Page 11 of Pieces into Place (Moonflower Cove Romance #16)

Blake

B lake felt like a kid in timeout as she sat at the table beside Alexis.

Everyone around them was leaving; the party was clearly over after Isla had stormed out.

Deep down, Blake knew she was the cause of that.

Not only because Isla had yelled at her but also because neither Vera nor Mason would look at her.

“We should go.” Alexis finally said after sitting in silence for what felt like forever. As they gathered up the kids, Emily pulled Blake aside.

“Hey, are you okay?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“Well,” Emily gestured around the room, “everything that went on tonight. You being late. I just wanted to check in.”

“I’m fine, Em.”

“You know I’m here if you ever need to talk, right?”

“I told you I’m fine.”

“Because I’ve been where you are. Fairly recently actually.” Emily nervously fiddled with her fingers as she spoke. “My pregnancy made all my emotions so heightened. I know how hard that can be. I’m just saying… you’re not alone. And I’m here if you need me. ”

“Thanks.” Blake hated how the word came out almost as a snip, but there was no taking it back. She put Archer’s jacket on as the five of them headed out the door.

Since their house was so close, they had walked to the party. Alexis and the kids had left well before Blake, but Blake had been in the middle of working and didn’t want to lose that momentum. Especially when it was rare that she had a moment of free time to focus just on writing.

Deep down, Blake knew the real reason she hadn’t gone to the party with Alexis and the kids.

And she knew Alexis did, too. But Blake struggled to admit out loud that the Mackenzie parties made her sad.

She never had that kind of family growing up, and it was a glaring reminder of everything she had missed.

Blake spotted Mason putting her son, Silas, into his car seat. She smiled at her, but Mason turned away from her. If the daggers in Mason’s eyes were real, Blake would have been dead.

“Hey, I’m gonna go talk to Mason. I’ll meet you at home.”

“Okay.” Alexis nodded, continuing down the street with their kids following her like little ducks.

As Blake walked toward Mason, she tried to think of anything to say to her. Anything at all that might salvage the night ever so slightly.

“Hey.”

“I’m not in the mood, Blake.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Blake,” her voice sounded more like Isla’s than Blake had ever realized, “I said no. Not tonight. Not after everything you’ve already done.”

As Mason shut the back door to the SUV, Blake took a step in front of her to block her from getting into the passenger seat.

“Don’t do this.”

“I don’t want you to be mad at me. ”

“Well, it’s too fucking late for that, isn’t it?” Mason tossed her arms up in the air before crossing them over her chest. “My mom has never yelled at me the way she did tonight. And the only reason she did is because of you. You’ve hurt her so damn much that she can’t crawl out of her grief.”

“Mace,” Chase’s voice was stern as she got out of the SUV and walked around to Mason. But Mason shook her head.

“It’s okay.” Mason took hold of Chase’s hand. “I need to say this.”

Blake tried to prepare her already breaking heart for whatever Mason was about to say. But nothing could have prepared her for what came out of Mason’s mouth.

“I’ve wanted nothing more than to have my sister back for the last thirty years. I waited and waited for that day and then one day, you showed up out of the blue and I thought, this is it. This is how I get my sister back. But it wasn’t.”

Tears pooled in Mason’s eyes as she continued.

“I’ve watched Mom and Mama deal with their pain for years and yeah, maybe it just became second nature to all of us.

But when you came back, a whole new level of pain emerged.

One that none of us knew how to handle. Especially Mom.

Because in every scenario we had of you coming back into our lives, we never thought you wouldn’t want to be in ours. ”

“Mason,” Blake sobbed, covering her mouth with her hand.

“You moved to the Cove and started your own family with Alexis and never once tried to be a part of our family. The family that has wanted you in their lives for thirty years , Blake. I really don’t think you understand how much your apathy toward Mom and Mama affects them.

How it affects me and Ellie and Brayden and Everleigh.

We didn’t deserve to be treated this way.

You weren’t the only person affected by Ben taking you from Mom. Don’t forget that. ”

“Mason, I’m…”

“Don’t.” Mason shook her head. “Don’t apologize to me or to Mom or to Mama until you mean it. Until you’re ready to change and drop this act that you’re too good for our family.”

