Page 7 of Overtime Goal (Buffalo Warriors Hockey #4)

riley

This might be the day I’d finally talk to Logan about what had happened in LA.

I’d been nervous as hell for three days, dying to get it over with, but there hadn’t been a good time.

The morning after the Montreal game, we’d flown to Calgary and played that same night.

Then, the next morning, we flew to Edmonton and hit the ice again that day.

Our only breaks had been late-night team dinners and crashing in hotel rooms afterward.

I was too exhausted by then to unpack weeks of confusion, which left talking on the plane as the only alternative.

That was a definite no-go. There was no fucking way I’d talk about what happened in front of the nosiest hockey team I’d ever been a part of.

We’d flown to Chicago this morning, and the team had scheduled a free afternoon and evening for us.

I was determined to get Logan alone and say the things I’d been rehearsing since my talk with Harpy.

What had happened in LA was complicated, but I was sure we could figure it out if I could convince him to open up.

While we waited for keycards in the hotel lobby, Logan said he needed to use the men’s room, and I went along. Fortunately, no one else was there, so I broke the guy code and talked while we were standing in front of the urinals. “Want to grab lunch together? And hang out this afternoon?”

He smiled, and the crinkles around his blue eyes made my stomach flutter. I hadn’t realized how little he’d smiled the last few weeks, and the grin looked good on him.

“Sounds great,” he said. “I could use a break from all the chaos.”

As soon as we got back to the lobby, Holky came running over. “Private powwow, boys?”

“Nope,” Logan said. “Just talking about the schedule. How’s it treating you?”

Before Holky could answer, Packy joined us. “You tell them yet?”

Holky opened his mouth, but Harpy bounded over like a golden retriever on espresso. “The guy convinced them, so we’re on.”

“Easy, Harpy.” Logan leaned against the wall. “No hyperventilating in public. Imagine the headline: Warriors Captain Faints in Hotel Lobby .”

“I’m not fainting.” Harpy’s lips slanted into a grin. “That’s your specialty.”

Logan groaned. “Fuck off. One time, and it was when I had the flu.”

“You went down like a sack of cement,” Holky said.

“No one saw.”

“Except a dozen reporters,” Packy said. “ Is Logan Grayson Seriously Ill? That headline went everywhere.”

We cracked up while Logan tried to salvage his dignity. Once the laughter died down, he shot Harpy a look. “What’s got you buzzing?”

Harpy’s grin widened. “Museum of Science and Industry. The concierge got us special tickets.”

Great. There goes my afternoon with Logan.

I shook my head. “Pass. I’ve been too many times, and it’s for kids anyway.”

“I’m not up for it either,” Logan said quickly. “But you guys enjoy.”

Packy caught my arm. “Not so fast. Let him finish.”

Harpy bounced on his toes. “We’ve all been there before, but these tickets are for the temporary exhibit. The Science of Sports.”

“Shit. I heard the lines are insane. You actually got us in?” The words were out before I could stop them, and I wanted to kick myself in the ass.

“That’s where the concierge came in,” Harpy said. “He has a friend over there who agreed to open the display for us this afternoon. It’ll be ours from five to seven.”

Holky slung an arm around my shoulders. “You’re going. No backing out.”

“You too, Logan.” Packy patted him on the back. “This is not to be missed.”

Logan glanced at me, disappointment written all over his face. I must have matched, because Harpy cleared his throat. “You feeling okay?” He glanced at Logan and then back at me. “If you guys aren’t feeling well, we can tell you about it afterward.”

“Not sick, just tired,” Logan said. “We’ll go, won’t we, Riles?”

“Sure.” I forced a big grin. “Wouldn’t miss it.”

Logan and I didn’t get a second alone. The guys dragged us from a quick lunch to a couple of men’s stores, and then to the museum. I kept thinking Logan and I could peel off after that. We’d sneak back to the hotel, order room service, and have our conversation.

When we left the museum, I thought we were finally free, but Gabe and Brody started talking about dinner. Again, Logan and I exchanged glances, and I tried to beg off.

Brody gave me a playful punch on the arm. “Don’t tell me you can resist the Chop House. I’ve seen you demolish a steak there and consider ordering a second.”

He was right, but my stomach was already heavy, and it had nothing to do with food. Logan and I had been skating around each other the entire trip, and it had to stop. Desperate, I used the same last-ditch attempt I had about the museum. “I love the Chop House, but I’m not in the mood.”

Gabe looked up from his phone. “The restaurant texted, and they’ve shuffled some people so they can take us. We need to get moving, boys.”

