks inside the security fencing at Radmir’s house and climbs out of the car.

He walks towards the door without waiting for me and again I’m scrambling to catch up.

The moment I step into Radmir’s home I want to collapse to the floor and cry. Every memory I shared with him comes flooding into me and I realize that this is the first place, in the entire world, where I have felt most welcome, most at ease, and the most loved.

I follow stiffly behind Renat as he leads me through to the living room where Radmir is sitting on the sofa.

“Rad,” he says as we walk in.

“What is she doing here?” he says coldly.

“She asked to speak to you. I will be in the kitchen.”

Renat turns to walk out and I’m suddenly alone with Radmir.

“What do you want, Jade ?” he says my name as though it were a toxic slime he wants to scrape from his tongue.

“I want to help.” I fumble my words. My tongue feels thick and isn’t moving easily. I’m so dizzy with anxiety. Just being in front of him again, I can barely see straight.

He laughs. Not the sound I know. It’s dry and cold and malicious.

“You want to help, right? How sweet. What would you like to do? Invite the Enzos over for dinner and have them take me in my sleep?” He flicks dirt from under his nail, not looking at me, treating me like the scum he thinks I am.

His actions are breaking me down. I don’t know what I expected… I guess I had hoped that he would at least hear me out.

“Rad—“ I try again.

“Radmir,” he corrects me.

I bite my lip. I’ve chewed at it so much I can taste blood.

“Radmir, I might be the only one who can help you get Ruvim back.”

He stands up, his eyes are dark and grey and threatening. He points his finger into my face and snarls when he speaks. “Don’t you dare say his name,” his voice so low it’s like a blade cutting against my heart.

I nod weakly. He will never forgive me.

I don’t know what to do.