Blake didn’t have any comeback to Mason’s words. The pain was clear not only in her voice but also on her face as well. It broke Blake’s heart even more to know her sister had been harboring all those emotions and feelings toward Blake. No wonder they never could fully work on their relationship.

Without another word, she stepped out of Mason’s way as she and Chase got into the SUV and pulled out of the driveway.

Blake stood speechless as she watched them go.

Looking around her, she saw that Emily and Sophia, along with Maddie and Walker, had heard what Mason said.

That much was obvious by the looks on their faces.

Feeling beyond embarrassed, Blake kept her head low as she made a beeline for her house.

Her tears fell from her eyes as she hurried down the street to the house.

She was surprised to see Charlie and Delaney’s SUV pulling out of the driveway, and she waved at them.

Delaney waved back sadly while Charlie kept her eyes facing forward.

Blake dried her tears before walking up the sidewalk.

As she opened the door to the house, she immediately noticed how quiet it was.

“Where are the kids?”

“I texted Charlie before we left and asked her to take them for the night.”

“Why?”

“So we can have this out without worrying about little ears.” Alexis crossed her arms over her chest. “Because, frankly, Blake, I can’t go on pretending like the way you’ve been acting recently is okay. You not only hurt Isla today, but you also hurt Vera and Mason and me.”

“You? ”

“Yes,” she kept her voice strong, “me. I wanted to have a fun night with my wife. And instead you locked yourself into that damn office and worked instead of coming to the party.”

“That work is how we get money for this family.”

“Oh, really, now?” Alexis snorted a laugh. “Because last time I checked our bank account, we barely had enough to stay afloat.”

“Well, maybe we would have more money if you got a job.”

“Hey!” Alexis snapped. “I’ve offered to go back to work, but we decided we would spend more on childcare for the twins if I did. And with adding a baby in a few months, that will just increase our expenses even more.”

“Then maybe we should have waited to have another baby!”

Blake’s words hung in the air between them as she instantly regretted even saying them. She watched nearly every emotion flash across Alexis’s face until she settled on sadness.

“I didn’t mean that, Lex.”

“Then why did you say it?” Her voice was shaking as she dropped her arms to her side. “If you didn’t mean it, why did you say it?”

“I don’t know, Lex.” Blake’s voice broke as she felt her knees startling to buckle beneath her. A wave of guilt washed over her as she thought about the baby growing inside of her. She put her hand on her stomach, wishing she could take back the words she’d just said.

Falling to her knees, Blake sobbed as she covered her face with her hands. Alexis was instantly at her side, wrapping her in a hug and holding her as tightly as she could as they both cried.

“I’m so sorry, Lex. I didn’t mean that. You know I want our baby. ”

“I know.” Alexis repeatedly kissed the top of her head as she held her. “I know, baby. I know.”

“I’m just so scared.”

Repositioning herself to be sitting on the floor, Alexis followed suit and did the same beside Blake. Alexis held her hand with one hand and put the other behind her back. “About what? Talk to me.”

“Everything,” Blake cried. “I’m scared I’m failing as a wife and as a mom. And as a daughter. All of this is still new to me and I have no clue what I’m doing. And then I watch you with the kids and being a mom is so natural to you. Which makes me feel like shit when…”

Her voice trailed off, and Blake realized the secret she’d been harboring for months was ready to be spilled.

“When what, Blake?”

Looking down at her belly, Blake put her hand on it and sighed. “When I’m really struggling to connect with the baby.”

“Oh, honey.” Alexis covered Blake’s hand with her own, gently squeezing it as Blake continued to avoid her eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me? You shouldn’t have been dealing with that all on your own.”

“I didn’t know how to tell you. I watched you with the twins. From the moment you knew you were pregnant, you were connected with them. But me?” Blake shrugged. “I just feel so disconnected from what’s happening inside my own body.”

“I wish you had told me.”

“I wish I had, too. I just didn’t know how.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t notice you were struggling.”

