Page 116 of Penalty Shot

“I should be happy for you, shouldn’t I? This is really good for your career,” I state with forced cheer.

“Elise, the last thing I’m thinking about right now is my career. All I really want to know is how you’re taking the news. What are you thinking, baby?”

“That this really fucking sucks,” I burst with no filter. I am eloquence personified in the face of adversity.

“It does,” Randall mutters. “God, I’m so sorry.”

“Why would you be sorry? It’s not your fault that this happened. It’s out of your hands, isn’t it? Please, don’t apologize for being amazing at what you do,” I say and hug him. We’re both in shock, but I can’t resent him for something he could never control.

“That’s not what I’m apologizing for.”

“What then?”

“I’m sorry, Elise, but I’m gonna do everything in my power to convince you to come with me.”

My heart flutters before it crashes. It’s hard to breathe. So much of the last few months logically pointed to us moving in together.

Now, Randall wants me to move to another country. Is that what I want? Is that what’s right for us?

“When do you have to leave?” I ask, not commenting on his statement about me.

“They gave me three days to settle my business here.”

“That’s so quick! How can you get everything done in three days?”

“I just have to bring what I need in the short term. Management will hire the realtor and movers. Training camp is in full swing, so I’m contractually obligated to be in Vancouver.”

“I should pack my things before your movers come,” I state as a matter of fact.

“Elise, look at me.” He engulfs both my hands in one of his. I turn to find his eyes are wide, like a deer in headlights, mid-panic and stock-still.

“What?” I prompt him after an uncomfortable silence. The first uncomfortable silence we’ve ever shared, I realize.

“I don’t want to talk aboutthings. This place and the stuff in it, I don’t care. What I care about is what’s here.” He takes his free hand to smooth my hair back and settle on my forehead.

“And here.” He lowers the hand to lightly press against my chest where my heart is aching.

“I don’t know,” I answer honestly. “Please can we…can we just think about it before saying anything we’ll regret? I need time to process what you’re saying.”

His jaw tightens as if he’s having difficulty holding back. “Yes, of course,” Randall mutters past gritted teeth.

“I have to go to the library to pick up books for the course I’m building,” I say, scrambling for an excuse to get some air outside. “You’ll probably be busy figuring out what you need in the short term. I’ll give you some space.”

When I stand, our connection snaps. A coldness fills the air between us.

Randall’s hands open and close like he doesn’t know what to grab on to.

Neither do I.

I ran five miles after Elise left. Needed to feel pain somewhere other than in my head. My pounding headache started the second she walked away.

Maybe she would have stayed if I begged her to, but what’s the point? Elise wants space and time. I can give her that.

Rather not, but I’ll manage.

Meanwhile, the townhouse is an empty cave without her, the colorful decorations making me miss her even more. Jesus, we’re still in the same city living in the same house, and already she’s slipping away.

The group text with my teammates—or I should say, my ex-teammates—has been blowing up my phone all afternoon. I’ve ignored the messages since the first three are pretty much like the next twenty.