Page 21

Last night was the best and worst night of my life.

Radmir confessed his love for me. He opened his heart and poured it out in a mix of rage and desperation and even though I knew it was a terrible idea—I did the same.

We collided and fell into each other and I don’t think I will ever be the same again after that.

How could I not?

How could I not confess that I love him too?

When he told me he was in love with me, every ounce of denial I’ve been holding onto disintegrated. It vanished, washed away in a tidal wave of relief and hope and a dream of what my life could be like with him. An unrealistic dream.

It was beautiful.

It was deep and intimate and…

It was terrifying.

Once the intensity of the moment slammed into my heart and then slowly started to settle again, when I was locked in his embrace after the passion had concluded and I could almost breathe again.

I shattered inside.

Because what right do I have to be in love with him?

And how would he ever continue to love me if he knew who I really was?

I almost confessed everything, leaning against his chest, with my heart in my hands and tears on my cheeks. I almost told him the truth and then I was going to beg him to forgive me.

But I couldn’t find the words.

I couldn’t get them out of my throat and into the world.

They were trapped inside me just like the poison of my own guilt, festering and bleeding out, edging me closer to oblivion.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, late in the afternoon, not knowing what to do with myself—I am fidgeting with my phone.

I want to quiet my thoughts so I can think clearly for just a few minutes so I can do what I have to do.

I want to call Andrei and tell him there is no way that I can go ahead with this anymore. But how do I explain my choice?

And what about the promises I made to the Enzo family? What about my duty to my family, and my brothers’ revenge? All of these things are weighing heavily on me, but the most clarifying thought I have right now, sitting in the late afternoon sun as it spreads it’s winter rays over the bedding— I know I love Radmir.

I love him and in this moment that is all that matters.

So, regardless of how scary it is to let other people down—it is what is going to happen. As soon as I pluck up the courage to make the call.

I flip my phone over in my hands, again and again.

Just dial the number.

Or send a message. Either way. Do something.

Chewing at the inside of my cheek I push myself—encourage myself to be brave, but I’m not brave at all about this.

I don’t want to lose Radmir. I don’t want the Enzo family to think I am a traitor, even though that is exactly what I am. From all sides.

No matter which angle I come at this problem from, Radmir is going to hate me when he finds out.

My phone rings and I practically throw it across the room I get such a terrible fright. A jarring sound breaks through the silence in a shrill, unwelcome song—one I chose. A song I like.

I toss my phone in the air and then hurry to catch it again.

In the fumble, I accidentally answer it and the musical ringtone stops.

“Hello?” the voice on the other end says as I try to regain control of it and press it against my ear.

“Hello,” I say, not sure who I am talking to.

“Hey, girl,” Ruslana says cheerfully. “What are you doing?”

“Nothing really. Just… sitting around.” I glance around the room, relieved it isn’t someone else calling me.

“Where’s my brother? Why isn’t he entertaining you?” she laughs.

“He’s out somewhere. I’m not sure. He left an hour or so ago.”

I was so distracted and deep in thought when he stuck his head in the door that I didn’t hear what he said.

I need the time alone anyway. It’s difficult to look into those dark, warm grey eyes when I am hiding so much from him.

“Oh, he’s probably gone to watch Ruvim fight again.”

“He’s fighting again?” I mumble in shock. “But he’s still got stitches in, and he’s hardly recovered from the other night.”

“Boys will be boys.” She brushes off.

But this is so much worse than she understands. Ruvim is in danger, more danger than he might know. If anyone else has figured out that he’s the key to Radmir’s destruction—they will fix the fight.

And honestly, it’s not like Radmir was hiding his stress at the last fight night. He was so visibly distraught it was like a flashing red light and sirens going off around him, drawing attention to his kryptonite.

“Shit, sorry, Ru. I have to go. I’ll talk later ok—“ I say, already moving to hang up.

“What—wait—aren’t we going to hang out—“

But I’ve put the phone down. I don’t have time.

I’m panicking. I know for sure that Radmir did not say he was going to watch Ruvim fight. That I would have registered.

I have to stop Ruvim.

I have to talk him out of this before something really does happen to him.

I can’t let the plan go on, even though I know I won’t be part of it. If it still happens, it’s still on me.

I know him. He doesn’t deserve this. His whole family doesn’t deserve this.

If he dies that will be on me. And I know what an innocent, sweet and beautiful soul he has.

My throat is tight with stress.

Shit .

I took too long to come to my senses so that I could stop this.

I am already flying down the stairs, grabbing a set of car keys on my way past the front door.

I push the button, not sure which car I have the keys for and parked a little way from me, the Audi beeps unlocked.

I climb inside and bump my head.

Karma is a funny thing.

I deserve so much more karma than that.

I hustle, moving fast but trying to stay calm as I slam the car into gear and rush towards the warehouse where they host the cage fights.

