Page 13 of Overtime Goal (Buffalo Warriors Hockey #4)

riley

The nightmare struck without warning. I’d gone from asleep to trapped in an instant, pinned in a flash of blinding light, body locked and breath frozen.

I felt it before I heard it, the searing bite across my skin, each lash carving fire into my flesh.

The crack was sharp, as merciless as the pain.

The blows stacked on top of each other as every twitch earned me another lash.

My body flinched, but before I could brace, the belt bit into me again.

I couldn’t breathe because each slap paralyzed me, leaving screams trapped in my throat.

As suddenly as the beating began, it was over. My muscles were locked, and I was drenched in sweat. My heart pounded so hard I could barely think. I tried to move my feet, a trick I’d learned: wiggle a toe and take a tiny breath. Soon, harsh rasps filled the air as I struggled to breathe.

The door creaked, followed by Logan’s knock. “Heard you thrashing around. Everything okay?”

I tried to answer but all I managed was a shaky nod. He flicked on the lamp and sat at the edge of the bed, the same as always.

“You’re safe, Riles.”

My body jerked when his hand settled on my shoulder, but then I arched into his touch. Steady and warm, it was the reassurance I needed.

“I’ve got you,” he said.

I swallowed and tried to speak, but the words were still stuck in my throat.

“Take your time, Riles. I’m not going anywhere.”

He sat quietly until I finally managed a husky whisper. “Thank you. Will you stay with me?”

“You know it.” He slid under the covers and wrapped his arms around me. Did he know how much I needed him to hold me together?

I laid my head on his shoulder. “I don’t know why I’m such a disaster.”

He tightened his hug. “You’re not. I want to talk about your dreams sometime, though. I have an idea that might help.”

“Okay. Maybe tomorrow?”

“We’ll see how you feel. Right now, try to rest. I’m right here.”

My brain stopped fighting because it knew I wasn’t alone, and I fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

Worn out from the season, and with the playoffs only a few days away, we slept until ten.

While we made breakfast together, I found myself wishing we could do it every day.

I had to get my shit together and talk to Logan about what was happening between us.

Logan’s phone chirped while we ate, and he glanced at his screen. “Harpy’s texting.” As they messaged back and forth, Logan’s brow furrowed a little more with each reply.

When he finally set the phone down, I asked, “What’s up with our captain?”

Logan exhaled slowly. “Holky broke up with Dog last night. He made him leave, which is why Dog’s at Harpy and Luca’s.”

I wasn’t sure I’d heard correctly. “Wait, what?”

“Yeah.” His voice was grim. “Harpy says Dog’s a wreck. Holky isn’t answering texts, so he’s probably a mess too. Harpy wants to stage an intervention before things get worse.”

I’d thought Dog and Holky were rock solid. They chirped each other like maniacs and made everything into a competition, but they loved each other. Anyone could see it. Hell, you could feel it when they were in the room together.

“What kind of intervention?” I asked.

Logan swallowed the last of his coffee. “Some of the guys are going over to Harpy’s to check on Dog and help him figure out what to do. Harpy wants me to take a couple of men to Holky’s and try to talk some fucking sense into him.”

“Count me in,” I said. “No way we’re letting this bullshit stand.”

“I was hoping you’d come.”

“Who else should we ask? We need someone Holky listens to, or at least who’s big enough to sit on him while we talk.”

Logan smirked. “Only one choice.”

“Abby,” we said together.

After Logan sent him a text, Abby took his time responding. Two hours later, we were packed into Logan’s car, heading to Holky’s place with a loose plan and cautious optimism.

In the back seat, I kept thinking about what had happened during the night. The nightmare was still vivid in my mind, but stronger than that was how Logan had taken care of me. He’d made me feel safer than I’d ever been.

As we turned onto Holky’s street, Logan broke the silence. “The most important things will be to figure out what the hell he’s thinking, and remind him of how much he and Dog love each other. Someone who cares about you should be treasured, not dismissed.”

I stared out the window as his words hit close to home. Logan and I cared about each other, and that was something I couldn’t risk losing.

At Holky’s, Logan rang the bell, and after a moment with no response, he started pounding on it like he wanted to break it down. A few seconds later, Holky jerked the door open and shouted, “Go away. I’m not in the mood.”

Logan didn’t flinch. “Too fucking bad. We have things to discuss.”

“The hell we do. I’m not talking to anyone.

” Holky’s face was beet red, with a vein pulsing at his temple.

His hands shook, and the bags under his eyes made me wonder if he’d slept at all.

As angry as he seemed, his eyes gave him away: raw and grief-stricken, barely holding it together.

Whatever was about to happen, I wouldn’t let him pretend he was fine.

Abby stepped up beside Logan and glared at Holky. “Move your ass, or I move it for you.”

Holky glared at him like he wanted to fight, then stepped back.

Abby moved aside to let Logan and me go first. We went straight to the living room and sat in two chairs side by side.

“Better get comfortable,” Logan whispered. “This could take a while.”

I nodded. “That’s fucking fine with me. We can out-stubborn Holky all day.”

“Have fun, guys,” Holky said, turning to walk away.

Abby wrapped both arms around Holky from behind. He picked him up like he weighed nothing, and when Holky’s feet left the floor, I nearly choked trying to bite back a laugh.

“Okay,” Holky said, kicking the air like an angry kid until Abby set him down. He gave Abby a murderous look. “I can walk. You don’t have to manhandle me.”

Holky grumbled while he shuffled to the loveseat across from Logan and me and flopped down. He immediately crossed his arms and set his face into a scowl.

Abby wedged himself next to Holky, leaving him no room to escape. Holky’s scowl almost made me laugh again.

“Fine.” He spat out the word, then mumbled, “I’m sitting, but that doesn’t mean I’ll listen to a damn thing you say.”