“I guess I’m too good of an actress, huh?” Blake sadly smiled, making Alexis laugh.

“Maybe too good. I knew something was bothering you, but I just assumed it was the stuff with your mom and Vera. ”

“Well,” she sheepishly looked up at Alexis, “it’s that stuff, too.”

“I know.” Alexis took Blake’s hand and squeezed it tightly.

“But I’m your wife. I’m here to support you and love you no matter what is going on inside that pretty little head of yours.

We’re going to get through this. I know we will.

But you have to let me back in, baby. Please. I’m begging you. Let me help you.”

“You mean you’re not mad at me?”

“For having very real feelings? Absolutely not. For not telling me until now? Just a little.” She winked at her, letting her know she was mostly joking.

“But, honey, you have to start letting go of the anger and hurt you have inside you toward Isla. It’s eating you alive and I can see that so much clearer now.

It’s like you’ve let down a wall that I didn’t know you had up. ”

“I’m so sorry, Lex.”

“I know, Blake. I’m sorry for not realizing how much you’re hurting. You hide it too well, and that scares me. Like I don’t want to keep wondering if you’re okay. I want to know you’re okay and that starts with you being open to me, okay?”

“I know. You’re right. I’m going to be better. I promise.”

For a moment, Alexis looked into her eyes as if she was trying to think of what to do next. Blake didn’t dare say a word. She just kept rubbing her belly as she held onto Alexis’s hand.

“Is there anything else bugging you that I should know about before we start working on things?”

“Mason,” she simply stated.

“What about Mason?”

Blake took in a deep breath and held it. “She yelled at me when I tried to apologize to her tonight. She told me that I shouldn’t apologize until I was ready to mean it. ”

As she recounted the story to Alexis, she noticed how Alexis gently put her hand on her stomach and moved her thumb back and forth in one of the most comforting ways Blake had ever experienced. When she was done, Alexis nodded her head.

“Okay, so, adding Mason to the list of people you need to make peace with.”

“It’s a long one.”

“But one we can accomplish together. And maybe with a therapist.”

“I know, I know.”

“I say it out of love.”

“I don’t know why you still love me after today.”

“Because,” Alexis picked up Blake’s hand and tapped her wedding ring, “you’re my wife. I love you and will be by your side through everything. You just have to realize that I’m not going anywhere. Ever. And neither is Isla nor Vera.”

“They might after today.”

“They won’t,” she firmly asserted. “They love you. They want you in their life. You just have to let them .”

Blake firmly nodded. “I will. I promise. I’m going to work on this.”

“I believe you.”

“Good.”

“And as for the baby,” Alexis put her hand back on Blake’s stomach, “I’ll help you there as much as I can.

But I think you should mention it to Dr. Jacobs next time we go, okay?

I know this can be normal for some people, but I don’t have the resources to help you through it.

I feel Dr. Jacobs could help, since I don’t foresee you mentioning this to Vera. ”

“She’d just judge me.”

“No, she wouldn’t.” Alexis shook her head repeatedly. “And she doesn’t hate you, before you say that again. But, honey, I have to ask. Why didn’t you want Vera to be your doctor? Truthfully?”

Blake knew the answer. But vocalizing it? She didn’t know if she could do that.

But if she and Alexis were going to repair their relationship, she had to start somewhere.

“It felt too vulnerable, and I didn’t think I could let her in like that. Not until we have a better relationship.”

Alexis nodded, taking in what Blake had said. “I understand that, and I respect that. Thank you for telling me.”

“Sorry I didn’t tell you before.”

“Well, now I can help you work on it. And for your sake and Vera’s, I hope you let her in sooner rather than later. Same with Isla.”

“And Mason.”

“And me,” Alexis smiled sweetly.

“Always, Lex. Always. I’m done with lying to you. I promise.”

“Good. Because I don’t think I could handle us being mad at each other any longer. It was killing me.”

“Same.”

“But we’re on the same page now. We’re going to work on all this together, okay? I got you. We’re going to repair everything that’s broken. Together.”

“Together,” Blake repeated.