Vengeance isn’t in my heart anymore. I was consumed by it, not that long ago, but I stopped letting it eat me alive from the inside out. The weight of it actually left me a while ago, but last night was the first time I openly acknowledged it and understood the reality of what I had to do.

It wasn’t an easy thing to come to terms with because what I have to do requires throwing myself under a bus. My whole world is going to fall apart and somehow I know I deserve it.

But now, with Ruvim entering the next fight, already weakened from his previous injuries, now I might be too late to stop what is in motion.

I wish Radmir hadn’t been so obvious in his discomfort watching his little brother fight.

Dammit .

I wish I had never been a part of this plan in the first place.

But then I would not have met Radmir.

“None of this matters if you can’t stop Ruvim from fighting,” I warn myself as I turn into the parking lot of the familiar derelict building.

It’s weird being here without Radmir. A little scary. This is not the nicest of places, packed with shady character and dark dealings.

But I don’t have time to dwell on it.

I hurry from the car, walking up to the bouncer. He opens the door and looks at me. Shit. The code . I don’t know today's password.

“Do you recognize me?” I ask tensely.

“I do.”

“My friend is in there, he’s fighting in a bit, and he’s not answering his phone to give me the code,” I tell him.

He eyes me up and down.

“Whose your friend?”

“Kuznetsov Ruvim and Renat—uh, the Night Hawk.”

He bites at the inside of his cheek as he mulls it over.

“Oh please, you were standing right here when Renat and I were chatting the other night by the car,” I say in desperation.

“Yeah. Yeah, I was,” he sighs. “If anyone asks—I’ll deny letting you in without the code.” His brows raise at me and I nod enthusiastically. “Thank you!” I exclaim, moving to hug him but then changing my mind. I clear my throat and step around him, then run downstairs into the main area.

But it’s chaos.

There is no music playing and people are rushing around in odd panic.

I grab the waiter who runs past me. “What’s going on?” I demand.

“Renat’s brother was just taken. A bunch of guys ran in with guns and Kevlar and masks—it was fucking crazy man… They just took him.”

“Ruvim,” I say in horror.

“Yeah, that’s his name. The new fighter.”

“Who took him?” I shake the waiter, gripping his arm tightly.

“Sheesh lady, I don’t know, what the fuck?” he snaps, pulling his arm back with a wide-eyed look of fear.

Behind me, a tall guy with dark eyes touches my shoulder. “It was the Enzo family,” he says, looking down his crooked nose at me. It’s been broken more than once.

“Are you—are you sure?” I mumble, fearing the worst.

“Renat is a good friend of mine. I was right there with his brother, helping him get ready, I saw it with my own eyes.”

Someone calls out a name and the tall guy turns away. He forgets about me and hurries over to someone else.

I have to warn Radmir. I have to call Andrei. I have to do something. I need to help Ruvim.

Bolting back up the stairs, I push past the bouncer and out into the parking area, running straight into Renat. All of the air is pushed from my lungs as I crash into him.

He growls at me and grabs my shoulder.

“Look what we have here,” Renat says coldly.

Radmir steps out from behind him. “Jade?” his voice is thick with confusion. “What are you doing here?” His grey eyes are like steel rods of disbelief.

“I-I came to—“ I trip over my words, wanting to tell him everything all at once.

“Don’t bother, Jade Andreev,” Renat says, and my heart sinks so low in my stomach I want to vomit. “ I can tell Radmir exactly why you’re here.”

“Radmir—“ I turn to him, but Renat digs his fingers into my shoulde,r causing sharp pain to shoot through me. I clench my teeth in agony.

“This little rat has been working with the Enzos the entire time, Radmir,” Renat says. “She’s been undercover, gathering information, waiting for a chance to strike against our family. And now she has—she’s helped them kidnap our brother.” Renat spits hate at me with each word.

“Wait—” I gasp. “Please, let me—”

“Shut your mouth, bitch. Our brother was taken because of you. Because of what you did,” Renat snarls into my face.

I look from him towards Radmir, pleading with my eyes for him to let me speak.

Radmir’s face sinks into darkness. “How do you know this?” Radmir demands, speaking to Renat.

“Roman and I did a deep dive on her. Oh yes, we came up with the same cover story you first found. The internship of Jade Blake, her little fake life with her little fake name, but that’s all it was—a cover for the real person who has been living in your house.”

There is a tense moment of silence, so heavy I think my legs might collapse beneath me. The air is too thick to breathe.

“Jade?” Radmir whispers my name, begging me to tell him that none of this is true. “Are you involved with the Enzo family?”

I bite my lip as my heart falls to pieces. There is no point in lying to him. Renat has all the evidence and Ruvim has already been taken.

“I am,” I whisper back, my voice breaking as I speak.

Behind us, Roman, Rodion and Rigor climb out of the car. They have been listening to everything. Everyone is staring at me in disbelief, disappointment and hatred.

My skin is burning red with guilt and shame.