Logan told him to stop acting like a toddler, and before Holky could snap at him, I asked, “Why the fuck would you throw Dog out?”

“Have you lost your goddamn mind?” Logan asked. “I know you’re goofy, but I never thought you were crazy.”

Holky looked like he couldn’t decide whether to cry or beat us up. “You don’t know anything. Get the fuck out.”

“No.” Abby’s harsh refusal earned him another angry look from Holky.

Holky shifted his gaze to Logan. “I told Dog to stay with you because I thought you’d take care of him, not so you could barge in and lecture me.”

“He isn’t at my place,” Logan said. “I haven’t seen him, but I’ve heard things. Tell us what’s going on, Holky.”

“Fuck off.” Holky punctuated his words by shooting two birds at Logan.

Abby tapped Holky’s thigh. “Is good thing I can cook. What should we have for dinner?”

Holky pressed his hands against the sides of his head. “I don’t know why you’re here because I don’t want to fucking talk. My life’s a goddamn train wreck, and I’m only trying to protect Chuck.”

“From what?” I asked. “Are you in trouble?”

He dropped his hands into his lap, and the naked fear in his eyes made my throat ache. “Not how you’re thinking,” he said, “but I was born in trouble. I broke things off before I destroyed him.”

“Destroyed him?” Logan asked. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

“I hurt people, drive them away. Whether I made Chuck leave or not, I’d have ended up alone. I thought it was better to cut things off now before I hurt him.”

I scoffed loudly. “You think you didn’t hurt him? Dog loves you, and from what I hear, he’s devastated.”

“I know I hurt him, but believe me, better now than later.”

Abby looked at Holky like he was deranged. “You sound like idiot.”

I broke into a laugh, and although I clapped a hand over my mouth, I couldn’t stop my shoulders from shaking. Holky looked like he wanted to slug me. It took a moment to get myself back under control. “Sorry. Nervous reaction, but Abby’s right. You do sound like an idiot.”

“Or a lunatic.” Logan leaned forward. “The fuck, Holky? You’re throwing away the best thing that ever happened to you because you’re afraid you’ll hurt him? You broke up with Dog to protect him? From you?”

Holky’s shoulders slumped. “You’re making it sound ridiculous.”

“Because it is ,” Logan said. “You love Dog, and it’s changed both of you for the better. Don’t sit there and give us a load of bullshit about how you’re trying to protect him. I don’t think that’s true. You’re trying to protect yourself.”

Holky’s eyes teared up, and when he finally spoke, he sounded like a broken man. “I’m scared.”

That hit me in the chest, and before I could stop myself, I glanced at Logan.

He’d been better to me than anyone ever had, and he was always there to support me when I needed him.

He let me know I mattered to him even when I didn’t matter to myself, and I liked him so much it scared the hell out of me.

I wanted him in ways I didn’t understand, physically and emotionally.

The panic I’d felt in LA had never really gone away, but it had changed. Now, I was afraid I couldn’t give him what he needed. Even worse, I was hurting him. If that cost me what we had, I wouldn’t survive.

I swallowed hard and looked at Holky. “You think being afraid means you’re dangerous? I hate to break it to you, but everybody’s afraid of fucking things up, especially in a relationship. I’d be worried if you weren’t afraid.”

“Seriously,” Logan said. “You think we don’t all have ghosts? Remember the shitshow that went down with Gabe and Brody? Fuck almighty, what about Harpy and Luca? Or me, when Davey and I split? I was so messed up, I spent a year convinced I didn’t deserve to be with anyone.”

Holky buried his face in his hands. “You don’t know what it’s like inside my head.”

“No,” I said, “but I live in mine. It’s not exactly a beach resort.”

That got a half-snort out of him, and Abby asked, “You love Dog?”

Holky dropped his hands. “So much I don’t know how I’ll live without him.”

“Then stop treating him like he’s breakable,” I said. “He’s Mad Dog, and in case you haven’t noticed, the name fits.”

Logan sighed. “He can take care of himself, Holky. You don’t have to fall on a sword for him. He just needs you to be real.”

Abby put an arm around Holky’s shoulders. “Is your chance, Holky. You’re in third period of your own love story, down one goal, five minutes to tie it up. What will you do?”

Holky shut his eyes, and a long moment passed before he looked at us again. “What the fuck have I done? You should’ve seen his face when he left.”

“You can fix it,” Abby said. “Dog loves you.”

Holky shook his head. “I’ve messed everything up. He probably won’t even talk to me.”

“Why not find out?” Logan asked. “I think you’re wrong, but if he won’t talk now, wait until he will. He’s not the only one who’s stubborn.”

I scooted forward, determined to make Holky understand. “Logan’s right. Don’t sit here thinking the worst. You made a mistake, but you’re lucky because you made it with someone who loves you. It doesn’t have to be permanent.”

How the hell can I tell him not to do exactly what I’m doing? This is seriously fucked up.

Holky sighed heavily. “I need time. I’ve got to figure out how to approach this without making things worse.”

“That’s fair,” Logan said, “but don’t wait long. These things don’t improve over time.”

Holy shit. What the fucking fuck? I have to get things right with Logan, but how?

We’d gone there for Holky, so my freakout would have to wait. I took a deep breath. “We’ve got you, buddy. Don’t get stuck in your head.”

Abby squeezed Holky’s arm. “Don’t be dumbass. Enough of being idiot for you.”

Holky made a noise that was something between a laugh and a sob. “No promises.”

We left not long after that. On the way back to the house, I stared out the window, lost in thought.

Our talk with Holky had been a wake-up call, and it was time for me to stop screwing around and get real.

I couldn’t let another day go by without talking to Logan.

I didn’t know what would happen, but if we were on the same page, we could figure it out together.