Page 85 of Penalty Shot

“I’ll go with you,” Randall announces and creates a path for us to exit the crowd. He knows the theater well by now, having spent a good amount of time this past week exploring the space. So, when we end up in a storage closet instead of backstage, I know it’s on purpose.

“What’s wrong? Talk to me, Elise.”

“Did you notice? The first five rows were half-empty.”

“No, they weren’t. Maybe ten old people left, but that’s probably because they have weak bladders. Forget them.”

My initial snicker at his joke turns into a half sob.

“I know I shouldn’t care and the performance was great. It’s the play. They hated the play.”

“Fuck that.”

“Randall, I can’t! I can’t ignore what these people think. It was always going to be a risk to premiere experimental work, especially one that adapts Shakespeare. But if these people don’t back me, the play has no future.”

It was meant to run for three weeks and only the first week was sold out. There remains the possibility of later runs beingcanceled. If enough people pull out, willBlood Will Have Bloodeven finish its run?

“It doesn’t matter if a few people left when the rest of the theater loved it. Besides, you can’t know how future audiences will react.”

“Don’t tell me what I know,” I hiss. The words might as well have slapped Randall for how hurt he looks.

“I’m sorry.,” I follow up. “You’re trying to make me feel better, so thank you. Please let me get to the cast and crew so I can congratulate them before I go home.”

“Um, about that. Lily said it would be a good idea, so we sort of, um, arranged a party at the hotel bar where Gordon and she are staying. Just a little gathering to toast and celebrate.”

“That’s really sweet of everyone, though it’s premature to plan celebrations when the reviews haven’t come in,” I state bitterly.

“Reviews don’t determine your success. This is your debut as a playwright and director, Elise. Nothing is going to change how fucking awesome that is. Don’t let a few idiots affectyournight,” he declares.

“Are you saying I’m overreacting?”

“No. I’m saying the event is incredible no matter anyone’s reaction, positive or negative, under or over. OK, that doesn’t make sense, but you know what I mean.”

He stares at me with so much compassion and care, I have no choice but to let his encouragement chip away at the walls of self-doubt.

“I do. I know what you mean.”

“How about this? Instead of going backstage now, take a breather on your own and meet everyone at the bar in thirty minutes. I’ll take the long drive over and promise to be quiet so you can gather your thoughts.”

I’ve never had anyone like Randall who lets me show the worst of my imposter syndrome without judgment. He isliterally going to let me stew in insecurity so I can get it out of my system before facing the world.

“That sounds perfect, Randall,” I mumble.

We drive around downtown in silence for a few minutes before I realize something.

“I forgot to tell anyone else where I am. Ma might worry.”

“I texted her and Lily before we left the theater. They said take your time and they’ll entertain guests till you’re ready.”

“You know my mom’s number?”

“Well, yeah. We had to plan for this big night, didn’t we?”

I shake my head. “Where did you learn to be such an incredible boyfriend, Randall Haughland? Do they teach that in hockey school or something?”

My mood has lightened considerably, which makes it easy to slip into our affectionate teasing.

“No one else is going to teach me how to take care of you, baby. Learning how to be your man ismyprivilege.”