Page 26 of Penalty Shot

Tonight was fun. There’s no point acting like strangers if we bump into each other again. But I have to be clear about the parameters of this arrangement.

“Friends without benefits?” I ask.

He rolls his eyes as if I said the most obvious thing in the world. Nonetheless, he confirms it by repeating, “Friends without benefits.”

March 15

Randall:How was the drive to Cleveland? Is the place you’re renting OK?

Elise:Drive was great. The apartment I’m renting is walking distance to the theater. The only downside is the owner used to run a clown camp. Being here triggers my IT nightmares.

Randall:Is clown camp what it sounds like?

Elise:What does it sound like?

Randall:A place where you wear red noses and learn how to turn balloons into animals.

Elise:Don’t forget the large shoes and juggling balls. Yes, it is what it sounds like. The owner uses the living room to store props and costumes.

Randall:Is he there while you’re renting?

Elise:Nope. He’s a physical comedy choreographer in contract at LA for the next few months.

Randall:That’s not so bad. At least there aren’t actual clowns.

Elise: [sends a picture of a model prop in complete clown costume, a massive wig, and no face]

Randall:WTF! That’s worse than the IT clown.

Elise:I lock the bedroom door at night. Tell me I’m being paranoid.

Randall:You’re being paranoid.

Randall:Actually, TBH, I’d lock my door too.

March 23

Randall:For some reason this reminded me of you.

[picture of rubber chickens]

Elise:What a coincidence. I needed that to complete my outfit.[selfie with a rainbow wig and red nose]

Randall: [laugh emoji]How’s the play going?

Elise:We have callbacks this week and the final casting choices are posted soon after.

Randall:They’ll be lucky to work with you.

Elise:Thanks Randall.

March 26

Elise:What do you know about dating apps?

Randall: [Bubble dots come and go for a few minutes]Why?

Elise:I started my mother’s profile on OkCupid and eHarmony and the choices are brutal.