Page 30 of Penalty Shot

Randall:Hockey players are obsessed with what they put in their body during the season.

Elise:Except you.

Randall:Except me because I have an exceptional metabolism.

Elise:How about I take you and your exceptional metabolism out for burgers and shakes next time I’m around?

Randall:I guess I can wait.

Elise:Have a salad while you’re waiting.

Randall:And I thought we were friends.

April 6

Randall:Are you up?

Elise:Yeah. Stayed out with my dramaturgs from the university.

Randall:Dramaturgs is a funny word.

Elise:I know, right? Like they’re an overly emotional version of turds.

Randall:So what are they?

Elise:Dramaturgs help with character development, thematic consistency, research on the setting, that sort of thing. Imagination Ohio usually invites Shakespeare professors to weigh in. Everyone went out for drinks because there’s no rehearsal tomorrow.

Randall:Don’t suppose they showed the Mavericks game in the bar you were at.

Elise:No, they didn’t. Is everything OK?

Randall:Our goalie got hurt tonight.

Elise:Tell me you’re not speaking about yourself in the third person.

Randall:Our first goalie, Jeremy. I’m the spare.

Elise:Good thing the Mavericks have a great spare, then.

Randall:If he’s not back, I’ll be starting in our playoff series.

Randall:Fuck, texting that sentence is surreal.

Elise:Why? Isn’t that your job?

Randall:Not usually for a whole series. I rarely do consecutive games.

Elise:At least you’re in great shape with all those cheeseburgers you eat.

Randall:Ouch. Is that your pep talk?

Elise:I’ll work on it.

Five minutes later.

Elise: Here’s my pep talk. Are you ready?

Elise:When I watched you live, I thought you were the best player on the ice. But I was also blown away by the team. How everyone stood up for each other. There’s no first or spare or whatever. It’s a game you all play together. As. A. Team.