That was that. After we ate and took care of pictures and autographs with fans, it was ten-thirty when we arrived back at the hotel.

We all had rooms on the fourteenth floor, and when we got to Logan’s door, he turned toward me.

I spoke before he could say goodnight. “I’m not tired, so I’ll come in for a while.” He hesitated, and I remembered what Harpy had said about not backing off. “That okay with you?” I asked.

A beat passed before he nodded and unlocked the door. Inside, he pointed at the bathroom. “Go ahead.”

When I went back into the room, the lights were dim, and everything was quiet except for the city hum far below.

Logan nodded toward two armchairs angled by the window.

I dropped into one and stretched my legs, trying to steady my nerves while he disappeared into the bathroom.

When he came back, he sat in the chair beside me.

“Want to watch a movie or something?” he asked.

This was the moment of truth, and he knew it. Though he sounded friendly, I could see the tension in his shoulders.

My voice came out steadier than I expected. “Not yet. We need to talk.”

He glanced at his watch, and I thought he might say it was too late for a conversation. Instead, he rubbed his chin and sank deeper into the chair.

“Talk about what?” he asked.

“Come on, Logan.” I leaned forward and propped my elbows on my knees. “Don’t play dumb.”

He kept his eyes straight ahead, probably hoping I’d disappear if he ignored me long enough. After a moment, he sighed. “Aidan, we…”

Shit, my first name. Never a good sign with Logan. “We can’t keep going like we have been,” I said. “Either we talk about what happened and clear the air, or we’ll have to call our friendship over. I won’t stand for that. You’re too important to me, so I’ll talk whether you do or not.”

“We’re doing fine, Riles. We’re spending a lot of time together, and that night you came over?—”

“Bullshit. We’ve been pretending things are okay because we both want them to be that way. But deep down, do you actually believe things are fine?”

He didn’t answer. Back in juniors, I had a coach who’d call me into his office after I screwed something up.

Instead of yelling, he’d say something and let it hang there, heavy as hell.

Eventually, I’d talk just to break the silence.

I tried that technique on Logan, and a full minute ticked by while my heart thumped and Holky talked to somebody out in the hall.

Finally, Logan looked at me and barked, “Goddammit.” His eyes were fiery, but when I said nothing, the flames flickered out. “You’re right,” he said. “It’s time to come to terms with this.”

Before I could chicken out, I started talking. “First off, I’m sorry for being such a bastard the next day. No matter how freaked out I was, you didn’t deserve that. I should’ve handled it better. I sure as hell shouldn’t have said we couldn’t talk about it.”

He didn’t move, so I pressed on. “Since then, you’ve probably not known what to say. If you’ve been as frustrated as I have, you’ve felt kind of fucked, like you couldn’t talk about the only thing you needed to. I’m so sorry for?—”

“Take a breath, Riles. I’m not going anywhere.

” He patted my arm, then seemed to think better of it and pulled his hand away.

“Thanks for what you said, but we’ve both acted shitty.

I was a real prick when you tried to talk in Dallas.

” He let out a shaky breath. “I shouldn’t have let things go as far as they did in LA.

I knew better, but I was lost in the moment. ”

“Me too,” I said. “The kiss on the beach turned my world upside down. We both wanted what happened that night, and even if you’d tried to stop it, I don’t think I’d have let you.”

“But the next morning, you were freaked.”

I nodded. “Everything seemed so natural when it happened. But in the daylight, I didn’t know what to do with it.

I’d never been with a man before, and I panicked.

I thought if I shoved it down far enough, we could forget what happened and go on as friends.

That’s why I said we couldn’t talk about it. ”

“I figured as much.”

Our eyes met, and everything came back, not only what we’d done, but how I’d felt that night. My morning-after panic didn’t change what had happened or how much I’d enjoyed it.

“I don’t regret what we did,” I said. “It was beautiful.”

He shifted in his chair. “I’m not sure I believe that. You sure as hell seemed like you regretted it.”

“I just explained it was because—” My voice was sharper than I intended, and I held up a hand. “Sorry. You’re right. But it wasn’t really because of what we did. I regretted it because it confused me, and I couldn’t stop wondering how I could’ve liked it that much if I’m straight.”

“I understand that. If I hooked up with a woman, I’d sure as hell wonder what the fuck I was doing after thirty-five years of being gay.”

“It’d be a head trip for sure.”

He nodded. “How do you feel about it now? It’s been a month, so how have your thoughts evolved?”